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"Mid-Life Crisis" is a song sung by Heinz Doofenshmirtz in the episode "Act Your Age". In the song, Heinz sings about how he never had a mid-life crisis of his own and wants one.


Doofenshmirtz: All my friends have spray-on tans,
And they're gettin' back together with their old rock bands.
Yes, their bland old lives are now filled with spices.
They're havin' a mid-life crisis!

They're all gettin' sports cars and new toupees,
And borrowing against their IRAs.
I've always had more than my share of vices,
But I never had a mid-life crisis.

I'm sick and tired of bein' out of the game.
Everyone's so discontent. I wish I felt the same.
It's not like my life has been a total delight, but
Something must be wrong, 'cause I feel...all right.

Kazoo solo!

(Kazoo solo)

But now with my inator, I can be the same.
My crisis will put all other crises to shame.
But I'm tellin' ya now, that it's gonna be twice as
Good as any
Big gut suckin', sports car buyin',
Self-deludin', comb-over tryin',
Skinny jean-wearin', wrinkle denyin',
Bucket listin', grey hair dyin'
Existential mid-life crisis!

Background Information

  • This song was first mentioned by voice actor Lucky Luciano.[1]
  • This is the second song that Doofenshmirtz sings as a background voice. (The first was "Kinderlumper" in "Der Kinderlumper".)


BMI Work #19753043 (titled Mid Life Crisis)

See also


"(Not) Evil Jingle"
Songs Next:
"Ballad of Badbeard" (Instrumental)
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