(Scene opens on the Flynn-Fletcher house at night.)
Baljeet: Thank you, Phineas.
(Cut to the dining room. The gang is gathered around the table in their pajamas.)
Baljeet: In researching for my very first slumber party, in which I am so excited to stay up past my regular bedtime of 9:30 p.m...
Buford: You'll never make it!
Baljeet: (getting out a binder) ...I present to you the ultimate sleepover checklist! Movies, a pillow fight, ice cream sundae bar, some mores (s'mores)...
Buford: No, no, no, no, no! Ya gotta have pranks! Prank calls, Prank Sinatra, prank hand in warm water, stuff like that.
(Candace approaches the gang.)
Candace: All right, I am not dealing with you guys tonight. Stacy and Vanessa are on their way over and we're having our own sleepover with our own activities. Besides, you already built your wacky doohickey, (points to Mom) which you missed!
Linda: Huh?
Candace: So I am officially off doohickey duty.
(The doorbell rings. Candace gets the door and greets Vanessa and Stacy. Candace and Stacy scream at each other.)
Vanessa: 'Sup?
Candace: (hugs Vanessa) I'm so glad you could come!
Vanessa: Me, too! Well, my dad was also driving me nuts.
(Cutaway to Doof's kitchen. Doof is slamming a cabinet door while Vanessa is looking at her phone.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, Vanessa! Vanessa! Hey, Vanessa! Vanessa! It's "Jingle Bells"! Listen!
(Doof slams the cabinet doors to the rhythm of "Jingle Bells", but we only get so far as "Jingle all...")
Vanessa: (sighs)
(Cut back to Vanessa and Candace.)
Vanessa: Yeah, so glad to be here.
(Stacy approaches the gang.)
Stacy: Ooh, this looks fun!
Candace: (to Vanessa) You remember my brothers?
Vanessa: Yeah. Hey, guys!
Phineas: Hey!
Candace: (to Stacy) Oh, don't talk to the tiny ones. (pulls Stacy away and pushes her and Vanessa upstairs.) Upstairs for some real fun!
Linda: Okay. (yawn) There's snacks in the sink and dishes in the fridge. I'm just gonna have some chamomile tea, which knocks me out. (goes upstairs with her teacup) So you guys have fun.
Phineas: Gentlemen and lady, start your slumbers!
(The gang disperses except...)
Isabella: Hey, where's Perry?
(Cut to Perry sleeping by the fireplace.)
Isabella: Oh, there you are. 'Night, Perry!
(Brahms' Lullaby plays while we zoom in on the sleeping platypus. His watch beeps, and he wakes up and puts on his hat, presses a brick on the mantle and activates the flue entrance, which takes him straight to his car on the roof. Monogram appears on his car's monitor.)
Major Monogram: Agent P, we're gonna need you to pull an all-night stakeout over at Doof's.
Carl: Where should I put the chips and dip, sir?
Major Monogram: The only dip here is you, Carl. Sorry, Agent P. Tonight's the finale of Acquaintances.
♪ Acquaintances ♪
♪ They're really not that close! ♪
Major Monogram: Having a little watch party. I'm so excited to find out what happens to Antonio or that conventionally handsome Ryan.
(Cut to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
Major Monogram: Anyhoo, I'm sure you're seeing that giant megaphone there on Doof's balcony. He hasn't done anything with it all day, which is odd, as he—
(Doof looks out his window.)
Doofenshmirtz: Is this a stakeout, Perry the Platypus? I-I see you. Just come up. We'll have a stake-in. Come on in. Come on up.
Major Monogram: Oops! Byeeeeeeee! (Hangs up)
(Cut to Doof's living room.)
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. Come on in, take a seat. I'm just looking for the right... CHANNEL!! (laughs)
(Doof pushed a button on his remote and the chair's arms trap Perry.)
Doofenshmirtz: Now that you're nice and comfy, I can prattle on about my improbable pet peeve.
(Flashback.)
Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) Every day, when I go downstairs to get my mail, my neighbor, Tyler, is down there spoiling the ending of every show to my other neighbors.
Tyler: ...and then you find out he was faking his coma!
Neighbor: Hey! I haven't seen that episode yet!
Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) And now he's getting a rep as the most evil guy in our building!
(Cut back to present. Doof is popping some popcorn.)
Doofenshmirtz: A title that should rightly go to me! It's my name on the sign! It's my name up there! So it got me thinking, if he's the most evil by spoiling things to people in the building, what if I spoiled things to the entire Tri-State Area? Y'see, tonight is the two-hour finale of a very popular show, Acquaintances.
♪ Acquaintances ♪
♪ They mostly just make small talk. ♪
Doofenshmirtz: Norm figured out how to get the Drusselsteinian VPN feed so I can watch it early. I'll find out the ending and then I'll go over to that giant megaphone and yell out all the spoilers to everyone! Who's the evil one now, Tyler? I know what you're thinking: How I, a middle-aged man who's never made it through an entire movie without falling asleep and who also coincidentally just ate a full turkey dinner, how am I going to stay awake for a two-hour show? Well, well, behold! The awake-inator! It will sense me dozing and zap me awake. Settle in, the show's starting!
(Doof turns on the TV and munches some popcorn.)
Doofenshmirtz: So are you team Ryan or team Antonio?
(Cut to the backyard.)
Baljeet: Okay, first item on the checklist is to watch a scary movie.
Phineas: Well, good thing we've got the ultimate movie-watching experience!
(Ferb activates an electronic inflater and what resembles a giant inflatable igloo emerges.)
Phineas: Ferb-vision! I know earlier we built one of our most amazing inventions ever.
Buford: We were all here. You don't hafta describe it.
Phineas: You're right, but then Ferb threw this together before dinner.
Isabella: It's a twofer!
(The gang go inside.)
Phineas: Inside the climate-controlled dome are comfy cantilevered seats, which react to what's going on in the movie.
(The greasy grievance girl from the basement scares the couple on screen, and the seats spring up at the jumpscare.)
Baljeet: (snores)
Buford: Baljeet!!
Baljeet: (jolts awake) I am awake! I am awake!
Phineas: The best part, the base is made entirely of kettle corn, and it's constantly popping, so you can catch it in midair!
(Ferb does just that.)
Phineas: Okay, grab your movie goggles, everyone!
(The gang excitedly grab some goggles. Cut to outside the dome and pan left on Candace's bedroom window.)
(Cut to Candace's room.)
Candace: I am so excited for some solid girl time with you guys tonight! I thought we could enjoy this charcuterie board, then play truth-or-dare, then watch a movie on my laptop!
Stacy: (looking out the window, sees the dome outside) Uh, maybe don't look outside, Candace.
Candace: What?! They're doing a twofer?!? Ugh! I'm getting Mom!
Vanessa: C'mon, Candace, there's like a million other things we can do tonight besides busting your brothers. We can do anything! Well, anything but sleep.
(Song: No Sleepin' at a Slumber Party)
♪ We could curl your hair, stay up and play truth or dare ♪
Stacy: Dress up in cloaks and monster masks, to give your brothers a scare!
Phineas: ♪ We can watch foreign dramas, in our footie pajamas ♪
Baljeet: ♪ There will be no counting sheep tonight! ♪
Buford: Okay, but what about llamas?
All: ♪ 'Cause there ain't no sleepin' at a slumber party, ♪
♪ We're up til the morning light, ♪
♪ Because there ain't no sleepin' at a slumber party, ♪
♪ There ain't no sleeping tonight! ♪
'Ferb: The popcorn is poppin
Isabella: ♪ And the sound system's boppin' ♪
Candace: Did you hear what Jeremy said?
Stacy: Buford, stop eavesdropping!
Vanessa: ♪ Playing light as a feather, perform a seance together ♪
Ooh, we can confess our deepest darkest secrets and emotions! Or whatever!
All: ♪ Because there ain't no sleepin' at a slumber party, ♪
♪ There ain't no sleeping tonight! ♪
Doofenshmirtz: There's so much at stake,
I gotta stay awake... OW!
I'm just resting my eyes!
Come on! It's the commercial break!
Candace, Vanessa and Stacy: ♪ 'Cause at the end of the day, it's always taken away, ♪
♪ Disappeared, gone, out of sight! ♪
Candace: ♪ A second invention means a second chance, ♪
♪ To bust the boys, gonna get it right! Get it right! ♪
All: ♪ 'Cause there ain't no sleepin' at a slumber party, ♪
♪ We're up til the morning light, ♪
♪ Because there ain't no sleepin' at a slumber party... ♪
Candace: ♪ That means I have all night...♪ to bust!
Stacy: Wow, Candace, you didn't really take anything away from that, did you?
(Cut back to the gang watching the scary movie.)
Buford: (to Baljeet) Okay, Sleepmaster General, it's 9:29. Hand over the skin-safe nontoxic markers so I can draw on your face when you fall asleep.
Baljeet: I am insulted! I will have you know that I... (falls asleep and snores)
Buford: Knew it! Prime for drawin'! (gasps) Even better, maybe I can borrow some makeup from Candace!
(Rotate wipe back to D.E.I. The inator zaps Doof awake. He dozes off and the inator zaps him again.)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, what'd I miss? Anything spoilery?
Woman on TV: Antonio, how could you do that terrible thing I don't need to describe?
Doofenshmirtz: Wait, who's this guy? Who's the guy with the mustache?
(Cut back to Candace's room.)
Candace: Okay, Stacy, truth or dare?
Stacy: Uh, truth.
Candace: What's the grossest thing that ever happened to you?
(Buford enters the room.)
Buford: Ladies, I was lookin' for some makeup to prank Baljeet, but I see now we're playin' truth-or-dare. Dare me anythin'. I only do dares.
Candace: (throws pillow at him) Get out!
Vanessa; (catches pillow) Uh, wait! Not so fast. Okay, Buford, I dare you to dunk your head in the toilet.
Buford: That's how I style my hair. Think bigger!
Vanessa: Okay, how about go downstairs and take a bite of Perry's food?
Buford: I already did that when I came in. Next!
Vanessa: I dare you to let me give you a makeover. (boops Buford)
Buford: Fine, but I'm an autumn.
Candace: Ugh! Vanessa, just give him some blush and get him out of here. Stacy!
Stacy: Yo, Ferb, can that thing get the finale of Acquaintances?
♪ Acquaintances ♪
♪ They hang out at parties, but they don't really have any idea what's going on in each other's lives ♪
Man: (clears throat)
Ferb: Indeed, but can you handle the 273K?
Candace: No! Don't encourage him! Vanessa!
Vanessa: (laughs) Buford, you look just like Queen Victoria!
(Buford turns around and he indeed resembles the Queen, complete with a tiara, scepter, earrings, and a necklace.)
Buford: Yeah, I'm pullin' it off.
Stacy: Slay, Queenie!
Candace: (finally snaps) That's it! I'm putting an end to this and getting Mom!
Stacy: Candace, maybe it would be cool if we could all have fun together.
Candace: (murmurs) Mom....!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs out of the room)
Stacy: Come on, Candace!
Vanessa: We dare you not to get your mom! (Candace has fled; to Stacy) Welp, if you can't beat 'em...
Stacy: Join 'em in a hi-def circular dome TV?
(They nod to each other and leave.)
(Cut to Mom and Dad's room, where they are sound asleep. Candace enters.)
Candace: Mom! Mom, wake up! Wake up, Mom!
Linda: (snores loudly)
(She does not wake up. Candace gets out a ringing alarm clock, tickles Mom's nose with a feather, blows a party blower and snaps her sleep mask to her face; Linda stays deep asleep.)
Candace: Wow, that chamomile tea really does knock her out.
(Dad gets out of bed and sleepwalks. He walks out of the room and bumps into Buford.)
Lawrence: Well, pardon me, Your Majesty.
Buford: 'Sup, chief?
(Cut back to D.E.I. Doof is asleep again and the inator zaps him again. Pan right to Perry. He gets some stuff out of his cushions and finds a pair of false teeth to free him from the trap.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey! Perry the Platypus, how did you—
(Perry throws the popcorn bowl at Doof. Doof pulls down the bowl and he suddenly has an Afro, bushy eyebrows and a beard making him look like Bob Ross.)
Doofenshmirtz: Why do I always use so much butter? (shakes the popcorn off, and lunges at Perry, but lies down on the chair Perry was sitting in) Y'know, I'm so groggy. That turkey really packs a punch.
(Doof closes his eyes. The inator aims at Doof, but Perry blocks it with a mirror. The beam bounces off the building window.)
(Cut back to Mom's room. Candace is banging pots and pans to wake her deeply sleeping mother, but she still stays out like a light. The inator beam zaps into the house. Candace physically pulls Linda out of bed as the beam hits her now empty pillow. Another inator beam comes in and misses Mom.)
Candace: Mom, look outside! Wake up!
(Candace and the still asleep Linda fall over as another inator beam comes in.)
(Cut back to Doof's living room. The inator keeps firing, and Perry is still blocking the attacks with the mirror. Cut to the backyard. An inator beam zaps Baljeet awake. He notices the clock says 9:37 and goes back to sleep. The inator keeps firing until it finally hits Doof.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey!
(Doof chases Perry onto the balcony where the giant megaphone is. Perry dismantles the megaphone and it falls over. Perry whacks Doof with the handle.)
Doofenshmirtz: Ow! Oh, I am awake now.
(Cut back to Mom's room. Candace ties a bathrobe sash to her and her mom and leads her down.)
Candace: (grunts) Maybe... if I get you... outside...! (bumps into a ledge)
(Cut back to Doof and Perry. Perry sees a box of chamomile tea and boils the tea kettle and gets a tea cup and gets some ice. He steeps the tea and gets atop the fridge waiting for Doof.)
Perry: (chatters)
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus! How did you...—
(Perry pours the tea into Doof's mouth. He falls right back asleep. The inator is about to blow. Perry punches it in slow motion and it explodes out the window shooting off a beam.)
(Cut to the backyard. The inator beam hits the tree. Some birds wake up from their nests and begin pecking on the kettle corn outside the dome. Candace goes outside with the still sleeping Linda tied behind her.)
Candace: Mom, look! You see that?!
(She removes Linda's sleep mask; one of the birds' beaks gets caught in the dome and it ends up popping sending it up in the air, finally waking Linda up with a start; zoom out to reveal all that's left are the kids and their sleeping bags in the grass.)
Linda: Candace, is this some kind of ridiculous internet prank?! It's like, a thousand o'clock!
(She marches back into the house with Candace in tow and walks back upstairs with her shocked daughter still tied to her.)
Candace: But but but but...
Linda: And why is your father having a full formal English tea with Buford?
(Reveals the sleepwalking Lawrence having tea with Buford still wearing the makeup.)
Lawrence: Tea, Your Majesty?
(Cut to the D.E.I. lobby the next morning. Doof walks up to his mailbox.)
Neighbor: Did you see the finale last night?
Doofenshmirtz: No, I fell asleep. I'll have to watch it tonight.
Tyler: (runs past) Antonio and Ryan found out they had a mutual acquaintance!
Doofenshmirtz: (sighs) Curse you, Tyler the Spoiler!
♪ Tyler is Evil Incorporated! ♪
Doofenshmirtz: No-no, we are not changing the jingle!
(The dome blows past the building.)
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