Opening Sequence[]
(A grey background is shown, then the ground quakes and the "Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel" logo comes out while Phineas and Ferb play the opening on their electric guitars)
Spider-Man: Aunt May! Phineas and Ferb are making a crossover!
Phineas: Yeah, we are!
Act I[]
(Open up on outer space where Phineas, Ferb, and the gang are surfing the asteroid belt.)
(Song: "Surfin' Asteroids")
♪ Grab a spaceboard and catch a wave, ♪
♪ The asteroid ocean is quite a rave. ♪
♪ We're gonna zoom-zoom-zoom through the stratosphere ♪
♪ There's a reason that they call it the final frontier. ♪
♪ Shoot the tube into the void, ♪
♪ We're surfin' asteroids! ♪
♪ Take my hand, we're gonna rock and roll, ♪
♪ Past a little red dwarf and a big black hole; ♪
♪ So grab a friend and come right over, ♪
♪ Pretty soon, this party's gonna supernova! (Supernova!) (Supernova!) ♪
♪ Past a big blue comet and a purple quasar, ♪
♪ Just need a pressure suit and a surf guitar ♪
♪ Just shoot the tube into the void ♪
♪ We're surfin' asteroids! ♪
♪ (We're surfin' those asteroids) ♪
♪ Surfin' asteroids! ♪
♪ (We're surfin' those asteroids) ♪
♪ Surfin' asteroids! ♪
Isabella: That was awesome!
Phineas: Yeah! The cosmic rays we collected through our satellite dish made a great power source for our surfboards.
Baljeet: Well, I, for one, need to get back to the space station.
Phineas: All right.
Buford: You know, these suits are equipped with—
Baljeet: I do not want to do it in the suit!
(The gang surf their way into a giant space station shaped like Phineas and Ferb's heads. Inside the space station, the gang have their suits off are talking with a floating screen with Irving on it.)
Irving: Hi, guys! How are the asteroid waves?
Phineas: They were totally crankin', dude!
(In the backyard where Irving is acting as mission control.)
Irving: (laughing) He called me "dude"!
(Cut back to Phineas)
Phineas: We're about to take the module down. Are we clear for landing?
Irving: One moment. (He gets up)
(Irving chases a butterfly off the ground.)
Irving: All clear! Hey, where's Perry?
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
(Inside the building Agent P is already trapped.)
Doofenshmirtz: Struggle all you want, Perry the Platypus, you're not getting out of that! It's hydraulic! I don't know if you're aware of this, but my brother, Roger, is the mayor. (Perry just gives him a look indicating that he was, in fact, aware of it.) Alright, I may have touched upon the subject from time to time, but, y'know, I figured why not mention it again just for clarity? Anyway, that job gives him all these cool mayoral powers. So I created the Power-Drain-inator to drain all his powers into this canister, and then I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, get to wield them! Just think, I will have the power to raise taxes, pass legislation and-and even cut the ceremonial ribbon at openings! Where I'll finally be able to use (He produces a pair of giant scissors from behind his back) these! You like them? I-I got 'em at a garage sale. (He leans the scissors onto a hydraulic pump, which leaks and releasing Perry from his trap.) Ah, see? Th-th-that's one of those hydraulic lines that, uh, goes to your— (Perry flings himself at Doofenshmirtz, who falls backwards, and then takes the inator, smashing it to pieces.) (grunts) Aw, come on!!! One kick and you destroy my inator? What? W-W-And what? You're just gonna thwart and run? I thought this was going to be a special extended episode! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! (A piece of the broken inator zaps up to the sky.) Aaah! Uh-oh.
(The beam hits the satellite on top of Phineas and Ferb's space station, it bounces back, headed towards New York City. At the Statue of Liberty, a caption is seen saying "New York: Moments earlier...")
Hot Dog Vendor: Hey, Vinnie, the usual?
Vinnie: Yeah, same old, same old.
(A building sign falls to the ground as people of New York starts running and screaming. A generic hip hop song plays in the background Spider-Man web slings his way around.)
(Song: "My Streets")
♪ Alright, smart guy, think you must have made a mistake ♪
♪ But I'm feelin' kinda generous I'll give you a break ♪
New Yorker: Go get 'em, Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Woo!! (He gets splashed by a fire hydrant) I didn't know this was gonna be a pool party. I woulda brought my trunks!
(Cut to another part of New York, where Iron Man, the Hulk, and Thor are battling with Whiplash and Venom. Iron Man zaps Venom. Whiplash whips a fire escape. Hulk attempts to run at him but gets trapped by the fire escape remains. He roars his way out of them and pulls a lamppost from the ground, flinging it at Whiplash, who takes a couple of pieces of it and flings them at Iron Man, who zaps Whiplash and the villain screams.)
Whiplash: (screams)
(Venom gets a jump on Hulk, who smashes him. Thor flies into Venom. Spidey finally arrives.)
Iron Man: Oh, hey, kid! Glad you could make it!
Spider-Man: (while webbing Venom) I'm just fashionably late.
(Hulk throws the tied up Venom and Thor hammers Whiplash. Two big doors open revealing M.O.D.O.K. riding some big vehicle with Red Skull at the wheel.)
Iron Man: Back off, fellas! If that thing firing anti-matter blasts, it's gonna pack a big punch!
Hulk: I pack a bigger punch!
(The anti-matter blasts into Hulk.)
Hulk: (Grunts)
Red Skull: M.O.D.O.K., take zem all out!
(Spidey flings a web at M.O.D.O.K. raveling his hands.)
M.O.D.O.K.: Fool! Your webs cannot stop my mind! (He laughs)
(One of the guns fires anti-matter at Spidey, but misses.)
Spider-Man: Missed me!
(Iron Man fires a blast from his chest, breaking the wheels of the vehicle. Thor hammers the vehicle and Hulk lifts it up and flings it into the Hudson River. The heroes threw Red Skull and M.O.D.O.K.. in between Whiplash and Venom.)
Iron Man: That's it for you creeps!
Spider-Man: Ooh ooh! Can I web 'em up?
(The -inator beam blasts the heroes.)
Marvel Heroes: (Groans)
Red Skull: Let's go! (The villains all flee but Red Skull bumps into M.O.D.O.K..) Move, you big tin schnitzel!!!
Thor: What was that?
Spider-Man: I dunno. But they're getting away! (He attempts to climb a wall, but falls.) Whoa! Well, that's new.
(Iron Man's suit powers down.)
Iron Man: Something's wrong. I can't move!
Thor: Sit tight! Mighty Mjolnir will bring them down! (He attempts to throw the hammer, but it crashes into the ground.) My strength, it's gone!
Hulk: I'll go. (Hulk tries to smash, but nothing happens.)
Iron Man: Somehow our powers have been drained. I need to get to JARVIS and figure this out. Let's get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. (The heroes all walk away, except for Iron Man who attempts to move, but remains immobile.) Hey, guys! My power's down and my suit's frozen! Can somebody get me a hand?
Spider-Man: Hulk, can you carry him?
Hulk: My power's gone, too.
Iron Man: Oh, for— Well, can somebody find a furniture dolly?
(Back in Danville, the gang are being lowered onto a drill-like dome.)
Buford: That was the best thing we've done this morning!
(They lower into the ground and the dome disappears. Candace makes her perfectly timed busting entrance with her Mom.)
Candace: Mom! Hurry! Here! Look!
Phineas: Hi, Mom!
Linda: Hi, kids!
Candace: Why aren't you in space?
Buford: Eh, we got hungry.
Linda: Oh, that's my cue! I'll make you guys some snacks before I leave!
(At the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier.)
Spider-Man: Well, this stinks! Without my spider-powers, I'm just a guy in a body stocking!
Thor: And I had to leave Mjolnir in the street!
(Cutaway to New York where a female traffic cop is giving a ticket to Mjolnir for standing at a "No Stopping Anytime" sign. Cut back to the Helicarrier.)
Thor: It just became too heavy.
(Hulk comes in carrying Iron Man on a dolly.)
Iron Man: At least you guys aren't locked inside this metal suit. Man, do I regret having that second cup of coffee this morning. Now we have to find out where that beam came from.
Nick Fury: Danville. Danville, USA.
Spider-Man: Have you been standing there this whole time?
Nick Fury: Yes. Yes I have. (He walks to a screen which shows the inator beam hitting the space station satellite) The beam that hit you originated from the Tri-State Area, bounced off a space station satellite dish, and hit you in New York City during your fight.
Spider-Man: Is that one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s?
Nick Fury: No. It's theirs.
(The space station image fades to Phineas and Ferb's images.)
Spider-Man: Man, that kid's got a weird-shaped head.
Iron Man: (jumping) Hey! Hey! Guys, I-I can't see with the—Hey- (falls down) Little help here?
Hulk: I got him.
(Norm is busy vacuuming up the debris from Doofenshmirtz's inator)
Doofenshmirtz: Make sure you get all these little pieces over here, too. No no, y-you're missing the big one.
Norm: Okey-dokey!
Doofenshmirtz: Y'know, Norm, the Power-Drain-inator did get one shot off before it died. I wonder if it hit anything.
Gordon Gutsofanemu: (on television) Dateline: New York City. A mysterious ray has drained the power from four of our beloved superheroes. We now return you to Horse in a Bookcase, already in progress.
Doofenshmirtz: That was me! Th-Th-That was me! I drained the power from those superheroes! Winning! Ooh, ooh, I-I should update my evil blog on the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. site! (sits down at the computer and types) OMG!! I drained all the powers from a group of superheroes all the way in New York, and those powers belong to me now! Happy Emoticon (Typed out as >:D >:D >:D) And send! Norm, let's get the powers out of the canister so I can start wielding them! I-I can't wait to fly and run fast and carry a big hammer around for no reason!
Norm: Uh, sir, I hate to be the bearer of empty canisters, but this canister is empty.
Doofenshmirtz: What?! So I don't have the powers?
Norm: Time to blog a retraction, I guess.
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, y'know, I'm not gonna change it. Everyone exaggerates on the Internet.
(Cut to Red Skull's castle. Red Skull was watching the footage of the green energy beam hitting the Marvel Heroes and draining their powers.)
Red Skull: There vas a slight miscalculation. It becomes clearer upon seeing zis footage.
Whiplash: That is more than a slight miscalculation, Red Skull. It's a major mistake!
Venom: We could have destroyed the heroes once and for all!
Red Skull: Enough! It doesn't change ze fact zat ze heroes are now powerless!
Whiplash: Well, what could have happened to their powers?
Red Skull: M.O.D.O.K.?
M.O.D.O.K.: I, M.O.D.O.K., the perfect combination of human intellect and machine, have interfaced with all of the digital information stored on the vast network, the World Wide Web!
Whiplash: I can do the same thing with my phone. Plus I got free roaming!
Venom: Nice!
M.O.D.O.K.: As I was saying, I have found some puny inferior human known as Doofenshmirtz claiming that he has drained the heroes of all their superpowers.
Red Skull: Hmm, Doofenshmirtz. Zat sounds Drusselshteinian. I have a cousin who married a Drusselshteinian. She is dead to me!! So, who is zis Doofenshmirtz?
M.O.D.O.K.: I'm projecting his image now.
(Doof's image appears.)
Red Skull: He is beautifully grotesque.
Whiplash: All hideous and deformed.
Venom: He must have some backstory.
Red Skull: Vere can we find zis sideshow freak?
M.O.D.O.K.: (showing an image of D.E.I.) He's in the Tri-State Area, Danville to be precise!
Red Skull: Danville, eh? Gentlemen, it looks like we are going on an evil road trip.
M.O.D.O.K.: Ooh, shotgun!
Red Skull: YOU DO NOT FIT IN ZE SHOTGUN POSITION!!!!
(Cut to the backyard.)
Phineas: Well, that was fun, and it's only 10:30. What else should we do today?
Linda: Oh, hey, kids. I'm going to be taking a walking tour of the Tri-State Area today. (her phone rings) Yes, Candace, you're in charge.
Candace: Whoopee!!
Linda: Bye, kids.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry? Oh, there he is!
(Cut back to D.E.I. A huge vehicle lowers onto the balcony. The supervillains exit from the door. Venom hisses. Cut to his foot to reveal that he stepped into a Perry the Platypus trapped. He gets his foot out of it.)
Computer: Platypus trap engaged.
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platyp—You're not Perry the Platypus! Who are you guys?
Red Skull: Zis is Vhiplash, zis is Venom, and I am Red Skull.
Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Yes, you are. Y'know, you really should use sunblock. Y-You're burned down to the bone.
M.O.D.O.K.: I am M.O.D.O.K., and you are the one they call "Doofenshmirtz".
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, yeah. That's what they sing at the end of the birthday song...Well, y'know, at least they...would have if...anybody ever sang....that song to me. Anyway...Hey, the floating head and little arms thing. I-I tried that back in the '90s.
(Cutaway to Doofenshmirtz as a floating head with little arms.)
Doofenshmirtz: I'll rule the Tri-State Areaaaa! (bumps into a wall)
(End cutaway.)
Doofenshmirtz: I could never maneuver out the front door, but-but I see you're pretty mobile. W-What are you guys doing here?
Red Skull: Shos your davices, Doofenshmirtz!
Doofenshmirtz: "Shess-so-davices?" I-Is that Latin?
Red Skull: Show us your devices.
Doofenshmirtz: I-I-I-I-I'm still not gettin' it. Anyone?
Whiplash: I have no idea.
Red Skull: (grunts) Show...us...your...devices!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, you want to see my inators! Man...Man, you've got quite an accent there! Alright, (walks up to an inator) here's what I'm workin' on now. Behold, the Slothinator! It will give me the powers of a sloth...which are super-slowness and super-leaf-eating.
Red Skull: (to M.O.D.O.K.) Are you sure zis is ze right guy?
M.O.D.O.K.: M.O.D.O.K. is infallible!
Red Skull: Then he must be toying with us. Playing us for fools! He is even more diabolical than we thought!
Doofenshmirtz: (holding up a branch) Seriously, I'll be able to eat this whole branch, but...y'know, like, slowly.
(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. The doorbell rings.)
Phineas: Ferb, are you expecting someone?
(Ferb opens the door to reveal the superheroes.)
Ferb: Not them.
Act II[]
(Open up on the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Spider-Man: (offscreen) Aren't you a little young to be stealing superheroes' superpowers?
(Cut to the kitchen)
Phineas: Yes. Yes, we would be, Spider-Man, if we actually did it. But like I said, I don't think we did.
Iron Man: You can't see it, but I have a rather severe look of disappointment on my face.
(Isabella walks up to Iron Man with a ladder and a juice box.)
Isabella: This'll turn that tin frown upside-down!
Thor: Juice in a box? We have nothing like this in Asgard.
Hulk: (grunting) Straw cannot penetrate!
Spider-Man: Hey, hey, hey! Calm blue ocean. (taking the juice box) Let me take care of that for ya, buddy.
Iron Man: Thanks, Isabella. Well, the power-siphoning ray originated from the Tri-State Area. And I was thinking you guys would know something about it since it bounced off your space station.
Phineas: Are you sure it was our space station?
Hulk: It was shaped like your head.
Phineas: Well, that sounds like ours, but we don't know anything about a power-siphoning ray.
Iron Man: I was afraid of that. Well, the first thing we have to do is get our powers back.
Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna d—
Candace: (coming down the stairs) Alright, boys and girls, listen up, Mom's on a walking tour of Danville and Dad's tinkering in the basement, so I'm in charge. That means no shenanigans! Hey, Spider-Man. So I'll be over at Stacy's all...d-d-d-daaay???!!!
Spider-Man: 'Sup?
Thor: Greetings, fair young maiden.
Candace: It's super...heroes...in...duh...our...kitchen!
Isabella: Candace is gonna go lie down for a while.
(Isabella leads Candace out.)
|
Candace: |
Isabella: |
Phineas: Looks like you guys have a fan.
Iron Man: Oh, boy. (Tips over and an inexplicable cat is heard screeching.)
Thor: And it's probably good she didn't see that.
Iron Man: I'm okay.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
(Cut to Agent P's lair where Agent P walks up to his chair.)
Major Monogram: Have a seat, Agent P. (cut to reveal Monogram on an old black and white TV set) Due to the gravity of your mission today, the gentleman on the big screen will be addressing you (Wide shot to reveal Fury on the big screen) while I use this old TV monitor Carl found in the basement.
Carl: (offscreen) Sorry, sir, I couldn't get the split-screen to work.
Major Monogram: Anyway, this is director Nick Fury of S-H-I-E-L-D.
Nick Fury: That's S.H.I.E.L.D.! It's an acronym.
Major Monogram: Oh, like "O.W.C.A.".
Nick Fury: Yes, except it's cool. Now, where is your agent, Major?
Major Monogram: He's sitting right there.
Nick Fury: You mean behind the platypus?
Major Monogram: No, that's Secret Agent Perry the Platypus.
Nick Fury: Is he some kind of super-platypus with super-platypus powers?
Major Monogram: (suddenly wearing an eyepatch) Uh...no.
Nick Fury: Does he have some kind of robotic platypus exoskeleton?
Major Monogram: He, uh, he has a fedora.
Nick Fury: Hey, wait a minute, were you wearing that eyepatch when we started?!
Major Monogram: Oh, this? Yeah. It's, uh, doctor's orders. I have a sty.
Carl: (offscreen) He thinks it makes him look cool.
Major Monogram: No I don't.
Nick Fury: I'm going to proceed as if this were going really well. Agent P, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk and Spider-Man have lost their superpowers to a mysterious power-siphoning ray, which we believe originated somewhere in the Danville area. We fear a group of supervillains are closing in. We need you to monitor the situation and report back. (Monogram is now wearing eyepatches on both eyes.) Francis, I'm gonna need you—Now what are you doing?
Carl: (offscreen) He thinks two eyepatches make him look twice as cool.
Major Monogram: I don't know what you're talking about.
(Fury groans.)
(Cut to D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Welcome to my Hall of Inators. Ah, here's a good one. This-This was my Oatmeal-to-Porridge-inator. I know. It's a fine distinction. Don't get me started. And here's my Multi-Helio-Tactical-Baboon-Glom-inator. I-I-I think that one's self-explanatory. Oh, and, uh, here's my Waffle-inator, and the Junk-Mail-inator...
Red Skull: I do not understand. Zees machines are useless. What is wrong wis zis man?
Whiplash: Maybe he is a misunderstood genius.
Red Skull: Or maybe he is a perfectly understood idiot.
Doofenshmirtz: And, finally, my Disintegrator-inator. Pretty impressive, huh?
Red Skull: Vere is ze machine zat took away the powers of the heroes?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, my Power-Drain-inator! Ooh, that was a cool one! And it was...destroyed by my nemesis, Perry the Platypus. You just missed him.
Red Skull: Perry ze Platypus? Is he a super-soldier platypus?
Doofenshmirtz: No.
Venom: Was he bitten by a radioactive platypus?
Doofenshmirtz: No, he's, uh, just a regular crime-fighting platypus.
Red Skull: It is no matter! You will rebuild ze machine!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, so we're workin' together now! Great! I'll be the leader! I've always wanted an evil entourage.
Whiplash: Let's destroy him.
Red Skull: Nein. Let him think he is in charge. Ven he has exceeded his usefulness, ve vill give him to M.O.D.O.K. to destroy.
Whiplash: Hey, where is M.O.D.O.K.?
(Cut to reveal M.O.D.O.K. stuck behind the door.)
M.O.D.O.K.: D'oh! Curse you, Danville, town of small doors!
Doofenshmirtz: Listen, before I rebuild the machine, I've got some errands to run. You guys should come with. (Red Skull hisses) Is your head gonna burst into flames or am I thinking of somebody else?
(Cut to the backyard where Phineas and Ferb are standing before the superheroes and the rest of the gang in front of a small shed with the sign "S.H.E.D." on it.)
Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen...and Hulk, allow me to unveil our Secret Hideout for Emergency Defects. Or S.H.E.D. for short.
Iron Man: I think we're gonna need something a little...bigger.
Phineas: Oh, the rustic exterior's a facade. Wai till you see the inside!
(They go inside S.H.E.D. to reveal it is much larger on the inside.)
Iron Man: Oh, man! You guys are good!
Ferb: Just a little British sci-fi technology.
Thor: Iron Man, looks like someone raided your armory.
Phineas: Oh, you like that, huh? This is The Beak Suit Mark 2. We're still working on the waterproofing so we can't take it out in the rain.
Iron Man: You know, Stark Industries offers summer internships.
Phineas: Thanks, but this summer's pretty packed.
Iron Man: Apparently.
Phineas: (handing some cards to the gang and the superheroes) And these are your S.H.E.D. key card IDs. They'll get you into all areas of the compound.
Spider-Man: Ooh! And they're laminated!
(Song: "Free" (instrumental))
Candace: (entering with a comic book) Um, hi. Heh. Would you guys read my fan-fiction? It's a story where Thor and Hulk decide to learn ice skating and—
Spider-Man: I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to accept unsolicited material.
Isabella: Candace, I didn't know you were a fangirl.
Candace: Oh, sure. From way back. It started 'cause I had to do a lot of research to get up to speed for the Ducky Momo superhero crossover event.
(Cutaway to a Japanese promo.)
(Song: "J-Pop (Welcome to Tokyo)" (instrumental))
Japanese Announcer: Quack quack Ducky Momo-san Sūpāhīrō desu!
(End cutaway.)
Phineas: Okay, superheroes. We have to get to work building a device that will restore your powers.
Candace: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Hehehehehehehe!
(Cut to around Danville. Doofenshmirtz and the villains go around town to baroque pop music, such as jaywalking.)
(Song: "My Evil Buddies and Me")
♪ Steppin' out with my brand new crew, ♪
♪ Nobody's gonna tell us what we can't do ♪
♪ Or where we can go, or what we can see ♪
♪ In this town everyone will listen to me. ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
(Unnamed Pop Trio: ♪ Shoop doo be doo doop! ♪)
♪ Me and my evil friends! ♪
♪ (Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo!) ♪
♪ When we're off together wreaking havoc, ♪
♪ The fun just never ends. ♪
♪ We're stealin' coins from wishin' wells ♪
♪ We're cleanin' clocks and ringin' bells ♪
♪ We're a rovin' pack of ne'er-do-wells, you see, ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
♪ (Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo be doop! ♪
♪ Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo be doop!) ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
♪ My evil entourage! ♪
♪ If you see us out carousing, ♪
♪ You better stay in your garage. ♪
♪ We're perpetratin' misdemeanors, ♪
♪ We're stealin' bags from vacuum cleaners, ♪
♪ We're the jerks who stole all those wieners from that guy. ♪
♪ My evil buddies and I! ♪
♪ (Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo be doo! ♪
♪ Shoop doo be doo doop!) ♪
♪ My evil buddies and I! ♪
(Cut back to S.H.E.D.)
Phineas: Until we find out what happened to your actual powers, this machine should be able to replicate them temporarily. Everyone in position and we'll start calibration!
Candace: Let's get our hero on!
Phineas: Just a minute, Candace. We all set?
Ferb: All set. Just as soon as I—
Candace: Great! All set!
(Candace pushes the red button.)
Ferb: ...lock down the power assignments and reverse polarity.
Phineas: Candace, what did you do?!
Candace: Uh-oh.
(The machine begins to rumble and then explodes.)
Phineas: Are you guys okay?
Thor: By Odin's beard, I feel invigorated! (Jumps up high)
Candace: See? It worked! Hmm?
Phineas: Well, not exactly. Look.
(Cut to reveal Thor sticking to the ceiling a la Spidey.)
Thor: Something is not right.
(Cut to the Googolplex Mall. The villains go down the down escalator while Doofenshmirtz goes down the up escalator.)
Doofenshmirtz: Woo! Oh, boy, that was great! Hey, I've got an idea, let's go get some ice cream and spoil our dinner! I mean, who's gonna tell us no huh?
Whiplash: That's it! I've had it! We're wasting our time! (takes out his whips and whips a Ducky Momo kiosk) We need to bring the heroes to us!
(The kiosk smashes to pieces leaving several patrons to run for cover.)
Kiosk Girl: Well...
(Cut back to S.H.E.D.)
Phineas: Something's gone terribly wrong, Candace! You've swapped all their powers. (Cut to Thor wall crawling.) Obviously, Thor's got Spider-Man's powers. (Cut to Spidey lifting up something heavy.) Spider-Man got Hulk's powers.
Spider-Man: Yeah, I could get used to this!
Baljeet: I-I have a fear of heights. Could you please put us down?
Phineas: Iron Man must have Thor's powers.
Candace: Well, at least he can move now.
Phineas: Everyone has new superpowers except Hulk. He must have Iron Man's powers. But without the suit, there's not much there.
Hulk: I am feeling entrepreneurial.
Phineas: At least his vocabulary's improved.
Iron Man: So give me the hammer. What do I do? I just stick out my hand, right? Come on, baby, come to papa!
Thor: That is not how it works.
Iron Man: Whadaya mean? I got your powers.
Thor: Wielding Mjolnir is about worthiness, not power.
Iron Man: Really?
Thor: It's a fine distinction, but an important one.
Iron Man: Potato, potahto.
(pause)
Thor: I do not know what that means.
Iron Man: Okay, nevermind. What about the lightning? How do I control that?
Thor: Actually, that only works with the hammer.
Iron Man: What about flying? I've seen you fly.
Thor: Well, yes. But not without the—
Iron Man: Not without the hammer. Right.
Phineas: This is a disaster, Candace!
Candace: Look, it was an accident! But I can still help! I know that the villains will—
Phineas: No!!! You don't know!! The entire Tri-State Area, and, possibly, the world is at stake here! Honestly, Candace, if you don't know what you're doing, keep your hands off the machinery!
Candace: Well, then, maybe I should just leave!
Phineas: Yeah! Maybe you should!
(Candace exits sadly.)
(Cut to three television screens with the words "RELEVANT NEWS BROADCAST" on them.)
Gordon Gutsofanemu: Alert! Alert! Relevant news broadcast intercepted! (The gang and the heroes walk up to the TVs.) This just in: Disaster in Danville! Horse in a Bookcase is cancelled after a nineteeen-year run. Also, (Image of the Googolplex Mall appears on screen.) chaos at the Googolplex Mall! (Image of Venom, Whiplash and Red Skull in the mall appears on screen.) An evil entourage of three supervillains (file photo of Doof appears on screen) and what appears to be a pharmacist (image of M.O.D.O.K. appears on screen) and a giant chicken egg with a face are bustin' up the place somethin' fierce!
Thor: We are needed!
Phineas: But you can't! Your powers! They're not fixed yet! We just need more time.
Iron Man: I know, Phineas, but we're heroes. This is what we do.
(They leave.)
Phineas: Wait, can we help?
Iron Man: Not unless you can fly.
(Phineas and Ferb look aside. Cut to the Beak suit.)
Phineas: Well, it's not raining! (Fist bumps Ferb.)
(Cut to above the Tri-State Area. The Beak flies up taking the heroes with him.)
The Beak: Bacaw! Woohoo!!
(Cut to the Googolplex Mall, where the villains are causing all sorts of terror.)
Red Skull: This should get their attention. (Evil laughter)
(The heroes and the Beak appear in a crack in the mall.)
Spider-Man: Looks like somebody left the door open!
Iron Man: Alright, gang, it's showtime! Everybody ready?
Spider-Man: I feel pretty good.
Hulk: I'd feel better with a metal suit.
The Beak: Sorry, big guy, no time!
Iron Man: (pointing up) Look!
Red Skull: Ah, ze superheroes are here to save the day. But without your powers, zis is just a costume party. M.O.D.O.K., destroy them!
M.O.D.O.K.: Yes, I will take great pleasure in destroying these puny heroes!
Spider-Man: I got 'im, guys! Spider-Man smash!
(Spidey smashes through the roof of the Googolplex Mall while Linda is outside listening on her headphones oblivious)
Tour Guide: Looking to your left you'll see...
Spider-Man: Whoooa!!! Whoooooaaa!!
Hulk: Was he makin' fun of me?
Thor: A little, yes.
(Thor clings onto a part of the wall while Hulk roars. Hulk attempts to punch Venom but Venom gets the upper hand and throws him into Rogers Appliances store.)
Whiplash: They still have their powers!
Red Skull: Yes, but they are all mixed up! (He lifts Doofenshmirtz up by his lab coat) Zis your doing!??!
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, I don't remember making a Power-Switch-inator, but, uh, y'know, I make a lot of inators!
(Red Skull tosses Doof who crashes into some tables. M.O.D.O.K. blasts some beams towards Iron Man.)
Iron Man: Y'know, it'd be really nice right now to have the power to throw a hammer!
Thor: I told you it's not about power, it's about worthiness! (sigh) It's like talking to a Bilgesnipe.
(Whiplash wields his whips again.)
The Beak: Bacaw!
(Whiplash whips the Beak in two.)
M.O.D.O.K.: Hey, what's going on?!
(Pan down to reveal Thor carrying M.O.D.O.K.. He attempts to throw him, but cannot let go.)
Thor: I find myself in a sticky situation. Oh no, I've received Spider-Man's propensity for puns!
(Cut to Whiplash. Ferb kicks him with the legs. Phineas trips him with the body. Whiplash strikes the fountain electrocuting the suit.)
Phineas: Now I wish we'd prioritized the waterproofing.
(M.O.D.O.K., still stuck to Thor, blasts beams all over the mall, finally striking Iron Man. Hulk comes out wearing various appliances and pots and pans.)
Hulk: Now I'm Iron Man! (The real Iron Man crashes into the impostor. Spidey finally comes down to Earth crashing on an eyeglass kiosk.)
Spider-Man: Okay, that time, I overshot the mark. Oh, hey, Venom. What'd I miss? (Venom grabs Spidey, choking him.)
Phineas: Spider-Man, are you okay?
Spider-Man: Could be worse! At least Iron Man and Thor are... (Cut to M.O.D.O.K. harming Thor.) Well, at least Iron Man...
Iron Man: (tied up in Whiplash's whips) Sorry, gang. A little tied up at the moment.
Spider-Man: Okay, nevermind. It couldn't be worse!
Act III[]
(Open up on the Googolplex Mall.)
Stan Lee: (voiceover) Welcome back, faithful viewers! When last we left our handsome heroes, their fate hung in the balance in a cataclysmic cliffhanger.
Red Skull: Zis vas all too easy. The time for heroes is over. Now all will bow to us. Und nossing vill save you now.
(Cut up to reveal a mysterious shadowed figure coming down on a hoverboard into the destroyed glass ceiling. Closeup to reveal that it is in fact Agent P, now wearing a superhero costume and mask. Perry flies his hoverboard into M.O.D.O.K.. He steps on a pedal releasing some fog.)
Red Skull: (coughing) Stop him!
(Perry steps onto another pedal on the hoverboard and some ropes are released grabbing Phineas, Ferb, and the heroes. He lifts them up to safety.)
Spider-Man: Hey, Duck Guy, thanks for the rescue! (to Iron Man) Do we tip him?
Iron Man: He's not parking our car.
Spider-Man: I just don't know the etiquette.
Red Skull: Dah! Who vas that masked...beaver...duck?
M.O.D.O.K.: M.O.D.O.K. will exterminate all beaver-ducks!
Doofenshmirtz: Y'know, none of this would have happened if we had just gone for ice cream like I suggested!
(Cut to the backyard, where Perry lowers Phineas, Ferb, and the heroes by S.H.E.D.)
Thor: (to Agent P) Thank you, small but mighty friend!
Phineas: You know, he seemed vaguely familiar.
Spider-Man: Ya think that was Howard the Duck?
Iron Man: Time is of the essence. We've gotta—No, it wasn't Howard the Duck!
Spider-Man: What? I'm just sayin'.
Hulk: He did have a bill.
Iron Man: Anyway, we need to regroup and figure out a plan B.
Phineas: Right! Back to S.H.E.D.-quarters!
(Cut to inside S.H.E.D., where Isabella is reading a comic book, and Buford, Baljeet and Candace are busy building something.)
Phineas: Hi, guys!
Buford: So, how'd it go?
Iron Man: We got our butts handed to us. (to Spidey) How was Venom able to overpower you when you had Hulk's strength?
Spider-Man: I don't know. I'm...I'm not feeling it anymore.
Thor: Wait, let me try something. (runs to the wall and jumps up, but falls down.) I did not stick.
Phineas: I was afraid of that. The powers are not bonding with your cel structures.
Iron Man: Yes, my suit is getting heavier again. But at least having Thor's strength unlocked the joints so I could move.
Baljeet: Perhaps we can give you a recharge, but, of course, this time with the correct powers. We have been working on rebuilding the machine.
Candace: And I'm helping!
Phineas: (taking off the Beak's torso) You are?
Candace: I'm redeeming myself.
Baljeet: Yes, and we are almost done with the first component.
Buford: Hulk's gamma-ray concentration beam. Brawn first, right, big guy?
(Hulk hits his chest twice and points.)
Phineas: That's great!
Iron Man: So have you done a base level particle acceleration yet?
Baljeet: I was just about to.
Iron Man: It's really important to make sure you start with a base level.
Phineas: Oh, sure. Otherwise the gamma-rays would...
(During this conversation, Candace looks aside to see it is not plugged in.)
Candace: Wait, lemme get this for ya. (plugs it in)
Phineas: Whoa! Who plugged—
Baljeet: Uh...oh...
(The ray zaps Baljeet who turns green and hulks out.)
Hulkjeet: Baljeet smash!! (Smashes the machine to pieces and runs out crashing through the wall running by the Garcia-Shapiro house and jumping off.)
Candace: Wow. There's something you don't see every— (sees Phineas' über-ticked-off expression) What? What?
Phineas: Really, Candace? Do you have any idea what you just did?!
Candace: I was just trying to help.
Phineas: Well, your "help" this morning messed us up so badly, we came this close to being wiped out at the mall! I thought you would've learned your lesson!
Candace: But...but I—
Phineas: But, no! You show up again to help, and now Baljeet has been hulkified and is rampaging who knows where!! And we're back to square one with restoring the heroes' powers!
Candace: But...but—
Phineas: This is just too important, and we can't afford any more setbacks! (Takes off her lanyard) I'm revoking your S.H.E.D. card. (Tears up the card) You have to go, NOW.
(Candace walks away to sad piano music a la David Banner in The Incredible Hulk TV show.)
Buford: I've always told her: Don't ever make Phineas angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
(Candace looks back in guilt before walking out the door.)
Isabella: Oh no! Baljeet! We've gotta go after him!
Thor: Sadly, there is no time. Our mission lies elsewhere.
Isabella: Well, I'll go after him then.
Buford: Nah, nah. I'll go. You stay here, little girl, it might get ugly.
Isabella: What? You don't think I can handle ugly? I've been hangin' out with you all summer!
Buford: Sticks and stones!
(Cut to Perry flying above the Tri-State Area. His wristwatch communicator beeps.)
Nick Fury: Greetings, Agent P! S.H.I.E.L.D. has gotten intel that the supervillains are holed up in downtown Danville in an oddly-shaped building with its own jingle. We need you to find out what they're up to!
(Perry's other wristwatch communicator beeps.)
Major Monogram: (now sporting an eyepatch and a goatee like Fury) And neutralize them if possible, Agent P!
Nick Fury: Monogram! Seriously, the beard, too?!
Major Monogram: You're not the only one who can rock an awesome face mullet, Fury!
(Perry flies to D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: (standing in front of an inator) And see, it takes four orbs of mundanium finite to power it. I-It would only take one orb of Pizzazium Infinionite but that's so hard to find. Oh, don't get me started! So we just lock the module in here and...Viola! Yeah, I know, it's a large violin. I-I don't know why people say that. Anyhoo, what did you guys need a second Power-Drain-inator for?
Red Skull: So we won't have to deal vit your idiocy anymore! (Takes out a remote and traps Doof in a cage.)
Doofenshmirtz: Wait, that's not nice! I-I thought we were buds! We were amigos! We had...We had a song and everything!
Red Skull: Your little musical interlude vas a pleasant diwersion at best! You see, ve're not going to take over ze Tri-State Area. We are going to completely destroy it and show vat vill happen if anyone attempts to swart our plan!
Doofenshmirtz: Did you just say, "Swart our plan"?
Red Skull: No. Swart! Sw- Vit a T-H! Swart!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, "thwart"! Yeah, it makes more sense. I'm thinking maybe you should go see a speech pathologist or a-a-a dialect coach or someth—
Red Skull: SILENCE!!! Vunce ve've made our point, we will use our contraption to draw avay ze powers of all ze superheroes on ze planet! And take over ze world!
Doofenshmirtz: Wow, you guys really think big!
Red Skull: But first, Venom, squash our little fly on ze ceiling!
(Venom stretches his arm out and Perry dodges it. He attempts to sneak away on the pipe, but Whiplash whips it. Perry holds onto it, but Venom grabs him and he gets trapped...again.)
Red Skull: Now we go and send a little message to our handicapped heroes. Come! Schnell!
Doofenshmirtz: (to Perry) You're not very good at thwarting. I...I should hook you up with my nemesis Perry the Platypus for some pointers. It's an art form for him.
(Cut to another part of Danville. Hulkjeet crashes into the pavement and roars, picking up a tiny car, emptying it with thousands of clowns, and throws the car into a building.)
Hulkjeet: BALJEET SMASH!!!
(He smashes the road and roars, and dives into the crack, picking up a subway train and lifting it. Pan to Linda still on her walking tour.)
Tour Guide: The courtyard also features a statue of Franz the Elephant.
(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Cut to Candace's bedroom where she is lying down in sorrow. Isabella is standing next to her.)
Isabella: (sadly) Hey, Candace. What'cha doin'?
Candace: Just laying here. Utterly dejected.
Isabella: I hear you. None of the women superheroes showed up, so it's all about testosterone and...powers and...fighting, which... (shrugs) yeah.
Candace: I was only trying to help but all I did was mess things up. (sigh) I'm useless.
Isabella: I know exactly how you feel.
(Song: "Only Trying To Help")
♪ Well, it's all about the boys ♪
♪ Playing with their macho toys ♪
♪ And they're making so much noise ♪
♪ I didn't really want to shout. ♪
Candace: ♪ My presence felt like an intrusion, ♪
♪ Causing way too much confusion. ♪
♪ Now I've been sent into seclusion, ♪
♪ I've been banished and cast out. ♪
Candace and Isabella: (in harmony) ♪ I'm not tryin' to place the blame, ♪
♪ But I feel it just the same. ♪
♪ That we could be, yes, we should be ♪
♪ In the game. ♪
♪ My spirit's feelin' daunted, ♪
♪ I'm not sure I'm all that wanted ♪
♪ Though I'm acting nonchalant it's clear ♪
♪ I'm starting to doubt myself. ♪
♪ Don't want to sound too stoic. ♪
♪ I'm not feeling that heroic. ♪
♪ No matter what I do I blow it ♪
♪ And I'm only trying to help. ♪
(By this point, the girls walk downstairs up to the screen door where it looks like it is raining.)
♪ Only trying to help. ♪
♪ Only trying to help. ♪
|
Candace: |
Isabella: |
Candace: ♪ Only trying to help. ♪
Isabella: ...trying to help, Phineas.
Lawrence: Hello, girls. (Wide shot to reveal the "rain" is actually the sprinkler.) Don't mind me. Just givin' the lawn a bit of a drink. (turns it off) It's off now.
(Cut back to Hulkjeet. Buford approaches him.)
Buford: Hey, Baljeet! (Hulkjeet roars and picks Buford up by the shirt.) Heh heh heh...heh...I'm so happy that I found you! I worry about you, you know. Because...you're my best friend.
(Hulkjeet dehulks back into his normal self.)
Baljeet: Ah. Thanks, Buford. I did not like being an angry monster.
Buford: I'm glad. Because you weren't very good at it anyway!!
Baljeet: Really? I think I was actually quite terrifying.
Buford: Oh, come on! You're totally green! (No pun intended.) For example, when you grab somebody's shirt (grabs Baljeet's shirt) and lift 'em up...
Baljeet: Hey!
Buford: ...ya gotta twist it first! (demonstrates) And you yell REALLY LOUD!!!
(Baljeet hulks out again.)
Hulkjeet: (roars and lifts Buford back up) DO NOT YELL AT BALJEET LIKE THAT!!! (throws Buford and roars and runs)
(Buford lands on a conveniently placed pillow. Zoom out to reveal he landed in Ultra-Soft Bedding Warehaüs.)
Buford: Okay, the throwin' was good! But when you grabbed my shirt, you didn't twist!! I swear, it's like in one ear and right out the other! Oh, oh! Baljeet, wait up! (goes after him)
(Cut to Danville City Hall where a giant crowd of people is seeing the supervillains make an announcement.)
Red Skull: Citizens of Danville and ze surrounding Tri-State Area, prepare for your imminent end! Unless Iron Man, Spider-Man, Zor and Hulk show up to face us, we will unleash a device a zousand times vorse zan ze von zat hit zem! (pointing to the device behind him) Thanks to M.O.D.O.K.'s modifications, our Power-Drain-inator doesn't merely drain power. It drains energy, matter, everything the target vas! (presses a button) Observe.
(The inator activates. Cut to another part of Danville where the Excelsior! hot dog vendor from New York is giving a hot dog. The inator beam blasts and makes the stand disappear.)
Hot Dog Vendor: Aw, man! And I just moved here from New York, cuz I thought it would be safer!
(Cut to S.H.E.D. where Phineas and Ferb are repairing the Beak suit. Red Skull's image appears on a TV laughing evilly.)
Phineas: Uh, guys, you'd better come see this.
Red Skull: So, heroes, eizer you come down here and face us, or ve vill unleash zis veapon on ze entire Tri-State Area! (Laughs evilly)
Thor: Ah! The fiend!
Spider-Man: I actually missed a lot of that with the accent, but I got that it's bad.
Phineas: Oh, man. What're we gonna do?
Thor: What we have to.
Phineas: But you have no powers.
Iron Man: That doesn't matter. We've gotta fight back with whatever we've got left.
Thor: Being a hero isn't the armor you wear. But the metal in your spirit and the steel in your resolve.
(The heroes walk out the hole in the wall Hulkjeet left.)
Spider-Man: Man, that was eloquent. All I ever do is quips. Like this one, for instance. And the one preceding it.
Iron Man: Can we please not kill the gravitas of this moment?
Spider-Man: Sorry.
Act IV[]
(Open up where we last left Phineas and Ferb, still fixing up the suit.)
Phineas: Man! We've got a lot to do if we're gonna get this suit back online. I think we can get 60% function back if we reroute the power flow through the backup circuits.
(Cut to outside S.H.E.D. Candace and Isabella walk up to the door.)
Candace: Maybe if I just go in and apologize one more time they'll forgive me. I have a stomachache, I feel so bad.
Isabella: They're your brothers. They'll listen.
(Cut back to inside where the girls approach the boys.)
Candace: Phineas, look, I'm sorry.
Phineas: How did you get in? I thought I revoked your S.H.E.D. ID.
Candace: Isabella gave me her guest pass.
Phineas: Fine, but...don't touch anything.
Candace: Ferb, you've gotta listen to me!
Phineas: (to Ferb) The shoulder joint's ready. (climbing down the ladder) Excuse me, Candace.
Candace: Phineas, can't you stop and listen?
Phineas: Candace, you don't understand! The guys are in trouble! If we can't get downtown to help them, this may be their final battle!
(Ferb gives Phineas the arm and they climb up the ladder.)
(Cut to Downtown Danville, where the villains are all waiting.)
Whiplash: The heroes are not coming!
Red Skull: Oh, don't worry. They'll come.
M.O.D.O.K.: My sensors tell me the heroes are approaching.
(A bus arrives and stops at its designated stop.)
Red Skull: Perfect! Zey're on ze bus!
(The villains approach the bus. The doors open and a little old lady exits with her walker.)
Little Old Lady: Outta my way, you weirdos! It's worse than Portland!
(The heroes all come out of the bus. Hulk roars and attempts to punch Venom, but Venom attacks Hulk. Thor tries to come after Venom, but he grabs Thor, trapping him against the bus. M.O.D.O.K. beams Spidey into a mindball.)
Spider-Man: A mindball? Really? Hey, M.O.D.O.K., can you feel it in your brain when I go like this? (rubs his hands against the ball)
Red Skull: Ve have zem now!
Whiplash: What about old lady?
Red Skull: Eh? Oh, she is not—She is not vis zem!
(Cut to D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: (to Perry) So you're a superhero, huh? Don't you have some sort of power to get us out of this? (Perry pushes a button on his utility belt) Hey...Oh, wow! You've got...super wire cutters, huh? What, were they nail clippers that got bitten by radioactive pinching shears?
(Cut back to S.H.E.D.)
Phineas: (sitting in the Beak suit) We've only got half the server motors on the right side online.
Candace: This isn't funny, guys! You can't go! It's not safe!
Isabella: Phineas!
Phineas: Don't worry, Isabella. Initiate launching sequence, Ferb. (The rocket jets appear from the butt, but one goes back in.)
Isabella: Phineas, you've only got one butt jet!
Phineas: Well, that'll have to do. Bacaw! (launches)
Candace: Phineas!
The Beak: (flying all willy-nilly) Whoa! Whoa!
(Cut back to downtown Danville)
Red Skull: (to Iron Man) Pasetic! Look at how you've vasted your lives! Protecting zees humans, who are so qvick to abandon you in your hour of need!
(Whiplash throws Iron Man into the sky.)
Red Skull: Vhiplash!
Whiplash: What?
Red Skull: I vas talking to him!
Whiplash: Sorry.
Red Skull: Look around you! Now zat you have no powers, you have no friends, no allies, you have nussing!
(Hulkjeet arrives to save Iron Man.)
Iron Man: We have a Baljeet.
Hulkjeet: Hulkjeet.
Iron Man: Oh, my bad. Apparently he prefers to be known as "Hulkjeet". (The Beak arrives.) And this thing.
The Beak: Bacaw!
Iron Man: If it's a bird, it's with us, too. (Agent P flies in) The flying duck with a beaver tail. We got him! (Waffles fall from the sky) But I gotta level with ya, I have no idea who's shooting waffles.
(Cut to D.E.I. to reveal Doofenshmirtz firing waffles from his Waffle-inator.)
Doofenshmirtz: Woo-hoo! Top of the world, Ma!
Spider-Man: Yo, Red, (holding the orbs) is this doohickey important?
Red Skull: Ze mundanium finite reactor core!
Spider-Man: Huh. I guess it is important. (runs off)
Red Skull: Go get him! I shall guard ze inator! (gets waffled)
(Cut to the park. Spidey runs off with the reactor. Venom crashes into some springy kiddie rides. Whiplash attempts to attack him, but hits an umbrella. Spidey almost gets crushed but gets saved by Hulkjeet.)
Spider-Man: Thanks, Baljeet!
Hulkjeet: Hulkjeet!
(M.O.D.O.K. crashes through the umbrella. Perry crashes into M.O.D.O.K.. Venom goes after Spidey, but the Beak blocks him.)
The Beak: Bacaw!
Spider-Man: Woo!
(Whiplash goes after Spidey, but Hulkjeet smashes him and roars.)
(Cut back to Candace and Isabella as we left them.)
Candace: (pacing back and forth) There's one thing I don't understand about the lost superpowers. In all the comics I've read, energy can never be destroyed. Only morphed into a different form or contained somehow.
Isabella: Candace, when we were up at the space station, we were collecting and containing data.
Candace: You were up in what?
Isabella: Come on!
(Cut to the backyard.)
Isabella: Have a seat.
Candace: What are you talking about?
Isabella: Just go with it.
(They sit down on the ground and the module from the beginning of the episode reappears.)
Candace: Oh, that's where this thing was!
(Cut back to the battle. Spidey is still running with the reactor core. He gets saved by Iron Man driving a golf cart.)
Spider-Man: Fast cart!
Iron Man: Yeah, I souped it up!
Spider-Man: (gives Iron Man the reactor core) Here! Hold this! (goes to the back and gets the caddy bag) You mind if I play through? (Unzips the front pocket emptying it of all the tees. Whiplash slips on the tees. Spidey gets out a club with dog-shaped cover on it and throws the caddy bag at Venom.) Go get 'im, boy! (Throws the club at M.O.D.O.K..) Good dog!
(Red Skull walks up, but is startled by Buford in a bear suit holding a fish.)
Bear Boy: Beware Bear Boy! (slaps the fish at Red Skull)
(Hulk and Thor approach two little kids.)
Hulk: Now you kids stay back! Hmm?
(Hulk and Thor look at the bike and skateboard the kids have with them.)
(Cut to the space station.)
Candace: You don't think it's weird the space station looks like Phineas?
Isabella: If by "weird" you mean "dreamy".
Candace: Oh, brother.
Isabella: Look! The collection tank! There's something glowing in there! It's gotta be the powers!
Candace: (looking through a telescope) Looks like the fight's begun! Now make the powers blast out...down there and stuff.
Isabella: I don't know how to do that!
Candace: Whadaya mean? Didn't Phineas explain how to—
Isabella: Yeah. It was like, "Isabella...blah blah blah blah blah...Isabella...blah blah blah blah blah..." He was dressed like an astronaut! I was distracted!
(Cut back to the battle. Spidey and Iron Man hit M.O.D.O.K. with their golf cart. Whiplash whips it in two. Iron Man gets surrounded by the villains. Hulk, now riding the kid's bike, grabs the reactor core from Iron Man. Thor appears on the other kid's skateboard. Hulk throws the reactor core. Whiplash is about to intercept but gets slapped by Bear Boy's fish. Thor catches the reactor core. M.O.D.O.K. attempts to zap Thor. He retrieves the reactor core, but gets waffled. Spidey attempts to catch the reactor core, but Whiplash whips it. The Beak finally catches it. However, Red Skull tugs on it. It falls apart.)
Red Skull: Ze mundanium finite! (to Venom) Get zose orbs!
(Venom slashes the Beak's torso and Ferb pops out. The heroes and the gang chase after it. Cut to Doofenshmirtz.)
Doofenshmirtz: Ooh, these waffles aren't enough. I...I wish I could just disintegrate them all. (gasp) Oh, right! The Disintegrator-inator! Duh! (switches it on, nothing happens) I don't know what I was—Hey! (flips the switch up and down) Hey, what's wrong? Hmmm. (picks up the unplugged plug) Oh, here's the problem. (He walks up to an extension cord outlet, but the plug is too short.) Okay, I just need an extension cord this long. (Runs off.)
(Cut back to the space station.)
Candace: Isabella, (points to a big red button) I think this is the button that will release the superpowers!
Isabella: How can you tell?
Candace: Well, it's red, see? And there's some red detailing on that collector thing, so it's gotta be it.
Isabella: That's a very irrational and reckless deduction.
Candace: No, Isabella! I've failed twice already so third time's a charm!
(Isabella gasps loudly as Candace pushes the button. An alarm goes off.)
Computer: System shutting down.
Candace: Uh-oh.
Computer: Anti-gravitational jets disabled.
Isabella: Candace!
Computer: Orbit decaying.
Candace: We're falling back to Earth!
Computer: Fuel systems immobilized. Social network friends...defriended.
Candace: Oh, now that's just mean!
Act V[]
(Open up on D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, this long. This long, lessee. (gets out a few extension cords) Too short. Too short. Too long. Way too short! Why would I even have this?!
(Cut to Linda on her tour.)
Tour Guide: If you look to your left, you will see the J.P. McHenry Building, built in the art deco style. (Behind her, the battle still rages on.) And on your right is Danville's oldest arcade, built in 1982.
(Cut back to the battle. One of the orbs is on a fountain. Spider-Man attempts to reach to it, as do Venom and M.O.D.O.K.. They are smashed by Hulkjeet. The Beak catches the orb, but Whiplash takes out the arm that holds it, ripping it off and causing a fire.)
The Beak: Talk about being disarmed.
(Ferb extinguishes the flames. Cut to Whiplash taking the orb from the arm's grip. The Beak runs after him, but the suit falls apart.)
The Beak: That's not good.
(Cut to another orb rolling on the ground. Venom goes after it, but Bear Boy's fish swallows it.)
Hulk: Hey! Over here!
(Bear Boy throws the orb to Hulk, but Venom intercepts it. Perry and Thor carry the other orbs, but get zapped by M.O.D.O.K.. The villains put the orbs back into the reactor core.)
Red Skull: Enough of zis foolishness! (Places the reactor core back into the inator) Our triumph is at hand! (The inator activates.) And now, behold, ze destruction of ze entire Tri-State—
(The space station crashes into the villains and the inator.)
Phineas: Hey, Ferb, is that our space station?
(The "mouth" opens to reveal Candace and Isabella, with Candace's foot on the tank.)
Candace: Yo, heroes, got a little somethin' for ya! (rolls down the tank)
Phineas: Candace! The data collection tank! Of course!
Spider-Man: Great job! Somebody's using their spider sense.
Candace: I learned from the best, Spidey!
(M.O.D.O.K.'s mindball squeezes the villains out from under the wreckage.)
Red Skull: Get up! Get zem, you fools!!
(Phineas and Ferb activate the tank. A spout appears out of one end of it and zaps the heroes.)
(Song: "Feelin' Super")
♪ Feelin' super, super, ♪
♪ Oh, you know I'm feelin' super, super, ♪
♪ Uh, I'm always feelin' super, super! ♪
♪ Ya gotta take a step back! ♪
♪ I'm feelin' super, super, ♪
♪ Oh, you know I'm feelin' super, super, ♪
♪ Uh, I'm always feelin' super, super! ♪
♪ I run so fast I got a speedin' ticket from a state trooper! ♪
Thor: Hmm.
(After the heroes get zapped, Iron Man finally jets up, Spidey web slings, Hulk smashes the tank, and Thor reaches out his hand to retrieves Mjolnir, which, by this time, is completely covered in parking tickets.)
Thor: (shakes the tickets off to reveal a parking boot on the hammer) Oh, for crying out loud! (He tears the boot off and reaches the hammer out. Candace smiles and touches Mjolnir and giggles giddily.)
Candace: Hee-hee-hee-hee!
Red Skull: (growls) I zink perhaps our window of opportunity has closed.
Phineas: Well, Iron Man, looks like you're functioning at full capacity.
Iron Man: Yep. Why don't you kids take five? Enjoy the show.
Ferb: Oh, this is going to be sweet.
Phineas: Yeah it is!
(Song: "Feeling Froggy")
(Hulk roars, and we see an Avengers-style revolving camera shot of all the heroes, including Agent P.)
♪ Oh yeah!! ♪
(Cut to the gang sitting on the step of a gazebo eating popcorn. Hulkjeet dehulks back to his old self.)
Buford: Better?
(Cut back to the battle.)
♪ What are you lookin' at? ♪
♪You think you're kinda bad? ♪
♪I know you're thinkin' that you wanna try to knock me down. ♪
♪ Well, go on, punk, and bring it! ♪
♪ Just throw it down and wing it. ♪
♪ Got somethin' heavy? Swing it! ♪
♪ Gonna try and knock me down. ♪
♪ You think you gotta hand, ya better play it, ♪
♪ But don't be surprised if you pull back a stump. ♪
♪That chip on your shoulder, I think ya better weigh it, ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm just gonna say it! ♪
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
(Hulk jumps onto the space station and tears out the satellite and smashes Venom and Whiplash with it and roars.)
Phineas: Hey, Hulk, that's using my head!
Baljeet: Nice!
Phineas: (high fives Ferb) Wordplay!
♪ Just jump! ♪
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
♪ You think you've got the stuff? ♪
♪ You think you're tough enough? ♪
♪ Then just roll up your cuff and come and try to knock me down! ♪
♪ You think you wanna dance? ♪
♪ Come on and take a chance! ♪
(Thor wields lightning from Mjolnir, raising Candace and Isabella's hair.)
Candace: Huh? Thor!
♪ Not worth a second glance, you wanna try to knock me down! ♪
♪ So just say you're all in and let the chips fall ♪
♪ And then we can find out who's the real chump. ♪
♪ If you think I'm gonna fold, then you could win it all ♪
♪ Then I'm gonna call ♪
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
Phineas: (to Candace) Hey.
Candace: Hey.
Phineas: So earlier, I really lost it. Uh, I'm sorry.
Candace: No, I'm sorry. I deserved it. Everything I did made things worse.
Phineas: It's okay. You were trying to help. And hello! You guys saved the day!
Candace: Thanks!
Phineas: (taking out the repaired S.H.E.D. ID) So will you take your S.H.E.D. membership card back? I fixed it.
Candace: (takes it) I accept.
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
♪ Come on! ♪
♪ If you're feelin' froggy, just jump! ♪
(By the end of the song and the battle, Iron Man and Hulk sign photos to Major Monogram and Carl respectively and hand them to Perry, who smiles and gives a thumbs up.)
Candace: What? (she sees her mother walking by the wreckage) Is that Mom? You know I love you guys and I'm super glad we made up, but would you look at this place? Sorry, but you are SO BUSTED!! Mom! (And there she goes again.)
(After Candace leaves, the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier flies in and lowers the Quinjet. Fury emerges from the aircraft. The heroes approach him with the tied up villains.)
Nick Fury: Toss 'em in! Nice work, kids! You didn't just get back our heroes' powers. You showed true courage fighting alongside them! (renders a hand salute) S.H.I.E.L.D. owes you a debt of gratitude. (Phineas and Ferb return the salute.)
Hot Dog Vendor: Yeah! Hot dogs for everyone, baby!
(Cut to Linda on her tour.)
Tour Guide: Three years later when the new day care center was built on top of the ancient burial ground...
Candace: Mom! Mom Mom Mom! You gotta come back to the square!! The boys' space satellite crashed down to Earth and these villains had a machine that would destroy the Tri-State Area and there's superheroes!! All in the square!! You gotta see it!
Linda: I'm surprised that's not on the tour.
Candace: No time for sarcasm, Mom! (grabs her) Come on!!
(Cut back to the square where Iron Man gives Ferb a card.)
Iron Man: Here's my direct line, Ferb. Internship, next summer? It'll be fun.
(Ferb points, winks, and clicks his tongue.)
Spider-Man: Next time, Phin, the juice box'll be my treat. (web slings away)
Phineas: You got it, Spidey!
(Hulk growls at Baljeet and holds out his fist.)
Baljeet: Uh, okay. (fist bumps Hulk)
Hulk: Ow! Hmm. Ha ha! Gotcha!
(The heroes all go into the Quinjet as Thor brings lightning to Mjolnir once more. Buford waves his fish in the air. The Helicarrier and Quinjet take off as the heroes wave goodbye to the gang.)
(Cut back to D.E.I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Uh. Finally found an extension cord the right size! (plugs in the inator) Take that, bad guys! (The inator zaps the space station away and Candace appears just as it disappears.)
Candace: ...giant head shaped like Phineas and superheroes! But...but...but...
Linda: Oh, yes. There they are. (zoom out to reveal a comic book stand full of Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor, Iron Man and Ducky Momo comics)
Candace: Wha?
Linda: Hulk, Iron Man, Thor. All of them. I forgot you had a thing for comic books.
Candace: But but...This isn't how..Wait, where did...
Linda: You wanna join me for the rest of the tour?
Candace: No, I'd rather stay here and sulk.
(Linda turns the audio tour back on and resumes her tour.)
(Cut back to Doofenshmirtz.)
Doofenshmirtz: I did it! Did anyone see that? Anyone? Anyone? No one's lookin'. Nobody's payin' attention.
End Credits[]
(Open up on the gang in the square.)
Phineas: Hey! There goes that unknown superhero! (The gang approach Agent P.) You were pretty awesome out there!
Buford: Yeah, and what's your secret identity?
Phineas: Buford, a hero never reveals their secret identity.
Buford: Sure they do! Watch!
(Buford takes the mask off to reveal:)
Everyone: Ducky Momo?!?
Candace: Ducky Momo?!?! (sighs and faints into Isabella's arms)
(Ducky Momo flies away.)
Ferb: That's strange. I was convinced that he was an anthropomorphic platypus. Huh. What with the beaver tail and all.
(Perry walks into frame.)
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry! You missed all the fun!
(Candace Flynn gets up. The gang walks home. Cut to a trash can revealing both Agent P's superhero suit and a Ducky Momo mask in it.)
Part 1[]
(as seen on Netflix and Disney+)
(Song: "My Evil Buddies and Me")
♪ When we're off together wreaking havoc, ♪
♪ The fun just never ends. ♪
♪ We're steain' coins from wishin' wells ♪
♪ We're cleanin' clocks and ringin' bells ♪
♪ We're a rovin' pack of ne'er-do-wells, you see, ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
♪ (Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo be doop! ♪
♪ Shoop doo be doo) ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
♪ (Shoop doo be doo doop doop doo be doop! ♪
♪ Shoop doo be doo doop) ♪
♪ My evil buddies and me! ♪
| Previous: "Where's Pinky?" |
Episode transcripts | Next: "Thanks But No Thanks" |