Phineas and Ferb Save Summer/Transcript

Act 1
(Song: Summer All Over the World)

(The show's logo with episode's title appears a black background, and the scene fades up into Danville Park where a concert is taking place. It is Phineas and the gang performing. Buford begins with his drums. Isabella comes in with the bass, followed by Ferb on rhythm guitar and Phineas on lead guitar.)

Phineas: Hot dogs, cotton candy,

Tire swings and barbecue,

In the shade, in the sun

Ev'rywhere's a rockin' view,

As long as we're together,

Doesn't matter what we do!

Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Bike ridin' down a hill,

Slammin' out a screen door,

Steaks sizzle on the grill,

Waves crashin' on the shore,

It's beautiful from here

And you know you want some more!

Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

(Cut to England where Phineas and the gang also seem to be performing in different costumes.)

Phineas: Get ready, ev'rybody!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Get up on your feet...

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

(Cut to Mardi Gras in New Orleans where Phineas and the gang are now on a parade float in different costumes.)

Phineas: And let your body feel the beat!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Come on and rock the curve!

All: 'Cause it's summer, summer all over the world!

Ev'ry boy and ev'ry girl,

Jump up and say,

Ooh! Yeah!

Ooh! Ooh! Yeah!

Well, if not the world,

Then at least in the Northern Hemisphere

The other half is in a different time of year

But they can still say,

Ooh! Yeah!

Ooh! Ooh! Yeah!

Phineas: Hello, world! Welcome to our musical tribute to summer! And if you're wondering what we're doing today...

Isabella: ...we're reaching out to everyone to share our love of summer!

Baljeet: Using Ferbographic technology, we are simulcasting our virtual selves around the planet!

Phineas: To put it simply, we're joining you to celebrate around the world, all from the comfort of our own backyard!

Ev'ry corner of the world, yeah!

Phineas: And now help us in welcoming a very special guest and the visual metaphor for the carefree days of summer, Perry the Platypus!

(Crowd cheers, then gasps as the Perry hologram disappears)

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

(Cut to a car driving.)

Carl: (offscreen) Gosh, sir. I've never been to a cadet graduation before. (Cut to inside the car to reveal Carl driving while Monogram and Perry are in the back.) I hope I'm not underdressed.

Major Monogram: No, you're fine, Carl. Not everything's about you, you know. (A beeping sound is heard. Monogram pushes a button on the TV monitor beneath him and a highly decorated colonel appears onscreen.) Hello, Colonel Contraction.

Colonel Contraction: Greetings, Major! I just wanna wish you good luck on today's event! I've got the cake, and I'll be on my way just as soon as I'm done skimming out my kid's pool.

Major Monogram: Very good, sir. This year's event will be held at the Knights of Danville Hall, Ballroom B.

Colonel Contraction: Ballroom B? Isn't that a shared space?

Major Monogram: Just another money-saving idea of mine, sir.

Colonel Contraction: I don't know, Major. What about security?

Major Monogram: Oh, don't worry, sir. No one will know it's us. We're registered as the "Capulet Bat Mitzvah".

Colonel Contraction: Hmm, well, you have my utmost confidence, Major. But it goes without saying, any mishap could cost you your position. Contraction out!

Major Monogram: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I've got a good feeling about this!

(Awkward silence.)

(Cut to an exterior shot of the Knights of Danville Hall.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Nice goin', Norm! (Cut to backstage where Doof is having a talking-to to Norm.) Next time someone asks for volunteers to host the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. Service Awards, say your own name, Mr. Blabbermouth!

Norm: But, sir, I made all the arrangements for you.

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, and a fine job you did, too. We are sharing the space with another event!

Norm: What's wrong with that?

Doofenshmirtz: What's wrong with it? Do you realize what would happen if all the other evil organizations found out we were sharing? They'd be all, "Oh, look! There goes L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.! They share! They're cocky and uncoordinated and don't wear name-brand jeans!" "Well, maybe people can't afford designer jeans, Julie!

(beat)

Norm: Wow, that was...

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard it.

Norm: Well, don't worry, sir. No one will know it's our event. We're registered as the "Hatfield Wedding Reception".

Doofenshmirtz: Well, let's hope nobody knows it's us. (walks off) Now, get out of my way, you perfunctory party planner.

(Cut to a panning shot of Ballroom B as it is revealed that both OWCA and L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. are sharing the space.)

Carl: (offscreen) Sir, may I offer you one of my budget-saver hors d'ouevers before you go on? It's an old family recipe. Strips of bologna and wadded-up white bread.

Major Monogram: Where exactly are you from?

Carl: Chula Vista.

Major Monogram: Hmmm. Nevermind, Carl. It's showtime! (Cut to the stage) Hello, everyone! Welcome to the O.W.C.A. Graduation Ceremony!

(All the OWCA agents make excitable noises. Cut to the other space. Doof walks onstage.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hello, and welcome to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s first annual... (The agents' cheering is still heard. Doof speaks louder.) I said, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s FIRST ANNUAL DISSERVICE AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!!!! So, who's ready to have some fun?

Major Monogram: What the heck is all that racket? I'm just gonna go over there and tell them to keep it down. I'll be polite but firm. (He opens the divider to reveal Doof, as a record scratch is heard, then he closes it up again.) Huh. What are the odds?

Doofenshmirtz: (reopening the divider) Wait, you're the Capulet Bar Mitzvah?

Major Monogram: You're the Hatfield Wedding?

(The agents and the villains make angry noises.)

Major Monogram: Alright, everyone, take it easy. Just calm down. No reason to get upset. We've got a massive security deposit on this place. So, everybody just...

Parrot: Rawk! Polly wants a streetfight!

(A huge western-style fight breaks out, which is interrupted by a man opening the ballroom door.)

Man: Hup! Sorry to interrupt, I'll come back when you're done.

(The man leaves and the fight resumes.)

Major Monogram: We are so gonna lose our deposit.

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house.)

Linda: (offscreen) Here's your stuff from the attic, Candace.

(Cut to Candace's bedroom.)

Linda (cont'd): I don't know why you couldn't find it.

Candace: I don't know, Mom. It must've been behind something. Heh heh.

Linda: Candace, you didn't go up there at all, did you?

Candace: Oh, Mom, I just couldn't go up there. It's all gross and webby.

Linda: Candace Flynn, don't tell me you're still afraid of spiders.

Candace: Pfft! Spiders? Are you kidding? Why would I be afraid of an itsy bitsy SPIDER!??!?! (jumps up to the top shelf) Aah! Ahh! Ew ew ew ew!

Linda: Oh, for crying out loud. It's a hair clip. That looks nothing like a spider.

Candace: (chuckles) I knew that! I'm just showing you how silly it is to be afraid of a little spider.

Linda: Mmhmm. Well, you got your box. Now I have to go.

Candace: Where are you going?

Linda: Your dad and I are going spelunking.

Candace: Spelunking? You mean, like, in a cave?

Linda: It's a journey of self-discovery while crawling around in a hole. Your dad found it on a group coupon website.

Candace: (sarcastically) Yeah, that sounds fun

Linda: Just remember, you're in charge, Miss Muffet.

(Cut back to the fight. Contraction enters carrying a cake.)

Colonel Contraction: Alright, Major, here's the ca--Oh! (He sees the results of the fight. The whole room is a mess and agents are groaning in defeat.) Ateahoo!

Major Monogram: (gets up and salutes) Colonel Contraction, sir!

Colonel Contraction: Major Monogram, I hold you personally responsible for turning one of our most sacred ceremonies into a grade A countrified debacle!

Major Monogram: Debacle?

Colonel Contraction: DEBACLE! Now normally, I'd be able to forgive this kind of thing because of your tireless dedication and spotless record to OWCA, but it's clear to me that you lost our security deposit and that is something I cannot forgive. I'm forced to relieve you of command. I'll take that... (rips off the first "M" on Monogram's uniform) and that! (rips off his mustache)

Monogram: Actually, sir, that mustache was mine.

Colonel Contraction: Not anymore. (leaves, then reenters) DEBACLE!!! Carl the Intern, until a replacement can be found, (puts mustache on Carl) you are provisionally in charge. (salutes) Congratulations, Provisional Unpaid Major-in-Charge Carl!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Major, I...I don't...

Monogram: Carl, be strong. I must step down. We must all do our duty. (The agents hum "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" under this.) And that is what our, I mean, your organization is built upon. People following orders.

(He leaves both with pride and shame.)

(Cut back to Candace's bedroom where she's going through her box.)

Candace: Oh, cool, my old tiara. Ooh, sparkly! (picks up a videocassette) Hey, I don't remember this. Hmm. (reads) "For: Future Candace!" Hey, wait a minute! I'm Future Candace! There's gotta be a machine around here that still plays these things.

(Cut to the backyard where Phineas and the gang are still doing their virtual concert. Candace approaches her brother.)

Candace: Phineas!

Phineas: Oh, hi, Candace! Nice outfit.

Candace: Nice glasses.

Phineas: Thanks! We're using them to simulcast ourselves all around the world.

(Cut to London where Candace is dressed as a royal guard.)

Candace: Sh-sh-sh-sh! No time! I need to watch this.

(Cut to Paris where Phineas is dressed in a beret and a striped shirt and neckerchief.)

Phineas: A videocassette? Wow, going old school, huh?

(Cut to the Swiss Alps where Candace is dressed like a Swiss Miss.)

Candace: Right? So how do I watch it?

(Cut to Phineas dressed as a Swiss yodeler.)

Phineas: Well, Dad has a universal video player in the garage.

(Cut to Japan where they are all anime characters doing the dance from Summer Belongs to You.)

Candace: Where in the garage?

(Cut to Mardi Gras.)

Phineas: 12 degrees northwest of the washing machine.

(In Soviet Russia, scene cut to you!)

Candace: Thanks. Carry on with your non-bustable activity. (She leaves.)

Phineas: Everyone, give it up for our sister, Candace Flynn!

(Crowd cheers.)

(Cut to a sign reading "Tri-State State Park Donkey Caverns". Zoom out to reveal the caves. Cut to inside the caves where Linda and Lawrence are wearing their spelunking gear with a rather nebbish looking tour guide.)

Tour Guide: Are you folks ready for a little adventure?

Lawrence: Oh, yes, we're ready for our journey of self-discovery while crawling through the belly of the Earth.

Tour Guide: Say what?

Lawrence: Well, like the ad said, "Inner Spelunking with Soul".

Tour Guide: What?! Oh, no, no, no! It's supposed to be "Saul", S-A-U-L. That's my name, Saul. There will be absolutely no self-discovery.

Lawrence: Awww.

Linda: You go on and self-discover, hun.

(Cut to the garage. Candace uncovers a tarp and discovers the universal video player. She puts the tape inside and sees a five-year-old version of herself onscreen.)

Young Candace: (onscreen) Keep the camera thteady, Thtacy.

Candace: Aw, look, it's me! Aw, I was so cute!

Young Candace: (on video) Thith ith Candathe Flynn. I'm five yearth old and it wath an awethome thummer! But I didn't get to do everything I wanted. Tho I made a litht of thingth that I want Future Candathe to take care of.

Candace: Oh, that's so cute. Of course, I'll take care of those things, Past Candace!

Young Candace: (on video) First on the list, invent an ice cream flavor, win a first-grade spelling bee, ride a unicorn. Tho if you're watching, Future Candathe, don't—

Young Stacy: (offscreen) Candace, don't forget number four, conquer fear of spiders.

Young Candace: (on video) Okay, that one creepth me out a little bit, but that should be no problem for you, Future Candathe!

Candace: But, but-but-but...But I'm "Future Candathe"!

(Cut to:)

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

(The doorbell rings, and Doof answers.)

Doofenshmirtz: Just a minute, I'm mopping. (opens the door) Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus, long time, no see. Say, that was some morning we had, huh? Too bad about Major Monogram, but the show must go on or a bird in the bush, eh-eh, I dunno. (Perry gets trapped in hardening foam.) Ha! You like that? It's a gift...foam-a me to you! Get it? As much as I like our little visits, you didn't need to come over. Actually, I'm not even trying to take over the Tri-State Area today. Y-You see, I have a problem. I am very fair-skinned. I don't know if you have noticed. I always have to use SPF 120 sunscreen even on a cloudy day or I'll burn. I mean, I'll actually burst into flames. And I got this whole crate on sale, and, and look, it's all 110 SPF! I thought I was getting 120! This is not gonna work. So rather than return this whole mess, which means I'd have to get in the car, drive down there, wait in line, then answer a bunch of questions about the delicacy of my epidermis, I'm just gonna move the Earth away from the sun just enough that the 110 will work. Simple. And to that end, I have created, tada!, my Shift-The-Earth's-Position-Further-Away-From-The-Sun-inator! Eh? I know. The name's a little cumbersome, but it's basically a tractor beam that uses the mass of Jupiter as an anchor to pull the Earth just slightly away from the sun to render my sunscreen effective. Eh. I guess my fortune cookie was right. I do tend to overcomplicate things. (picks up fortune) I wonder if that means these lottery numbers are--

(Perry punches Doof and the fight is on. Doof swipes his mop and Perry rides on it.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hmm? (Perry taps Doof's shoulder and grabs his nose.)

(Doof swipes the mop and Perry slides backwards on the crate and slams into the fire button on the inator. It works. It functions properly.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hee hee hee! You fired my inat-- (gets splashed by the wet mop)

(Cut to the virtual concert where the Earth is quaking. The crowd stops partying and starts screaming.)

Buford: Whoa! What was that?

Phineas: We are rockin' this place!

Act 2
(Open on the Earth being pulled towards Jupiter. Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Cut to Candace's bedroom with Candace and Stacy inside.)

Stacy: Candace, what is that?

Candace: I don't know, but I can guess. (Shouts out the window.) Phineas, what is going on out there?!

Phineas: I don't know. It wasn't us. But we can find out. Irving, take over the concert for us!

Irving: All I know how to sing is one camp song.

Isabella: Then you rock that camp song, Irving!

(The gang leaves the virtual platform and Irving steps on and puts on his goggles.)

Irving: Um, okay. Here's a campfire song my mother taught me.

(Song: Irving's Camp Song)

Irving: Oh, never lick a tree below the dog line,

If it's brown and sticky, do not pick it up (Unless it's a stick.)

Banjo-playing hicks should be avoided,

And it's no joke, that poison oak is not a friendly shrub.

With a diddly-diddly-doo and a doodly-doodly-dee,

Something horrible will happen if you don't listen to me.

(The song continues under.)

Phineas: Well, according to the pocket barometer, the atmospheric pressure has lowered dramatically since this morning.

Buford: You checked the atmospheric pressure this morning?

Phineas: Yeah. I check it every morning. After I brush my teeth.

Buford: You brush your teeth every morning?

Phineas: Well, yeah.

Buford: Huh. (beat, to Baljeet) He thinks he's better than us.

Phineas: Oh, no! Duck! (the gang ducks) No, I mean, like, a whole lot of ducks. Look! (Cut to the sky to reveal a whole of ducks flying in their "v" formation.) They look like they're migrating south. Guys, I think something's weird with the weather.

Baljeet: We should monitor the conditions in the upper atmosphere. I have a weather balloon.

Buford: Why would you have a weather balloon?

Baljeet: Buford, you have full-sized molds of all of us.

(beat)

Buford: We should use Baljeet's weather balloon!

(Cut to Candace's bedroom.)

Stacy: Wow, I remember this list!

Candace: Yep, Stace, I promised five-year-old me that I'd do everything on that list.

Stacy: Well, let's see what you gotta do. "Invent a new ice cream flavor, win a first-grade spelling bee, ride a unicorn, and conquer fear of spiders." Ha! Good luck with that last one.

Candace: What are you talking about?

Stacy: Candace, everyone knows you're terrified of spiders.

Candace: Pfft. Spiders? Are you kidding? Why would I be afraid of an itsy bitsy SPIDER!?!?!?! AAAH! AHHH! GET IT! GET IT! EW EW EW EW EW!!

Stacy: Oh, I remember this hair clip.

(Cut to the caverns.)

Saul: Most people don't think life can survive down this deep, but most people don't know gastropods the way I do. Take a gander at this salamander. Notice anything unusual?

Lawrence: Oh, yes, his gills are on the outside of his body.

Saul: They are? Ew! Oh! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Lawrence: (to Linda) It didn't have any eyes either.

Linda: Thanks for not mentioning that.

(Song: Doof 'N' Puss (instrumental))

(Cut to OWCA Headquarters. Perry uses the retina scan and a robotic arm comes out and he performs the secret handshake with it.)

Computer: You may enter.

(The door opens and a chicken flies out. He walks inside the office and it is complete chaos all around. None of the agents are wearing their fedoras and are simply acting like their mindless selves.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: (whispering) Psst! Agent P, down here! (Cut to reveal Major-in-Charge Carl hiding in a kennel. Agent P approaches him.) Is that goat still eating out of the inbox? (Perry nods.) It's a good thing I hid the outbox.

Monty: Carl!

Perry: (chatters)

Monty: Oh, Agent P, what's going on? It's like a zoo in here. Where is my dad?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Your father's been fired.

Monty: Fired? Really?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yes! And all the animal agents are going crazy! (Monty opens the kennel and Major-in-Charge Carl crawls out.) On the upside, I've been promoted.

Monty: Yes, I see the mustache. (A printer is heard whirring. Monty takes out the paper.) Looks like you got a message.

Major-in-Charge Carl: It's intel from Agent Squab, our French surveillance pigeon. Hmm, there's a small shift in ambient temperature, there's civil unreasonableness at City Hall, and L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. is convening for a secret meeting?! Oh no! Why did this have to happen on my watch?!

Monty: Wait a minute, you got all that from this?

(Cut to the letter to reveal it is just slashes and foot markings.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yeah, that's how Agent Squab types, all hunt-and-peck.

Monty: Well, Carl, you're in charge. What are you gonna do about it?

Major-in-Charge Carl: You mean besides freak out?!

Monty: Get a hold of yourself. You know this agency as well as my dad. Maybe better. These agents just need leadership. Think: "What Would Major Monogram Do?"

Major-in-Charge Carl: You're right! (to the goat) Agent G, quit eating those memos and get out into the field! (to the dog) Agent D, go see what you can dig up! (to the owl) Agent O, go find out who's who! Agent Possum, play dead! (Agent Possum does so.) Excellent! (To the bear who is shredding documents) Agent B, go into the woods and...see what's out there! And the rest of you, get out there and fight evil! Agent P, I want you to go out to City Hall and get a reading on the situation there and then report back to me.

(Perry salutes and takes off.)

Monty: (puts on fedora) What about me, Carl? I can go spy on L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. if you--

Major-in-Charge Carl: Oh, no, no, Monty. I can't let you do that. That's...that's crazy! You're not even an animal.

Monty: We've got no choice, Carl. We're all gonna have to wear different hats today...and mustaches.

Major-in-Charge Carl: Hey, Monty?

Monty: What?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Thanks

Monty: No problem. Oh, and, uh, (takes off fedora) can I have a different hat? This one smells like a litter box.

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yeah, you should smell this thing.

(Cut to Monogram now working the drive-thru at Mr. Slushy Dawg.)

Monogram: Morning, your mission today: battle the forces of darkness and keep the Tri-State Area safe from evil-doers.

Driver: Uh, come again?

(Song: Slushy the Clown (instrumental))

Monogram: Oh, sorry. Force of habit. (gives the driver his order) Here's your order. Enjoy your Slushy Dawg. (The driver drives away. Monogram turns to Jeremy.) So, uh, how'm I doin', boss?

Jeremy: Yeah, this is the part of the job I hate the most, but...

Monogram: Yep. Say no more, sir. I completely understand. You don't have to fire me. (He takes off his uniform and gives it to Jeremy.) I resign.

Jeremy: But--

Monogram: (leaves, saluting, half-naked) Say no more. (hums)

Jeremy: But...but... I was just gonna ask him to clean the bathroom. (walks up to a female employee) Um, Dolores, this is the part of the job I hate the most.

Dolores: Oh, for crying out loud, just give me the mop.

(Cut to a newsstand where Stacy is reading off the list and Candace is riding a donkey with a horn on it and holding an ice cream cone in one hand and a trophy in the other.)

Stacy: Okay, let's see. "Invent a new ice cream flavor."

Candace: Grilled cheese!

Stacy: Check. "Win a first grade spelling bee."

Candace: Clover. C-L-O-V-E-R. Those stupid kids never knew what hit 'em!

Stacy: Check. "Ride a unicorn."...Of sorts.

Candace: Dreams can come true, Stacy!

Stacy: There's just one more thing on the list. Get over your fear of spiders.

Candace: No, I refuse! Quickly, Rainbow, we must away! Fly, now, fly! On, proud beauty! Fly, fly!

Rainbow: Aw hee haw hee haw!

(Cut to Danville City Hall.)

Gordon Gutsofanemu: Danville is in chaos. Summer has become slightly cooler. Some sources have gone far as to say, "brisk". We have word that the Mayor is about to address this slight drop in temperature. Let's listen.

Roger: (wearing a sweatshirt) Citizens of Danville, I want to assure you that your slight discomfort is of utmost importance to me and I will do everything in my power to...recommend you wear a cardigan or light sweater.

Woman #1: But all my sweaters are ugly and Christmas themed!

Roger: Well, then, just wear warmer clothes.

Man #1: Warmer clothes? Do you know how dumb I would look wearing socks with flip-flops? (to the crowd) Hey, his sweater looks nice and warm. Get it!

(The citizens become an angry mob and storm the steps.)

Roger: People, people. Look look look, take-take it easy. I'm still your mayor!

(Perry rescues Roger from the mob in his rocket car and places him on top of the roof.)

Roger: Thank you, good Samaritan platypus! (Perry leaves him there.) Although I'm not sure this is much of an improvement. I mean, I really don't know how to get down from here...and it's getting noticeably colder up here. Oh! It's a good thing I wore my sweater.

(Cut to Baljeet's weather balloon.)

Baljeet: Well, according to the conditions in the upper atmosphere...

(Cut to the gang now in their Christmas clothes outside Baljeet's house.)

Baljeet (cont'd): ...we are in for a moderate cold front that shows absolutely no signs of subsiding.

Phineas: That's odd. I can't remember a single Danville summer where I needed to wear anything more than a T-shirt.

Isabella: Striped.

Phineas: And shorts.

Isabella: Blue cargo.

Baljeet: But the part that perplexes me the most is that, for some reason, the sun algorithm that I created keeps coming up with the wrong result!

Buford: 'Splain?

Baljeet: The diameter of the sun can be calculated from the distance between the Earth and the sun. Since we know the time taken for the Earth to go once around the sun, p=1 year, and the distance traveled by the Earth in this process, 2πa...

(During this, Buford starts to fall asleep.)

Baljeet: BUFORD!!!

Buford: Stop 'splainin'! Stop splainin'!

Isabella: So that would mean the Earth has moved?

Phineas: Apparently so.

Isabella: Well, that would explain why it's noticeably colder. (Cut to Irving still singing)

Irving: Your sinew's torn apart by a grizzly...  (shivers) Freezing!

Your large intestines wrapped around a tree... Does anyone have a sweater?

(Cut back to Phineas.)

Phineas: I think we're gonna have to run some more tests.

(Cut to an abandoned animal shelter. Monty is seen climbing up a pipe and into the building.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Now, why do we always have to meet in drafty abandoned warehouses? I mean, why can't we meet in a drafty abandoned poolside cabana?

Dr. Bloodpudding: Oh ho ho ho! I'm bananas for cabanas!

Dr. Diminutive: Right?

Rodney: Okay, enough of that! Gentlemen, it's time we pooled our resources! Both OWCA and City Hall are in a panic and I believe now is the time to strike! Now, the last time we confronted those OWCA agents, we barely got out of there with our lives! (The villains agree.) It's time to play dirty! We'll stealthily capture them one at a time and imprison them here!

Villain #1: Yeah!

Villain #2: Gang up on them!

Villain #3: We can make it a musical number!

Rodney: Secondly, no one under any circumstances, is allowed to say "bananas for cabanas."

Dr. Bloodpudding: (offscreen) Noted.

Rodney: And third, which one of you moved the Earth away from the sun and changed the weather?

Doofenshmirtz: Uh, that would be me?

Rodney: Doofenshmirtz? You've finally made an inator that actually works?

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, all of my inators work! It's just that, you know, I...I don't use them properly. I have poor planning skills. (takes out blueprints) But it was me. I've the blueprints right here. (The villains all look in amazement.) Yeah, you see, just ignore the coffee stain or whatever that is. (sniffs) Uh, I think that's nacho cheese.

Rodney: Gentlemen, we will now begin our takeover of...the world!

Monty: (gasps, then covers his mouth)

Rodney: What was that?

(Cut to Monty.)

Dr. Diminutive: (offscreen) Maybe the building's settling.

Rodney: (offscreen) So to you, a building settling sounds like someone inhaling sharply?

Dr. Diminutive: (offscreen) Well, I live in a strange building.

Monty: I've got to warn Carl.

Rodney: (offscreen) Okay, tell me you didn't hear that!

Dr. Diminutive: (offscreen) Still the building settling.

Rodney: So our building has a sudden urge to warn Carl?

(Cut to the Danville Insect Emporium.)

Stacy: (offscreen) Come on, Candace!

(Cut to inside at the Spider Pavillion.)

Stacy (cont'd): It's the last thing on the list.

Candace: I know I know I know I know okay, here I go! (Walks in nervously.) Ugh! I can't!

Stacy: I don't understand what the big deal is.

Candace: It's just the legs and the hair and all those eyes! And why do they have so many eyes?!

Stacy: There's nothing to be afraid of. Spiders are harmless. (opens a cage) Look. I'm sticking my hand in the cage. Hello there, little guy. (gets bitten) Huh!

(Screen flips to Stacy being carried away in an ambulance.)

Candace: Poor Stacy. My fear of spiders got Stacy bitten. (happily) But saved me! Yes! Looks like it's just you and me now, Rainbow.

Rainbow: Aw hee haw hee haaaaawwww!

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house.)

Phineas: Alright, Isabella, let me have it one more time.

(Cut to the backyard, where Isabella is experimenting with a tennis ball.)

Isabella: Well, according to our data, this is the relative position of the sun, and this is where the Earth should be on its orbit this summer. But for some reason, we're here. (sighs) Tennis balls don't lie. (Throws the ball.)

Phineas: Every test scenario we run comes back with the same results. It just seems impossible. (throws the ball to Baljeet)

Baljeet: Aaah! But it is true! The Earth has moved away from the sun and now summer is gone!

Buford: Big deal! So this summer's over. There's always next summer.

Phineas: No, Buford. If we don't do something soon, summer will be gone forever!

(Dramatic music plays, which is revealed to be Ferb conducting a small orchestra.)

Ferb: What? I'm expressing how I feel through music.

Act 3
(Song: O.W.C.A.'s Goin' Down) (Open up on a West Side Story-style helicopter shot of Danville with someone whistling in the background. Zoom in on an empty court where the members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. are snapping their fingers in an imitation of the Jets.)

L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.: Evil team up,

Dastardly scheme up,

Takin' them to town,

Gonna catch 'em,

Throw 'em and fetch 'em,

Put them in the pound.

You kicked us around,

You mocked and offended,

The pages have turned,

Your chapter has ended

Now, 'cause O.W.C.A.'s goin' down.

That's right!

Don't eyeball me,

Just look askance,

Your team was run aground,

You say you didn't eat those plans,

But here's the ultrasound.

Your agency's over,

The whole thing is endin',

Check out our homepage

And see how we're trendin'!

O.W.C.A.'s goin' down! (Distract!)

O.W.C.A.'s goin' down! (Grab!)

O.W.C.A.'s goin' down! (Lasso!)

O.W.C.A.'s goin' down! (Nab!)

O.W.C.A.'s goin' down!

(Cut to a view of the Earth, which explodes. Suddenly some end credits appear on screen, all credited to Buford. Pull out to reveal it is a computer simulation.)

Buford: And that's what would happen if we grew magnets under the Earth's core.

Phineas: The credits were a nice touch.

Buford: Well, there's so many people behind the scenes that deserve a mention.

Phineas: I guess that's another course of action that's off the table. (crosses off a formula on the blackboard) Not too many ideas left.

Isabella: (shudders) But we have to figure out a way to save summer or it'll be gone forever!

Phineas: Well, Baljeet, what have you got?

Baljeet: I have composed a simulation for turning the Earth's core into a gyroscope. Maybe that would... (groans)

Buford: And roll credits!

Ferb: Sure hope this cold weather isn't affecting Mum and Dad's cave adventures.

(Cut to Saul.)

Saul: Okay, now we're gonna squeeze past this stalactite... I mean, stalagmite. Wait, which one is on top?

Lawrence: Actually, I believe that's just a hole.

Saul: I seem to be trapped! Turn away, folks! I'm gonna have to saw my arm off!

(Linda and Lawrence pull Saul out of the hole.)

Saul: That was a close one. Now, follow me!

Linda: Do you get the feeling that this might be his first time down here, too?

Saul: (offscreen, grunts as his light suddenly goes out) Dangit!

(Cut to the abandoned warehouse where Agent O gets trapped.)

Rodney: There we go! With that, we've captured all of OWCA's agents.

Doofenshmirtz: Almost all of them. Remember Perry the Platypus. He's still out there somewhere.

Rodney: Thank you for reminding me, Dr. Bringdown.

Villain #4: Excuse me, I'm Dr. Bringdown!

Rodney: Put a sock in it, David! (to Doof) Time to get to our press conference! Soon, the world will bow to us, like Doofy's neck bows to his back.

(The other villains laugh.)

Dr. Diminutive: His posture's poor.

Doofenshmirtz: Nice.

Rodney: Come on, Slouchy! Let's make ourselves some demands!

(Cut to Candace's room with Candace trying to get over her fear of spiders)

Candace: Hey there, little fella. You're not such a tough guy, are you, Mr. Spider? Aw, no you're not. No, not a bit. Ah, who ya kidding, Flynn? To face your fear, you gotta at least look. (gets creeped out by the spider) Ahh! Creepy crawly, creepy crawly, creepy crawly! Get off me, get off me, get off me, get off me! Ew, ew! I'm sorry, 5-year-old me. I tried. I really tried. (slaps herself) Snap out of it, current me! Summer's not over yet. (looks outside the window) Hey, wait a minute, summer's over? Who did th- oh... Phineas and Ferb. (runs downstairs) Phineas and Ferb, what did you do to summer?!

(cut to City Hall with the Evil Demands)

Man #2: Your fall is ruining summer.

Woman #2: You made me buy a blanket with sleeves!

Man #3: My toilet seat's cold.

Doofenshmirtz: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, kindly put a cork in it. So you've probably figured out that the Earth has moved away from the sun.

Rodney: And we at L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. are responsible. And now, we're here to extort you. And to that end, let me introduce you to Señor Killbot.

(Dr. Killbot walks in)

Dr. Killbot: ¿Donde esta la biblioteca? ''("Where is the library?")

Rodney: You know, in case any of you extortees speak Español. We don't want to leave anyone out.

Dr. Killbot: (speaks in Spanish)

Audience: Awwww...

Female: Aw, that's cute.

Doofenshmirtz: And that's our new logo. Foreboding, yet comforting. So basically, if you want us to put the Earth back in its proper orbit, you have to meet our list of demands. Number 1: the minimum height to get on any roller coaster will now be this high. (puts his hand three inches over Dr. Diminutive's head) (Diminutive puts Doof's hand on the very top of Diminutive's head) I mean that high. Number 2: pretzels.

Rodney: Really? That's how you give demands? Doofenshmirtz: What? What was wrong with that? I was gonna go for one of those big tubs from Lotsmo.

Rodney: You sounded like a bashful Santa Claus pitching softballs to a girl in a bikini.

Doofenshmirtz: Alright, number four... Wait, you don't know what that sounds like!

Rodney: Stand aside. (pushes Doof away from the podium) Listen, you dogs, with one small inator...

Doofenshmirtz: My inator!

Rodney: ...we've moved the Earth into an early autumn. Now, we, the collective scientific genius of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., have created an inizer ten times the size and strength! Capable of moving the Earth so far away from the sun, we'll bring about a new ice age! So, if you value your puny lives, you will meet all the demands on our list or pay the consequences!

Doofenshmirtz: Is it just me or is this getting out of hand?

Dr. Killbot: Quiera lucha tu casa. ("I want to fight your house.")

Act 4
(Open up on the Flynn-Fletcher house. Cut to the backyard.)

Candace: Seriously? Someone moved the Earth and it wasn't you?

Phineas: Not this time, no.

Candace: Any chance it could spontaneously go back to the way it was?

Phineas: We can't take that chance, Candace. We'll never have another summer if our plan doesn't work.

Candace: Plan? What plan?

Phineas: We're building this massive rocket engine to put on top of Mount Danville.

Candace: One measly rocket on one mountain isn't going to move the Earth, Phineas.

Phineas: (pointing to a splitscreen monitor) That's why we enlisted the help of other kids around the world. See? There's Floria and Abdul on Mount Kilimanjaro, Ganesh and Kabul on Mt. Everest, Vsevolod and Vanko at the top of Mount Elbrus, and Lupert and Eporwold on Mount Haggenhuge. Eporwold's the goat. While they finish fine-tuning, we'll move our rocket up to Mount Danville.

Candace: Then everyone turns them on, and the Earth goes back to the way it was?

Phineas: Sort of. But the burners all need to be synchronized through this control panel. Otherwise, we risk ripping the Earth's crust apart. Do you think you could stay here and help control the thrust?

Candace: These look like simple level controls.

Phineas: Yeah. Pretty much the same as a sound mixer, except this one controls five megarockets capable of ripping the Earth in half.

Candace: Why can't Irving do it?

Phineas: Oh, he would, but he's trending right now.

(Cut to Irving now rocking out on his camp song.)

Irving: Scorpions, parasites, black widows, rabies!

Sunburn, frostbite, head trauma, scabies!

Don't even get me started 'bout mosquitoes!

Malaria!

(Cut to OWCA Headquarters.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: (offscreen) Good morning, Agent P.

(Cut to reveal Major-in-Charge Carl practicing on a mirror pretending that it is the monitor.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: (different inflection) Good morning, Agent P. (to Agent P) Well, what do you think?

Monty: Carl, the evil scientists of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. have captured all of our agents!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Ugh! My first day on the job and all my agents get captured! W-What am I gonna do?

Monty: Simple, let's go get 'em!

Major-in-Charge Carl: But we're seriously outnumbered!

Monty: Maybe, but we have the advantage! We have the best agent with us and we have the element of surprise! We can't lose!

Major-in-Charge Carl: You're right! Perry, Monty, let's go rescue our agents! (They leave, but Major-in-Charge Carl tries it again with a different inflection in the mirror.) Let's go rescue our agents. Let's go... (Perry comes back with his hands on his hips.) Oh, I'm coming.

(Cut to Floria and Abdul on Mount Kilimanjaro. They close their rocket. Cut to the control panel. A red dot is seen blinking on a hologram of the Earth.)

Candace: Oh, there's Kilimanjaro! Phineas, Floria and Abdul's rocket is ready! That's all of them!

Phineas: (on radio) Great! (cut to outside where the rocket goes out for liftoff) Okay, Candace, we're on our way to Mount Danville! Lock down the capsule and stand by!

(Candace does so.)

Candace: Oh, I sure hope there aren't any spiders in here.

(Cut to Phineas and the gang in the rocket.)

Phineas: Okay, Ferb, let's put it down right there!

(Cut to Mount Danville. The rocket gets placed on the peak of the mountain.)

Phineas: C'mon, everyone! Let's get this thing online!

(He unties a rope and the gang all unpack.)

Isabella: (opening up a laptop) I'm linking up to the other rockets. Is everyone ready out there? Mount Elbrus?

Vanko: (on laptop) Check.

Isabella: Mount Kilimanjaro?

Abdul: (on laptop) Check.

Isabella: Mount Everest?

Kabul: (on laptop) Check.

Isabella: Mount Haggenhuge? (no response) Mount Haggenhuge?

Eporwold: (bleats on laptop)

Isabella: Uh-oh! Mount Haggenhuge, your rocket has gone offline! Can you fix it?

(Cut to Mount Haggenhuge. Eporwold headbutts the rocket in and it goes online. Cut back to Isabella.)

Isabella: All systems are green!

Phineas: (on radio) Check! Firing up Mount Danville!

(The rocket fires up.)

Isabella: Okay, Candace...

(Cut back to Candace.)

Isabella: (on radio) ...you're good to go!

Candace: Roger! Target destination activated! Engaging thrusters! (She slides the switches up and all the rockets fire up.) Phineas, it's working! The Earth is moving back into position!

(Cut to Phineas.)

Phineas: Fantastic, Candace! Just a couple more minutes and we'll have our summer back!

(Cut back to the abandoned warehouse.)

Rodney: Well, that was fun. (closeup to reveal Rodney and Doof carrying the grilled cheese flavored ice cream cones.) We should go get ice cream more often.

Doofenshmirtz: Didja have to order for all of us, Rodney? I'm not crazy about this new grilled cheese flavor.

Rodney: You get what you get and you don't get upset!

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, he's strict!

Rodney: I think we've given our world leaders enough time. Let's see if they submitted to our list of demands! (He activates the screen and several world leaders, including a dolphin, a Scottsman, a Japanese delegate, President Barack Obama, and a female Indian delegate appear onscreen.) Well, what have you got to say for yourselves?

President Obama: Uh...you'll be happy to know that we've...uhhhh...met all of your demands, except for the...uhhhhhhh....pretzel thing.

Rodney: What?! How dare you!! Do you know what this means?!

President Obama: Look, we're sorry. Uh...We had them, but the Vice President left the tub on the roof of the car, and we...uhhhhhhhh...

Rodney: No pretzels, no deal!

(He punches the red button. Cut to a view of the Earth.)

Rodney: (offscreen) You have doomed the Earth to perpetual winter!

(Cut to Candace as an alarm is heard blaring.)

Candace: Uh, Phineas, the holographic thingy shows that the Earth is moving in the wrong direction!

(Cut to Phineas.)

Phineas: Well, that makes no sense. It should be working.

(Cut to Candace.)

Candace: Maybe it needs more power. I'm increasing the burn!

(Cut to the rockets blaring. Cut back to Phineas.)

Phineas: No, Candace, don't!! Never push it into the red! That's a bad thing!! Turn down the thrusters!!!

Buford: This must be a special episode. He's yelling at his sister again.

(Cut to Candace as the control panel sparks and shuts down. She screams.)

Candace: Uh, Phineas, what happened?

(Cut to Phineas.)

Phineas: You must have overloaded the power relay on the control panel. You're gonna have to get a spare electromagnetic coupling fuse.

Candace: (on radio) Where would I find a thing like that?

Phineas: Ferb has one in a box in the attic.

Candace: (on radio) The attic?! Where all the spiders are?!

Phineas: Yeah, the attic.

(Cut to Candace's eyes as they widen in fear. Cut to the backyard and the city.)

Candace: (offscreen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

(Cut to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. as they hear the scream.)

Dr. Diminutive: That's just the building settling again.

Act 5
(Open on a view of the now frozen Earth. A caption on screen reads "August..." Fade in on the PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT!!!!!, now covered in snow. Cut to Danville, also completely frozen. Fade in on L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s headquarters.)

Rodney: (offscreen) Now the world knows that L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s not an organization to be trifled with!

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Yeah, meanwhile, you may have plunged the Earth into another ice age.

(Cut to Doof and Rodney.)

Rodney: The world is ours for the taking!

Doofenshmirtz: But this is crazy talk! I-I'm an evil scientist, not a mad scientist! Th-There's a difference! Subtle, I grant you, but, still, y'know, I don't really like the new direction this organization is taking and I think we need a little fresh air. (he walks out)

Rodney: You also need a chiropractor, Slouchy!

(The villains laugh.)

Dr. Diminutive: Good one! Because he slouches!

(Cut to a homeless and unkempt Monogram outside a building talking to a rat.)

Monogram: And as an agent, you get to wear a nifty fedora. I made that one out of an old newspaper. Yes, sir, OWCA is perfect for a guy like you, but-but, sadly, not for me.

(Doof walks up to Monogram.)

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, things are tough all over, bub.

Monogram: What? Doofenshmirtz?!

Doofenshmirtz: Wait, do...do I know you? (Monogram puts two fingers on his nose where his mustache once was.) Major Monogram? Francis, what happened to you? Look...y-y-y-you're a washed-up mess! This whole weather thing is your fault, you know!

Monogram: My fault?!

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, technically, it's my fault. But if you weren't sitting around in a cold alley whining to rats and feeling sorry for yourself, this whole situation wouldn't have gotten so out of control! Before, I was a regular evil scientist, and now, suddenly, I'm part of this big organization of supervillains bent on world domination! I'm not comfortable with that! The point is you should've been there to stop me! And you weren't! (He puts two pennies into Monogram's tin cup and walks away.)

Monogram: (picking up the cup) Huh, two cents.

(Cut to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s headquarters. Major-in-Charge Carl, Agent Monty, and Agent P approach from behind a wall.)

Monty: There's the warehouse!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Come on!

(They run up to the warehouse and climb over the fence. Major-in-Charge Carl gets stuck.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: (grunts) Oh! Guys, little help?

(Perry pushes a red button and the door opens. Carl lets go of the fence and runs inside. Cut to inside the warehouse. They see two big goons.)

Monty: What do you say, Perry? Think we can take 'em? (Perry and Monty run up to the goons.) Alright, you goons! (Two more goons appear behind the first two goons.) (to Perry) You take two and I'll take two. (Giant footsteps are heard, which is, clearly, not good news.) Great. They have a cave troll. Run!

(They run away and the chase is on.)

Monty: Perry, split up!

(Perry runs from Monty, only to be cornered by the Cave Troll. Cut to Monty who gets chased by the four goons. Only to get away from them since Major-in-Charge Carl closes the gate on them.)

Monty: Thanks, Carl.

(Cut back to Perry and the Cave Troll. They run into a laboratory. Perry finds a few tranq darts. He fires them from a rubber band and they go straight into the Cave Troll's butt. He falls forward.)

Monty: Wow, good work, Agent P!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Great! Now we get all his health!

Monty: You play way too many video games, man.

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house attic. Candace climbs up the ladder.)

Candace: Come on, Candace, you can do this! What's a couple little spiders compared to the fate of the world? (climbs back down) Oh, who am I kidding?! I need support! (She dials her phone.) Stacy, I really need your help!

Stacy: (on phone) Sorry, Candace, no can do.

(Cut to Stacy, whose head and right arm are completely swollen from the spider bite earlier, in a hospital bed.)

Stacy: I have to stay put until the swelling goes down.

Candace: (on phone) Are you okay?

Stacy: I'll be fine. But until then, you're on your own.

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: (hangs up) Well, she's no help. I'm gonna have to do this myself. (climbs back up) It's just you and me, attic. You and me... (climbs back down) and about TEN HUNDRED GAZILLION SPIDERS!! OH, I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

(Cut to the OWCA agents in their cells. The rat agent that Monogram was talking to makes his way in and takes a bobby pin and unlocks the cell holding Peter the Panda. Peter opens his cell and the rat puts on his newspaper fedora. The two agents salute each other. Cut to the headquarters. Doof enters.)

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I've had time to think it over and we need to put the world back. I, for one, do not want to live in a perpetual winter! (pushes Rodney) Scoot over, Rodney.

Rodney: Your betrayal doesn't surprise me, Heinz. (pushes Doof) Step aside!

Doofenshmirtz: (fighting over the controls) Wh-What are you doing?

(The platform the inizer is on begins to raise.)

Rodney: Just to show you who's boss, I'm going to move the Earth even further from the sun!

(Cut to the attic. Candace sticks her head in.)

Candace: There's Ferb's box way over there. Oh, who am I kidding? I can't go way over there!

(A hologram of Phineas appears in the attic.)

Phineas: Candace?

Candace: AAAAAAHHH! Phineas, how did you get up here?

Phineas: I'm using the Ferbographic technology.

(Cut to Phineas back at Mount Danville.)

Phineas: What's taking so long? Did you find the box?

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: Well, it's right over there by all those spider webs. Be a pal and grab it for me, will ya?

Phineas: What? No, I can't pick it up. I'm a hologram. You have to do it.

Candace: But I can't!

Phineas: Well, what's the matter, Candace?

Candace: It's my fear of spiders. I've been trying to overcome it all day.

Phineas: Well, that is a valid fear. You should be cautious around some spid—

Candace: Phineas, you're not helping!

Phineas: Come on, you've already done so many brave things. Remember when you helped us recuse Klimpaloon? And what about that time you got that really big bird to quit pecking our house? Or when you climbed up on the motor of our baguette boat after I gave you a similar pep talk?

Candace: Yeah! You know what? You're right? (Climbs all the way up.) If I could do that, then I should be able to walk across the attic, right? It's being silly. Heck, I don't even remember what I was afraid of.

Phineas: Spiders.

Candace: AAAAH!!! (climbs back down)

Phineas: Candace, you forgot the box!

(Cut to Major-in-Charge Carl, Agent Monty and Perry.)

Monty: There they are! They're headin' for the roof! We gotta get up there and stop them from firing that inator!

Dr. Diminutive: (with a pistol) Not so fast, Monty Monogram!

Monty: Take it easy, we don't want any (attempts to punch but misses) TROUBLE! (backs away) What?

Dr. Diminutive: Now that we have all of OWCA's agents, nothing can stop us!

Monogram: (offscreen) That's where you're wrong! (emerges from the shadows)

Major-in-Charge Carl: Major Monogram!

Monogram: I'm back! And I brought some help! (Agent Rat appears on his shoulders and whistles, followed by all of the escaped OWCA agents.)

Dr. Killbot: ''¡Qué lástima! ("Oy vey!")''

(It's déjà vu all over again as the OWCA agents and L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. engage in a very similar western-style streetfight to the one seen in Act 1, practically using the same animation.)

Dr. Diminutive: Wait a minute!!! (record scratch) This is the same brawl we had earlier!

Dr. Bringdown: So?

Dr. Diminutive: Aw, I'm just sayin'.

Dr. Killbot: ''La cabeza de medusa no es agradable ves. ("The head of Medusa is not pleasant to look at.)''

Villain #5: He's right! Let's get out of here!

Villain #6: That's not what he said, but...yes, we should get out of here.

(The villains all flee from the agents.)

(Cut back to the attic.)

Phineas: Candace, you're not giving up, are you?

Candace: No. (climbs back up) Today, I face my fear! Back off, spiders! Candace is in the attic!

Phineas: (offscreen) Now we're talking!

(Candace grabs an umbrella and sees two spiders crawling down from a web. She opens the umbrella and they go away.)

Candace: Ha! Take that, you little... (Several more spiders crawl down from inside the umbrella.) AAAAHHH!!!

Phineas: Wow, I guess there are a lot of spiders up here.

(Candace trips on a loose board and finds the box, as well as several bigger spiders. She opens the box to find a huge tarantula in a cobweb. She screams way louder than before.)

Phineas: It's all right, Candace. You're just gonna have to reach past that spider.

Candace: Are you kidding me?!

Phineas: Candace, the fate of the world is at stake!

Candace: Okay, five-year-old me. Here we go. (She timidly sticks her hand into the box, only hesitating for about a second.) Gotta reach it! (The spider sticks out one of its legs.) A little...bit...further! (She grabs the fuse.) That's it! I got it!

Phineas: Great work, Candace! You go down and put the fuse in, I'll go back and tell the guys! (The hologram disappears, and then reappears.) And well done! (The hologram disappears again.)

Candace: In your face, arachnid!

(Cut to Mount Danville.)

Phineas: Candace did it, Isabella! She got the fuse!

Isabella: Um, Phineas, one of the main locking bolts came loose on the rocket, and, uh...

(Long shot to reveal the rocket now leaning over to the right.)

Phineas: Huh. Yeah, we should probably fix that before Candace puts the fuse back.

(Cut back to Doof and Rodney's fight.)

Rodney: Oh, this is just ridiculous! You and I should just... (points somewhere) Oh, look! A Horse in a Bookcase!

Doofenshmirtz: A what?

(Rodney pushes Doof away and he lands on a wall, with a mop falling on his head.)

Rodney: Ha! Now to move the Earth into a new ice age!

(The inizer activates. Shot of the Earth moving toward Jupiter again. Cut to Candace attempting to put in the fuse.)

Candace: Why isn't this thing going in? What is it? "Righty-loosey, tighty-whitey?"

(Cut back to Mount Danville where Buford is attempting to rope the rocket back into position.)

Buford: Phineas, this thing ain't budgin'!

Phineas: Candace? Candace? (to Isabella) Why isn't this com-link working?

Isabella: The rocket is blocking the signal! We've got to get up there!

(Cut back to Rodney.)

Rodney: There. I've disabled the reverse switch and the self-destruct button. So there's no—

(Rodney gets whacked by Doof with the mop.)

Doofenshmirtz: Nobody messes with my self-destruct button! (He sticks the mop's handle into the inizer and tries to lift it up.) You make a pretty good fulcrum there, Rodney.

(Cut back to Mount Danville. Isabella climbs up.)

Isabella: Well, at least we're out of danger.

Phineas: We've gotta get the rocket in position or the planet could be torn apart!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: C'mon, you stupid thing! Get in there!

(Cut back to Mount Danville. Ferb grunts as he loosens the bolt from the rocket. Cut back to Candace as the fuse finally gets in.)

Candace: It's in!

(Cut back to Mount Danville.)

Candace: (on radio) The fuse is in! Okay, I'm gonna fire up the engines!

(Phineas and Isabella bump into Ferb, Buford and Baljeet and hold onto the rope and put the rocket back into position as the engine activates. Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: It's not moving, Phineas! It's like something's resisting our jets!

(Cut back to the gang dangling onto the rope.)

Phineas: I was afraid of that! Listen, push the rockets up...

(Cut back to Candace.)

Phineas: (on radio) ...above the red line!

Candace: But, Phineas, you said that would be bad!

Phineas: (on radio) Well, there is a...

(Cut back to the gang.)

Phineas: ....slight chance of pulling the planet apart!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: That's a bad thing!

(Cut back to the gang.)

Phineas: It's our only chance, Candace! We should be okay if we just do it slow and steady!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: Oh, just like the rabbit in the story.

(Cut back to the gang.)

Phineas: Yes, exact— Wait, no! Like the turtle! Like the turtle!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: Slow and steady. Slow and steady. (She pushes the levers up slow and steady into the red and the rockets get more powerful.)

(Cut back to the warehouse.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: Look, Doofenshmirtz is trying to destroy the inator!

Monogram: Come on! He needs help!

(They run up to Doof and jump on the mop. The inator lifts up, deactivates, and falls off the roof. Shot of the Earth going back in the right direction. Cut to Candace falling over. Cut to Linda, Lawrence and Saul falling over. Cut to Doof, Monty, and the rest falling over. Monogram falls off the roof but Major-in-Charge Carl grabs his hand.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: Hang on, sir!

Monty: Nice catch, Carl!

(Cut to Roger still on the City Hall roof holding onto the flagpole.)

Roger: I don't know what's going on anymore.

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: Phineas, what's happening?

(Cut back to the gang.)

Phineas: Unless I've missed my guess, the Earth is moving again! You better shut down the rockets, Candace!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: Gotta get to the controls! Almost th— AAHHH! (She falls over backwards.)

(Cut to the Earth as the rockets shut off and is back in its original coordinates. Cut to Phineas and the gang.)

Phineas: It stopped. We're not moving anymore! Candace, you did it!!

(Cut back to Candace.)

Candace: What? I did? (She gets up to see that she pulled the plug.) Oh, what do you know? I did it! (She opens the door and smiles as she sees the snow melting.) Aw, summer. Welcome back! (The inator lands in the backyard and takes the control panel with it.) Yeah. Well, that's to be expected.

(Cut back to the warehouse roof, where Monty takes away Rodney.)

Monty: Come on, Roddenstein! You're comin' with me!

Rodney: (to Doof) See ya later, Slouchy!

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, well y— Ugh! I can never come up with anything quick enough!

Monogram: Doofenshmirtz, you just saved the world. Thank you.

Doofenshmirtz: You're welcome, Francis. Put 'er there! (Monogram holds his hand out, but Doof pulls his away) Psych! (laughs) I'm still evil! (walks away laughing)

Monogram: Yes. Yes, you are.

(An OWCA helicopter is heard approaching. Colonel Contraction drops down from the ladder.)

Colonel Contraction: Well, Monogram, nice work.

Monogram: Thank you, sir.

Colonel Contraction': Unfortunately, we're still not getting our deposit back on that rental hall and that's really broken the budget. I'm afraid we have to close OWCA.

Major-in-Charge Carl: Sir, why don't you start a new agency?

Monogram: Good idea! What do we call it?

Major-in-Charge Carl: (checks his phone) Oh, looks like the name "OWCA" just became available! Oh, and so did their old building!

Monogram: Great! We'll call our new organization that and move there!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Good idea, sir!

Monogram: And to keep costs down, we're gonna have to cut some management positions. Colonel Contraction, your services will no longer be required.

Colonel Contraction: Yeah, well, that's to be expected.

(The helicopter takes off. Major-in-Charge Carl takes off his mustache.)

Carl: I think this belongs to you, sir.

Major Monogram: You keep that one, Carl. (He concentrates and instantly grows back his mustache.)

Carl: Welcome back, sir.

(Cut to the caves as Linda and Lawrence lead a nervous Saul out.)

Lawrence: Everything's all right. We're all outside.

Saul: Oh, sweet sunshine! (kneels to the ground) Terra firma!

Lawrence: Yes, well...

Saul: (kisses the ground) Lovely top soil!

Lawrence: We'll, uh, just be going then, shall we?

LInda: Bye, Saul!

Saul: Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Ugh! Kissed a bug!

(Cut to the backyard as Phineas and the gang enter.)

Phineas: There she is, the hero of the day! Nice going, Candace! Hey, where'd the command center go?

Candace: Probably the same place the last one went.

Baljeet: You really did a good job, Candace.

Candace: Yeah, and not only did we save the world, but I did everything I promised five-year-old me I'd do!

Buford: Let's all pretend like we understood that!

Phineas: Well, now that we have summer back, what should we do?

Buford: Oh! Oh! I got an idea!

(Song: Summer All Over the World (reprise))

(Phineas and the gang resume their concert, now joined by their friends who helped them with the rockets.)

Phineas: Come on, ev'ryone!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Dancin' in the sun!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: And you know we're not done!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Ev'ry corner of the world, yeah!

All: 'Cause it's summer, summer all over the--

(Pull out to the Earth, which explodes and everyone dies. The end.)

(Well, not really, because the director credit for Buford appears onscreen.)

Everyone: Buford!!!

(Cut to reveal everyone angry at Buford while looking on the laptop.)

Buford: I think there must be somethin' wrong with this program.

End Credits
Irving: Everybody! Doodly doodly dee

Audience: Dengue fever!

Irving: Diddly diddly doo

Audience: Whooping cough!

Irving: If you go into the woods, then this will happen to you. (Audience cheering) Nature is gross. Thank you! Thank you very much. My mom taught me that song!

(World blows up in Buford's presentation)

Phineas and Ferb and the rest of the gang: Buford!

[[Category:P]]