Misperceived Monotreme/Transcript

(Scene opens at the Danville Zoo)

Reynolds: Hello, Tri-State Area. This is Al Reynolds reporting from the Danville Zoo. I'm here with Tykera Kwok and the zoo's latest acquisition. (at Tykera) Tykera, what is this thing? It looks like a beaver-duck.

Tykera: No, this is a platypus.

(Scene shifts to the living room at the Flynn-Fletcher home where Ferb, Phineas, and Perry are watching the news report.)

Reynolds: (on TV) A platypus?

Phineas: Hey, he looks like you, Perry.

Tykera: (on TV) That's right.

Phineas: Of course, he doesn't look nearly as smart.

(Perry chatters)

(Back at the Danville Zoo, where the interview continues.)

Reynolds: Well, what does it do?

Tykera: Not much. He does like sandwiches though.

(She holds out a sandwich, which the zoo platypus eats.)

Reynolds: (chuckles) So, got anything for the hundreds and thousands of people about to change the channel on me might find remotely interesting?

(Camera gives an up-close look of the zoo platypus.)

Tykera: Well, over here we've some pelicans and a baby rhino.

(Reynolds and Tykera walk away and a second later, the zoo platypus sniffs the air. Camera pans to the where to the semi-truck for Foley Freight is parked.)

Delivery Man 1: What's that smell?

Delivery Man 2: That's my sandwich. I left it back at the truck.

(After the delivery men walk away carrying a crate, the zoo platypus is headed towards the smell.)

Delivery Man 1: No, I mean that other smell.

Delivery Man 2: Oh, that's you.

Delivery Man 1: Oh yeah, right.

(The zoo platypus, now inside the back of the truck, eats the entire sandwich.)

(Scene shifts to the Flynn-Fletcher home, then back to the living room where Perry's the only there.)

(phone ringing)

Candace: Hi, Mom.

Linda: Hi, Candace.

(On a street in Danville)

Linda: (on her cell phone) I'm doing the shopping, do you need anything?

Candace: (via cell phone) No, I'm good.

Linda: The boys said they'd have fun at home so go out and do something instead of waiting around for Jeremy to call.

(The following scene switches between the Flynn-Fletchers' and the Johnsons' respective homes)

Candace: I do stuff! Uh-oh, call waiting! Bye! (presses a button) Hi, Jeremy!

Jeremy: I just called to let you know I'll be at the big pet wash at the park today.

Candace: Pet wash?

Jeremy: Yeah. Instead of cars, we wash pets for charity. You know, you can really...

Candace: Wait. Hang on, Jeremy. (at Perry) Okay, eww! Off the couch, go on. Get out of here.

(Perry jumps off the couch)

Candace: You heard me. Hit the road, meat brick.

(Perry leaves the living room)

Candace: (at Jeremy) You were saying?

Jeremy: I was saying you can really tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals.

Candace: True.

Jeremy: Hey, why don't you bring Perry to the park and we can wash him together? Sound like fun?

Candace: Yeah. Okay, see you there. (closes cell phone) Oh, Perry! Come here, you little meat brick!

(In the backyard where Phineas and Ferb are lying on their backs watching the sky)

Phineas: Ferb, I've been thinking. Since there's nothing more fun than fun, why no add fun to everything?

(Ferb folds a piece of paper in half)

Phineas: Fun shoes, fun oatmeal,...

(Ferb places the folded paper on his nose)

Phineas: ...fun origami. Well, origami's already fun. (realizes) Fun... (close-up of Ferb's face) house! Great idea, Ferb! We'll turn our house into a fun house, by you know, adding fun.

Candace: Hey, guys, where's Perry?

(Ferb removes the paper)

Phineas: I think he went that way. (points to the left)

(Camera pans to Perry, who stands up as his wrist communicator started beeping. He's about to turn it on when Candace notices him.)

Candace: Oh, there you are, Perry! (picks Perry up)

(Phineas is lying on his back again enjoying the fresh air. Ferb, meanwhile, has replaced the folded paper on his nose.)

Candace: (walking past them) I'm borrowing your platypus.

Phineas: (opens his eyes) Okay, have fun.

(Perry chatters before leaving with Candace. Ferb's blowing the paper on and off his nose.)

Candace: Will you stop squirming? You're a platypus. It's not like you have somewhere to be.