The Doof Side of the Moon/Transcript

(We start by seeing the Flynn-Fletcher house, then Phineas and Ferb boredly watching the TV)

TV Announcer: Are you and your family looking for a peaceful family getaway? Then come visit delightful Danville! We've got grass, milk, and smiles! So come to Danville, pretty please? Brought to you by the Danville tourist board.

Phineas: You know, begging is really unbecoming. I mean, I like smiles as much as the next guy, (Ferb smiles strangely) and milk is a classic. But what Danville really needs is a biiiiiig tourist attraction. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

Linda: Bye, Candace! I'm off to make my rounds.

Candace: Bye, Mom.

(There are trucks and noises heard outside)

Candace: Mom! Mom! Mom! Grr, I'm gonna need some backup. (Calls Stacy) Hey, Stac. Wanna come over and help me bust my brothers?

Stacy: Ooh, sounds like fun, but I have to go to the eye doctor.

Candace: Okay, but just don't get big, thick glasses because then you'd be a nerd, and I can't be seen with you.

Stacy: Oh, Candace. You're so shallow.

Candace: I know. I am so shallow.

(Both laugh)

Candace: But seriously, don't get any big nerdy glasses. (Hangs up, hears more noises outside) Ooh, as soon as I get some help, you guys are so busted.

(Outside...) Phineas: Just dump it right there, next to the giant gorilla head.

Isabella: Hey Phineas. Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: Ferb and I have decided to construct the world's tallest building. Wanna help?

Isabella: Sure. Who wouldn't want to be a part of the "Phineas and Ferb" project?

Albert: Phineas and Ferb? Pishtosh. I'll take ninja discipline over creative whimsy any day.

Irving: Well, I just think --

Albert: Irving, you're my little brother. So, it's my duty to teach you all my secrets of self-defense. (Holds up a pair of nunchucks)

Irving: I'd rather see what Phineas and Ferb are doing.

Albert: What's in the box, anyway?

Irving: It's my old collection of spy cameras. I'm going to bring them to Phineas and Ferb and see what they can do with them.

(Albert takes the box)

Albert: I'll take those!

Irving: Give them back, Albert!

Albert: (Spills the box) Oops!

Irving: Ooh! You pick those up, Albert!

Albert: (Waving nunchucks) Make me. That is if you're...ninja enough.

Irving: You're...a jerk! I'm gonna go play with Phineas and Ferb. (leaves)

Albert: Fine! Do you realize these cameras are now forfeit!

(Candace approaches him)

Candace: Yeah, sure, Jenny, but what have whales ever done for me?

Albert: Well, hello.

(Albert hits himself on the head with the nunchucks) Candace: If that's the way you feel, I'll get someone else to bust my brothers. Albert: I'll help you. Candace: Are you talking to me? Albert: As a damsel in distress, I have to help you, milady, as part of my medieval knight's code. Candace: I'm outta here. Albert: But don't you wanna bust your brothers?

(Brakes heard, Candace walks back) Candace: I'm listening. Albert: Well, have you considered applying the manly science of spy cameras to your problem? Candace: Spy cameras? Wouldn't it be easier to just show my mom what Phineas and Ferb make? Albert: I don't know. Is that easier? Candace: No! No it's not easy! It's never easy! I need help. Albert: And manly technological surveillance. Candace: I need nerd help, will you help me? Albert: You have my word. My nerd word.