(Scene opens on footage from "My Fair Goalie" and "For Your Ice Only".)
Narrator: First, there was Football X-7, then Hockey Z-9, but there was an obvious alphanumeric gap between them, so get ready for...
(Zoom out to reveal the footage was being shown on Phineas' tablet to the rest of the gang in the backyard.)
Phineas: Croquet Y-8!
Baljeet: Huh. Finally the opportunity to show off my mad mallet skills!
Ferb: If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Or a hoop with a portal.
Buford: Fine, but we're doin' Demolition Derby G-48 tomorrow!
(Whip pan to Jeremy at the gate.)
Jeremy: Hey, you guys seen Perry?
The gang (including Ferb): In the house.
Buford: What's next? Stacy shows up and asks, "Whatcha doin'?"
(Cut to inside the house. Perry is sleeping in his bed when his watch beeps. He puts on his hat, jumps off the bed and activates a hole in the floor, when suddenly...)
Candace: (offscreen) Perry? Perry, where are you?
(Perry gets off the hole, causing his hat to fall, and he goes back to mindless pet mode.)
Candace: There you are, my monotreme mon ami.
(Cut to Perry's lair. Monogram and Carl just stair at the fedora in Perry's chair.)
Major Monogram: It's just a hat, Carl. Why is it just a hat? Do you think he's invisible?
Carl: Then wouldn't his hat be floating?
Major Monogram: Or maybe he's a ghost.
Carl: Well, the hat would still be floating, right?
Major Monogram: They can't interact with the material world, Carl. Use your head!
(Cut to Candace holding Perry joining Jeremy on the couch.)
Candace: Alright, Jeremy. Perry and I are all ears. I mean, we're not like all ears. (chuckling) I mean, imagine if we were all ears! Just covered in ears! Like, we can hear out of our elbows! (chuckles, whispers to herself) Candace, you're weird! (out loud, to Jeremy) So what's the sitch?
Jeremy: I need you and Perry for a summer school project for college credit. It's a zoology course.
(Out the window, Phineas and the gang prepare the field.)
Candace: (looking out the window) Uh-huh, great. A documentary about zoo college.
Jeremy: It's a day in the life of an exotic animal, and Perry's the most exotic animal I know. So it's you and me documenting Perry all afternoon.
(Perry's eyes widen in an "Oh, crap!" way.)
Candace: (still looking out the window) Great, sounds like a plan. I'm in.
Jeremy: Are you sure, Candace, 'cause it looks like you may wanna bust your brothers.
(Candace turns away from the window.)
Candace: No-n-no-no, I can multitask. I can bust the boys while we document Perry. No prob.
Jeremy: Great. Just need some assistance with this equipment from the car. (exits)
Candace: You got it! Assistant/producer/girlfriend at your service! (she puts Perry back in his bed) All right, Perry, stay put. Don't do much. Y'know, like you usually don't do.
(As soon as Candace is gone, Perry goes back into agent mode.)
Jeremy's voice: Documenting Perry's life all afternoon... afternoon... afternoon...
(Perry goes to a wall and opens a secret door labeled "In Case of Emergency Break Glass". He goes to another secret door with a crane game full of hammers. He wins one, and breaks the glass taking out a yellow ball. He then looks down at the shards of glass on the floor. He goes to another secret door labeled "In Case of Broken Glass", and he takes out the vacuum and sucks up the shards of glass. He then throws the ball at his bed, and a robotic Perry decoy emerges from it. One of its eyes falls out, but Perry places it back in.)
♪ Fake Perry! ♪
Candace: (offscreen) Places, people, places!
(Perry reactivates the hole in the ground and falls into his lair. Candace approaches the Perry impostor and lifts it out of the bed.)
Candace: All right, Perry. Let's do this!
(Out the window, Ferb pulls a giant mallet out of one of the portals.)
(Cut back to the lair. Perry falls onto the chair with his hat on it, and puts his hat on.)
Major Monogram and Carl: Phew!
Major Monogram: Thank goodness you're here, Agent P! What kept you?
(Perry pulls out the yellow ball and shows it to Monogram.)
Major Monogram: Oh, you had to use an emergency Perry-bot as a decoy.
Carl: Aren't you a little concerned, sir, about all the previous models being recalled due to mechanical failure?
(The monitor whip pans to three Perry-bots. The first one fizzles out, the second explodes, and the third... somehow turns into spaghetti and meatballs. Perry looks concerned at this development.)
Carl: I estimate you got about three hours, give or take, before your bot goes smoke, boom, spaghetti.
Major Monogram: Great googly moogly! That would blow your cover with your host family!
(Perry looks at his watch, with sets the timer for three hours.)
Major Monogram: Well, I'll keep it brief. Doof is getting into some farm-related shenanigans, and no good has ever come from a mad scientist taking up animal husbandry. Go get him, Agent P!
Carl: In less than three hours!
Echo: Three hours! Three hours!
(Perry salutes and takes off.)
Major Monogram: Carl, is that why I signed an invoice for an echo machine?
Echo: Machine? Machine?
(Cut to the backyard in time for the song.)
(Song: Croquet Y-8)
Phineas: ♪ We had Football X-7 and Hockey Z-9, ♪
♪ We could've left it at that and been perfectly fine ♪
♪ But anyone with a little common sense ♪
♪ Could see the gap in our alphanumeric sporting events ♪
♪ Croquet Y-8 (Y-8) ♪
♪ Croquet Y-8 (Y-8) ♪
♪ I think it's time for us to demonstrate ♪
♪ It's like croquet, but there are ways to differentiate ♪
(rapping) ♪ Let me break it down with an equipment roll call ♪
♪ We've got oversized mallets, pegs, wickets, and balls ♪
Baljeet: ♪ Plus a few upgrades that we just resolved ♪
Isabella: ♪ Our court stretches all the way from here to City Hall ♪
Phineas: ♪ Are you feelin' lucky? Are you feelin' immortal? ♪
♪ Watch this trick shot through this quantum portal ♪
♪ It's another dimension we can navigate ♪
Isabella: ♪ And if you miss the peg, you can recalibrate! ♪
Phineas: ♪ It's better than the original, no debate ♪
Ferb: ♪ This is not croquet ♪
Phineas and the gang: ♪ This is Croquet Y-8! ♪
(Cut to:)
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
(A sheep bleats.)
Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen, muffled) Welcome, Perry the Platy— Off, off! (A pile of sheep uncover Doof dressed as a shepherd.) I bet you're wondering why I'm depressed as a traditional Drusselstinian shepherd, right? Well, that's because sheep are a part of my latest dastardly plan! Also, I've started taking up knitting. I made this adorable sweater for you.
(Doof throws a red and blue sweater with the letter "P" on it at Perry. When it lands on him, it is extremely loose-fitting.)
Doofenshmirtz: The stitching took twice as long as the online tutorial said it would, but... Uh, it's a little big on you, but we can fix that.
(Doof pushes a button and water douses over Perry, and a giant hair dryer causes his sweater to shrink and trap him.)
Doofenshmirtz: (laughs) There you go, much better. Now you look like an adorable duck-billed baby. A trapped, adorable duck-billed baby. That's you. (tickles him) Coochie-coochie-coo! Ah, yes, the eternal question, Perry the Platypus, do you even sheep, bro?
(Flashback to a young Doof jumping on his bed.)
Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) When I was a lad, I had trouble sleeping, so my parents told me to try counting sheep...
(Cut back to the present.)
Doofenshmirtz: (cont'd) ...which is weird and not helpful.
(Cut back to flashback.)
Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) I mean it's not as weird as counting counter-topped whittling crabs to get rid of leg cramps, but still, you get the idea. Granted we had a lot of sheep for accounting purposes, but it just never really worked for me.
(Cut back to the present.)
Doofenshmirtz: But counting sheep does work for a lot of people. Hence, and behold, the thing that you're already beholding, my Go-to-Sheep-inator! Lookit, Perry the Platypus, this is my favorite part. The inator rehydrates sheep from a packet of dehydrated sheep that I ordered off of a Drusselstinian website.
(Cutaway to an ad.)
Announcer: Dehydrated Sheep! Just add water and watch them grow! It's fun, it's easy, and profitable!
(Cut back to Doof.)
Doofenshmirtz: My plan is to give everyone all the sheep they can count, putting all of Danville to sleep, allowing me to take over the... What? What? You're giving me that look. You no likey? Y'know, they can't all be gems, Perry the Platypus. (sighs) You really know how to take the wind out of a guy's sails, you know that?
(Perry rolls away and falls off the ledge.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, what? No! The scheme wasn't that bad!
(Perry unravels his sweater off a flagpole.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, I knitted that!
(Perry catapults from the flagpole and hits Doof in the chin.)
Doofenshmirtz: No fair! You distracted me with implied criticism! Aha! (he pushes the button activating the inator) Count the sheep, Perry the Platypus! Count the sheep and go to sleep...
(Perry's eyelids get heavy, but then he looks at his watch, which beeps when there are five minutes left on the timer. He wakes up.)
Doofenshmirtz: Count the she— Whoa!
(Perry jumps onto Doof and they land atop two sheep.)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, this is an unexpected escalation. Ride 'em, sheep boy!
(Cut back to the Flynn-Fletcher house as Candace and Jeremy observe Robo-Perry.)
Perry-Bot: (chatters)
Jeremy: Ooh, and apparently, monotremes chitter every ten seconds. (to Candace) Mark that down.
(Candace writes on her clipboard. The fake Perry approaches Perry's water dish, but then starts to buzz.)
Jeremy: Oh, hungry little guy? Let's get some footage of Perry eating. (Pull out to reveal Candace not there.) Candace?
(Cut to Candace in the backyard watching the Croquet Y-8 game avoiding the giant balls coming out of the portals.)
Candace: Gotta call Mom!
(As Candace dials her phone, she narrowly avoids another ball falling out of the sky. Candace sticks her head in one of the portals, which has the Alps on the other side.)
Candace: Wait, where are they?!
Echo: They?! They?!
(Cut back to the backyard. Jeremy is at the door.)
Jeremy: Candace? Hey, Candace!
Candace: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be right there.
Jeremy: I need help finding his food.
Candace: Oh, right. Food. Yeah, he likes that. I'm coming!
(Cut to the kitchen. Candace gets Perry's dish and a bag of shrimp flavored Platypus Chow.)
Candace: Sorry, Jeremy, I got distracted. I know. Let's up the production value. Come here, Perry, it's showtime! (pours the food into the dish) I got this multitasking thing down. (She looks out the window, but the food falls onto the floor, missing the dish. The Perry-bot dives into the food.)
Jeremy: A well-balanced diet is vital to the health of any semiaquatic mammal.
(The fake Perry comes out of the food and starts screaming. Jeremy and Candace cover their ears.)
Jeremy: I don't think he likes it! Do all platypi do that, or is that a Perry thing?
(Whip pan down to the Perry-bot holding its breath and waving its legs around.)
Candace: (spying on the backyard through binoculars) No, platypuses don't do much.
(The Perry-bot stops holding its breath and deflates like a balloon, with Jeremy holding onto him, crashing into some things on the wall.)
Jeremy: Perry, wait up! Candace?!
Candace: You got this, Jeremy!
(Cut back to Doof and Perry's sheep riding chase.)
(Song: Platypus Walk (instrumental))
Doofenshmirtz: Get back here!
(Perry looks at his watch, which now has only two minutes left.)
Doofenshmirtz: (activating the inator) Hey, Perry the Platypus, did you know that the plural of "sheep" is also "sheep"? Isn't that boring? What about "sheeps", or "sheepuses", or "sheeples"?
(Perry gets closer to Doof, but he gets blockaded by more sheep.)
Doofenshmirtz: Have as many sheeples as you want, Perry the Platypus, I can always make more! (laughs)
(The inator creates a giant ball of sheep, which rolls in Perry's direction, as he leads his sheep to Doof.)
Doofenshmirtz: Wait, wait, wait! Stop flocking towards me! You're not supposed to flock in such a spherical manner!
(Perry takes out knitting needles and knits and purls his sheep's wool.)
(Cut back to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Candace is on the phone with Mom, but the robo-Perry's tail keeps slapping her in the face.)
Candace: Ow! Mom... Ow! I'm... Ow! Jeremy... Ow! On the way... Ow! Are building... Ow! Croquet... Ow!
Jeremy: Huh, this is behavior we've never seen before.
Candace: Ow!
(Cut to Mom in the car sipping a beverage while listening on the phone.)
Linda: Uh, you okay there, hon?
(Cut back to Candace.)
Candace: Yeah, I mean, it's cool. I got this, though. Jeremy and I are working on his Perry film project. Also, the boys have a project you should see.
(Cut back to Mom.)
Linda: Oh, did you say you were doing a Perry movie? This I have to see. I'm on my way. (She drives off.)
(Cut back to Candace.)
Candace: Yes!
(Suddenly, smoke emerges. Candace coughs.)
Candace: What? J-Jeremy?!
Jeremy: (coughs) Oh, do all platypi emit smoke like this?
(Cut back to Doof and Perry's chase. Perry now has one minute left on his timer.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey!
(Perry takes the lasso he knitted from his sheep and latches it onto the inator.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, my sheep! My yarn! My inator!
(Doof gets run over by the sheep ball and rolls on it.)
Doofenshmirtz: (grunting) Now, now, how is this supposed to put anyone to sleep?!
(Perry's tail smacks the inator and he pushes the reverse switch on the remote.)
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, I see. Oh, I see. You're re-dehydrating them. Okay, good. But wait, but you missed this ball!
(The ball falls off the ledge and bounces and rolls onto the road. Doof grabs the ledge. Perry drops the remote, does not look back at the cool explosion and looks at his watch, which has 30 seconds left on the timer.)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, all's "wool" that ends "wool".
(Perry jumps onto his hover car and leaves.)
Doofenshmirtz: Wait, a little help? Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
(Cut to a croquet ball emerging from a portal atop a plane which passes by the HMS Lindana sailboat, and goes underwater into another portal.)
(Cut to inside the house. Candace runs toward the door carrying the Perry imposter.)
Candace: Mom'll be here any minute. (She runs back toward the backyard door.) I can do it all! I'm a multitasking master! Ugh. Actually, I think this multitasking thing is overrated. (sits on the couch) It's too many taskings.
(Cut to the backyard. All of the croquet balls emerge from the portal, as the gang come out of the balls.)
The gang: Croquet Y-8! YEAH!
Phineas: Croquet just needed a few well-timed portals and pyrotechnics. Who knew?
Baljeet: (screams and points upward) Sudden sheep! And they're flocking this way!
(They run away from the sheep ball, which knocks into the Croquet Y-8 balls and equipment.)
Buford: Wow, that's a lotta sheeples!
Baljeet: Seeing as there are 34 sheep in the circumference, if we calculate the sheep radius and multiplied by y divided by 3πr², you would get... (falls asleep on the ground, snoring.)
Ferb: 589 sheep. (He too falls asleep.)
(Cut to inside.)
Jeremy: Candace, I think we got some great footage. Awwww...
(Cut to Jeremy recording Candace sleeping on the couch next to the fake Perry.)
(Song: Quirky Worky Song (lullaby version, instrumental))
Jeremy: And finally, after a very exotic day, our monotreme takes a moment to not do much. Grabbing a well-earned cuddle with everyone's favorite hard-working assistant/producer/girlfriend. Oh! Gotta charge my phone!
(Just as he leaves, the real Agent P emerges from a secret door just as the robotic one is about to explode as the timer goes off.)
Candace: (in her sleep) Yeah, Perry does this all the time...
(Perry flips the couch cushion over and takes his place next to the still sleepy Candace.)
Candace: (in her sleep) Yeah. You said it, Perry... (wakes up, pets Perry) There there you are, Perry.
(Perry smiles as the robot in the couch goes smoke, boom, and spaghetti at the same time. Linda approaches them and gets out her phone and snaps a photo.)
Linda: Two cutie-patooties! (opens the door to the empty backyard) All right, kids. Everybody in for some snacks.
Jeremy: Hey, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, you wanna see the footage of Perry?
Linda: Ooh, absolutely! Come on, kids! And somebody wake up Baljeet.
(Buford drags the still sleeping Baljeet by the foot and shakes him awake.)
Baljeet: Aah! I'm up, I'm up, I'm up!
(Cut to the Farmer and his Wife.)
Farmer's Wife: I can't believe you bought an entire sheep farm and didn't think to get any sheep?
Farmer: Oh, I ordered some.
(The giant sheep ball rolls by in the background.)
Farmer: No, not those. They're being delivered this afternoon.
Farmer's Wife: (happily) Oh!
End credits[]
Doofenshmirtz: ♪ Do you wanna be strong as a tank, ♪
♪ But you need a gym that won't break the bank? ♪
♪ You'll sweat so much that you'll really stank ♪
♪ But when you see the results, you'll be sure to thank ♪
♪ Me! ♪
♪ When you come on down to Doofnasium ♪
♪ Don't sit on the couch and be a lazy bum ♪
♪ If you want things that are crazy-um ♪
♪ Just come on down today ♪
♪ Doofnasium! ♪
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