The Fast and the Phineas/Transcript

Transcript
(Scene opens up with camera zooming into the backyard.)

Phineas: So Ferb, what should we do today? I mean, besides giving Perry a bath.

(Both sniff, Perry chatters, race car sound)

Phineas: What is that wonderful noise? Awesome! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

(They start to work on the car)

Candace: Oh, I have got to take a new picture of myself for my blog. I didn't realize mine is already a week old. (Takes a picture of herself) That's better.

(Candace walks off, but snaps to the garage enterance as she notices the boys working on the car)

Candace: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MOM'S CAR?!

Phineas: We tricked it out!

Candace: You don't even know how to drive.

Phineas: Well, duh. That's why Ferb built this remote.

Candace: Oh, you are so busted. Mom! Mom! Mom! Um, where's Mom?

Phineas: She's playing bridge at Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro's.

Ferb: (Slams hood)

(Scene shifts to the exterior of the Garcia-Shapiro house)

Candace: They won't get away with it this time. (Rings doorbell)

Vivian: Oh Candace, dear. Bubela, how good to see you. What a coincidence. Do you know your mom is here?

Candace: Mmm mmm. Yeah, I do, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro. I need to talk to her if you don't mind.

Vivian: Oy Vey. Look how tall you are now. You must've grown a couple of inches since the last time I've saw you.

Candace: That was last week, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro.

Vivian: Well your mom's inside, dear. Where are your braces? I thought you were wearing braces.

Candace: Yeah. MOM! MOM! MOM!

Linda: What is it, Candace?

Candace: You have got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!

(Car zooms past Phineas and Ferb four times. The first time, their hair is blown forward. The second, their hair is burst. Third, their hair is switched. Fourth, their hair is normal again)

Phineas: Hey, Ferb. What's the red button for?

(Car continues zooming, Ferb pushes the red button on remote)

Candace: MOM!

(Explosion as the car blasts upward)

Linda: What is it? What do you want me to see?

Candace: Lool quick!!!

Phineas: Hi, Mom!

Linda: Hi, boys! (At Candace, who is stunned) Now, if that's all, I'll just be getting back to the game.

(Candace just stands there deadpanned. Whistling, the car thuds back onto the road]

Phineas: Good thing we've beefed up the suspension.

(Car revving)

Phineas: Woah! What else can it do?

Isabella: Hi Phineas.

Phineas: Oh, hi, Isabella.

Isabella: Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: We're entering The Swamp Oil 500 today.

Isabella: Aren't you gonna need a pit crew?

Phineas: Do you know a pit crew?

Isabella: Well, I know a few people who work well together.

Phineas: Great! You're hired! See you at the track! (To Ferb) Hey Ferb, where's Perry?

(Scene shifts to Perry's lair)

Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons completely unknown, he's purchased a giant airship, or blimp as the kids say. Your mission is to find out why, and if necessary, put a stop to it.

Doo be doo be doo ba Doo be doo be doo ba

Perry!

(Scene shifts to the race track)

Isabella: Hi Phineas. I got your pit crew.

(Show the Fireside Girls lined up behind Isabella) Phineas: Cool! See ya in the pits!

Isabella: Okay, girls. We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam and a limited slip differential.

Gretchen: Would that be electronically fuel-injected?

Candace: Phineas! Phineas! PHINEAS!

Man: Hey! I can't hear the cars!

Jeremy: Hey, Candace! I didn't know you were a racing fan!

Candace: Jeremy. (Slaps) Who, me? Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm a big fan of those, uh, uh, that red one's cute!

Jeremy: Oh, that's Billy Ray Digler's car. He's great.

Candace: Yeah. He's the best. That Billy Roy.

Jeremy: Billy Ray.

Candace: Billy Ray. I-I love it when he turns left and then... he turns... left again, and then-

Dave: And in the 3rd lane, the newcomers Team Phineas! Now is it just me, or does he look a little young to be behind the wheel of a 700 horse power racing machine?

Rick: Yes, yes he does!

Dave: And look! He's already got his own screaming fans!

Candace: (On screen) PHINEAS!

Phineas: Hey, Candace is rooting for us!

Jeremy: Candace, you're on the big screen!

Candace: (On screen, slow mo) PHINNNNNEEEEEAAAAAAS!

Jeremy: Your little brother's gonna be on TV!

Candace: Phineas? On TV? TV! That's it! They are so busted. Can you wait here for a second? Thanks.

(Scene shifts to the Garcia-Shapiro house)

Linda: What is it, Candace? I'm right in the middle of a 3-No trump.

Candace: Turn on the TV!

Linda: All right. All right, Candace. This better be good.

(TV static)

Candace: Well? Well? Do you see it?

Linda: Just a second, honey.

Vivian: Turn on the cable box first.

Linda: Hmm. All right. (CD ejects) Wait... 'kay, that's not it. Um, is it this one? No, this is another phone.

-Summer only lasts-

Oh! I turned on the stereo!

Candace: Mom, hurry up!

Linda: Okay! Just a second!

TV Narrator: Are you embarrassed about flaking? Itching? Peeling?

Linda: Candace, This is a dandruff commercial. Is there something you're trying to tell me?

(Scene shifts to the race track)

Phineas: Okay, Ferb. Are we good to go?

(Ferb gives a thumbs up)

Rick: And with the race about to start, there's the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated blimp!

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! I'm glad you're here. Actually, I was just getting ready to serve some PLATYPUS UNDER GLASS! You're just in time to witness my latest invention! My Deflate-inator Ray! Which I will demonstrate by deflating the tires of the Jefferson Motor County Speedway! After which, I will deflate everything in the Tri-State Area! That way, if anyone want's anything flatted, they will have to talk to me.

(Scene shifts to the race track)

Candace: Phineas, you are in big trouble, Mister-! (Cars zoom past her, leaving her burnt)

Jeremy: Candace, you got a little-

Photographer: (Snapshot) Smile! Souvenir picture, only a dollar.

(Candace looks at her picture. She is burnt and Jeremy is staring confused) Candace: AAH! Wait a second. (Grabs camera)

Photographer: HEY!

Candace: (Takes a picture of Phineas driving) Now I gotcha.

Photographer: (Snatches picture) Hey, Missy. Two pictures, two bucks.

Candace: Oh, yeah, uh, I've only got a dollar, but uh, I just want the one. You can just tear the other one up, 'kay?

Photographer: (Rips one picture)

Candace: I've got 'em now! (Laughing)

Rick: And on the fast on the inside lane is Number 42, Team Phineas!

Phineas: Hey, Ferb. Do you think we can get any more power? I mean, I know it's just a battery. But I was thinking: Let's open it up and see what this puppy can- (Classic car honking) Uh, Ferb? We're actually slowing down now. Ferb? Hello? (Car speeds up) ''OHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAH! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!''

(Telephone rings)

Isabella: Hey, Ferb. We should bring Phineas in for a pit stop. All right, Fireside Girls, let's move, move move!

(The girls work on fixing the car)

Isabella: That helmet looks so manly.

Phineas: Thanks.

Isabella: Hit it, Ferb. (The car takes off) I'm so proud of you girls. And the bow was a nice touch, Gretchen.

(Engine whirring)

(Scene shifts to the D.E.I blimp)

Doofenshmirtz: (Laughing) Listen to those fools, as they worship their candy-colored race car man. How about a little demonstration of my deflationary prowess? (Fires laser)

(Scene shifts to the race track)

Man #2: I got it! (Ball hissing, tires screeching)

Race Car Driver: AAH! (Tires screeching, rams a sign)

(Song: Go, Go, Phineas)

(Crash)

Rick: The Team Phineas car is avoiding every obstacle! It's like he can see the whole darn track at once!

(Guitar solo)

Isabella/Fireside Girls: Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas! (X2)

Phineas: OH YEAH!

Isabella/Fireside Girls: Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas! (X2)

Racers: We're okay! (Car zooms by)

(Scene shifts to the Garcia-Shapiro house)

Candace: Well Mom, what do you think of this?

Linda: You've looked better.

Candace: What?! What do you mean -- (Looks to see she brought the picture of herself burnt. Horror music is heard) Candace: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Scene shifts to the D.E.I. blimp)

Doofenshmirtz: Already they fear me, listen to their screams, huh? Imagine the mayhem once my Deflate-Inator ray is fully charged. (at the mouse in the machine) Run! Run like the wind, my little indentured rodent, and I will give you some cheese! Heh, I know I had some around here somewhere.

(Perry pulls out a briefcase filled with cheeses; Grabs stinky cheese and loads it onto a crossbow.)

Doofenshmirtz: I think there's some- There used to be some Roquefort around the back here. I don't...

(Perry fires the crossbow.)

(Mouse squeaking)

Doofenshmirtz: Hmm? AIEE! (Screaming) AIEE! (Glass breaks) Agh! Oof! (Laser fires, Blimp deflating) Hmm. I suppose I should have seen that coming.

(Scene shifts to the Garcia-Shapiro house)

Candace: But Mom, you've got to believe me! Wait a minute! I bet it's still on TV!

Linda: That's good, Candace. Go watch a little TV.

(Scene on TV freezes as Phineas wins the race) Dave: And look at this amazing finish!

Candace: (Stammering) Mom! Come quick! Come look-look-look-look-look!

Linda: All right, I'm coming! (Candace giggles mischievously)

Dave: Oh no! A blimp is about to hit the broadcasting tower! Oh, the hu- (The TV goes to static. Candace sits there tired)

Linda: Uh huh.

Candace: Meep!

Linda: Deal me back in, Viv.

(Scene shifts to the race track)

(Tires squealing, car zooms off)

Phineas: Hmm. Looks like we're walking.

Doofenshmirtz: AAH!

(Candace walks back to the Flynn-Fletcher house)

Candace: (Mimicking Linda) "Why don't you go back home, Candace?" "I'm busy with my bridge game, Candace?" She has NO IDEA!!! (echo)

(Candace looks behind her to see the garage empty. Crickets chirp in the background.)

Candace: (Gasps) Gotcha.

(Scene shifts to Perry and Doofenshmirtz fighting)

Doofenshmirtz: AHH-AHH-AHH-AHH-AHH! AAH!

(Beeping)

(EXPLOSION!)

(Back with Candace...)

Candace: (Runs up to Vivian's house and repeatedly knocks on the door hard) MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!

Vivian: Oh, Candace, Hello! I can't believe you grown so much, it's unbelievable!

Candace: (Goes to the living room) MOM! Mom, you've gotta see this! It's about your car!

Linda: All right.

Candace: (literally pushes Lunda across the street) Come on, Come on, Come on!

Linda: Candace, you're wearing out the heels of my shoes.

''(The garage...)  Candace: (Opens door to garage, does not look ahead)'' See Mom? Look, look! I told you?

Linda: (Gasps) But...who did this?

Candace: Phineas and Ferb.

Linda: You mean...they...?

Candace: Yeah, yeah, yeah! (Laughing)

Linda: (overjoyed) They washed my car?!''  Candace: (mood changing with each word)'' Yes -- no -- WHAT?

(Her perspective, the car is back, clean with nothing on it. Perry walks by and chatters)

Linda: It's beautiful!

Candace: (jaw drops)

Linda: I gotta admit, I thought you we're exaggerating a bit, but this is really worth getting excited about.

Phineas: (walking in the background, trophy in hand) Hi, Mom! We're home!

Linda: Hey, Boys! I saw what you did today!

Phineas: (Oblivious to Linda) Yeah? How'd you like it?

Linda: I love it! Now who wants some snacks?

Phineas: Thanks, Mom!

Linda: (At Candace) Honey, close your mouth.

(Iris out and Candace does not close her mouth on the still shot.)

End Credits
(Song: Go, Go, Phineas)

(Guitar solo)

Isabella/Fireside Girls: Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas! (X2)

Phineas: OH YEAH!

Isabella/Fireside Girls: Go Phineas! Go, go Phineas!

Cast
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