(Episode starts by showing the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Candace: (From her room, Clears throat) ♪ Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi ♪
[In Phineas and Ferb's room.]
♪ La La La La La La La ♪
Phineas: Ferb, are you hearing what I'm hearing? Candace singing. Early in the morning.
Candace: (Singing a capella) ♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪
♪ Thanks for all the care and love you give ♪
Yeah, yeah, that's all right. I like that.
[Plays her bass guitar.] ♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪
Phineas: (Gasps) It's Mom's birthday! How can we forget Mom's birthday? Where have all the days gone? (Flashbacks start; Riding a Rollercoaster) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (In search of a mummy) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Herding cattle) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Surfing) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (On stage) We can't forget Mom's birthday. (Being chased by a dinosaur; Roaring) Isn't there something I'm supposed to remember? (Flashbacks end) We should do something perfectly nice for Mom, what with Dad being out of town on business and all.
Candace: Okay, Candace, once from the top.
[Plays her bass guitar.] ♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪
Phineas: I got an idea.
(A short while later, Candace is walking, holding a breakfast plate in the hallway.)
Candace: ♪ Eggs and bacon ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
[In Linda's room.]
Mom, let me be the first to say--
Phineas: Happy birthday, Mom! We brought you some periodicals - like Mom Daily, Mom Weekly, Mom Bi-weekly, and just the way you like it, half-caff, double-frapp, mocha choco-latte mezzo-espresso.
Linda: Oh, wow. You boys really outdid yourselves.
Phineas: Au contraire, mon mere. I declare it's our mission to give you the best birthday ever. So relax, enjoy some reading, and no peeking till we come get you.
Linda: Oh, those boys are too much! Mmm. Oh, I smell eggs and bacon.
[Later in the kitchen...]
Phineas: Thank you, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro! We appreciate you helping us out. Ooh. Another call. (Beep) Talk to me. Buford, my man. Uh, hold on. [To Ferb] Needs roughage. [To Buford] Thanks, Buford. Glad we can count on you. (Candace clears throat) Hey, Candace. Wanna man the omelet station for Mom's birthday?
Candace: I'm doing my own thing. (Phineas and Ferb blinks) What? Are you going to tell them what it is?
Phineas: Sure. Uh, what are you doing?
Candace: It's a secret.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
(Cut to Agent P spinning his picture and going to his lair)
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. 17 minutes ago, our spy satellites located Doofenshmirtz. He's hiding out in his mountaintop castle laboratory, where he's purchased some suspicious items over the internet, including a giant metal sphere and two animatronic wax robots, you know, like they have at theme parks. Gosh, those things give me the creeps, the way they're all robotic and waxy?
♪ Perry! ♪
[Back in the house, in Candace's room]
Candace: The boys may have won breakfast, but wait'll Mom sees this homemade birthday card. "Love, the child who loves you most, Candace."
[Linda is blindfolded.]
Phineas: All right, Mom. Almost there.
Linda: Oh, this is so exciting.
Phineas: Okay, you can look.
All: Happy birthday!
Linda: (Gasps) What a beautiful breakfast.
Phineas: Made with love.
Buford: And sweat.
Linda: And by "sweat", you mean hard work.
Buford: Uh, sure.
Candace: Mom, this may not be a fantastic breakfast, but—
Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, Mom's birthday card!
Candace: "To Mom"? Heh. It may be big, but bo-ring.
Linda: Oh, boys. I can't believe you two made it yourselves.
(Candace eats the birthday card)
[In the castle laboratory]
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, The Unicorn Whisperer, the feel-good movie of the year. And soon it will be gone. (Laughs maniacally; Perry appears) Oh, no! It's Perry the Platypus! Ha! I fooled you, Perry the Platypus! I'm not really scared! I'm not scared, because I have a new security system. Voila! (door opens to reveal two robots that look like Abraham Lincoln and George Washington) Ha ha! Do you like them, Perry the Platypus?
Wax Robots: Get him.
Doofenshmirtz: I got them very cheap from a wax museum that went bankrupt. Ha ha! Ha ha ha! I love it when dreams fail. As you know, I've been trying to take over the Tri-State area for quite some time now, and I realized this Tri-State area's filled with things I detest, so many things, like— (stops at a blinking traffic arrow) like blinking traffic arrows. Stop blinking at me, telling me where to go. Point. Point. Point. Ooh, I hate you. Let's see--what else? Ear hair. Oh, yes, I've always hated you. Pelicans. Terrible creatures. What—what are you, a bird or a garbage disposal? Ugh, musical instruments that start with "B". You get the idea. It's a long list. I've been working on it for a while. Anyway, I realized I should build something that would make all those awful things disappear. Behold, Perry the Platypus-- Shrink-spheria! (Dramatic music) You like it? I was going to call it a Shrinkinator, but I've done that whole "inator" thing before. It's just been done to death. Bring him over here! I want to show him how it works. I enter the name of something I hate. P-e-l-i-c-a-n. Pelican. And Shrink-spheria homes in on its molecular structure and then turns all the particles into sparticles, thereby shrinking it into a teeny, tiny speck so small I never have to see it again. So good-bye to you, Perry the Platypus. Enjoy your presidential suite! (Laughs maniacally and closes the door)
[Back at the kitchen]
Phineas: Glad you like the card, Mom.
Ferb: It's a simple postmodern fusion of origami and pop-up.
Phineas: Yeah, and just wait till you see your present. Okay. Stay right there.
Linda: Oh, I hope the boys don't go overboard with my present. All I'd really like is that dress from that cute little sundress shop.
Candace: You mean that really cute one with the polka dots? (goes out on her bike) I know what she wants. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.
[Back at the castle]
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, Perry the Platypus, say goodbye to blinking detour signs! Forever! (Laughs maniacally)
Yes! I'm an evil genius! Ha ha ha ha! Now I have to wait 4 minutes for it to recharge, which isn't so bad.
I think I'll go with pelicans next. What do you think Perry the Platypus? Pelicans next?
(During this, Perry gets a dart, shoots it at the rope making the chandelier fall and melt the robots)
Wax George Washington Robot: I cannot tell a lie. I'm melting.
[Doof's Shrink-spheria is effected around Danville; Candace comes out the sundress store with the dress]
Candace: Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. (the left point is invisible, the moth van fell into a road hole and the moths are fly away and fly around at the dress) Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress. Cute little sundress.
[Cut to Doof]
Doofenshmirtz: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Pelican, I'm going to shrink you now. Hee hee hee hee. Wh-why is it not working? Something's blocking the-- (sees Parry rattling the antenna) HEY! (he goes to Perry who proceeds to attack him)
[In the backyard of the house]
Candace: Hey, everybody! Look what— You got to be kidding me.
Phineas: Our first supermodel sports a chic, stylin', notcouture sundress perfect for our birthday queen to sip iced lattes while enjoying a fabulous day in the sun.
Candace: Hum. Well, they have the wrong sundress. It's okay, but it is not as great as this. (sees the moths on the dress) AAAAAH! (runs inside)
Linda: Candace? Candace? Where'd she go?
[Back in the castle, Perry kicks Doofenshmirtz making him hit the controls]
Doofenshmirtz: Ow! (he sees he pressed one of the buttons) Oh, well. Good-bye to musical instruments that starts with "B"!
[Back at the house, Candace has got away from the moths by running into her room.]
Candace: (Panting) Wait a minute! I can still give mom the one thing the boys can't! The gift of music! Played on my good friend: the bass. (Bass guitar disappears) Huh. Oh, well, it's a good thing I play the banjo! (Banjo disappears) It's a good thing I play the bassoon! (Bassoon disappears) It's a good thing I play the bugle! (Bugle disappears) It's a good thing I play the bongos! (Bongos disappears; cut to timecard)
Narrator: Five minutes later...
[cut back to Candace]
Candace: It's a good thing I play the balalaika! (Balalaika disappears) It's a good thing I play the bagpipe! (Bagpipe disappears) I should've manned the omelet station!
[Candace goes to the backyard]
Linda: Candace, honey, come join us. The boys have put together a little video.
Phineas: Yeah. Here, you can do the honors.
Candace: Fine, whatever. [starts video]
Phineas: (On video) Happy birthday, Mom. From birth, to young adult, to mid-sized adult, from the 80s to the 90s, Mom enchants everyone she meets. But who is this person we call Mom?
[Back at the castle Perry trips Doofenshmirtz]
Doofenshmirtz: Uhh... [The two wax robots appear]
Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot: (Whirring) A house divided cannot stand.
Wax George Washington Robot: Yeah, what he said.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, Perry the Platypus, you melted their wax, but you can never melt what's inside—pure evil! (The two robots leap out, only to fall in the sphere making it explode] Ehh. I should have seen that coming.
Wax Abraham Lincoln Robot: We can't seem to get a break.
Wax George Washington Robot: Your breath smells like candles.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
[Back at the backyard of the house]
(Mellow music playing)
Linda: Isn't this wonderful?
Candace: (Sarcastically) Yeah, really great.
Phineas: (On video) But the true testament to what a great Mom you are, is that your daughter would take the time to write this song.
(Song: "I Love You Mom")
Candace: (On video)♪ Mom, it's your birthday ♪
♪ Thanks for all the care and love you give ♪
Phineas: Nice song, sis. • Ferb: (Ding)
Candace: (on video) ♪ Not to mention the meals ♪
♪ And times I get kind of nervous ♪
Phineas: Come on!
Candace: (on video) ♪ And forget to tell you how I feel ♪
Boys: ♪ (Shoo-be-doo, shoo-be-doo) ♪
Candace: (Singing with her on video)♪ I'm a little high-strung ♪
♪ It's just because I'm young ♪
♪ Mom, I adore ya ♪
♪ And I'll do anything for ya! ♪
♪ Although my brothers make me frantic ♪
♪ With every single crazy antic ♪
♪ And when I'm bouncin' off the walls ♪
♪ You're the one who stays calm ♪
Boys: ♪ (You're the one who stays calm) ♪
Candace: (singing with her on video)♪ Because you love me for who I am ♪
♪ I'll always love you, Mom! ♪
Boys: ♪ (Ooh) ♪
Linda: What a beautiful song, honey! Oh, I only wish Dad could have heard it.
Candace: Well, I really wanted you to have a happy bir--
Phineas: Oh, I almost forgot. We set up a satellite up-link with Dad.
Linda: Ooh, a satellite up-link.
Lawrence: (On screen) Hello, love. Happy birthday.
Linda: Hi, honey, I miss you. And you're missing the festivities. The boys threw me the greatest party. And Candace wrote me this really amazing song. Can you hear me?
Candace: Oh, hey, Perry. Where have you been? You missed all the fun.
(Perry chatters; Fade to black)
"Journey to the Center of Candace"