Last Day of Summer/Transcript

Candace: Phineas and Ferb are gone!

Linda: Who are Phineas and Ferb?

Phineas: It's Danville...but it's not.

Isabella: Looks pretty mega to me.

Phineas: We gotta figure out a way back home.

Doofenshmirtz: AAAH! I can't believe it!

Phineas: We gotta figure out a way outta here.

Candace: Days keep repeating because of a machine thingy that Vanessa's dad made and now things are disappearing, and the worst thing is nobody remembers them!

Buford: I am so not listenin'.

Isabella: Me neither.

Baljeet: When the time clock(?) ceases to exist, so will we!

Phineas: C'mon, guys! No time to lose!

Act I
(Cut to Candace in her bed. Her alarm goes off saying, "BUSTIN' TIME!".)

Candace's alarm: (Phineas' voice, while beeping) I know what we're gonna do today! I know what we're gonna do today! I know what we're—

(Candace turns off the alarm.)

Phineas: (offscreen) I know what we're gonna do today!

Candace: (growls, gets out of bed, and shouts out the window) And I know what I'm gonna do today! Bust you guys once and for all! Do your worst or your best. Just make it big and bustable, so I can show Mom!

Phineas: Wow! That was awfully supportive. {{Spoiler|And you said Candace wasn't a morning person. (to Ferb)

Candace: (walking towards her bedroom door) This is it, Candace – the last day of summer vacation! Your last chance to bust the (steps on a rollerskate) boooo- (steps on a skateboard and rolls down the stairs) -ooooooo – ugh! (falls off the skateboard and lands in a wagon, starts rolling around the house) Uh! Why do we have this many (pauses as she rolls behind a wall) wheeled objects lying around the house?

Linda: (reading the newspaper at the kitchen table) Oooh! Looks like the zoo's got a new tiger habitat. (Lawrence playfully roars at Linda and Candace rolls into the kitchen.) Good morning, Candace.

Candace: (unenthusiastically) Uh-huh. (pauses) And so begins the last day of summer. (wagon is stopped by Perry's dish)

Linda: (getting up with her purse) Which means back to school errands for me and making the most of the day for you. (looking at her watch) Ooh! I better get a move on. Those errands aren't gonna run themselves. (chuckles) They never do! (unenthusiastically) They never do. (leaves)

(Cut to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford in the backyard)

Phineas: Well, today's a big day, so it's a good thing we're getting an early start!

Isabella: I don't wanna waste one minute of our last day of summer!

Baljeet: Yipeeeeee! Last day of summer means first day of schooool! Ha-ha ha! (realizes the disproving looks on everyone else) I mean boooooo...

Isabella: Seems like only yesterday I walked through that side gate and asked "Watcha doin?" when you were building that rollercoaster for the first time.

Phineas: Since it's our last day of summer, we're thinking a grand finale is in order. Show 'em the blueprints, Ferb.

(Ferb pushes the button on a remote and a giant blueprint comes up out of the ground.)

Baljeet and Isabella: Oooooh!

Buford: Eh, could use a little somethin' more. (more blueprint rolls out above the first one) There it is, but where's Perry?

(Cut to the side of the house. Perry walks around the corner, looks back, then gets up on his hind legs. He then puts on his fedora, takes out a remote, pushes the button, and steps into a secret door in the side of the house. An elevator takes him down to his lair, where, on the screen, Major Monogram waits for him. Perry drops into his seat.)

Major Monogram: Oh, good, Agent P, you're here! You're probably wondering about all these pulley things here. (eyes directing to tassel-like pulleys on his left and right) It's just that, with Carl heading to school soon, I'm (pauses) gonna have to learn to run this place all by myself. (grips the pulleys) Anyway, (pulls his left one to make a crudely drawn picture of fall leaves roll down in front of him on the screen) with the seasons about to change, I suspect Doofenshmirtz (a crudely drawn picture of Doofenshmirtz rolls down) will be trying to close out the summer (a crudely drawn picture of a "bang" rolls down) with a bang. (all the pictures, with his right pulley, fall to the floor) Great googly moogly! Carl! (his left pulley, still being gripped by Monogram, comes detached and dangles from his left hand.) Oh, that's right: (sadly realizing Carl isn't there) school. (Agent P takes off in his rocket chair.) Keep it together, Francis.

Act II
(The scene opens to a view of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated)

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

(Doofenshmirtz's alarm goes of and he sits up. In the process, he hits his head on a light hanging over his bed and falls back onto his pillow. At the same time, the alarm stops)

Doofenshmirtz: Ow! Okay, I've had enough of you! (to the light)

(He then shoots it with an handheld device that surrounds it with green energy and makes it vanish.)

Norm: (walking towards Doofenshmirtz's bed with a slice of chocolate cake) Wakey wakey, chocolate cakey! (takes a fork of it and points it at Doofenshmirtz)

Doofenshmirtz: (annoyed) How many times do I have to tell you that chocolate cake isn't for break— (Norm stuffs the bite in his mouth, Doofenshmirtz chews and swallows) I stand corrected. All right, up an' at 'em.

Norm: Sir, since when do you sleep in your lab coat?

(Doofenshmirtz looks at himself then looks at Norm angrily)

Doofenshmirtz: Since none o' your business!

(He runs out of his bedroom and Vanessa approaches him.)

Vanessa: Hey, (Doofenshmirtz stops and turns around) Dad, you have a minute?

Doofenshmirtz: Can it wait, sweetie? I've got a lot of stuff on my evil to-do list to do today. To do today. To-do to-day,

Vanessa: Dad.

Doofenshmirtz: to-do to-day, to-do to-day.

Vanessa: Dad!

Doofenshmirtz: It's like a little song! (starts doing a little dance) To-do,

Vanessa: (angrily) Dad!!

Doofenshmirtz: to-do, to-do to-day, to-do,

Vanessa: (rolling her eyes) Ugh! (walks away)

Doofenshmirtz: to-do todaaay! All the ladies in the house say— (points where Vanessa was) Wait! Where'd she go?

(Cut to Phineas, Ferb and their friends in their backyard)

Phineas: (referencing something that's offscreen) Great job gang! Whadaya think?

(Their giant invention is revealed and a fanfare sounds)

Isabella: Sooo, what is it?

Phineas: It's everything!

Buford: Who says you can't have it all?

Baljeet: Yipeee! For this and not for school. (walks away from the others and whispers) I love you school! (walks back)

Buford: (looks at Baljeet disapprovingly) Do other nerds erect statues to you?

Baljeet: (looks at Buford embarrassingly) Maybe.

Isabella: (referencing the invention) Looks pretty mega to me!

Buford: (walking over to Phineas and Ferb) Yeah, it's pretty mega, but is it really grand finale material worthy (hugs Phineas and Ferb) of these two guys? (pausing and realizing what he did) I just made it weird, didn't I?

Phineas: No, not at all!

Ferb: Hugs are a healthy expression of affection between friends.

Buford: (letting go of them and looking at Ferb) Okay, now you just made it weird.

Phineas: Anyway, we've gotta make sure we've outdone ourselves on this one.

Buford: And there's only one way to do it.

Phineas: You're right, Buford. Let's ride it! ''(everyone but Buford starts running towards the invention)

Buford: Actually I was gonna say focus group testing, (starts running to catch up to the others) but "ride it" works too.

(With everyone wearing their helmets, Ferb pulls a lever and they all get sucked up to the starting point on the invention via individual colored tubes.)

(Song: "No One I'd rather Go Nowhere With") Ba ba ba ba...  Ba ba ba ba...   You know we're going nowhere fast,   And we've got no destination   Nothing scheduled, we've got no chores to do   The sun is up, the _____ is _____,   And we're clear of all obligation   We're taking the scenic route, Just enjoy the view.

Ooo oo oooh  Ba ba ba ba   There's no one that I'd rather go nowhere with   Than yooou! Ba ba ba ba  There's no one that I'd rather go nowhere with   Than yooou!

We don't need a compass  We don't need a guiding star   We don't need a GPS to tell us where we are   Cause we know where we are

Ooo oo ooh  Ba ba ba ba   There's no one that I'd rather go nowhere with   Than yooou! Ba ba ba ba  There's no one that I'd rather go nowhere with   Than yooou!

Candace: (walking outside) Aha! The boys did it again! Big, dangerous, bustable: prime for megabust! (lifting cell phone and dialing a number) I'm calling Mom right now!

Phineas: Say "Hi" for us!

''(Cut to Linda loading groceries into her station wagon at the Super Food Stuff Mart while talking on her cell phone.) '' Linda: I know, I know. I'm on my way.

Candace: (on the cell phone) I'll meet you up front! (hangs up, then calls again) Hehehehehehehe.

(Cut to the kids in the backyard coming to the ground with parachutes)

Phineas: So, whadya say, guys? Best ride ever?

Baljeet: (looking at papers in his hands) Well, empirically speaking, the test results show almost unanimous approval ratings!

Buford: (coming down beside Baljeet) I have notes.

Baljeet: Like I said: almost.

Phineas: (smiling) Well, you heard him, Ferb. Back to the drawing board!

(Their invention compresses and folds up into a drawing board.)

Baljeet: (staring at their invention, now a drawing board) Wow, that was impressive, and quite literal.

(Candace quickly opens the fence gate with her Mom next to her.)

Candace: Tada!

Phineas: (waving to them while standing next to Ferb, who's drawing on the drawing board) Hi, Mom! Hi, Candace!

Candace: But, but but!

Linda: (taking Candace to the side) Look Candace, most days I would humor you, but not today. I'm way too busy. Don't you have stuff of your own to do before school starts?

Candace: Yeah, bust the boys!

Linda: Candace?

Candace: De-de ge-de de-de-de-de daaahhhh... (sulkily) I guess I can return Vanessa's DVDs.

Linda: There ya go, Hon. They're not gonna return themselves.

Candace: They never do.

(Cut to a view of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, where Perry arrives in his rocket chair, but is then trapped in midair inside the bass drum from Norm's drum set)

Doofenshmirtz: (approaching the drum set while looking at Perry) Ah, Perry the Platypus: snared in my trap. (Norm plays a rim shot on the drum set) Ha! Drum pun! (starts walking away from the drum set onto the balcony) I realized that all this time I was planning to become ruler of the Tri-State Area, never took into account the fact there is no actual position. I should have spent my time creating one. And, if I create it, no one will know about it. (hops up to sit on the rim of the balcony) I will run unoppo (falls off the balcony) whoooa! (catches himself with his hands and lifts his face back over the side) That was close. Then I'll easily win, and (lifts up his left hand into a fist) take over the Tri-State Area. With that in mind, (lets go with both hands) be- (holds them up in the air and starts falling) hooooooooo... (Perry is shocked, teeth clenched, eyes wide open. Then the elevator dings and Doofenshmirtz comes back in and approaches his Inator with his arms up again.)'' Behold: The Tri-Governor-inator! (a drum roll sounds, Perry rolls over Doofenshmirtz with the bass drum, and a cymbal crash sounds) Wow, an actual drum roll. (Perry hits the banister, one drum head and hoop falls off, and Perry leaps out.) Ay-ah! (the doorbell sounds as Perry leaps on Doofenshmirtz and starts fighting him)

Vanessa: (walking past them) Please, so over it. (she opens the door to let Candace in, smiling)

Candace: (waving while holding DVDs) Hey, Vanessa! Just came by here to return (realizing it's Candace, Perry lets Doofenshmirtz out of a headlock and hides) your DVDs. Sorry I had them so long, can't say I understand French cinema. I mean, why does that mime keep letting go of balloons?

Vanessa: I think it's (Perry finds a hiding spot) symbolic.

Candace: (handing Vanessa the DVDs) Well, anyway, how's it goin'?

Vanessa: (starts feeling uninterested and stops smiling) I've been better.

Candace: (still smiling and gesturing) Me too! You wouldn't believe (stops smiling, but still has her eyes wide open) the day I'm having so far! I mean really. Like I could go on. Like I could tell you all about it. I mean there's a lot that happened and there's—

Vanessa: Yooou wanna (starts smiling again) come in?

Candace: (starts smiling again and comes in while Vanessa closes the door behind her) Oh wow, ya, that'd be great!

Vanessa: I could use some downloading too. I'll go make us some tea. (starts walking away) B-R-B.

Candace: Awesome! (starts walking towards Doofenshmirtz, who is now standing and is brushing himself off) Oh, hi, Vanessa's dad! How's it goin'?

Doofenshmirtz: (turning around to talk to her) Have you seen my nemesis? He was just here a second ago. He's about (holds his hand at an approximate height of Perry) yay high and—ha. You know what? No matter. When the guy who's punching you suddenly loses interest mid-punch, it's time to take serious stock of your life. (turns around) H-ugh.

Candace: I can totally relate! (Doofenshmirtz starts walking away) Like from the beginning of today it was pretty bad. Like I'm all off.

Doofenshmirtz: (trying to find Perry) U-huh.

Candace: And you know every day this Summer I've been trying to bust my brothers, and it's just not happening.

Doofenshmirtz: U-huh.

Candace: Do you know how frustrating it is to have a single unrealized focus in your life?

Doofenshmirtz: Well that's just crazy. Gotta be some kind of teenage thing. ''(starts walking back over to her after giving up on finding Perry)

Candace: Same old, same ol' yadda yadda ya bledolbledolbledolbledolbledolbledol. That's been my day so far. (starts lowering herself onto an Inator) }} Doofenshmirtz: (runs to her and frantically waving Candace off the machine) Don't sit on that, a-and stop fussing with all of my Inators!

Candace: Inators? Why? What does this one do?

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, that is my Do-Over-Inator.

Candace: What's a Do-Over-Inator?

Doofenshmirtz: Really? It says "do over" right in the name. I-it does the day over again, but I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Matter of fact, I gotta work out the kinks in a lot o' these.

Candace: (looking at the machine) A Do-Over-inator? (presses the purple button second farthest to the left, causing the Inator to make loud mechanical noises and surround her and Doofenshmirtz with a large, glowing blue-purple bubble, then emit a blue flash)

(After we see a forever looping spiral clock, cut to Candace in her bed. Her alarm goes off saying, "BUSTIN' TIME!".)

Candace's alarm: (Phineas' voice, while beeping) I know what we're gonna do today! I know what we're—

(Candace turns off the alarm.)

Phineas: (offscreen) I know what we're gonna do today!

Candace: (growls, gets out of bed, and shouts out the window) And I know what I'm gonna do today! Bust you guys once and for all! Do your worst or your— you know, just make it (starts feeling the familiarity of the conversation) big and... bustable, so I can show... Mom.

Phineas: (Outside offscreen) Wow! That was awfully supportive.

Candace: (walks away from the window) Talk about déjà v— (runs back to the window to talk to Phineas) You there, boy! What day is it?

Phineas: Why, the last day of summer, of course!

Candace: (enthusiastically) Aaah! Yes! Vanessa's dad's machine! It worked! Which means that yesterday is today! Another chance(steps on a rollerskate) to bust the boooo- (steps on a skateboard and rolls down the stairs) -ooys! I didn't think there would be this part!– ugh! (falls off the skateboard and loses the skate, lands in a wagon, and starts rolling around the house) Har... (pauses as she rolls behind a wall) dee har har.

{{Spoiler|Linda: (reading the newspaper at the kitchen table) Oooh! Looks like the zoo's got a new tiger habitat. (Lawrence playfully roars at Linda and Candace rolls into the kitchen.) Good morning, Candace.

Candace: (smiling) Mm-hmm! (pauses) And so begins the last day of Summer! (wagon is stopped by Perry's dish and she pauses, then points at Perry) Again!

Linda and Candace: (Linda getting up with her purse) Which means back to school errands for me and making the most of the day for you.

Linda: (angrily) Hey!

Candace: (happily getting up out of the wagon and approaching Linda) Hey! This is amazing! (approaching and holding onto a chair) Today is exactly the same as yesterday! It's repeating! (leans her elbows on the chair back)

Lawrence: Very existential, darling. You're getting philosophical as you get older.

Candace: (walking away and pointing at Lawrence) And BUSTosophical!

Linda: (looking at Candace with lowered eyelids and speaking in a sing-song voice) That's not even a wo-ord!

Candace: (coming back) It is now! (walks around Linda and speaks in a sing-song voice) I made it u-up!

(Cut to Doofenshmirtz in his bed, where his alarm goes of and he sits up. In the process, he hits his head on a light hanging over his bed and falls back onto his pillow. At the same time, the alarm stops)

Doofenshmirtz: Ah! Taah... Didn't I disintegrate you? (to the light)

(He then shoots it with an handheld device that surrounds it with green energy and makes it vanish.)

Norm: (walking towards Doofenshmirtz's bed with a slice of chocolate cake) Wakey wakey, chocolate cakey! (takes a fork of it and points it at Doofenshmirtz)

Doofenshmirtz: (annoyed) Really? Didn't I tell you cake isn't for breakfast (knocks the cake out of Norm's hands and up and over the bed) yesterday? (realizes something) Hmm. (gets out of bed and runs out of his bedroom and Vanessa approaches him)

Vanessa: Hey Dad? (Doofenshmirtz turns around to see her)

Doofenshmirtz: (thinking) Hmm, repeating.

Vanessa: You have a minute?

Doofenshmirtz: M-hmm.

Vanessa: We really

Doofenshmirtz: M-hmm.

Vanessa: need to

Doofenshmirtz: M-hmm. (Vanessa growls and starts frowning) Yeah!

Vanessa: Dad!

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah! Everything is repeating! Th-that bang on my head, that-that thing with Norm and the stupid cake, a-and you! (starts walking to his Do-Over-Inator) I-it works! My Do-Over-Inator must work! Ah-your little friend must have (Vanessa catches up to him) activated it yesterday! A-and by "yesterday" I mean "today". Later today, your-uh little friend will activa– and the days will probably keep repeating until I shut it off!

Vanessa: (angrily) This is what I'm talking about. You're not even listening! (starts walking towards the door, without Doofenshmirtz noticing) I'm moving out, Dad. I'm going to live at Mom's... (walks out the door) full time. (slams the door)

Norm: (walking up to the door, still smiling) Door slams mean sadness.

Doofenshmirtz: (running over to Norm) Wait! What did she say?

(Norm presses his top button)

Norm's speaker: (Vanessa's voice) I'm going to live at Mom's... full time. (door slamming noise)

Doofenshmirtz: Aaah! I can't believe it! (inhales sharply) You surreptitiously record us? And even more importantly, I'm losing my little girl!

Act III
(Open to a view of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, then back to Doofenshmirtz and Norm)

Doofenshmirtz: Why would Vanessa want to move out?

Norm: Let's see if we can solve that little mystery! (presses his top button)

Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) Hey, Vanessa, hand me that cadaver.

Norm: or (presses his button again)

Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) Honeybun, if you go into the living room and see a pile of skin flakes, just ignore it.

Doofenshmirtz: Okay.

Norm: or (presses his button again)

Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) I know you said the time machine in the bathroom was a bad idea, but if you need to go, you should do it last week.

Doofenshmirtz: Okay! Okay! I get it. I get it. My daughter's moving out because she thinks I'm a loser.

Norm: I like pancakes!

Doofenshmirtz: Buuuut, ya know who isn't a loser? The Tri-Governor! I just need to win that office and Vanessa will want to (starts walking towards his Do-Over-Inator) stay with me! And this (pets the Inator) little baby's gonna help me get it right.

(Norm starts playing the guitar)

(Song: "Tomorrow Is this Morning Again")

Doofenshmirtz: They say you only go around once,

They say that opportunity, it never knocks twice!

But if there's one thing I can say about the people who say that: They don't have this cool devi-

Chorus Part 1: They don't have this cool devi-

Chorus Part 2: They don't have this cool devi-

Doofenshmirtz: iiice!

Chorus: iiice!

Candace: I've never even heard of déjà vu this bad,

but everything today is so familiar

Like the best recurring dream I ever had,

Like when ya know what's gonna happen, but it's still gonna fool ya!

If it keeps repeating, I should do something about it,

I don't know the repercussions if I just let it run.

If you told me there'd be consequences, I wouldn't doubt it,

But it's tempting just to let it go and use it for fuuuu-

Chorus Part 1: Use it for fu-

Chorus Part 2: Use it for fu-

Candace and Chorus: uuuuuun!

Doofenshmirtz: I could get him right,

Because today I have multiple chances.

Candace: With just a little foresight,

Doofenshmirtz: [...] -ance!

Candace: My worries will be over soon!

Doofenshmirtz: I'll rework my fate, improve my circumstances!

Candace: If I get it wrong

Doofenshmirtz and Candace: This afternoon,

Doofenshmirtz: I'll get it right today when tomorrow is this

Doofenshmirtz and Candace: Morning again!

If I get it wrong this afternoon,

I'll get it right today when tomorrow is this morning again!

If I get it wrong this afternoon,

I'll get it right today when tomorrow is this morning agaaaaaaaaaain! }}

End Credits
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