Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension/Transcript

''Open to a large pit, walking along a cliff with lava surrounded them, a chained up Phineas and Ferb are trudging to their doom. At the end of the path, a giant ferocious monster, the Goozim, is in a cage, it roars loudly, blowing their hair back''

Phineas: I'll be honest, Ferb. I'm having a hard time putting a positive spin on this. But, I guess that's life, huh? One minute you're having the best day ever, the next you're being fed to a monster the size of a two car garage.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yeah? Well, welcome to MY life!

Phineas: Huh. And everything started out so well this morning.

EARLIER THAT DAY

''Pan in to the boys bedroom. Phineas's alarm clock rings 7:00 and a mechanical arm emerges out of it and pokes a sleeping Perry awake, he chatters, waking Phineas and Ferb''

Phineas: Good morning, Perry! Now that's the way to wake up. (He hugs Perry) This is gonna be the best day ever.

The song "Everything's Better with Perry" plays as the boys get dressed and ready for the day

Phineas, Ferb, and Perry slide down the staircase railing and land in a pile on the floor, Perry chatters

Lawrence: Good morning, boys.

Linda: Happy Anniversary, Perry.

Phineas: Oh, that's right! Gosh, I can't believe it's been 5 years. I remember the day we first got you.

 Flashback to 5 years ago, Lawernce and Linda take a younger Phineas, Ferb, and Candace to the "OWCA Animal Rescue Center" 

Lawrence: Come on, kids. Pick out any pet you want.

Linda: Oh look, Phineas! This one's looking at you!

''She picks up Phineas and shows him the cat looking at him"

Lawrence: And this ones looking at you, Ferb!

 He picks him up and shows him the dog looking at him

Candace walks through the aquarium section and all the fish swim away as she approaches

Young Candace: Why won't anything look at ME?!

Young Phineas: Ferb! This one's looking at both of us at the same time!

A baby Perry is shown, he chatters

Linda: Awww...

Young Candace: That thing? You're kidding, right?

A female store employee apporaches them

Store employee: Is there something I can do for you?

Lawrence: Ah, yes, we'd like that one, please.

Store employee: (Surprised/Confused) You want to adopt a platypus?

Lawrence: Oh, is that what it is? Well, yes! May we have him please?

Young Candace: What would you even NAME a platypus?

Phineas: (Narrating) Course, Ferb and I knew exactly what to call you.

Young Phineas and Ferb: (simultaneously) Bartholomew.

Baby Perry chatters, Flash forward to the present

Phineas: And then when we got you home, we renamed you Perry. And gave you this locket!

Phineas reaches into Perry's fur and pulls out a web foot shaped locket on a collar, he opens the locket around Perry's neck revealing three pictures, one of Phineas, Ferb, and Perry

Phineas: Look at how young we all were.

Cut to Candace in her room, talking on her cellphone

Candace: Hey Jeremy, you wanna go to the mall?

Jeremy: (At his house) You know, I'd love to, but my Dad is taking me to check out his old college today.

Mr. Johnson: (runs in) Boo-ya! Go polecats! Boo-ya! (he runs away)

Jeremy: He's already set up an interview with the academic advisor. Can you believe that?

Candace: Gee, Jeremy. I forgot you're a whole year older than me. A trip to college? (nervous laugh) That's, that's really great. Okay, well, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

Candace hangs up phone and picks up a stuffed teddybear with a picture of Jeremy taped to its face

Candace: (speaking to the teddybear) Oh, Jeremy! In the blink of an eye, you'll be moving on to the next phase of your life. You'll be going to college and wearing tweed jackets with patches on the elbows! You'll be so mature!

Candace looks angrily into the mirror

Candace: And look at ME! I'm a child! Jeremy, you'll see! I can mature! Starting with taking this silly photo off. (rips off photo)

Candace: (surprised and happy) Oh, Mr. Miggins! Have you been there the whole time?!

''Cut to Phineas and Ferb in the backyard. Ferb is placing a baseball on Perry's tail''

Phineas: (holding a baseball bat and taping the homeplate) Alright, look like the pitcher's ready, and...batter up!

Ferb straches Perry's neck and Perry's tail snaps forward flinging the baseball toward Phineas

Phineas: Batter batter batter, swing!

Phineas swings at the baseball and hits

Phineas: Oh yes, sports fans! That may be the best hit ever in the history of platapult baseball!

Ferb checks the Platapult Baseball World Record Book and gives Phineas a thumbs up

Phineas: And the crowd exhales loudly through their mouths! (imitates a roaring crowd)

Ferb uses the remote control baseball glove to guide the ball back

Phineas: And Fletcher snags the pop fly! He's out!

Isabella enters

Isabella: Hi, Phineas! What'cha doin'?

Phineas: Turning Perry's involuntary reflex into sporting event.

Isabella: Hi, Perry! Can I try?

Isabella stratches Perry's neck and the baseball is capapulted out of the yard

Phineas: Woah, Momma! Nice shot, Isabella!

Bufford and Baljeet enter, Baljeet is holding the baseball

Baljeet: Did someone lose a ball?

Phineas: Yeah, we were just playing platapult.

Baljeet: Oh, I LOVE Platapus themed sports!

Phineas: You know, if we had TWO Perrys, we could put a net between them and play platapult badnminton!

Bufford: Who's Annette?

Phineas: Ferb, that's it! I know what we're gonna do today!

Bufford: No seriously, who's Annette?

The Qurky Worky Song plays breifly as they finish up a mechanical platypult

Phineas: Okay, everyone. I think the tail is all set. I'll just go check with the foreman.

Isabella: (noticing Perry's absence) He's gone!

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry? (he checks under the machine) Did he really slip away? On his anniversary? Sometimes it seems like Perry's missed every single cool thing we've done all summer long. Well, I guess he can do whatever he wants. After all, it's HIS day, right?

''Perry is shown hiding behind the tree, his fedora on. He thows a pebble at the fence''

Baljeet: Hey, what was the small noise?

Phineas: Let's all go walk over to it!

Perry slips into the house while their gone, he goes to the couch and pulls back a mirror over it, revealing a hole, he goes in and rides a vacuum tube down to his lair, passing by Pinky the Chihuahua and other agents, as he lands at his seat, Major Monogram is on screen

Major Monogram: Ah, good morning, Agent P. A quick word, recently you've been having some close calls, and your host family has nearly caught you sneaking into your lair several times. No need to remind you, but I'll do it anyway, that if your cover's blown, you'll have to be transfered to another city, with another host family. And we both know you wouldn't like that. (chuckles) I remember the day you were first assigned.

Flashback to when the Flynn-Fletcher family was just walking out of the adoption agency with their new platypus

Female store employee: Enjoy your platypus!

Lawrence: Thank you! Cheerio!

(the employee takes off her head, revealing its a mask, under it is a younger Carl with braces on)

Younger Carl: (into a headset) Agent assignment complete, sir.

We see a younger Monogram in a computer filled room, his hair and mustache are jet black

Younger Monogram: Good job, Carl! If you keep up the great work, you'll make unpaid intern in no time!

Flash forward to present

Carl: (off screen) And I did!

Major Monogram: Don't get cocky, Carl! Agent P, as you know, every operative is equipped with an auto-scan replication device, just like the one in your hat. We've been using the information you've gathered to replicate each and every one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's inators. Our top men have been analyzing them to determine if they've been getting smarter or dumber. And, to be honest, the jury's still out. Now we find out that he's in the process of building an alternate dimension-related inator. Your assignment is to stop him, before he finishes building it. Behind you, rising dramatically from the floor, is Karl with some high-tech devices that you might find useful.

A platform rises with dramatic music, on it is a large container of devices

Carl: (off-screen) Um, Sir? Hello? I didn't step on in time. Would you mind lowering the platform again?

Major Monogram: Oh, great, let me... cue the music again.

Rewind dramatic music and plays it again as Carl rises with the platform this time

Carl: Voila monsieur! (He shows a wristwatch) This first item is our new wrist-communicationizer. It has many applications that will help you in the field. For example a powerful directional electro-magnet. It will draw any metal object to you. (He pushes a button and his glasses are drawn to it'')

Carl: See? And these are alluminum!

Major Monogram: Quit goofing around, Carl, and show him the hologram.

Carl: Yes, sir. (he pushes a button on the watch and turns on hologram of Major Monogram)

Major Monogram: Hehe, pretty nifty, huh? (from the hologram) With this device, you'll be able to contact me anywhere at anytime, but don't call between 3:30 and 4:00, because...that's when I take a shower. Whoa wee, wait a minute. (Points to Monogram on the big screen) Is that me? (Becomes mesmerized)

Carl: Oh, no! His holographic projection has become mesmerized by his video image! I better shut it off. (He shuts off the hologram, then points to the watch again)

Karl: And if you push THIS button, it'll give your adversary an incredible ice cream headache. (He pushes button and immediately screams and holds his head in pain, then stops) It's gone. You better watch where you point that. (''He hands the watch over to Perry")

cut to Candace's room, where she is shown packing her belongings into a cardboard box, Stacy enters

Stacy: Hey, girl. Uh, what are you doing?

Candace: Stacy, Jeremy's going to college soon, and here I am concerned with busting my brother to my MOMMY and living in the NURSERY. (She picks up a ceramic unicorn) A unicorn! A UNICORN, Stacy! (mockingly) "Hi, I'm six!" You've GOTTA help me get rid of all this junk.

Stacy: Wow, bold move!

Candace: Yep! Good bye, childhood folly. Hello, care-free undemanding adult life!

Linda enters

Linda: Yeah, good luck with that. Candace, you're father and I are off to the movies. While we're gone, you're in charge, okay?

Candace: Okay, Mom!

Linda exits

Candace: (motioning outside the window) And you know, I'm even thinking of giving up on busting my brothers.

Stacy: The irony is, that as a grown up, you don't NEED to tell your mom. You can just bust them yourself.

Candace: (gasps) That's it! Stacy, I'm old enough to bust them myself!

Stacy: That's what I just said.

Cut to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated

Chorus: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Doofenshmirtz is inside, talking to what looks like Perry in a chair

Doofenshmirtz: Now, Perry the Platypus, quake in terror, as I punch a hole through to another dimension! (shows his Other Dimensionator) Behold! The Other Dimension-

Norm: Sir!

Doofenshmirtz: What? What?

(We see Norm in front of a large buffet table)

Norm: I've finished setting up the buffet.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh for crying out loud, Norm, I was in the zone!

Norm: I just thought you were playing with your doll.

(Doofenshmirtz picks up what we now see is a Perry doll made from various items)

Doofenshmirtz- It's not a doll, its a stand-in, Pretendy the Practice-pus, see? I wonder if Perry the Platypus practices with a fake me? It would be nice to know he cares about-

(''something falls off the stand-in, cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard, the mechanical platypault is finished and Phineas and Ferb are inside the giant shuttlecock)

Phineas: All systems are green, prepare to launch on my mark, tee minus 30 and counting.

(He counts down as Isabella winds it up, cut to Perry's lair, Carl shows another gadget)

Carl: Of course, you'll only need this if your attacked by one of the royals or a member of Parliament, so it's probably okay to leave the safety on

He sets it down

Carl: And here's your brand new rocket-car. He shows it as Perry gets in and starts it Sweet huh? Good luck, Agent P!

Major Monogram: Uh, Karl, did you tell him the accelerator's a little touchy?

The rocket car roars off, leaving a scorch mark on the ground

Carl: I think he knows, sir.

Cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard

Phineas: 3,2,1, service!

Isabella pushes a button marked INVOLUNTARY REFLEX, and the platypult launches them, at the same time, Perry's rocket car bursts out of the ground nearby and collides with it, sending them both careening away from each other, Candace and Stacy run into the backyard

Candace: Phineas and Ferb, you are so bus-Oh my gosh! Where'd it go? You there! Small children! Where's the big contraption?

Isabella: I don't know, it was here just a moment ago.

Candace: It disappeared! Stacy, do you realize what this means?

Stacy: We're done?

Candace: No, some mysterious force always takes away Phineas and Ferb's inventions before Mom shows up, this time, it took it away before I showed up! The mysterious force recognizes that i'm now a grown-up!

Stacy: "Mysterious Force"?, i'm not buying it, I am a woman of science, at least that's what my horoscope said.

Candace: Well i'm going to prove it to you and bust my brothers at the same time, Where are my brothers?

Baljeet: We just launched them toward the park, Buford is there with the other platypult.

Candace: Okay children, as the adult here, I say we're going to the park, does anyone need to go potty before we leave?

Stacy raises her hand, cut to Phineas and Ferb heading right for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated

Phineas: It looks like we're going to hit that building that looks vaguely like your head!

Doofenshmirtz walks to the Other-Dimensionator

Doofenshmirtz- Time to give it a little test. (he turns it on, it starts for a brief second, then shuts down) Hmm, Well I just finished it, it can't be broken already.

Just then, Phineas and Ferb smash into it

Doofenshmirtz: (sighs) I stand corrected. (Phineas and Ferb get out of the shuttlecock as Doofenshmirtz walks up to them) Alright, what's with the giant shuttlecock?

Phineas: We're really sorry, sir, I don't know what happened, one minute we were innocently launching ourselves across the city in a badminton platypault, the next thing we know, we're bouncing on up to the east side to your deluxe apartment in the sky.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, it looks like you've totaled my Other-Dimensionator.

Phineas: An Other-Dimensionator? What does it do?

Doofenshmirtz: Well, at the moment, it just stops giant shuttlecocks, apparently, but it's supposed to let me go into other dimensions.

Phineas: Oh, that's cool, we can help you fix it, i'm Phineas and this is my brother Ferb.

Doofenshmirtz- I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, but my friends call me.... (stops and thinks) I just got into such a funk.

Phineas: Ferb is naturally handy with tools, I'll bet we could put this thing back together again in no time.

Doofenshmirtz; Ah, what the heck, before we set up, theirs a whole buffet here, please partake, I was expecting someone who seems to be running late.

''We cut to Perry on the ground, his smoking rocket car is being picked up by a tow truck'

Driver: Your lucky I got a rocket car winch, lots of guys don't have that.

Back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, the boys have restored the Other-Dimensionator

Phineas: Almost there, okay, field compressor attaches to the auxiliary generator, was this working before?

Doofenshmirtz: Well if by "working", you mean "functioning properly", then, uh, no.

Phineas: Well I think I see your problem, everything is wired through this self destruct button, do you even need that?

Doofenshmirtz: Well of course I need tha-Wait! No I don't, I do not need that, you are absolutely right, huh.

Phineas: So Ferb has rigged up this remote control, so that if we get separated from the portal, we can open another one.

Ferb holds it up

Doofenshmirtz- Huh, nice touch kid. (Phineas holds up a piece)

Phineas: I guess this is the last piece, okay Ferb, boost me up.

Ferb lifts him, at that moment, unbeknownst to them, Perry crashes through the window on his jetpack, ready to attack, he stops as he sees the boys and lands, his eyes dart nervously as he looks

Doofenshmirtz: Ooh, I cannot wait!

Perry takes a step back, Phineas hears, he turns to look, and Perry is back in pet mode, he chatters

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

Doofenshmirtz: Perry?

Phineas: Yeah, he's our pet platypus.

Doofenshmirtz: Is every platypus named Perry?

Phineas: In a perfect world, yes.

Doofenshmirtz: Aww, well he's a cute little fella, hi there, (he tickles Perry's chin) Gootchie... (Perry chomps down on his finger) OW OW OW!

Phineas: Perry, no! (He and Ferb pull him off) We do not bite the elderly!

Doofenshmirtz- Again, Ow. No, its okay, platypuses don't typically like me.

Phineas: Well Perry, your just in time to see us open up a portal to another dimension. (Perry's eyes widen, Phineas and Ferb are about to put the piece in, when Perry leaps and grabs it in his mouth) Perry, what are you doing? (Perry goes under the buffet table, Phineas and Ferb grab the piece and pull) Perry no, this is not tug of war, this is not tug of war! (Phineas pulls the piece out) Silly boy, what's gotten into him?

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, let's get this show on the road, huh?

Perry looks on, Monogram's head appears next to him

Major Monogram: Remember, if your cover's blown, you'll never see the boys again.

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, does anyone hear someone talking?

We see the Monogram head is actually the hologram from Perry's watch

Major Monogram: Never see them again...

Perry covers the watch and walks over to the nearby couch

Phineas: Okay, here we go, (Ferb lifts him) right in he-

They hear a urinating sound and turn to see Perry peeing on the couch, he then jumps off

Phineas: Perry, no! (He and Ferb run over, he wags a finger) Not on the sofa! (Ferb picks him up) Oh, i'm sorry, Dr. D, we should take him outside.

They walk, Perry smiles

Doofenshmirtz: No no, its alright ("he turns over the cushion) I was planning on replacing this old couch anyway. (He walks up to them) Now come on, lets light this pop stand, or however the saying goes. (Perry looks nervous as they go to the machine, Phineas inserts the piece and it powers up) You know its, its kinda weird, i'm usually thwarted by this point, huh, I guess he's not coming, (he turns it on, a portal forms'') And now, the mind blowing first images from beyond our dimensional reality!

Their eyes all widen as it forms, in it, we see a room with a couch, a lamp on a table, and two pictures, everything is in shades of pink and purple

Doofenshmirtz: Huh, its a-it's a couch. That's a bit anti-climactic, I guess it's a nice couch, though. "(He looks back and forth between his couch and the other one) Hmm, hey, I got an idea, let's swap my couch for that one! (he enters the portal'')

Phineas: Uh...

Doofenshmirtz grabs the couch and tries to pull it to the portal

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I got it, I got- uh, maybe, hey, you want to give me a hand here?

Phineas: Whoa, awesome! (He and Ferb, who's still holding Perry, enter the portal) Check it out!

Doofenshmirtz still struggles with the couch

Voice: Ahem

Doofenshmirtz turns and sees the 2nd dimension Monogram, he is at a booth, wearing a purple tour guide uniform

Doofenshmirtz: Oh uh, hello, say, aren't you-

Phineas: Hey Dr. D! Look at this!

Doofenshmirtz: Hold that thought "he runs over to a balcony, Phineas, Ferb, and Perry are looking out''

Phineas: Your famous here!

Doofenshmirtz looks out, we see the 2nd Dimension Tri-State Area, which is various colors of purples, pinks and greens, we see various places, all named after Doofenshmirtz, we see 2nd Dimension Doofenshmirtz, he wears a black lab coat buttoned over grey pants and black boots, and grey gloves, he has a goatee, and an eyepatch on his left eye, which has a scar that goes over the patch

We see a large statue of Doofenshmirtz-2, he rides a rhino, holding a shield that reads ME, and holding a sword that reads OBEY

We see a store called Doof's Closet, signs on it read YOUR HOTSPOT FOR MANDATORY DOOFERALLS!, CLOTHES YOU MUST OWN!, HIGH PRICES!, EXPENSIVE!, THE LATEST IN REQUIRED CONFORMITY!

A subway train with Doofenshmirtz-2's face pulls into the station, its doors open

Doofenshmirtz-2's VO: Get off!

A blimp passes over them, Doofenshmirtz looks

Doofenshmirtz: (Reading) Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Your Leader?

Perry has an incredibly nervous look on his face, he gulps

Doofenshmirtz- A whole Tri-State Area where I am already in charge! (chuckles) Yeah! Wait a minute, I gotta go check something out. (he goes up to Monogram-2) Uh, yoo-hoo! Hello again!

Monogram-2: Is this some kind of test? Is that really you, sir?

Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha! Holy Boy! Even the great Francis Monogram's my slave in this dimension!

Monogram-2: I prefer the term "Indentured Executive Assistant".

Doofenshmirtz: Well, I want to meet this other dimension me, where can I find him?

Monogram-2: Oh, your from another dimension? Well then he'll probably want to see you, he's into that freaky sorta stuff. Have a seat and i'll let him know your on your way up.

He pushes a button on a control and a chair slides in, Doofenshmirtz gets on

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, so I just gotta sit here and- (it slides away, he screams as two doors open and he enters, a song starts up as he goes into an anamatronic ride filled with gnomes, he passes by the Gunther Goat Cheese's Goat and waves)

Gnomes: ♪ Doof Doof Doof♪ ♪Bask in his glory♪ ♪Kneel at his feet ♪ Your in for such a treat♪ ♪He's Doofenshmirtz!♪

(He enters another room)

Doofenshmirtz- That was awesome! (He slides up to a desk, a chair turns to reveal Doofenshmirtz-2)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Alright, who's interrupting my- (He stops and sees Doofenshmirtz, they both Hmm, they get up, switch seats, hmm, and switch seats again, and hmm again'') Do I know you?

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, i'm you from another dimension.

Doofenshmirtz-2: Well that would explain the handsomeness.

Doofenshmirtz: Right back atcha, big guy.

Doofenshmirtz-2: Does that mean you and I are exactly alike?

Doofenshmirtz: I suppose so.

(Song: A Brand New Best Friend (and It's Me))

Doofenshmirtz-2: Do you want some rice pudding?

Doofenshmirtz: Blech, no, that's gross!

Doofenshmirtz-2: It was a test. Almond brittle?

Doofenshmirtz: Ooh, I love it the most!

Doofenshmirtz-2: Me too!

Doofenshmirtz: Do you collect coins?

Doofenshmirtz2: Yeah, just in case

Vending machines become the

Both: Dominant race! I've been alone all these years

With my irrational fears

Doofenshmirtz: ''But not the vending machine thing. That's gonna happen.''

Doofenshmirtz-2: But now before me I see

Both: Someone with whom I agree

I've found a brand new best friend and it's me

I've found a brand new best friend and it's me

(During the chorus, we see them as John Lennon and Paul McCartney of the Beatles, the Blues Brothers, Simon and Garfunkel, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Laverne and Shirley, and Ralph and Ed from The Honeymooners)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Hmm, I thought I'd be taller

Doofenshmirtz: I've been told I slouch

I thought I've have both my eyes, y'know...

Doofenshmirtz-2: (holds up a pouch) It's in this pouch

Doofenshmirtz: Ouch!

Doofenshmirtz: You know, I can't help but notice that your scar goes over your eyepatch.

Doofenshmirtz-2: Yeah...

Doofenshmirtz: [pause] ...Nothing...

Doofenshmirtz: Do llamas weird you out?

Doofenshmirtz2: Yeah, are they camels or sheep?

Doofenshmirtz: No, no, I meant Lorenzo Doofenshmirtz2: Oh, that's right

Both: He played Meap!

(They play xylophone on an animal skeleton)

Now I know all about you

And you know all about me'' '' Doofenshmirtz: Ooh-wee-ooh

Both: And now before me I see

Someone with whom I agree

I've found a brand new best friend and it's me

I've found a brand new best friend and it's me

(We see them as Lucy and Ethel, Bacon and Eggs, Laurel and Hardy, Phineas and Ferb, a man and woman dancing, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, and Lewis and Clark)

Now that I've found you

We can be a duo

Doofenshmirtz: That's right.

Both: Twice the evil

Double Doofenshmirtz

Doofenshmirtz: Coming at you Fridays!

Doofenshmirtz-2: What's that, are we doing a TV show together?

Doofenshmirtz: "Oh no. It just sort of sounded like that. Well, I mean, we could. We should!"

Doofenshmirtz-2: Hmm, maybe we're not so much alike"  Doofenshmirtz: "That can be your catchphrase! You're the grumpy one. [Pokes him] Ah?"

(Meanwhile, Perry, Phineas and Ferb are still on the balcony)

Phineas: Wow, he's done really well for himself, what do you think, Perry?

(He holds Perry up, Perry looks around nervously for a second, then reverts to pet mode and chatters)

Phineas: Hey, where is Dr. D?

(Back in Doofenshmirtz-2's office)

Doofenshmirtz-2: So what your telling me is your still not ruler of your Tri-State Area?

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah? Well obviously YOU did not have to deal with MY nemesis, Perry the Platypus!

Doofenshmirtz-2: Oh didn't I? Observe! ("He motions to a doorway, it opens, and something steps out'')

Doofenshmirtz: What is it?

(It walks into the light, we see it's Perry-2, or Platyborg, he salutes)

Doofenshmirtz-2: This is Perry the Platyborg! He was once my nemesis, but now, he is general of my army!

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, you are good!

Doofenshmirtz-2: Dismissed.

(Platyborg salutes again and rockets off, Phineas, Ferb, and Perry ride in on the same chairs Doofenshmirtz did)

Phineas: That was awesome!

Doofenshmirtz-2: Ugh, now who's interrupting me? Remind me to berate my Indentured Executive Assistant!

Doofenshmirtz- No no man, it's cool, their with me.

(Phineas, Ferb, and Perry walk up)

Phineas: Hey Dr. D, we thought we lost you.

Doofenshmirtz- Hey guys! (Doofenshmirtz-2 grabs him) Whoops!

Doofenshmirtz-2: You dare to bring a secret agent in here?

Doofenshmirtz: This boy's a secret agent?

Doofenshmirtz-2: No, no, not him!

Doofenshmirtz: The quiet one?

(Ferb turns to Phineas and shrugs)

Doofenshmirtz-2: No no, HIM!

Doofenshmirtz: This plant? (We see a small potted plant next to Phineas, Ferb and Perry)

Doofenshmirtz-2: The platypus! That's secret agent Perry the Platypus!

Phineas: Whoa whoa, hey, he's just a platypus, he doesn't do much.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, oh this rich, I see what's going on here, you, you really think that he's your pet, don't you? (shoves away his desk and chair) WRONG! He's using you, your just his cover, he's a secret agent! And i'm going to prove it to you! (he looks up) General Platyborg, come down here at once!, He'll be here in just a minute, and then-

Platyborg lands on Doofenshmirtz-2's foot, he yells in pain and holds his foot, then stops

Doofenshmirtz-2: Alright Platyborg, you see that platypus? You know what to do.

(Platyborg charges and smacks Perry away)

Phineas: Perry!

(Perry lands on his feet and shakes himself)

Phineas: What was that for? (He and Ferb run to Perry) Perry, are you okay?

Doofenshmirtz: Told ya!

(Ferb checks Perry with a stethoscope)

Phineas- How are his vitals?

Doofenshmirtz-2: Wait, let me try something. Platyborg, do the same thing to those two boys.

Doofenshmirtz- What?

(Platyborg leaps and charges at Phineas)

Phineas: What?

(Platyborg is about to punch, when Perry stands upright and socks him back)

Chorus: (singing) Perry!

Phineas: Perry?

Doofenshmirtz-2: HA! YES! I knew it!

Doofenshmirtz: Wait-Wait a minute, i'm confused, why does their platypus fight so good?

(Perry pulls out his fedora and puts it on)

Doofenshmirtz: (gasps) Perry the Platypus?

Doofenshmirtz-2: Really?

Doofenshmirtz: What?

(Doofenshmirtz-2 facepalms and groans)

Phineas: Perry?

Doofenshmirtz-2: Get them!

(Two armored bots come at them, Perry pulls Phineas and Ferb away)

Phineas: Your a secret agent?

(They swerve as more bots come in, they slide under the animal skeleton, a bot knocks away the skull)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Hey, be careful with that!

(The skull slides near a window, Phineas, Ferb, and Perry back up)

Phineas- So this is where you disappear to everyday? You come here and fight this guy?

Doofenshmirtz- No no, he fights me, he doesn't really know this guy.

Phineas: You fight a pharmacist? Why would you even do that?

Doofenshmirtz- Actually, i'm an evil scientist, but a lot of people are confused by the lab coat.

Phineas- Your evil? He's evil? (They back up to the window pane) So not only have you been leading a double life this whole time, but you sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?

Ferb: Well, he did pee on the couch.

Doofenshmirtz: Wait a second, I just realized, that was a conscious choice! You peed on my couch!

(Perry shrugs embarrassedly)

Phineas: No no, that wasn't enough, that's when you should've put on your little hat, not now, after we've gone forward into this mess!

(Perry looks at the skull on the window)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Oh, for badness sake, you can hash all this out in prison, guards!

(Perry pushes a button on his watch, Doofenshmirtz-2 grabs at his head)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Ahh! Brainfreeze!

(Perry opens the window, they fall out, Phineas screams, Perry sticks his foot in the skull's eye sockets and Phineas and Ferb grab the horns, his chute opens up)

Chorus: Agent P!

Phineas: I, I'm sorry, i'm just having trouble processing this right now. (Perry hands him a pamphlet) (Reading) "So You've Discovered Your Pet is a Secret Agent"- (throws it away'') I don't want your pamphlet!

(Platyborg leaps down after them, wings extend out of his back and he darts to them)

Phineas: Uh oh, (Perry moves them away, Platyborg turns back and flies at them) He's coming back around!

(Perry dislodges the chute as Platyborg cuts through, they land and slide down another window bank, Platyborg rockets back at them, Perry struggles to remove his feet from the skull, Phineas looks)

Phineas: Oh you have got to be kidding me! (Perry still struggles) Oh for crying out loud!

(Platyborg rockets back, Phineas and Ferb both try to pull Perry free)

Phineas: What, they didn't teach you how to get out of this in Spy School? (Perry is flung, he lands up on the windows and balances himself, Platyborg lands next to him and his wings retract, Perry turns the skull to face him)

Phineas: Oh snap! (Perry's discarded parachute lands on them) Look, theirs a logo on this parachute! He's got his own logo?

(Perry makes a "come and get it" motion, Platyborg charges, they fight, Perry grabs Platyborg's arm and punches Platyborg's face several times, with no effect, Platyborg smirks evilly and punches Perry, sending him back near the edge, Platyborg morphs his hand into a spinning mace, but Phineas and Ferb wrap him in the parachute, he stumbles and falls off the edge)

Phineas: All this time, we're like "He's a platypus, he doesn't do much", well apparently you do, you-you, your tangled up! (the skull is caught in the chute lines, Phineas and Ferb grab on, they fall, Platyborg grabs a nearby ledge and Phineas, Ferb, and Perry are flung into a window pane, they all tip as they hit each one, lowering them to the ground)

Phineas: Wow, saved by unconventional archetecture.

A shadow covers them, we see its one of the robots with Norm's head

Normbot: May I please see your papers? (They stare, the Normbot replaces its normal head with an armored one) (Deep voice) Show me your papers or be destroyed.

They hear a whistling noise, the skull lands on the Normbot's head, it sputters and flies off erratically, the door opens and Platyborg comes out, tearing off the chute, he marches up to them, then he hears a noise and looks, the Normbot lands, but right behind him, Platyborg then goes back to marching, but is then hit by a bus, Perry, Phineas, and Ferb run

Both Doofenshmirtz's: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Doofenshmirtz: Jinx, you owe me a soda!

Normbot: Get me, I'm a Georgia O'Keefe painting!

A taxi pulls up, Platyborg is stuck on the windshield

Driver: 4th and Main. (Platyborg gets off and hands him some money) What? No tip? (Platyborg turns his hand into the mace) Never mind, i'm good (He drives off, Platyborg looks around)

(Phineas, Ferb, and Perry hide in an alley behind a dumpster as several Normbot's hover by, Phineas looks)

Phineas: Looks like their gone. (Looks at Perry) Your a secret agent? And you've been living with us this whole time? Was that evil guy right? Were we just your cover story? Were you ever really our pet or part of our family? (Perry looks down, depressed) Well I guess not, since you didn't trust us enough to tell us. Anyone else here leading a bizarre double life? (Ferb raises his hand) Put your hand down, Ferb. (Ferb lowers it, Perry looks away, ashamed) Your a secret agent, he's a secret agent! (Ferb puts a hand on Phineas' shoulder) Your right, Ferb, we have to concentrate on the task at hand, we need to get back to our dimension, and I don't even know where to start.

(Ferb holds up the remote)

Phineas: Oh that's right, the remote! (he takes it) I knew that would come in handy! Alright, let's go home! (he aims the device and opens a portal, we see a pastel colored forrest are with a weird, six eyed lizard type creature) Wait, that's not our dimension, (He shuts the portal, taps the remote and opens and closes portals in different spots, each has the same image) Nope. Uh uh. Not that one. Great, now this thing's broken. We're gonna need some help. I know! Let's go find us!

They peek behind the dumpster, Phineas looks at Perry

Phineas: Wait a minute, I just realized, you could've been cleaning your own litter box this whole time! (Perry shrugs) Oh we are not done with this conversation! (They run off)

(Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz is squeezed into a small school chair, Doofenshmirtz-2 is by a picture of Perry in pet mode)

Doofenshmirtz-2: So tell me, other-dimension me, (Points to the image) What do you see here?

Doofenshmirtz: An ordinary platypus.

(Doofenshmirtz-2 flips the page, now showing an image of Perry in secret agent mode)

Doofenshmirtz-2: And now what do you see?

Doofenshmirtz: (gasps) Perry the Platypus!

Doofenshmirtz-2: You know, i'm starting to see why you haven't become ruler in your dimension.

Doofenshmirtz: Alright, Mr. "Eviler then Thou", how did you manage to take over the Tri-State Area, anyway?

Doofenshmirtz-2: Simple, I used an army of big, scary robots.

(Motions to a huge army of Normbots, they convert to the Norm heads)

Normbots: We should do lunch sometime! (they revert back to the armored heads)

Doofenshmirtz: Wow, that is scary, I tried that robot thing once too, I hid the self destruct button on the bottoms of their feet, so nobody could reach them.

(We flashback to Doofenshmirtz with his army of bots, all which have the foot with the self destruct button raised up, he rides on the shoulder of one of the bots)

Doofenshmirtz: And march! (They all step down and explode, flash forward to present)

Doofenshmirtz: I think i've said enough. I still don't get it, if we're the same person, how come your so much better at being evil then me?

Doofenshmirtz-2: True evil is born through pain and loss. You see, when I was a small boy back in Gimmelshtump, I had a toy train.

(We flashback to young Doofenshmirtz-2, still with the eyepatch, but no scar, he holds a wooden train, we then see him looking at the tracks)

Doofenshmirtz-2 VO: Then one day, I lost it.

Young Doofenshmirtz-2: Choo Choo?

(Flashforward to present, Doofenshmirtz stares)

Doofenshmirtz: That's-That's it?

Doofenshmirtz-2: What do you mean?

Doofenshmirtz: That's your emotionally scarring backstory? That's your great tragedy? Dude, I was raised by Ocelots, literally, disowned by my parents and raised by Central American wildcats, and your telling me you lost a toy train? That's it? That's all you got? Really? I had to work as a lawn gnome, I was forced to wear hand-me-up girls clothing, neither of my parents showed up for my birth!

(We see each event as he says it)

Doofenshmirtz-2: Well, how did YOU feel when you lost that toy train?

Doofenshmirtz: Well, I never lost that toy train.

Doofenshmirtz-2: Well, maybe if you had, you would've done better. Since you have neglected to take over YOUR Tri-State Area, I think I'll go over there and give it a shot myself.

Doofenshmirtz: Great, we can be a team!

Doofenshmirtz-2: (Sarcastic) Yeah, right, a team.

Doofenshmirtz: Wait, was that saracsm?

Doofenshmirtz-2: (Sarcastic) No...

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, right there, i'm pretty sure that's my voice when i'm being sarcastic.

(We cut to our dimension, Candace, Stacy, Isabella, and Baljeet walk up to Buford, who is on a park bench, chewing some gum)

Candace: Buford, where are Phineas and Ferb?

Buford: How should I know? They never showed up for me to return serve. That's considered a forfeit in catapult badminton, so I went to get some Victory Gum.

(He holds up the package, it reads VICTORY GUM, EVEN IF YOU WIN BY FORFEITURE)

Singer: Victory Gum!

Buford: A tradition as old as the game itself.

Candace: Don't play with me, young man, where is the giant platypault they built?

(Buford stretches the gum)

Buford: Don't know, it seems to have vanished.

Candace: Oh really? Did you hear that, Stace? The mysterious force took the platypault away before I, the grown up, could see it.

Stacy: Yeah yeah, i'm sure theirs a logical explanation for all of this.

(We cut to the tow truck driver from before towing the Platypault)

Driver: And they laughed at me for installing a platypault tow rig. Who's laughing now, Wayne?

(Back to the park)

Candace: The logical explanation IS the mysterious force, the question is, why does it care so much about my little brothers? Why doesn't it want them to get busted?

Buford: Well, why don't you ask it, Kierkegaard? (They stare) What? Existentialist Trading Cards (Holds up a pack) Came with the gum.

Candace: Wait, he's right! I should just ask it, I'll bet I can reason with it.

Stacy: Reason with it? Candace, its a force, that you made up!

Candace: No, I know what i'm talking about, Stacy, Come on! (Pulls her)

Stacy: Where are we going?

Candace: To my backyard, the heart of the mysterious force!

(The kids look, Baljeet then pulls out two cards)

Baljeet: Would you like to trade two Sartre for a Nietzsche?

Buford: Alright. (He takes the cards and hands the other over)

Baljeet: Sucker.