The Flying Fishmonger/Transcript

Scene opens up showing the Flynn-Fletcher house.

Grandpa Reg: And that, ladies and gents, is how I defeated the wild tigers in the Amazon.

Phineas: Awesome story, Grandpa Reg.

Lawrence: Well, I'm sure you'll hear plenty more fantastical stories during Gran and Gramp's visit.

Linda: You know, hon, I was thinking we could all head to the mall.

Grandma Winifred: What a splendid idea! I'd love to treat Candace to some new clothes.

Candace: [Gasps] I'll be in the... car.

Phineas: Hey, Mom. Could we stay home and hear some more of Grandpa's cool stories?

Linda: Sounds good to me.

Lawrence: Wonderful. We'll see you boys later.

Grandpa Reg: My boy, what's this behind your ear? It's me scrapbook!

Phineas: How'd you do that?

Grandpa Reg: It's just a little bit of "How's you're father". I may seem like a barmy ol' git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tooth, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of derring-do.

Phineas: Translate.

Ferb: When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.

Grandpa Reg: Here I am as a young lad. I made my livin' work at the family Fish and Chips shop. But I was destined for bigger things. I was known and The Great Flying Fishmonger. Here's my first jump over my dear mum's tea society. Me jumpin' a whale, a ton of crumpets, the Queen Mum. But there was one jump that haunts me to this day; McGregor's Gorge of Doom.

[Flashback]

[Narrating] People turned out by the thousands to witness me in my trusty motor bike, the Holy Mackerel, make our biggest jump yet. The event was so massive, I hired a local band to write me a theme song.

Band: [Dirge-like] He's a Fishmonger, and he flies

Grandpa Reg: But it wasn't exactly a toe-tapper. Then all of a sudden, it started to rain. I had to postpone my great feat. The second go at it weeks later had the same result! And yet another attempt; nothing but blasted rain again.

Man: Let's go!

Woman: Yeah. I've got teeth not to brush.

[Flashback ends]

Grandpa Reg: Over the years, my eyesight went, and with the lumbago... [Grunts] ...Sciatica... [Creaking] ...Bursitis and... Wait for it...[Boing!] Trick knee, jumpin' McGregor's Gorge is an intention lost to the past.

Phineas: Wow, Grandpa. So whatever happened to the Holy Mackerel?

Grandpa Reg: She's right over there. Although I see your mother turned her into a lamp.

Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!

Candace: Oh, Grandma, you're gonna love this mall! I'll show you my favorite store, and there's this little dress that-- [Ding] Hmm... [Dialing] Stacy, I have a strange feeling that ground just broke into my backyard. I need you to get over there and tell me what's going on.

[Trucks beeping]

Phineas: Judging from this photo of McGregor's Gorge, we're right on track! Who's the tiger?

Isabella: Hey, Phineas! Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: Hey, Isabella: We're helping Grandpa Reg fill his crushed dreams.

Isabella: Where's Ferb?

Phineas: He's in the garage restoring the mackerel.

[Fizzing]

Isabella: Cool. Well, I brought this cute, little toy over for Perry. Where is he?

Phineas: Huh. I don't know.

Carl: Oh, hey, Agent P. Monogram's thrown his back out...

Major Monogram: I'm on the floor, Agent P.

Carl: ... So I'll be giving you your assignment, okay? Okay.

Major Monogram: Do a closeup.

Carl: Huh? Oh, yeah. Huh. [Beep] [Clears throat] Doofenshmirtz has been purchasing some suspicious items: Bags of sand, and extra-long shoelace. We know he's up to no good. Get out there and see what he's up to. [At Major Monogram] How was that?

Major Monogram: Just hand me my pills, Carl.