(Episode starts by showing the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Candace: (From her room, Clears throat) Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi
[In Phineas and Ferb's room.]
La La La La La La La
Phineas: Ferb, are you hearing what I'm hearing? Candace singing. Early in the morning.
Candace: (Singing a capella) Mom, it's your birthday
Thanks for all the care and love you give
Yeah, yeah, that's all right. I like that.
[Plays her bass guitar.] Mom, it's your birthday
Phineas: (Gasps) It's Mom's birthday! How can we forget Mom's birthday? Where have all the days gone? (Flashbacks start; Riding a Rollercoaster) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (In search of a mummy) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Herding cattle) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Surfing) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (On stage) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Being chased by a dinosaur; Roaring) Isn't there something I'm supposed to remember? (Flashbacks end) We should do something perfectly nice for Mom, what with Dad being out of town on business and all.
Candace: Okay, Candace, once from the top.
[Plays her bass guitar.] Mom, it's your birthday
Phineas: I got an idea.

(A short while later, Candace is walking, holding a breakfast plate in the hallway.)
Candace: Eggs and bacon
Oh, yeah
[In Linda's room.]
Mom, let me be the first to say--
Phineas: Happy birthday, Mom! We brought you some periodicals - like Mom Daily, Mom Weekly, Mom Bi-weekly, and just the way you like it, half-caff, double-frapp, mocha choco-latte mezzo-espresso.
Linda: Oh, wow. You boys really outdid yourselves.
Phineas: Au contraire, mon mere. I declare it's our mission to give you the best birthday ever. So relax, enjoy some reading, and no peeking till we come get you.
Linda: Oh, those boys are too much! Mmm. Oh, I smell eggs and bacon.

[Later in the kitchen...]
Phineas: Thank you, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro! We appreciate you helping us out. Ooh. Another call. (Beep) Talk to me. Buford, my man. Uh, hold on. [To Ferb] Needs roughage. [To Buford] Thanks, Buford. Glad we can count on you. (Candace clears throat) Hey, Candace. Wanna man the omelet station for Mom's birthday?
Candace: I'm doing my own thing. (Phineas and Ferb blinks) What? Are you going to tell them what it is?
Phineas: Sure. Uh, what are you doing?
Candace: It's a secret.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

(Cut to Agent P spinning his picture and going to his lair)
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. 17 minutes ago, our spy satellites located Doofenshmirtz. He's hiding out in his mountaintop castle laboratory, where he's purchased some suspicious items over the internet, including a giant metal sphere and two animatronic wax robots, you know, like they have at theme parks. Gosh, those things give me the creeps, the way they're all robotic and waxy?

[Back in the house, in Candace's room]
Candace: The boys may have won breakfast, but wait'll Mom sees this homemade birthday card. "Love, the child who loves you most, Candace."

[Linda is blindfolded.]
Phineas: All right, Mom. Almost there.
Linda: Oh, this is so exciting.
Phineas: Okay, you can look.
All: Happy birthday!
Linda: (Gasps) What a beautiful breakfast.
Candace: Mom?
Phineas: Made with love.
Buford: And sweat.
Linda: And by "sweat", you mean hard work.
Buford: Uh, sure.
Candace: Mom, this may not be a fantastic breakfast, but—
Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, Mom's birthday card!
(All gasps)
Candace: "To Mom"? Heh. It may be big, but bo-ring.
(Broadway music)
Linda: Oh, boys. I can't believe you two made it yourselves.
(Candace eats the birthday card)

[In the castle laboratory]
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, The Unicorn Whisperer, the feel-good movie of the year. And soon it will be gone. (Laughs maniacally; Perry appears) Oh, no! It's Perry the Platypus! Ha! I fooled you, Perry the Platypus! I'm not really scared! I'm not scared, because I have a new security system. Voila! (door opens to reveal two robots that look like Abraham Lincoln and George Washington) Ha ha! Do you like them, Perry the Platypus?
Wax Robots: Get him.
Doofenshmirtz: I got them very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt. Ha ha! Ha ha ha! I love it when dreams fail. As you know, I've been trying to take over the Tri-State area for quite some time now, and I realized this Tri-State area's filled with things I detest, so many things, like— (stops at a blinking traffic arrow) like blinking traffic arrows. Stop blinking at me, telling me where to go. Point. Point. Point. Ooh, I hate you. Let's see--what else? Ear hair. Oh, yes, I've always hated you. Pelicans. Terrible creatures. What—what are you, a bird or a garbage disposal? Ugh, musical instruments that start with "B". You get the idea. It's a long list. I've been working on it for a while. Anyway, I realized I should build something that would make all those awful things disappear. Behold, Perry the Platypus-- Shrink-spheria! (Dramatic music) You like it? I was going to call it a Shrinkinator, but I've done that whole "inator" thing before. It's just been done to death. Bring him over here! I want to show him how it works. I enter the name of something I hate. P-e-l-i-c-a-n. Pelican. And Shrink-spheria homes in on its molecular structure and then turns all the particles into sparticles, thereby shrinking it into a teeny, tiny speck so small I never have to see it again. So good-bye to you, Perry the Platypus. Enjoy your presidential suite! (Laughs maniacally and closes the door)

[Back at the kitchen]
Phineas: Glad you like the card, Mom.
Ferb: It's a simple postmodern fusion of origami and pop-up.
Phineas: Yeah, and just wait till you see your present. Okay. Stay right there.
Linda: Oh, I hope the boys don't go overboard with my present. All I'd really like is that dress from that cute little sundress shop.
Candace: You mean that really cute one with the polka dots? (goes out on her bike) I know what she wants. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.

[Back at the castle]
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, Perry the Platypus, say goodbye to blinking detour signs! Forever! (Laughs maniacally)
Yes! I'm an evil genius! Ha ha ha ha! Now I have to wait 4 minutes for it to recharge, which isn't so bad.
I think I'll go with pelicans next. What do you think Perry the Platypus? Pelicans next?
(During this, Perry gets a dart, shoots it at the rope making the chandelier fall and melt the robots)
Wax George Washington Robot: I cannot tell a lie. I'm melting.

[Doof's Shrink-spheria is effected around Danville; Candace comes out the sundress store with the dress]
Candace: Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. (the left point is invisible, the moth van fell into a road hole and the moths are fly away and fly around at the dress) Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.

[Cut to Doof]
Doofenshmirtz: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Pelican, I'm going to shrink you now. Hee hee hee hee. Wh-why is it not working? Something's blocking the-- (sees Parry rattling the antenna) HEY! (he goes to Perry who proceeds to attack him)

[In the backyard of the house]
Candace: Hey, everybody! Look what— You got to be kidding me.
Phineas: Our first supermodel sports a chic, stylin', notcouture sundress perfect for our birthday queen to sip iced lattes while enjoying a fabulous day in the sun.
Candace: Hum. Well, they have the wrong sundress. It's okay, but it is not as great as this. (sees the moths on the dress) AAAAAH! (runs inside)
Linda: Candace? Candace? Where'd she go?

[Back in the castle, Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz making him hit the controls]
Doofenshmirtz: Ow! (he sees he pressed one of the buttons) Oh, well. Good-bye to musical instruments that starts with "B"!

[Back at the house, Candace has got away from the moths by running into her room.]
Candace: (Panting) Wait a minute! I can still give mom the one thing the boys can't! The gift of music! Played on my good friend: the bass. (Bass guitar disappears) Huh. Oh, well, it's a good thing I play the banjo! (Banjo disappears) It's a good thing I play the bassoon! (Bassoon disappears) It's a good thing I play the bugle! (Bugle disappears) It's a good thing I play the bongos! (Bongos disappears; cut to timecard)
Narrator: Five minutes later...
[cut back to Candace]
Candace: It's a good thing I play the balalaika! (Balalaika disappears) It's a good thing I play the bagpipe! (Bagpipe disappears) I should've manned the omelet station!

[Candace goes to the backyard]
Linda: Candace, honey, come join us. The boys have put together a little video.
Phineas: Yeah. Here, you can do the honors.
Candace: Fine, whatever. [starts video]
Phineas: (On video) Happy birthday, Mom. From birth, to young adult, to mid-sized adult, from the 80s to the 90s, Mom enchants everyone she meets. But who is this person we call Mom?

[Back at the castle Perry trips Doofenshmirtz]
Doofenshmirtz: Uhh... [The two wax robots appear]
Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot: (Whirring) A house divided cannot stand.
Wax George Washington Robot: Yeah, what he said.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Perry the Platypus, you melted their wax, but you can never melt what's inside—pure evil! (The two robots leap out, only to fall in the sphere making it explode] Ehh. I should have seen that coming.
Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot: We can't seem to get a break.
Wax George Washington Robot: Your breath smells like candles.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[Back at the backyard of the house]
(Mellow music playing)
Linda: Isn't this wonderful?
Candace: (Sarcastically) Yeah, really great.
Phineas: (On video) But the true testament to what a great Mom you are, is that your daughter would take the time to write this song.
(Song: "I Love You Mom")
Candace: (On video) Mom, it's your birthday
Thanks for all the care and love you give
Phineas: Nice song, sis.Ferb: (Ding)
Candace: (on video) Not to mention the meals
And times I get kind of nervous
Phineas: Come on!
Candace: (on video) And forget to tell you how I feel
Boys: (Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-doo)
Candace: (Singing with her on video) I'm a little high-strung 
It's just because I'm young 
Mom, I adore ya
And I'll do anything for ya! 
Although my brothers make me frantic
With every single crazy antic
And when I'm bouncin' off the walls
You're the one who stays calm
Boys: (You're the one who stays calm)
Candace: (singing with her on video) Because you love me for who I am
I'll always love you, Mom! 
Boys: (Ooh)
(Crowd applauding)
Linda: What a beautiful song, honey! Oh, I only wish Dad could have heard it.
Candace: Well, I really wanted you to have a happy bir--
Phineas: Oh, I almost forgot. We set up a satellite up-link with Dad.
Linda: Ooh, a satellite up-link.
Lawrence: (On screen) Hello, love. Happy birthday.
Linda: Hi, honey, I miss you. And you're missing the festivities. The boys threw me the greatest party. And Candace wrote me this really amazing song. Can you hear me?
(Perry appears)
Candace: Oh, hey, Perry. Where have you been? You missed all the fun.
(Perry chatters; Fade to black)

"I, Brobot"
Episode transcripts Next:
"Journey to the Center of Candace"

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