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This article is about the episode. You may be looking for a song with a similar name.


Let's be real pirates and search for Badbeard's treasure!

— Phineas Flynn

Phineas and Ferb with their friends search for the treasure of Badbeard. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz moves into his new lair in Spleen Island. Candace touches the orange moss and "hallucinates", seeing Perry as a secret agent.

Episode Summary[]

Phineas wakes up

Phineas gets an unexpected wakeup call.

Early morning at Camp Phineas and Ferb, Grandpa Clyde is playing the trumpet loudly around the tents. Phineas, Ferb, and Perry walk out of the tent, ready for the day. Exiting his and Buford's tent, Baljeet is coughing, exclaiming that he can't believe he and Buford shared food. Walking up to her grandmother, Candace asks where the shower is, but Betty Jo replies sarcastically, implying this is a spa.

After a little bit, Grandpa tells the kids breakfast is over, and it's time to go on their walk to Badbeard Lake. Phineas asks why the name is what it is, to which Grandpa responds by explaining the definition of a lake. Phineas states he means the "Badbeard" part, and so Grandpa explains it was named after Captain Badbeard, the most notorious freshwater pirate to ever plunder a lakeside community. The kids awe at this, and Grandpa goes on to explain Spleen Island, it's legendary curse, and Badbeard's stash of booty. Phineas remarks "Booty?" and so Grandpa explains it means treasure. The kids marvel at this word, and Grandpa colors one of the lenses in his glasses black to look like a pirate. He then starts singing the ballad of Badbeard with Buford playing the concertina.

Buford plays his concertina

Buford can play a mean concertina.

After Phineas says that the song is very short, Grandpa remarks he didn't say it was much of a song. He then tells them to meet them on the trail in 5 minutes, and they salute him. Stretching out his overalls, Baljeet remarks that he "seems to be missing his underwear," to which Buford answers by laughing and pointing at the flagpole, with Baljeet's boxers waving in place of a flag.

Baljeet's underpants flag

"Ha-ha!"

In five minutes, the kids, Grandpa and Grandma, and Candace are hiking up a hill. Grandpa starts explaining how to be safe on the trail, and brings up the dangers of the Orange Moss. As he explains it's properties, Candace begins getting bored and leans on an orange moss-filled tree, flipping open her cell phone. She complains about the lack of reception, as Grandpa ends his speech. Candace then realizes that she touched the moss, and then backs into the other tree, getting more moss on her skin. She then freaks out and runs off, screaming.

Singing Ballad of Badbeard

The gang sings.

Grandpa then points his wooden walking stick at Badbeard's Lake, and the kids are in awe. Grandpa then points at the center, where Spleen Island lies. He then states that the souls of the failed treasure hunters are lying in Davy Jone's locker. Phineas says that's cool. Grandpa then leads the kids down the dirt steps, singing the ballad as they go. Grandma stops and wonders where Candace is.

Agent E salutes Perry

Agent E and Perry.

Perry is walking mindlessly through the forest, before hopping up and slapping on his fedora, picking up and pressing a button. When nothing happens, he looks around, and is surprised as Agent E swoops down and picks him up and into the sky. She lands in her bird's nest, laying Agent P down and placing on her fedora. A video communicator cracks out of an egg with Major Monogram on it. He greets Agent P, and thanks Agent E. Then he explains to Perry that they are undergoing remodeling, and that his wife is doing it in a Mexican-Country style. Agent E then tries to feed Major Monogram's egg, and he tells her to back off. Once she does, he tells Perry that E spotted Doofenshmirtz on Spleen Island and is moving boxes into the "Cave of the Old Sea Hag." They believe he is making a new hideout, and Perry needs to stop him.

Candace spies on Perry

Candace spies on Perry.

On the tree across from them, Candace has her fingers over her eyes binocular-style and sees Perry salute. Acting hallucinogenic, she comments on the "messed up" happenings in the across nest. She then passes it off that it is the cause of the moss and she is hallucinating. She then wonders how she got up on the tree, and violently falls down, crashing into branches and landing in a bush, coughing. She then sees Agent E fly by and drop off Perry at the docks. Candace then accidentally gets her ankle caught in a rope attached to the wet ski that Perry darts off in. Candace then sees a talking zebra rocking in a rocking chair, who calls her Kevin. She then flies off along with Perry.

At the lakeside beach, Baljeet and Buford are dueling with wooden swords like pirates, while Isabella, Phineas, and Ferb sit inside the boat. Grandpa jogs up, and Phineas decided that they should sail to Spleen Island and find Badbeard's treasure. Grandpa encourages them, and tells him of his youth, when he, attracted by the excitement, searched for the treasure. Though he didn't find the treasure, he did find the map, and so he pulls it out of his hat. Grandpa explains then that the treasure comes with a curse, and whoever dares to open it will be cursed with bad beards, exciting the kids.

Candace is imagining a psychedelia backdrop around her and multicolored oozing hair as she flaps behind Perry's wet ski. But in reality, she is banging very violently on the water screaming, as Perry ventures inside the Cave of the Old Sea Hag.

Ferb unrolls the map on a metal stand. Phineas moves his pointer along the map, commenting on the bad-sounding locations they need to dock through. He then turns and remarks that it sounds delightful. Commenting it is simple, he says they have to remake Grandpa's dinghy. Ferb unveils a gigantic diagram of a first-class pirate ship, which the group marks as impressive.

Candace covered in algae

Candace the "old sea hag."

Doofenshmirtz bought this place

Doofenshmirtz captures Perry.

Perry, meanwhile, zooms inside the cave, as Candace, covered in seaweed, crawls up laughing onto a boulder in the water. She sees Perry very slowly, and laughs insanely. Perry opens a purple door on the wall, and runs inside. Doofenshmirtz asks if it's the cable guy, picking and capturing Perry in a robotic arm. He walks up to him, looking at a piece of paper, complaining that they don't carry the evil science channel, before realizing it's Perry. He yells at him to cut him a break, that he's moving legally. He bought it cheap, and explains that it apparently is haunted by a "terrifying old sea-hag." He says that just because he's evil doesn't mean everything he does is evil. Perry stares him down disbelievingly, and so Doofenshmirtz says he'll show him evil if he wants to.

On Badbeard Lake, the ship, now just like Ferb's plans, is sailing down the blue. Phineas slams out of the captain's deck, and the group starts singing a longer version of the ballad. After that, the gang mounts onto the island from a small rowboat. They step up mountain side steps, and enter the Tunnel of Doom. Inside, water is leaking, and Ferb is holding up the map as he leads them. Isabella asks Phineas if they're sure their going the right way, and Phineas assures her Ferb has the map and knows where they're going. The Map then flutters off of the cliff side. Phineas tries to assure them, and they then stand across of a rickety bridge. Phineas tests it out, and says it's fine. But when all of them go on the bridge at once, the bridge collapses and they fall through a tunnel onto a giant lizard.

The lizard extends itself and the kids jump off onto a cliff, and run as the beast chases them. They go through dangerous paths, and at one point over a two-part cliff, where Isabella yells at Buford for playing around with "nifty hand puppets" They continue to run, and slow down, ending up in a cavern similar to the tunnel of doom. Isabella asks if they really are in the right place, and Buford asks the possibility of no treasure. Baljeet considers the real treasure to be that of friendship and adventure, but the others ignore him, Phineas pointing to a giant door with a red "X" on it to his left. Entering it they see the chest, and Phineas volunteers to open it. Isabella is scared, and Buford reminds him of the curse, followed by Baljeet saying "You don't even have a chin!" Phineas opens the chest, and reveals that it is full of tacky (or "bad") fake beards, wearing one himself.

In Doofenshmirtz's new lair, he has Perry hovered over a hatch, and opens the hatch to reveal two crocodiles named "Susan and Susan", after each other. As they snap at Perry, Candace walks up, laughing crazily and covered in seaweed. Doofenshmirtz yells, scared, that it's the sea hag, and backs off as Candace calls him "the pharmacist!" He trips and sends the button to the floor, Perry now free to escape. Candace tells him she's getting something from the vending machine, though actually pointing to the self-destruct button. Perry tries to stop her, but she clicks the button wanting beef jerky. The alarm rings, and Perry darts off with her to get off the island. Doofenshmirtz struggles to keep the Susans from eating him.

The kids marvel at the beards, all wearing them, as rumbles start to happen from the self-destruct. They grab as much beards as they can, running off with them to the exit of the cavern. The lizard is still clawing at the entrance to the cavern, and chases after them. But he gets stuck as they shoot through a tunnel hastily, seeing the ship through a hole. They slid out and onto the rowboat, sailing away to the ship.

Perry keeps running down a tunnel with Candace, jumping off a cliff and into a water-rush, which leads to a waterfall. The two fall out, Agent E grabbing them and flying away, dropping them onto the boy's ship. The island falls into the deep. The kids awe at the amazed of what just happened, as Candace asks Perry where his hat went. Phineas tells Ferb that it was a great trip, and Ferb remarks it as the greatest pirate story ever told.

Grandpa, wearing a purple beard, agrees back at the campsite with this. Inside a tent, Grandma gauges Candace's status, learning that the teenager thought that one needed to stay away from the orange moss. Grandma explains that it is actually the blue moss that generates hallucinations. Candace then accidentally puts her hand in blue moss, and views the zebra one more time.

Transcript[]

Read the transcript of The Ballad of Badbeard.

Songs[]

End Credits[]

A replay of "Ballad of Badbeard", missing Candace's line. During the logo, Buford says "Bad beards forever, dude."

Gallery[]

Click here to view more images from "The Ballad of Badbeard".
View the image gallery for "The Ballad of Badbeard".

Running Gags[]

I know what we're gonna do today![]

Phineas: Hey! I know what we should do today! Let's be real pirates, and go find Badbeard's treasure.

The "Too Young" Line[]

None.

Ferb's Lines[]

Clyde: So, meet me at the trail head in 5 minutes.
Baljeet, Buford, Isabella and Ferb: Aye aye, Captain Grandpa.
Clyde: That's the spirit.
(Line in song)
Ferb: ...And all refuse to take a bath...
Phineas: Well Ferb, me old matey, our first time out as pirates and we come home with a bounty of beards!
Ferb: And perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told.

He makes astounded exclamations during Clyde's story of Badbeard.

Sings in Ballad of Badbeard

What'cha Doin'?[]

None.

Perry's entrance to his lair[]

Agent E grabs him by the shoulders and flies him to her nest where an egg hatches and a communicator communicating with Major Monogram is inside.

Hey, where's Perry?[]

Grandma Betty Jo: Candace? Where's Candace?
Phineas: Oh, by the way, where's Per— (Sees him on the ship) Oh, nevermind.

Oh, there you are, Perry[]

None.

Mistaking Doofenshmirtz for a pharmacist[]

Doofenshmirtz: (Frightened) The sea hag!
Candace: (Cheerfully) The pharmacist!

Memorable Quotes[]

Phineas: It sounds like someone strangling a cat! It must be Grandpa!
Phineas: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!
Phineas: Why do they call it Badbeard Lake, Grandpa?
Clyde: Well, it's a body of fresh water surrounded by land—
Phineas: No, the Badbeard part.
Candace: (while on orange moss) No way, this is so weird. I see Perry with an eagle and they're dressed like secret agents and they're talking to a man inside an egg. (laughs and covers her mouth) That is so messed up!
Buford: Ha ha! Take that, you scurvy dog!
Baljeet: Ha ha! I do not even know what scurvy is!
Clyde: I remember when I first found that treasure map. I spent every summer searching for Badbeard's treasure.... Of course, then I discovered girls, and the rest is a blur.
Clyde: Well gotta find your Grandma, wish there was a map for that.
Phineas:...and travel on foot through the Tunnel of Doom... well, that sounds delightful!
Candace: Why do my nostrils whisper to me?
(what looks like monsters are snapping at the kids)
Isabella: Oh my gosh, Buford, what are you doing?
Buford: Look, I found these new nifty hand puppets!
Isabella: Well, stop fooling around, and let's go!
Buford: Oh, all right.
Isabella: But, Phineas, what about the curse?
Buford: Bad beards forever, dude.
Baljeet: You don't even have a chin!
Candace: I'm gonna have me some beef jerky.
Betty Jo: It's the blue moss you've gotta watch out for.
Candace: W-what?
Betty Jo: I guess it was all in your head. Well, that's the power of suggestion for ya. You get some rest now, sweetie.
Candace: (looks down and realizes has had hand in blue moss the whole time) The blue moss. What?! (background becomes psychadelic) Oh...
Talking Zebra: Love the beard, Kevin.

Production Information[]

International Premieres[]

  • June 20, 2008 (Disney Channel Latin America and Brazil)
  • July 26, 2008 (Disney Channel Spain)

Errors[]

  • As Clyde sings the song, Buford plays the concertina. Towards the end of the song, the kids gather around Clyde but Buford doesn't hold a concertina (although the music is still playing).
  • When the gang enters the cave, as Baljeet comes onscreen his shirt stripes are blue for a split second, instead of white.
  • Grandma was part of the hiking party when Grandpa warned about the orange moss, but corrected him later in Candace's tent.
  • When she is getting dragged by Perry's speedboat, Candace's socks and shoes disappear. However, when she is flown to the boat by Agent E, her socks appear. In the next scene, her socks and shoes appear again. They are later seen by Candace's sleeping bag.
  • The first time the group sees the giant iguana, it is partially underwater, but the second time, when they are running to get off the island, there is no water.
  • When Agent E flies Perry to her nest, her hat is brown with a black stripe. While Major Monogram speaks, her hat is black with a brown stripe. In the next scene, her hat is brown again.
  • When Phineas says "Booty?" the plate he was holding disappears along with everyone else's.
  • Gretchen and Holly get seasick when they enter in a ship in this episode, but in "That Sinking Feeling", they don't get seasick at all. This may be explained by them being more used to a ship or the boat used here is more wobbly.
    • Also, Gretchen appears when all the kids are singing, while Holly does not.
  • Near the beginning, when Clyde shows them the lake, Candace has her hand on her hip, her phone in that hand, and her other hand against the moss.
  • The Fireside Girls were seen on the ship during the song, but they were never with Phineas, Ferb, and the others for the rest of the episode. However, it is possible they all stayed behind on the ship while the others ventured to the island.

Continuity[]

  • While in Doofenshmirtz's lair, Candace calls Doofenshmirtz a "pharmacist". This may be a reference to "Run Away Runway" where Doofenshmirtz's clones caused a fashion craze for his clothes. When Linda Flynn-Fletcher saw everyone dressed as Doofenshmirtz, she said it was a Pharmacist Convention.
  • Doofenshmirtz again uses the robotic arm, previously used in "Rollercoaster." This might be because of his unpacking.
  • Buford ran Baljeet's underpants up the flag pole like he said he was going to do in "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!".
  • This episode takes place the day after "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!".

Allusions[]

  • Captain Blackbeard - "Badbeard" is a parody of the infamous Captain Blackbeard.
  • Phineas's map has many landmarks which are gags: Point Plots (plot point), Sea of Bile, Stones of Gall (Gall stones), Spleen Island, and the Cove of Incontinence.
  • Alice in Wonderland - The Talking Zebra may refer to the Cheshire Cat from Disney's Alice in Wonderland.
  • The Simpsons Movie - The way the pirate ship blueprint is folded may have been copied from the scene in The Simpsons Movie, where Homer unfolded his Alaska poster.
  • Baljeet's boxer shorts flying on the flagpole may be a nod the '90s Nickelodeon series Salute Your Shorts.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean - Phineas and Ferb's ship has a small resemblance to the Black Pearl in Pirates of the Caribbean. The ship also bears a skull that is reminiscent of the one seen in the movie's logo. Also, its ability to talk makes it reminiscent of the talking skull seen in the ride before the boat goes over a waterfall.

Trivia[]

  • This episode marks the first time Candace sees Perry wearing his hat. It is also the first episode that someone not from the O.W.C.A agency or L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. knows that Perry is a secret agent. (She attributes it to the hallucinations.)
  • This episode shows that Buford can play concertina very well.
  • This is the first time Ferb uses his regular voice (provided by Thomas Sangster) to sing and not a different one, (usually provided by Danny Jacob) while all of the other songs he sang used Jacob's voice. (Note that Ferb singing in The Ballad of Badbeard is not so much singing as rhythmic talking.)
  • The zebra Candace sees later appears in "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!" and "Nerds of a Feather".
  • This marks the second appearance of the boys' maternal grandparents, Betty Jo and Clyde Flynn. ("Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!")
  • This is the second episode that Linda does not appear in. ("Are You My Mummy?")
  • Katie is the only Fireside Girl who does not appear.

Cast[]

Main article: Credits
designates a character that did not appear in this episode

References[]

Previous:
"Tree to Get Ready"
Episodes Next:
"Greece Lightning"
v - e - dPhineas and Ferb
Season 1
"Rollercoaster" | "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror" | "Flop Starz" | "The Fast and the Phineas"
"Lights, Candace, Action!" | "Raging Bully" | "Candace Loses Her Head" | "I, Brobot"
"Run Away Runway" | "The Magnificent Few" | "S'Winter" | "Jerk De Soleil" | "Are You My Mummy?"
"Ready for the Bettys" | "I Scream, You Scream" | "Toy to the World"
"Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!" | "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" | "Mom's Birthday"
"Journey to the Center of Candace" | "It's About Time!"
"Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together" | "Tree to Get Ready" | "The Ballad of Badbeard"
"Greece Lightning" | "Leave the Busting to Us!" | "Crack That Whip" | "The Best Lazy Day Ever"
"Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C." | "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" | "A Hard Day's Knight"
"Traffic Cam Caper" | "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" | "Got Game?" | "Comet Kermillian"
"Put That Putter Away" | "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" | "The Flying Fishmonger"
"One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" | "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein" | "Oil on Candace"
"Out of Toon" | "Hail Doofania!" | "Out to Launch" | "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!"
"Unfair Science Fair" | "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)"
Season 2
"The Lake Nose Monster" | "Interview With a Platypus" | "Tip of the Day"
"Attack of the 50 Foot Sister" | "Backyard Aquarium" | "Day of the Living Gelatin"
"Elementary My Dear Stacy" | "Don't Even Blink" | "Chez Platypus" | "Perry Lays an Egg"
"Gaming the System" | "The Chronicles of Meap" | "Thaddeus and Thor" | "De Plane! De Plane!"
"Let's Take a Quiz" | "At the Car Wash" | "Oh, There You Are, Perry" | "Swiss Family Phineas"
"Hide and Seek" | "That Sinking Feeling" | "The Baljeatles" | "Vanessassary Roughness"
"No More Bunny Business" | "Spa Day" | "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo"
"Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown" | "Bubble Boys" | "Isabella and the Temple of Sap"
"Cheer Up Candace" | "Fireside Girl Jamboree" |"The Bully Code" | "Finding Mary McGuffin" | "Picture This"
"Nerdy Dancin'" | "What Do It Do?" | "Atlantis" | "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!"
"Just Passing Through" | "Candace's Big Day" | "I Was a Middle Aged Robot" | "Suddenly Suzy"
"Undercover Carl" | "Hip Hip Parade" | "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers" | "Ain't No Kiddie Ride"
"Not Phineas and Ferb" | "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" | "The Lizard Whisperer" | "Robot Rodeo" | "The Beak"
"She's the Mayor" | "The Lemonade Stand" | "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" | "Nerds of a Feather"
"Wizard of Odd" | "We Call it Maze" | "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!" | "The Secret of Success"
"The Doof Side of the Moon" | "Split Personality" | "Brain Drain" | "Rollercoaster: The Musical!"
"Make Play" | "Candace Gets Busted"
Season 3
"The Great Indoors" | "Canderemy" | "Run, Candace, Run" | "Last Train to Bustville"
"Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" | "The Belly of the Beast" | "Moon Farm"
"Ask a Foolish Question" | "Misperceived Monotreme" | "Candace Disconnected"
"Magic Carpet Ride" | "Bad Hair Day" | "Meatloaf Surprise" | "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted"
"A Real Boy" | "Mommy Can You Hear Me?" | "Road Trip" | "Tour de Ferb" | "Skiddley Whiffers"
"My Fair Goalie" | "Bullseye!" | "That's the Spirit" | "The Curse of Candace"
"Escape from Phineas Tower" | "Lotsa Latkes" | "Ferb Latin"
"A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas" | "Tri-Stone Area" | "Doof Dynasty" |"Excaliferb"
"Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" | "Monster from the Id" | "Gi-Ants"
"The Remains of the Platypus" | "Mom's in the House" | "Perry The Actorpus" | "Let's Bounce"
"Bully Bromance Breakup" | "Quietest Day Ever" | "The Doonkelberry Imperative‎‎"
"Meapless in Seattle" | "Delivery of Destiny" | "Buford Confidential" | "The Mom Attractor"
"Cranius Maximus" | "Agent Doof" | "Minor Monogram" | "What A Croc!" | "Sleepwalk Surprise"
"Sci-Fi Pie Fly" | "Sipping with the Enemy" | "Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets" | "Doofapus"
"Norm Unleashed" | "Where's Perry?" | "Where's Perry? (Part Two)" |"Ferb TV"
"When Worlds Collide" | "What'd I Miss?" | "Road to Danville"
"This Is Your Backstory" | "Blackout!"
Season 4
"For Your Ice Only" | "Happy New Year!" | "Fly On the Wall" | "Bully Bust" | "My Sweet Ride"
"Der Kinderlumper" | "Sidetracked" | "Primal Perry" | "Mind Share" | "Backyard Hodge Podge"
"Bee Day" | "Bee Story" | "Great Balls Of Water" | "Where's Pinky?"
"Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne"
"Knot My Problem" | "Just Desserts" | "La Candace-Cabra" | "Happy Birthday, Isabella"
"Love at First Byte" | "One Good Turn" | "Thanks But No Thanks" | "Troy Story"
"Druselsteinoween" | "Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror" | "Face Your Fear" | "Cheers for Fears"
"Steampunx" | "Just Our Luck" | "Return Policy" | "Live and Let Drive" | "Father's Day"
"Imperfect Storm" | "The Return of the Rogue Rabbit" | "It's No Picnic" | "The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"
"Operation Crumb Cake" | "Mandace" | "Lost in Danville" | "The Inator Method"
"Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension" | "Doof 101" | "Act Your Age"
Season 5
"Summer Block Buster" | "Cloudy with a Chance of Mom" | "Appetite for Adventure" | "License to Bust"
"Dry Another Day" | "Deconstructing Doof" | "Tropey McTropeface" | "Biblio-Blast!" | "A Chip to the Vet"
"More Than an Intern" | "The Aurora Perry-Alis" | "Agent T (For Teen)" | "The Haberdasher"
"The Candace Suit" | "Out of Character" | "Meap Me in St. Louis"
Specials
"Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" | "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"
"Night of the Living Pharmacists" | "Last Day of Summer" | "O.W.C.A. Files"
Films
Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension
Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe
Crossovers
"Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel" | "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" | "The Phineas and Ferb Effect"
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