This Is Your Backstory/Transcript

Candace Flynn: I think you're right Stacy, the Ocean would be a lot deeper without all the sponges. What is that noise? It is driving me crazy! Aha!

(Phineas and Ferb are in the backyard playing a game of table tennis)

Phineas: Nice try Ferb, but you cant psych me out with your dead on celebrity impressions.

Candace: Alright, what is this?

Phineas: Table tennis.

Ferb: Ping pong, for the lay man.

Candace: Yeah, yeah but is it like, laser activated, nuclear powered, super sonic ping pong?

Phineas: No, good idea though.

Candace: Ping pong, huh? I bet. I'll just stay right here until the inevitable weirdness happens. Any minute now. Alright, so where's Perry?

Major Monogram: (Through Perry's wrist watch) Monogram to Agent P. Already air-born I see. I like that. DoofenshmirtzHas recently purchased an inordinate number of chairs. Hundreds of them. Far more than necessary for a person with no friends, and only one touched. Well actually I'm just sort of assuming about the touchee. But I'm pretty confident in the no friends thing. You think it'd be the other way around, with the way he's always playing around with forbidden science, you can never really be... This is coming out kinda weird. But you're going over their anyway, just, just take a look, okay? Monogram out. (Perry lands of Doofenshmirtz's roof, which closes over his head)

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, over here. Hurry, hurry, it's a, the shows about to start.

(Perry goes and sits next to Doofenshmirtz in one of the chairs)

Norm: Ladies and Gentlemen, someone in our studio audience, has a date with history. So come on up, because this is your backstory. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

Doofenshmirtz: Me? Hahahaha! It's me Perry the Platypus!

Norm: Let's give him a big round of applause. (Norm throws a lever, starting a clapping track, and forcing Perry to clap, via to mechanical arms)

Norm: Tonight we explore the life of a true evil genius. And find out just what makes him tick.

Doofenshmirtz: But how?

Norm: I'm glad you asked. With the help of our exciting, but potentially lethal memory extraction technology. All of your most deeply suppressed memories will appear right on this screen. It's like a TV clip show fueled by your own brain. Now let's start our trip down memory straza on the day of your birth.