The Phineas and Ferb Effect/Transcript

Prologue
(Scene opens up on where we last left Milo and his friends, confronted by Doof, who is about to relay a recap.)

Doofenshmirtz: So lemme get this straight, there are pistachion monsters everywhere and they're bad. You went back in time to 1965 and found out that one of them had taken over some... TV show. But when you got back to the present, those same plant monsters had imprisoned everyone in a lard-themed amusement park, and replaced them with plants wearing rubber human masks. The only way to fix this is with a time machine. Yours is broken, and you're looking for some guy named "Professor Time" to help you. So... in a nutshell, what you're saying is, you're not the pizza delivery guy.

Milo: No, we are not the pizza delivery guy.

Doofenshmirtz: All right, well, I'll let ya out then.

(Doof walks over to a button and releases Milo and the others. Cue the theme song!)

Act I
(Scene opens up on:) Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Cavendish: Professor Time, I am beyond pleased to meet you! Balthazar Cavendish, big fan! You, sir, are my idol! Doofenshmirtz: Are... A-Are you talking to me?

Cavendish: Yes! You're Professor Time! You're going to invent time travel and change the world!

Doofenshmirtz: Really? And on what exactly are you basing this assumption?

Cavendish: Ooh, it's not an assumption. We are from the future! Fifteen years from now, you invent time travel! You are the great Professor Time!

Doofenshmirtz: Y'know, my name isn't Professor Time, it's Doofenshmirtz!

Dakota: Yeah, we're pretty sure you change your name... (holds up a bag of Professor Time Time Chips) ...for branding purposes.

(Song: Time Chips Jingle)

Time chips!

Come share with a friend!

Professor Time: Those are mine!

Doofenshmirtz: I have branding in the future?

Cavendish: Of course you do! T-shirts, hats, I'm wearing your underpants. Well, not your underpants. They're Professor Time brand. They have your picture on them. Do you want to see?

Doofenshmirtz: Errrrrrrrrrrrr... no.

(Cut to the Human Detention Center (Formerly Lard World), as evidenced by the subtitle.)

Zack: This is bad, Melissa. They got half the town in here.

Melissa: And no sign of Milo! Gotta figure out a way to escape.

Buford: Yeah! Good luck with that, lady!

(Cut to reveal Baljeet with a pair of binoculars sitting on Buford's shoulders.)

Melissa: Well, what are you guys doing?

Buford: Recon! Duh!

Baljeet: Whoa! (falls upside down) Would you turn around please? (to Melissa and Zack) We have been studying the pistachions' movements. But I still cannot deduce the purpose of the giant M.U.L.C.H. device.

Buford: Whatever it is, it's still got a lotta guards around it.

Baljeet: (falls over) Oof!

Buford: So, uh, what'cha deal anyway? You two a couple or somethin'?

Melissa and Zack: (denying) No!

Baljeet: Wait. You are Zack Underwood of The Lumberzacks!

Zack: Hey, somebody recognized me!

Melissa: Yeah, in plant jail.

Zack: I'll take what I can get.

Baljeet: I have your CD! I carry it with me always!

Buford: Oh, yeah! Chop chop chop! I remember that! I even heard one of the guards singin' it earlier!

Melissa: (snatches away Baljeet's CD) One of the guards? That gives me an idea!

Baljeet: Hey!

Melissa: This might be the perfect diversion.

(Song: Chop Away at My Heart)

Pistachion Guard 1: Hey! That's Zack Underwood of the Lumberzacks! We should get his autograph now before... well, you know.

Pistachion Guard 2: Eh, stop foreshadowing, Bob.

Zack: I know you're pining

But every cloud has got a silver lining

Zack and Baljeet: The leaves are parting now the sun is shining

And you're in my arms...

Baljeet: (takes over) ...so the planets are aligning

My heart is strong, like a tree! Boom!

And you belong, baby, you belong to me

Without you, I'm tied to the ground

And if I fall, do I even make a sound?

Baljeet and the others: Chop chop chop! Chop away at my heart!

I can feel it falling (timber!) and I will never part

I know you, you've been there from the start

So baby chop chop chop! Chop away at my heart!

Na na na na, na na na na na na na

Melissa: Mr. Murphy? Quickly! Over this way.

Martin: I never realized that Zack was Zack of the Lumberzacks.

Melissa: Yeah, I know, it's a big shock. Now stand over here next to this lard goat.

Martin: N-Now what?

Melissa: Uh, I'm not exactly sure.

(Nothing happens.)

Martin: So what am I doing here?

Melissa: I was hoping for a little Murphy's Law?

Martin: That's not really how it works.

(Suddenly, the goat starts to topple over, and the head comes off. A pistachion guard slips on the head, causing it to fly into the face of another guard near a lever, which activates the pig spinning ride, which falls apart and spins right into the cage, breaking it, and freeing the prisoners.)

Martin: Well, I guess sometimes it works like that.

Zack: Run!

(Zack, Melissa, Martin, Brigette, Sara, Buford, and Baljeet run away from the chaos as the others fight off the pistachions. But not before, Brigette, Martin, and Sara get recaptured.)

Zack: Oh, no!

Martin: Get outta here, Zack! Go find Milo! Run!

Zack: We'll come back for you!

(A guard tries to stretch its arm to get Zack, but fails, and the arm gets crushed by the pig ride.)

Pistachion Guard 3: And now my arm is under a pig!

(Cut to the newly renamed:)

Professor Time's Building: Recently Renamed for Branding Purposes

Orton: So, basically, we need you to invent a time machine.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, it just so happens I've already built a time machine! Behold! The Time Traveler-inator!

Orton: Fascinating!

Dakota: It looks like a taco.

Doofenshmirtz: (to Diogee) I'm gonna be someone important in the future! Me! Whoda thought, right? Right?

Dakota: Why you talkin' to Milo's dog?

Diogee: (pants)

Doofenshmirtz: (stammering) I'm sorry, I... Force of habit, I guess. Y-You mean he's not a, y'know, with the little hat, part of a secret organization. None of that?

Dakota: No, he's just a dog.

Doofenshmirtz: Ehhh, as far as you know.

Diogee: (continues panting)

Cavendish: It's essential that we get back to 1965 as quick as possible!

Doofenshmirtz: Ooh! 1965? That's where I wanted to go! I-I wanted to pick up some Wyatt Burp orange soda there. It was discontinued in the '70s for destroying the environment.

Milo: And you still wanna drink it?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, sure. I-I mean I'm not the environment.

(Agent P makes his perfectly timed entrance, and does a superhero landing, to the accompaniment of his trademark three note cue.)

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus?!

Dakota: Whoa, what's that?

Doofenshmirtz: It's Perry the Platypus. I just said that. He's wearing a hat.

Orton: And he's a platypus?

Doofenshmirtz: And his name is Perry. It's... It's like I'm not even here.

(A screen lowers from the ceiling.)

Announcer: Attention! Top priority message from OWCA! Attention!

Major Monogram: Doofenshmirtz, old-timey guy, other... oddly dressed people...

Dakota: Heh heh. "Old-timey guy".

Cavendish: I heard him.

Major Monogram: Sentient pistachio plants are taking over—

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, yeah, we already know.

Major Monogram: No, but—

(Doof changes the channel.)

Doofenshmirtz: Here's the problem. No, wait, wait, no, no, no. (finds the 24-Hour Periodic Table of Elements channel) All right, here we go. So I've built a time machine, but it will not work without an element I call "time juice," which has not been discovered yet. It'll probably be on the periodic table down here next to Pizzazium Infinionite.

Cavendish: Well, time juice is an element in the future, it makes extremely accurate clocks possible and eventually led to time travel.

Dakota: So that's why all the pistachions in the future were rounding up the clocks! So no one could get the time juice!

Milo: Wait a minute! I have one of the clocks! Dakota gave it to me!

Dakota: Yeah! I did! (to Cavendish) Look at me thinkin' ahead! Betcha there's some time juice in that.

Milo: It's in my room, back at the house!

Dakota: What, it's not in your backpack?!

Milo: Who keeps a clock in their backpack?! Heh. That's just weird. Don't worry, guys. I'll just go back to my house and get the clock.

(Milo steps up the the Time Traveler-inator, and an air duct vent crashes onto it, destroying it. Orton, Dakota, and Cavendish yell.)

Dakota: Now it looks like nachos.

Doofenshmirtz: My time machine! Oh, and the ductwork, too! That was still under warranty. How peculiar.

Milo: Oh, I'm a Murphy. That's just Murphy's Law. Right, guys?

Orton, Dakota and Cavendish: Murphy's Law?

Milo: Anything that can go wrong near me usually will.

Doofenshmirtz: That's a law? I've had that my whole life! (gasps) Maybe we're related.

Cavendish: Well, can it be rebuilt? We need this!

Doofenshmirtz: I don't think I can rebuild the ductwork. I need a ladder bigger than a— Oh, you mean the time machine. Yeah, I can rebuild that.

Milo: While you guys fix this, I'll go home and get the clock.

Perry: (chatters)

Doofenshmirtz: He's either saying he's going with you, or he regrets the impulsive mistakes of his youth. I-I'm not sure.

(Batman-style transition of Milo, Diogee, and Agent P leaping into action.)

(Cut to Milo's house)

Doo bee doo bee doo bah

Doo bee doo bee doo bah

Doo bee doo bee doo—

(Milo falls into the bush outside the house, but does a barrel roll out of it. Diogee stops to sniff the fire hydrant.)

Milo: (offscreen) Diogee, we're going home!

Diogee: (barks)

Doo bee doo bee doo bah

Doo bee doo bee doo bah

(Milo, Agent P, and Diogee walk into the house. Milo signals to Agent P, who gives him a thumbs up. They tiptoe, while Agent P attempts to contain any potential Murphy's Law damage. Milo and Diogee walk up the stairs.)

Milo: Shhh!

(At the top of the stairs, they are stopped by poorly disguised pistachions dressed as Milo's parents.)

Milo: Oh. Uh... hi.

Milo's Parents pistachions: How has your day been progressing?

Milo: (picks up Diogee) Back! He's loaded!

(Diogee cocks his leg like a rifle, and the Martin pistachion attempts to swipe at Milo, but is thwarted. Diogee topples onto the fake Martin while the Fake Brigette chases Milo. Agent P stops the fake Brigitte with his grappling hook. Milo walks through the door while Agent P fights the fake Brigette.)

Milo: Got the clock!

Diogee: (barks)

Martin pistachion: Ergh! They're getting away!

(Milo, Diogee and Agent P run down the stairs, but Milo is stopped by the fake Brigette. Agent P gives the clock to Diogee and fights off the fake Brigette on his jetpack, saving Milo in the process.)

Milo: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! (the jetpack runs out of fuel) Up! Murphy's Law! (gives Agent P a wrench) Here ya go!

(Agent P whacks at the jetpack, and it automatically starts working again.)

Milo: Remind me to wipe the dog slobber off that clock.

(Cut to Melissa, Zack, Buford and Baljeet still running. They run into an alleyway, where they cross paths with a fake Orton.)

Melissa: Quick,Mister, you've gotta get outta here! There's a bunch of pistachions after us!

Fake Orton: Oh, I know. I sent them.

Buford: Oh, no! We're surrounded!

Melissa: Wait a minute. Who are you?

Fake Orton: Let me set the stage for you kids. Imagine a young plant who wanted nothing more than to impress his father...

(Flashback to the events of the Missing Milo.)

Fake Orton: (narrating) ...who got knocked off the time limo, and sent adrift in the time stream, until he landed in 1955.)''

(Cut to Derek exploring a 1950s diner, before he gets knocked over by a car. A carhop drops a tray on his head.)

(Cut back to the present.)

Fake Orton: His father had always told his kids...

(Cutaway to King Pistachion talking to his children.)

King Pistachion: Now if you get separated, what do we do?

Young pistachions: Find an adult, impersonate them, and take over the world.

(Cut to the events of Fungus Among Us.)

Fake Orton: (narrating) So, naturally, my next step was to infiltrate Balsawood Studios as a low-level intern. And with that disguise, I was soon able to replace the great Orton Mahlson himself, which would put me in charge of the Doctor Zone empire!

(Cut back to the present.)

Melissa: Uh, what's "Doctor Zone"?

Fake Orton: Oh! If you're looking for a good show, watch Doctor Zone! No? Nothing?

(beat)

Fake Orton: Ugh! Apparently, I was better at stealing identities than running a TV show.

(Back to flashback.)

Fake Orton: (narrating) It was cancelled after two episodes and no one even remembers it anymore.

(Back to the present.)

Fake Orton: And this mask is so uncomfortable! (attempts to take it off) Pardon me, I've been... (takes a crowbar) wearing this mask for 50 years!

(He finally takes off the mask to reveal his head has taken on Orton's face and top hat.)

Derek: Oops. Probably should've taken it off when I was sleeping. Heh heh. I do like the chin though. So I spent the last 50 years building mask factories and replacing Danville's citizens with my own pistachion army! And at 4:30 today, my master plan will— (notices the kids have disappeared) Oh. Where'd they go? Ugh! Too much exposition.

Pistachion 4: Yeah. That's probably why your show was cancelled.

Derek: After them!

(The pistachions go after the kids, except for Pistachion 4, whose staff crashes into a pile of junk.)

Pistachion 4: OMG, that was totally embarrassing! Sorry!

(Cut back to D.E.I. um... PTB? That's not as catchy as the old acronym, is it?)

Milo: Hey, everybody, we're back! And I've got the clock!

Doofenshmirtz: Aw, cool! Gimme!

Cavendish: This is an historic moment, Dakota.

Dakota: Who knew that time machine would also be a taco stand?

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah. You know, you said it looked like a taco before, it got me thinkin'... It's not too much, is it?

Milo: Not as long as you can take us back in time to 1965, and get Orton his show back, and defeat the pistachions, and save the world!

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, no pressure. I'm gonna go back to talkin' to the dog.

(Ding dong!)

Doofenshmirtz: Just a minute!

(Doof opens the door to reveal some pistachions. He immediately slams the door on them.)

Doofenshmirtz: Sorry, I'm in the shower, come back later!

Orton: Egad!

Dakota: Go go go go! Everyone, into the time machine!

Cavendish: Quick! Start it! Let's get outta here!

Doofenshmirtz: What does it look like I'm doin', makin' chalupas? Although, this is the same machine I use to make chalupas, so I understand the confusion.

(The pistachions break down the door.)

Milo: Go! I'll lead them away! Hey! Over here, nut-jobbers!

Pistachion 5: "Nut-jobbers"?

Pistachion 6: Well, it does kinda describe us, but it's just rude.

Orton: Now that was cool! Maybe that's the kind of hero Doctor Zone should be.

(The time machine activates, and Doof, Dakota, Cavendish, and Orton disappear.)

(Cut to Milo getting chased by the pistachions. He is completely surrounded, until he takes out a rhythmic gymnastics ribbon from his backpack, and distracts them with his routine.)

(Music: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy)

(One pistachion appears to be particularly amused by this. Milo uses the ribbon to drop down from the stairs and knock one of the pistachions out. Two of the pistachions give him an olympic score of 10, while the one who was whacked gives him a 4.5.)

(Cut to the time stream.)

Cavendish: I was afraid of this. We only have enough juice to get into the time stream and not out!

Orton: Weren't there a bunch of floating clocks?

Dakota: Yeah. Time's screwy in here. Sometimes, you're in the stream before I put the clocks in it. I don't know how that works.

Orton: So what does this mean?

Cavendish: Without juice from those clocks, we'll be stuck here forever!

Doofenshmirtz: Forever?! Now I really regret not putting a bathroom on this thing. Plus, all I serve is Mexican food, so you do the math.

(Cut back to the rest of the kids still running until they reach a fence.)

Buford: Oh, no! End of the line! Oof! (tries to bash his way through the fence)

(The kids suddenly notice a shadow passing.)

Zack: Is it okay if I start squealing in fear again?

(The shadow is revealed to belong to a familiar-looking long-necked redhead, who is distracted by playing a game on her phone.)

Candace: Oh. Hi, guys.

(Candace's wicked witch theme plays.)

Baljeet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Oh, you do not know her. She can be very intimidating.

Buford: Candace, what're you doin' here?

Candace: I'm playing Ducky Mo-Go!.

(Point of view of the phone to reveal a Pokémon GO!-esque app on Candace's phone, as she catches a Ducky Momo.)

Candace: Yay-yeah! I got the chartreuse one! Why? What are you guys doing?

Buford: Uh, runnin' from those guys.

(Candace notices the pistachions behind her and reacts appropriately.)

Candace: Whooooa! What are those?!

Buford: Don't worry, I gotta plan! (pushing Baljeet) Here! We offer our nerd in sacrifice!

Baljeet: Buford!

(The pistachions are about to attack, but suddenly, a giant robot comes from behind the fence and crushes them. The windshield of the head lowers to reveal none other than EVERYONE'S FAVORITE BOY INVENTORS!!!!!!)

Ferb: Looks like it's time to whack some weeds.

Phineas: Well, somebody's chatty!

Ferb: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to say that?

Phineas: No, by all means!

Ferb: It's just that it's been a long time.

Phineas: Yes! (looking at the viewer) Yes it has!

Act II
(Scene opens up on Phineas and Ferb's robot facing the pistachions.)

Phineas: Hey, guys! Need a hand?

Buford: Oh, I get it! That's an actual hand!

Baljeet: We got it, Buford!

Candace: I never thought I'd be glad to see one of your big crazy contraptions!

Pistachion 7: We have you surrounded, meatbags!

Phineas: "Meatbags"? Well, it does kinda describe us, but it's just rude.

(Phineas pushes a button and the robot whacks tennis rackets at the pistachions.)

Phineas: Service! Now this is gonna make a racket!

Buford: A racket! I get it! You use an actual—

Baljeet: We get it, Buford!

Melissa: Who are you guys?

Phineas: That's Candace, Buford and Baljeet, I'm Phineas, and this is Ferb!

Melissa: Well, I'm Melissa, and this is Zack.

Zack: And why do you have a giant tennis racket machine?

Phineas: Oh, we wanted to build another one to play tennis from opposite sides of the city. Oh, hold on. (whacks a pistachion) But then, hello? Pistachion monsters! Huh. How weird is that?

Zack: Only slightly weirder than a giant tennis racket machine.

Melissa: This could help us storm the compound. Half the city is locked up back there.

Phineas: Don't worry. Ferb and I have been working on some pretty cool stuff back at our hideout. We'll grab some gear and mount an offensive!

(A warning light flashes.)

Phineas: That's weird. Both the primary and backup hydraulics are out. And that never happens!

(The robot falls over.)

Everyone: Ow!

Ferb: Ow.

Phineas: What are the odds?

Milo: (enters carrying Diogee) Hi, guys!

Zack: Better than you think.

Melissa: There he is!

Milo: Cool lookin' robot thing! Who are your new friends?

Phineas: I'm Phineas, and this is Ferb.

Milo: Milo Murphy. Nice to meetcha!

Baljeet: This Candace, Buford, Baljeet.

Milo: Oh, hi, guys! Sorry about your machine breaking down.

Phineas: I don't think you had anything to do with it.

Milo: Well, stuff like that happens around me. I'm a Murphy.

(The robot suddenly crumbles into the Earth's crust and explodes.)

Ferb: Murphy's Law?

Milo: Bingo!

(Cut to Dakota, Cavendish, Orton, Doof and Agent P back in the time stream, with facial hair.)

Dakota: Warthog, waxwing, weasel, weevil, weever finch, wildebeest, yak, yellow jacket, and zebra, and those are all the animals in the African savannah section of the zoo. Now onto the rainforest section. I think it's the agutee, the...

Cavendish: Oh-ho, will you please be quiet?!

Dakota: Well, you won't let me sing the zoo song, and I gotta do somethin' to pass the time.

Cavendish: Well, that's just it! We are in the time stream! Time doesn't pass!

Dakota: So how come we got these beards?

Cavendish: (gesturing toward Doof) Because he made us wear them!

Dakota: Oh, that's right.

Doofenshmirtz: I was trying to lighten the mood, and nobody wanted to wear the funny glasses.

Dakota: I've already got glasses!

Doofenshmirtz: I don't know what everybody's so gripey about. Perry the Platypus and I are having a grand old time playing Go Fish with hot sauce packets. (to Agent P) So... ya got any hot sauce packets? (Agent P gives Doof the hot sauce packet.)

Perry: (chatters)

Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Yes I do have a hot sauce packet. There ya go. I'd deal ya guys in, but we only have the one hot sauce packet.

Cavendish: Ugggh!!! We will be here for all of eternity if we don't get our hands on some time juice!

(Dakota is heard speaking indistinctly in the distance.)

Dakota: Hey, it's us from earlier! It's when I clobbered that guy and put all the clocks in the time stream!

Cavendish: (gasps) We've got to grab those clocks and get that time juice! Just grab one! That one! That one!

Dakota: I can't reach!

Cavendish: Or that one!

Dakota: I'm trying!

Orton: We're too far away!

Dakota: And they're gettin' further! Wait! I've got an idea! Somebody give me a leg up!

(He ties some rope to his waist.)

Cavendish: Get up there! Get up there!

Dakota: I'm going! I'm going!

Cavendish: Be careful!

Dakota: I'll just— (he runs onto the top of the awning, but punches a hole through it)

Cavendish: Be careful! Hurry!

Dakota: "Be careful" or "hurry"? Choose one!

Cavendish: Hurry!

(Dakota gets a running start and jumps over Cavendish's head, and starts floating towards the clocks. He gets one just in time.)

Dakota: Got it!

(He falls and bumps into the window, accidentally sitting on Doof and Agent P's hot sauce packet.)

Doofenshmirtz: Aw, man!

Dakota: (giving the clock to Doof) Here ya go.

(Cut to 1965, outside the Wyatt Burp soda factory. The time machine arrives there.)

Doofenshmirtz: And we're here! 1965!

Cavendish: Wait a moment, why are we at the Wyatt Burp soda factory?

Doofenshmirtz: I told ya, I wanted some orange soda! Don't worry, the TV studio's right around the corner.

Cavendish: This is a day later than we were shooting for! We've lost the element of surprise!

Doofenshmirtz: Aw, yeah, y'know, I can't pinpoint a specific day. I didn't have room.

Orton: What do you mean?

Doofenshmirtz: Year, Month, cup holder. I needed a cup holder there.

Cavendish: (taking his beard off) And yet, you had room for false beards? What kind of a scientist are you!?

Doofenshmirtz: All right, anyone who built a time machine today, raise your hand. (raises his hand) Yeah, I thought so! You get what you get, and you don't get upset!

(Cut to the guys outside of Balsawood Studios.)

Cavendish: Okay, with any luck, we can get there right before Evil Orton takes over the studio.)''

(Cut to reveal the pistachions wrecking the original time machine from "Fungus Among Us".)

Dakota: Oh! Looks like we're a little late to the party.

Pistachion 8: Hey, look! They're over there now!

Derek: Get them!

Dakota: And now they see us.

(Doof, Dakota and Cavendish run away, while Orton keeps writing notes, but not before Dakota pulls him away. Derek puts his Orton mask back on and heeds chase.)

(Cut back to the present day at what appears to be an abandoned factory.)

Melissa: So where are we?

Phineas: This is one of our satellite workshops. Not the one that's an actual satellite. We've been working here since the pistachions started taking over.

(Cutaway to what appears to be Ferb under the tree. Phineas walks up to him.)

Phineas: If we're gonna defeat those nut-jobbers, it's gonna start here.

Milo: Wow, this is pretty neat! What's this for?

(Pull out to reveal it's actually a set of Phineas and Ferb's backyard inside the workshop.)

Phineas: We find that this setup helps us think.

Melissa: (picking up a device) What's this?

Phineas: This little beaut is a neutron disruptor, but I don't think it'll work on plants.

Milo: How are you at building safety gear?

(The machine short circuits behind Milo, and the switch falls off, as more chaos erupts.)

Buford: (screams)

Candace: Uh, well, maybe Milo isn't the best guy to have around, since we have to, y'know, save humanity. (to Milo) No offense.

Milo: None taken! That's a good point!

Baljeet: I cannot believe that Milo's mere presence can affect the probability of events around him! That violates every known law of physics!

Buford: What about Murphy's Law?

Baljeet: Nobody has really studied Murphy's Law. Maybe if we analyze it, we could use it to our advantage.

Buford: Ya mean weaponize it?

Candace: I think the simpler thing would be to ditch the kid who makes bad things happen.

Phineas: No, Candace. We need all the soldiers we can get! But there's gotta be a workaround for this "Murphy's Law" effect.

Melissa: Well, what do you usually do when things go wrong?

(beat as Phineas and Ferb look at each other)

Phineas: We have no frame of reference for that.

Milo: Well, I do! All you need is a little persistence. (rummaging through his backpack) It's like my dad always says: "When life crashes your lemons, (takes out a lemon helmet) stitch the rimes together to make a helmet!"

Buford: Mmmm! Lemony fresh.

Zack: Don't even worry about it. Cavendish and Dakota are probably back in 1965 easily defeating those pistachion monsters as we speak.

(Whip pan back to 1965 as Cavendish, Dakota, and Orton are hiding from the pistachions.)

Dakota: Looks like we lost them.

Cavendish: Where the juice is Doofenshmirtz? How long does it take to get some orange soda?

Dakota: Well, this is the 1960s. Life's kinda slower paced.

Cavendish: Oh. Here he comes.

Doofenshmirtz: Hit the deck! Hit the deck! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

Cavendish: Uh-oh. (indistinct)

(The pistachions run after Doof, Agent P, and the others as they get back on their taco stand time machine and disappear.)

Pistachion 9: Ah, y'know, sometimes it's not worth getting out of the garden each morning.

Pistachion 10: Way to bring down the room, Shawn!

(Wipe back to the present day.)

Phineas: Okay, look, everybody, a lot of gear got smashed in that little Murphy's Law incident. If we're gonna have any chance of rescuing our parents and our friends, we're gonna have to rebuild. So everybody grab a station and start working!

(Song: Quirky Worky Song)

(As Milo attempts to put together a device, the song stops short as the fork goes up in the air.)

'Candace: Listen, Milo, I have nothing against you, and I know Phineas wants to include everybody, but don't you think it'd be best if we removed you from this rescue mission? So that everything that can go wrong doesn't?

(The fork lands on the table, prongs side down.)

Milo: Well, I guess that is a good point.

Candace: Let's find ya a good place to hide out, while they're trying to fix things.

(Candace leads Milo out of the building.)

Zack: Hey, where's she taking Milo?

Melissa: That is weird.

Zack: Wait a minute. What do we really know about her? She could be a pistachion spy!

Melissa: Of course! How could we not see it?! No human being has a neck that long! C'mon! We've gotta go save Milo!

(Melissa and Zack follow Candace and Milo out the door.)

Baljeet: Hey, where are those two going?!

Buford: Called it! They're a couple!

[[Category:U]]