The Magnificent Few

A visit to a dude ranch turns into a stampede/cattle drive through town and the cows become acrobats at a water park. Dr. Doofenshmirtz starts an aluminum siding business.

Episode Summary
A cowboy in a western movie opens the episode by singing On the Trail, accompanied at by harmonizing cows. As the movie ends, it is shown that Phineas has been watching it on a portable video player while he and Ferb are riding on a very tame horse ride called "Ride 'Em Cowboy!" at Clem's Carnival. Mom thinks this is cute and takes a picture. Phineas breaks the fourth wall and tells the audience, "She means well".

As Mom drives off, Candace gets after them to not "pull any of your weird stunts". Phineas responds with a southern cowboy drawl and says, "Don't fret none, school marm". Satisfied, Candace calls a friend (probably Stacy Hirano) on her cell phone to recount her encounter with "Little Miss Pants".

The boys leave the ride and see Isabella standing nearby. Isabella has just earned her Milking badge, which only required that she "squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull, and squeeze and pull". When Isabella asks, "Whatcha doin'?", Phineas responds with a list of things he'd rather being doing than just riding horses. Amongst the list is "fording a stream", even though he doesn't know that that means. Isabella is quite taken by his account.

Meanwhile, Perry dives into a water trough and begins swimming back to his lair. Along the way, he has to swim through a minefield while a shark with a laser beam strapped to its head fires the laser at him.

Perry makes it to his lair, and after donning his hat to begin his duties as Agent P, activates the viewscreen. Major Monogram appears mid-sentence, recounting to someone off screen (probably Karl the Intern) Candace's earlier conversation. Major Monogram realizes that Perry's there and cuts the conversation short. Agent P gives him a look. Embarassed, Major Monogram says, "Oops. I forgot to turn off the laser sharks again, didn't I? My bad."

Major Monogram then begins the briefing. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has three overdue library books, a corner on the market for aluminum siding and a water fortress on Lake Winnemuckatinkahaha. After the traditional admonishment to find out what the doctor is up to and to put a stop to it, Agent P drives a jetski to the fortress.

Agent P arrives at the fortress and drives it up a ramp and inside. After capturing him, Dr. Doofenshmirtz introduces Agent P to his new assistant, Vanessa. Vanessa isn't impressed, so she puts on a set of ear buds and listens to some techno music. Slightly embarrassed, Dr. Doofenshmirtz dismisses this by saying, "She's new".

He then launches into the details of his latest plan: he's put helmets on termites so that he can control them with his own Termite-Controlling Helmet. To demonstrate, he opens a jar and directs them to shape a block of wood into a bust of himself. After they eat all the wood in the Tri-State Area, everyone would have to buy aluminum siding from him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz wraps it up and uses a remote to lower Agent P towards molten lava. "It's time for platypus flambé." He and Vanessa leave.

Back at the ranch, Candace is on still on the phone, now recounting an encounter with someone that was "all up in my face". The termites fly through and eat the fence she was lying on out from under her. She runs but the termites follow her, pausing momentarily to eat a wooden outhouse. Candace seeks refuge in a barn. The termites eat that, which causes the cows to stampede. Phineas, Ferb and Isabella see that the cows are heading towards town and the cows have already caused long back-ups on the freeways.

The termites eat the fences from the "Ride 'Em Cowboy!" ride, allowing the boys to commandeer the horses. Just as Isabella thinks she's about to be left behind, she spots a pony decked out with a purple bow, purple saddle and pink hearts for decoration.

Candace has been running from the stampede. Stacy calls her and after she informs Stacy about the stampede, Candace falls in a mud puddle. The cows and the horses that the kids are riding leap over her. She calls after them as the stampede heads into town.

After a trip on the subway, the stampede reaches the Googolplex Mall. A group of people are waiting for a store to open, and once it does, they create a stampede of their own in their hurry to get at the sale items. The cows follow them, running amuck through the store. One cow stops to admire itself in a mirror after snagging a dress and bra.

The stampede continues into the main area of the mall, starting with a trip in the elevator, followed by going up and down the escallators. Phineas and Isabella sing In the Mall. Everyone, including the cows, take a break to eat in the mall cafeteria, but then the stampede is back on again.

Now the stampede heads outside to one of the streets in downtown Danville. Candace is heading their way on her bike and passes a traffice sign that says "Stampede downtown. No honking." She loses control going down a hill and crashes into Haney's Cow Emporium.

Candace goes inside to find something to help her stop the stampede. The proprietor's first offering is a "scary wolf puppet" that is less than scary. His sales pitch doesn't convince Candace that it will be effective. The Silent Cow Whistle seems to be a different matter, so Candace buys that.

She runs outside to use the whistle. The cows stop, but it's only because the stoplight has turned red. Candace has to run again, and complains loudly that the cow whistle doesn't work. The proprietor quickly puts a "closed" sign in his window.

Candace spots Phineas, Ferb and Isabella bringing up the rear. She retrieves her bike, then phones her mom to bust them. The cows are heading right past where her mom is getting her hair done, but when Linda Flynn looks out the window, all she sees is the truck for Swampy's Farm Fresh Milk.

Meanwhile back at the water fortress, Agent P has been lowered ever so slowly towards the lava. He is almost in the lava and is doing quite well in not being affected by the heat when Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa check in on him via closed-circuit television. The doctor wants to know if he has any last noises since Perry doesn't speak. Agent P swings over to a control panel and then moves the ropes holding him close enough to the lava for it to burn through.

Now free, Agent P reaches towards a button labeled "Caution!" when Dr. Doofenshmirtz lets it slip that a different button is the one that Agent P should not press. Agent P presses the other button, which activates the self-destruct. Vanessa can't believe that the self-destruct button was put in the death chamber and leaves, complaining that this was "the worst 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' ever".

She also takes the last escape pod. Dr. Doofenshmirtz isn't worried because he has a jet pack. Agent P sees the jet pack sitting on the control panel near him. Doofenshmirtz can't believe he did that, adding he might as well have given Perry an escape hatch. Overhead, the escape hatch opens and Agent P flies out. "Well, guess I'm running" is all Dr. Doofenshmirtz has to say. Agent P hears his screams and circles back to rescue the doctor. Unfortunately, the little wooden head that the termites had carved earlier was not saved.

Meanwhile, the boys have got the cows under control and are now calmly guiding them along the freeway. A semi's horn from an impatient truck driver causes them to stampede again, but they are directed to the off-ramp back towards Clem's Carnival.

The cows break through the guard rail and head down the hill towards a cliff. They stop in time, but the lead cow accidentally gets pushed off the edge. Phineas asks Ferb to calm them down with his guitar, but one of the guitar strings snaps and that sets the cows off again.

They leap off the cliff and land on the water slide at the Cliffside Water Park. Phineas, Isabella, Ferb and their horses follow the cows. The cows really enjoy the slide and start performing some pretty acrobatic moves. At the bottom of the slide, the cows make a fountain out of themselves. Phineas has to remind them that they are supposed to be on a cattle drive. He notes that they are fording a stream, which he wanted to do earlier.

Candace rode her bike to the same ledge that the cows had stopped on, but now it gives way beneath her. She bounces off the shack at the top of the water slide and over onto several ledges containing cactus, snakes and scorpions.

Nearby, Agent P and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are flying back towards Clem's Carnival. The jet pack runs out of fuel. Agent P opens his parachute and Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabs ahold of him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz lands on top of the rollercoaster. Agent P catches an updraft and begins floating right behind Doofenshmirtz. This allows him to put the Termite-Controlling Helmet into reverse, drawing the termites towards the doctor.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz begins running away along the rollercoaster's track. The termites eat part of the wooden tracks, causing some of them to fall to the ground. At this moment, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella arrive in search of a corral to put the cows into. A section of track from the rollercoaster comes loose and lands on top of the wooden tracks, creating a make-shift corral.

The termites finally catch up with Dr. Doofenshmirtz and fly away with him as he yells, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Agent P removes his hat and walks back over to the boys. Mom pulls up in her car and asks if they had fun. The answer is a resounding yes. Candace then walks up, growling all the way. Mom wants to know if she's alright, but Candace doesn't want to talk about it. "Alright, get in the car, snappy pants," is mom's response. She then wonders what that was all about, and Ferb replies, "I reckon herdin' cattle ain't for city folk."

Songs
On the Trail In the Mall

The "Too Young" Line
Not said in this episode.

Ferb's Line
"I reckon herdin' cattle ain't for city folk."

Whatcha doin'?
Said by Isabella after describing how she earned her Milking badge.

Perry's entrance to his lair
Enters a water trough at the dude ranch and swims underwater back to his lair, avoiding a shark with a laser beam strapped to its head.

Memorable Quotes
"We're riding ponies, but it makes a fella hanker for the real thing. You know, livin' out on the open range, ridin', ropin' brandin', busting broncos and breakin' wind with your amigos under the western skies. Heck, we could even ford a stream! I don't even know that that means, but it sounds fun. Oh, and spitting."
 * - Phineas describing the activities he'd really like to be doing

''"The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is at it again. Not only does he have three books about insects overdue at the library, but he's cornered the market on aluminum siding and he's holed up in his water fortress on Lake Winnemuckatinkahaha. I love saying that."
 * - Major Monogram briefs Agent P on his mission

''"Ah, Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is uncanny. And by 'uncanny', I mean, completely canny."
 * - Dr. Doofenshmirtz notes Agent P's arrival.

"Any last noises, Perry the Platypus? You know, that little chirping silly noise that you make?" (Perry chitters.) "That's the one."
 * - Dr. Doofenshmirtz

"You put a self-destruct button in a death chamber? I'm so out of here. This is the worst 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' ever."
 * - Vanessa

"Alright, get in the car, snapy pants."
 * - Mom reacting to Candace being grumpy

Continuity

 * During the "stop for vittles" in the mall cafeteria, the elevator version of I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun! can briefly be heard.

Background Information

 * Nineth episode produced. Tenth episode aired, broadcast on February 8, 2008.
 * A sign in the Danville subway says "No Buena Vista". According to Wikipedia, it is a play on a now-retired brand name that The Walt Disney Company used until May 2007. "No Buena Vista" literally means "no good view".
 * The population of Danville is 241,000.
 * A horse's natural instinct is to step over people that have fallen on the ground. Cows, not so much.
 * The close-up of the traffic signal shows the lights in reverse order: green on top and red at the bottom. When the signal is shown from a distance, the green light is in its traditional place at the bottom.
 * The sign on the freeway advertising Clem's Carnival misspells it as "carnaval".

Allusions

 * Austin Powers: While Perry is swimming back to his lair through a minefield, he is attacked by a shark with a laser beam strapped to its head. Dr. Evil once said he wanted sharks with laser beams, and later received them as a gift from his son. Another allusion is the use by Dr. Doofenshmirtz of an "unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism" that allows Agent P ample time to escape, followed by Vanessa and Dr. Doofenshmirtz leaving Agent P unsupervised during this time.
 * The Magnificent Seven: The title parodies the western movie The Magificent Seven.
 * Colorization: The lines in the song "The sun's lookin' awful gloomy / 'cause they colorized this movie" may be an allusion to early attempts at colorizing movies that often resulted in poor quality.

Cast

 * Vincent Martella as Phineas
 * Ashley Tisdale as Candace
 * Thomas Sangster as Ferb
 * Caroline Rhea as Mom
 * Alyson Stoner as Isabella
 * Dan Povenmire as Dr. Doofenshmirtz
 * Jeff "Swampy" Marsh as Major Monogram
 * Dee Bradley Baker as Perry
 * Olma Olson as Vanessa
 * Kelly Hu as Stacy
 * Additional voices: Dee Bradley Baker, Jeff "Swampy" Marsh, Mitchel Musso, Richard O'Brien