S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants)

S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants), is the name of the rap/hip-hop song in the episode "Comet Kermillian" by a group of rapping street performers called 2 Guyz N the Parque in the Danville Park. The song was improvised when Candace passed by the group, struggling to get two squirrels out of her pants. Immediately before, Suzy Johnson had used a croquet mallet to shoot an acorn into her pants and the squirrels followed the acorn. In Phineas and Ferb's Musical Cliptastic Countdown, S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) was the 5th favorite song chosen by Phineas and Ferb fans.

Indented lines are sung at the same time as the line above it.

Broadcast version Lyrics
Candace: ''AHHH! AAAAAHHHHH! AHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! AHH!''

Street Performer 1: Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!

Candace: AHHHHHHHH!

There are squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.

Candace: There's squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Tell me what's making you jump like that!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens,

Ain't got no rats.....

Background singers: S-I-M-P,

Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P,

Then maybe you can be moving like me...

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, watering your plants...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah...

Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence living in France...

Background singers: She can't see the-

Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: ''Squirrels! Squirrels!''

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P,

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Candace: AAH!

Street Performer 1: ''Wow! She had actual squirrels in her pants.''

Street Performer 2: We just got served.

Extended version
thumb|300px|right

Candace: There are squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Tell me what's makin' you jump like that!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens,

Ain't got no rats...

Background singers: S-I-M-P,

Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1 and Background Singers: S to the I to the M to the P,

Then maybe you can be movin' like me...

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, waterin' your plants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah...

Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence livin' in France...

Background singers: She can't see the-

Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P,

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: There's somethin' in my trousers, you know it ain't ants!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Yeah...

Proletariat, bourgeoisie!

Background singers: Baby you don't need an academic degree!

Street Performer 1: Everybody's smellin' my potpourri!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2: Down, down, on the ground... 'Cause you know I got it goin' on!

Background singers: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singers: (I...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singers: (M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singers: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!  Street Performer 2: If you're losin' your hair get yourself implants!

Background singers: (I..) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: If you're wrestlin' a bear then you ain't got a chance!

Background singers: (M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!

Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2: Ain't about love! Ain't about romance! I got squirrels in my pants!

Continuity

 * One of the street performers can be seen sitting next to Candace on the Mix and Mingle Machine before it starts in a later episode. He and another street performer appear later in the song during the grid of people. He was also in "Let's All Dance 'Til We're Sick" ("Cheer Up Candace", "Nerdy Dancin'")
 * One of the performers can be briefly seen singing Come Home, Perry with the other citizens of Danville. ("Oh, There You Are, Perry")
 * After the other sentences,"S-I-M-P,Squirrels in my pants"is heard by the background singers

Songwriters

 * Michael Culross, Jr.
 * Jeff "Swampy" Marsh
 * Martin Olson
 * Dan Povenmire