Heinz Doofenshmirtz

"When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me!"

- Doofenshmirtz

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, abbreviated as Dr. D and Doof  , is a mad scientist and head of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. He tends not to be evil in the traditional sense, but rather overly dramatic, eccentric and generally clueless. His lair appears to be a standard major corporation, and even has its own jingle. He attempts to wreak havoc across "The entire Tri-State Area." All of his plans tend to be thwarted by Perry the Platypus. Dr. Doofenshmirtz seems to strangely enjoy musical numbers, he sings songs of impressing his professor and how he hates his brother Roger Doofenshmirtz. Online, Doofenshmirtz is known as StrudelCutie4427.

Doofenshmirtz lived a very sad childhood that left him scarred for the rest of his life. His parents were mentally abusive and ignored him, disowned him, and restricted him from doing even the smallest of things; he as well had issues with bullies, his own voice, and broken hearts. Due to these hardships he turned to evil and is will usually attempt to seek vengeance with odd items he purchased off the internet. He has a nemesis in the form of Perry the Platypus, as well as a sarcastic daughter named Vanessa.

Birth and childhood
When Doofenshmirtz was born, neither of his parents "bothered to show up." He celebrated every birthday after that alone, throwing himself surprise parties at places like Gunther Goat Cheeses. When he did have a birthday cake, it was always eaten by Dookleberry Bats. ("Raging Bully")

At one time he was actually disowned by his parents, forcing him to live with ocelots. Needing money, he got a job at a carnival as the ball you throw at the target at the dunk tank. At the same time, for a reason that Heinz did not want to relate, he emanated a smell of pork so strong that no one would come near him. So he drew a face on a balloon and named it "Balloony," spraying it with long-lasting spray. ("The Chronicles of Meap").



Eventually, he returned to his normal family. His father was so poor that his beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. While other children were allowed to play, he was forced to be the family's lawn gnome all day and night without being allowed to move in the slightest for any reason even to eat or sleep. At night his only companions were the moon and his neighbor Kenny. During one night, Balloony flew off, and he could not retrieve him. ("Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror," "The Chronicles of Meap")

In his father's heart, he was replaced by a spitzenhound named Only Son that his father won in a contest of "Poke the Goozim with a Stick". Even though Only Son was an award-winning dog that brought his father fame and fortune, and the family should have been able to buy back the lawn gnome, Heinz was still forced to be the lawn gnome. This appears to be the source of Doofenshmirtz's fragile self-esteem. ("Got Game?")



While his parents awaited their new baby, who they believed to be a girl, they knitted dozens of dresses for their new baby. But their baby was born a boy and was named Roger. Doofenshmirtz was forced to wear the old dresses due to lack of cloth, and on top of that, Roger was now favored by Heinz's mother for being a "goody-two shoes." ("Gaming the System," "Tree to Get Ready")

Roger as well was favored by his mother for his amazing abilities in kickball, a thing in which Heinz was sorely lacking in. Heinz felt even more shunned because of this. Even though she liked Roger better, Heinz was still not completely forgotten, as she took him swimming. Still, however, she wouldn't let him into public pools. ("Thaddeus and Thor," "De Plane! De Plane!")

He has hated his high squeaky voice since his youth. He has been bullied throughout his life by Big, Black Boots Boris the Bully, starting when they were both in Druelselstein. Boris always kicks sand in Doofenshmritz's face, except at the beach, but Doofenshmirtz finds no peace there because he is always expecting Boris to show up. ("Jerk De Soleil," "The Flying Fishmonger")



Growing up, he tried his hand at magic. He got a gig, but hadn't quite perfected his act yet. When he tried to pull Bobo the Rabbit out of his hat, there was a skunk instead. He was quite upset about this and gave up magic until well into his adulthood. ("Leave the Busting to Us!")

Heinz entered in his first science fair with his first -inator (Doofenshirtz wasn't very creative with names yet). He was about to win, but he lost to a baking soda volcano. The next year, he made an Even-Bigger-inator but lost again to a baking soda volcano. ("Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)")

Throughout his youth, he was told he couldn't "make mountains out of molehills" despite his attempts to do so literally. He carried this on to his adulthood. ("At The Car Wash")

Teenage years
When he was around 15, he realized he was unable to grow facial hair and began to think people who have facial hair only do so to make fun of him. Also at this age, he was a big face in the "Shadow Puppet" business, so good that he began dating and had a "Fraulein." But, a new boy in the village with huge hands named Huge Hands Hans showed up and, though his shadow puppets were horrible, took his "Fraulein" away from him. This could be the cause of Heinz's fear of commitment and terror of dating girls, even into his adulthood. ("Out to Launch")

In high school, he filmed himself in a very embarrassing moment: in his underwear and a cape, he skated through a room and into a toilet. Doofenshmirtz did this while saying "I am a superstar!" ("Tip of the Day")

College years
After losing to both the science fairs, he wanted devote his life to poetry instead. And one of his poems was:

The movies are gray The TV is black The horses are running Please bring me some food

Curiously, he lost to a baking soda volcano.("Unfair Science Fair")

In evil school, he was tormented by his Evil 101 teacher, Dr. Gevaarlijk, who flunked him out of evil school. To this day, Doofenshmirtz swears to get her to appreciate him for the evil he truly has. He also did a thesis based on an early ransom note of Dr. Lloyd Wexler. ("Oil on Candace," "A Hard Day's Knight")

Career
Since meeting him while getting his photo taken, Doofenshmirtz's nemesis has been Agent P, or Perry the Platypus. Agent P never attempts to lock Doof up, and after every mission he leaves the doctor in the rubble and runs away. ("It's About Time!")

His evil mentor was Professor Destructicon, also known as Kevin to his friends. Kevin's last request before being locked away was to have his protest set the sun on fire. Doofenshmirtz, in a rare moment of clarity, reasoned that the sun is a big ball of fire, so this wouldn't work. So Kevin asked him to just destroy the island hideout instead. ("One Good Scare Ought to Do It!")

In the summer of one year, Doofenshmirtz attempted to build his own evil nation in the bay of the Tri-State Area out of spite of his brother being elected mayor. The country, however, was on a giant inner tube which was popped and destroyed. ("Hail Doofania!")

Doofenshmirtz went into space in the same summer, and used this time to exact revenge on Huge Hands Hans. He was going to use a space station to create a giant shadow puppet on the moon, thus proving old Hans that he was better. He was thwarted, however, and even almost died by going out into space without a helmet. ("Out to Launch")



Heinz tried again to win a science fair as the middle of the summer came, but ending up falling into a portal to mars. His score with Perry the Platypus also became smaller and smaller, Perry's reaching such a level that on his board his uses to keep track of it, he needed sticky notes to put them all on. His endeavors have as well grown and at one point desired global conquest and not an areal one. ("Unfair Science Fair," "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)," "The Lake Nose Monster")

Recently, Doofenshmirtz took up an internship with The Regurgitator, mostly because he offered maternity leave, but when he accidentally aided Perry in his capture as well as blowing up his lair, he seems to have returned to his normal evil career. ("Oh, There You Are Perry")

Personal life
Around about 1991, Doofenshmirtz married a woman name Charlene. In c. 1992, Charlene bore Doofenshmirtz a daughter, Vanessa. As Vanessa grew up, he always tried to give her a special birthday, but she never liked them. At some point, Doofenshmirtz became divorced from Charlene, and it is possible that they have a joint custody of her. ("Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together!", "Hail Doofania!")

Even after this, he continued to try to throw large and extravagant birthdays for her daughter; they were very childish and "girly" even though she was much older and more mature, which upset her. This vigorous attempts to make her have a perfect birthday party might be linked to his own childhood in which he had no birthdays at all. ("Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together," "Raging Bully")

He eventually went looking for a new home, all of them being within his budget range, he was shown a "hodge-podge" house and a trailer suggesting that he was house shopping during the divorce with Charlene since he would've had no alimony checks from Charlene to help him with his expenses. Finally he found his present home which he immediately fell in love with and purchased it, being within his budget. Not until the first night did he discover why it ws so cheap. He couldn't fall asleep that night due to ship horns and after further investigation, discovered that there was a lighthouse nearby attracting all the ships. ("That Sinking Feeling," "Got Game?")

Either before or after marrying Charlene, Heinz fell in love with a woman named Elizabeth. Elizabeth had a rather unhealthy obsession with whales, and so Heinz, attempting to impress her, built a whale-translator so they could understand the whales. But the whale they were listening to trash-talked about Doofenshmirtz, saying Elizabeth should dump Heinz and go out with him. She did so, and Heinz grew with envy. ("Perry Lays an Egg")

Since his divorce, he has recently started dating again, but hasn't had much luck. He planned on using a giant magnet to erase the tape of one girlfriend's answering machine because he left so many embarrassing, long and rambley messages on it. Also, he had a date that he met online which took place in his mountain hideout. She was more enamored with Perry the Platypus than with him. His next online date went better and the two fell in love, but it fell apart once she was struck by a beam that made her fell no love at all. ("I, Brobot", "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!," "Chez Platypus")

He and the rest of the universe grew to 50 feet during the middle of one summer due to an invention, but no one noticed since everything looked the same. ("Attack of the 50 Foot Sister!")

Credentials

 * c. 70s - Student of Dr. Gevaarlijk, Evil 101 ("Oil on Candace")
 * c. 70s - Fails Evil 101 ("Oil on Candace")
 * Unknown date after c. 70s - Apprentice of Professor Destructicon ("One Good Scare Ought to Do It!")
 * Unknown date after c. 70s - Founds Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ("That Sinking Feeling")
 * 2000s - Becomes the nemesis to Agent P ("It's About Time!")
 * 2000s - Downgraded to a lower threat level by The O.W.C.A. ("Oh, There You Are, Perry")
 * 2000s - Become a intern of The Regurgitator ("Oh, There You Are, Perry")
 * 2000s - Returns to higher threat level ("Oh, There You Are, Perry")

Personality and traits
"Speaking of wishes, you know what I never understood? Genies! They tell you to wish for anything you want and then they add some terrible twist. Like you wish to jump high so he turns you into a frog. Why? Who gains from this? The genie? Where's the benefit? You should be fighting genies, man, not me. I'm not the problem; genies are the problem."

- Doofenshmirtz rambles on to Perry the Platypus

Goofy, eccentric, and overly-dramatic, Doofenshmirtz tends to babble and be rather random. Acting somewhat cliche in classic villain form, he'll commonly burst out in grand maniacal laughs and drawn out, somewhat overdone, monologues. ("The Lake Nose Monster")

Normally, any of his plans will have a large and decisive flaw, though a slight obliviousness causes him to never catch it. For example, in a plan to dig a tunnel to China, he forgets that the Earth's core is filled with lava, thus imperiling himself and Perry the Platypus. Several plans are doomed by the mindless inclusion of a self-destruct button, or an overly-convenient off switch. ("Candace Loses Her Head," "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World," "The Fast and the Phineas")

He also has amazing hand coordination. ("Thaddeus and Thor")



Doofenshmirtz has a peculiar sense of humor. A murderer of words and phrases, he will often mess up sayings or miss-say words. When saying goodbye to Agent P, he once shouted "Dosvedanya!" then immediately claimed that was Spanish for two vedanyas, despite having no idea what a "vedanya" is. "Dosvedanya" actually means "good-bye" in Russian. ("Bowl-R-Ama Drama")

While being goofy and random, Doofenshmirtz still has a dark and sinister side. A mad scientist at heart, his plans are truly evil, and he enjoys watching people suffer. All of his magazines are stolen from his Spanish neighbor, and while expressing concern over Agent P's absence from their daily routine, he still hopes it was because something horrible had happened to him. He hates many things and does not care about the property damage eliminating them will cause, and feels that children screaming is a birthday gift in its own. ("I Scream, You Scream," "It's About Time!," "Hail Doofania!," "Mom's Birthday," "Tree to Get Ready," "Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!‎")



Doofenshmirtz, strangely, is a very big fan of music. A Love Händel enthusiast, Doofenshmirtz has followed their music likely since their nineties start up. He loves them so much that even after failing at a new scheme and being stuck in a fire cracker explosion, he still took the time to "rock out" to Music Makes Us Better. While not actually having the talent to do so, he enjoys singing about his feelings whilst explaining his schemes to Agent P, and was extremely insulted when Peter the Panda tried to destroy his machine while he sang about missing Agent P. ("Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together," "Tree to Get Ready," "Oil on Candace," "It's About Time!")

Underneath all of the goofiness and evil lies the shell of a fragile child. Emotionally scarred by his unhappy childhood, mentally abused by his father, and shunned by his mother, he has never hit a break, striking out at every girlfriend he's had (except for his ex-wife) and failing at his plans for regional dominance. Through all the strife, Doofenshmirtz's persistence and lighter attitude keeps him going, though he does occasionally express awareness of his life's redundancy. ("Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror," "Got Game?," "Tree to Get Ready," "Out to Launch," "Journey to the Center of Candace")

Appearance
"I'm not very...how do the kids say it these days...handsome."

- Doofenshmirtz to Perry

Doofenshmirtz is self-described as ugly. He has an extremely pointy crooked nose, and a very oddly shaped pointed chin. His teeth are usually horse-shaped, but they sometimes shift to pointed, all canine teeth. ("The Best Lazy Day Ever," "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror")

Doofenshmirtz is 6 feet, 2 inches tall and very slender, though as a youth he was considerably short for his age. His legs are usually bent when he stands and walks, and he has a noticeable hunchback. His chin is a roundish-point. ("Chez Platypus", "Leave the Busting to Us!")

Heinz's usual apparel is a sleeveless black shirt, under a long, thin white lab cloak. With that he wears long gray slacks, and black shoes, and more recently, his shoes seem to have a small heel. ("Out of Toon")

He has a tattoo of the word evil in purple ink with a pointed tail coming from the L on his left bicep. ("Chez Platypus")

When hit with the beam for his 'Ugly-inator', a device with makes anything the beam hits horribly ugly, he remains the same. ("The Best Lazy Day Ever")

Perry the Platypus
His nemesis is Perry the Platypus and it is often cited that the two enjoy loathing each other and have for years. Despite this, Doofenshmirtz is unable to recognize him unless Agent P is wearing his secret agent hat. ("It's About Time!," "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror")

In the words of Doofenshmirtz himself to Perry, their encounters are typically in the following format:
 * "I have a scheme."
 * "You try to stop me."
 * "I trap you."
 * "I tell you my scheme."
 * "You escape."
 * "We fight."
 * "I'm defeated."

Doofenshmirtz will then shout "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Because Perry enjoys foiling Doofenshmirtz's plans, he doesn't usually turn him in to any sort of authorities. There have been some rare occasions where Perry has not allowed the scheme to be carried out. This is usually because Doofenshmirtz's plan puts the Flynn-Fletcher family directly in danger. ("Journey to the Center of Candace," et al.)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz has used crocodiles as a means of containing Perry, but his standard method is to use a cage. ("The Ballad of Badbeard," "Crack That Whip," et al.)



At one point, Doofenshmirtz meets Peter the Panda and makes him his new nemesis. He claimed that it was just a spur of the moment whim, but Perry is still upset. As Perry left Doofenshmirtz a background song revealed that Doofenshmirtz is Perry's only nemesis and Perry's heart and life is empty without battling Heinz. After going on a show called Dr. Feelbetter, his evil plan is revealed. It was all a ploy to get all of the operatives in Perry's agency in one place so he could trap them all and turn them all into statues with his evil Freezeinator Ray for his giant chessboard. After all is said and done, Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are enemies again. ("It's About Time!")

Major Monogram
It appears that Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram actually know each other fairly well with Doofenshmirtz knowing both his home phone and cell number. ("Journey to the Center of Candace," "Don't Even Blink," "Hide and Seek")

Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram have spoken to each other over Perry's video phone for a few brief seconds but it appears that this is not the first time the two have met. ("Journey to the Center of Candace")

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz
Being Doofenshmirtz's daughter, the Doctor cares for her very much. As Vanessa grew up, Doofenshmirtz always tried to throw her great birthdays. But Vanessa's goth personality led to her never enjoying Doof's "little girl" parties. ("Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together")

Roger Doofenshmirtz
Doofenshmirtz despises his younger brother, starting when he was a child. It was his fault Heinz was forced to wear a dress all through childhood, and Roger was favored by their mother. Heinz's hatred and jealousy has caused him to both attempt to ruin his brother's ceremony and try to out due him by building a new country. ("Tree to Get Ready," "Gaming the System," "Hail Doofania!")

Parents
From Heinz's many stories, it's exceedingly obvious that his parents care very little for their son. From making him stand still day and night as a lawn gnome, to naming the family pet 'Only Son', and even disowning him for a short while, forcing him to live with ocelots. ("Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror," "Got Game?," "The Chronicles of Meap")

Charlene Doofenshmirtz
Being Doofenshmirtz ex-wife, it appears that he actually hates her, as he refers to her as his ex-wife," crumbling up her picture while singing the Doofanian national anthem. Maybe that was the reason they got divorced. ("Hail Doofania!")

Though in Oh, There You Are, Perry when a maternity benefit is offered with the intern job he considers it, possibly thinking he can get it for Charlene.

Other romances
Either before or after marrying Charlene (likely before), Heinz fell in love with a woman named Elizabeth. Elizabeth was obsessed with whales, and so he built an whale translator to impress her, but a whale convinced her to leave him. ("Perry Lays an Egg")

Doofenshmirtz began dating after his divorce. The exact number of relationships he has have after his divorce is currently unknown, although he has been shown dating 3 women and he himself mentioned that he has had another relationship. His first known one wouldn't pick up the phone. He had a date with the second one at his Woodland House during his week off, which also shown his internet name as "StrudelCutie4427" and on the same day, he mentioned the there was one bad date that kept stabbing him with a fork. ("I, Brobot," "Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face")

His last date was at "Chez Platypus" and went very well. It turned out that both him and his date was evil, but neither knew so about the other because it was not posted on to there dating profiles due to the odd people it seemed to attract. They fell in love and had a lovely montage of evil love, but a previous plan of Doofenshmirts, to get rid of all the gooey love stuff in the whole tri-state area unless his date went well, back fired even after he chose not to do it. He gladly handed the remote to the deloveintator to Perry exclaiming that he did not need it any more and that he was in love. Though when Perry smashed the control to the deloveintator ray it caused the laser satellite in space to crash land right next to his new found love and zapped her there for making her not able to love. She left Doofenshmirtz stranded on a dock, her last words to him " I felt nothing" ("Chez Platypus")

Mentors and Idols
Doofenshmirtz's evil mentor was Professor Destructicon. It is unknown when he became his ward, but in c. 2008, Destructicon was arrested. His last request to him was to fulfil his dream of setting fire to the sun. Heinz, however, pointed out that you can't do so, so Kevin settled on destroying his lair. Doofenshmirtz honored his request, but failed. ("One Good Scare Ought to Do It!")

All through out his evil life, he has idolized Dr. Lloyd Wexler. Having memorized his evil memoir and even doing a thesis based on Wexler's early ransom notes, Heinz still does not know him enough to tell him apart from Perry the Platypus disguised as him. ("A Hard Day's Knight")

In Evil School, his professor, Dr. Gevaarlijk, hated him openly, even as Doofenshmirtz tried to be the best in the class. Gevaarlijk flunked him, though, and into his adulthood, he wrote letters to her about how his life as an Evil Scientist is doing. When Gevaarlijk finally came to his apartment to see his plans, she was deeply upset with him, and pointed out his flaws. Leaving, Doofenshmirtz was comforted by Perry the Platypus. ("Oil on Candace")

Doofenshmirtz as well is a huge fan of the 90s hair band Love Händel. Since he "knew people," he somehow got them to play for him while singing about his mother's ignorance of him for his lack of kickball skills. When they performed in the Flynn-Fletcher's backyard, he danced to their song Music Makes Us Better. ("Thaddeus and Thor," "Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together!")

Schemes and Inventions


Doofenshmirtz is so bent on taking over the Tri-State Area, he concocts a scheme nearly every day. It is unknown how long the evil doctor has been trying this, but it may have only been since after his divorce, since Charlene doesn't know what he is up to. ("Rollercoaster," "I Scream, You Scream," "Hail Doofania!")

Doofenshmirtz will usually purchase odd objects from the internet so he can construct his evil inventions. The price of all items never matters to him, due to the immense amount of alimony he gets from Charlene ("It's About Time!", "Got Game?"). Each scheme or invention he comes up with is rarely successful, due to poor planning skills or a fundamental design flaw.

Background Information

 * In the original story pitch, the evil doctor's name is Meddleshmirtz, which Dan Povenmire pronounces "Middleshmirtz."
 * Dr. Doofenshmirtz can speak Spanish with great knowledge, as well as Whale. ("Bowl-R-Ama Drama", "Oh, There you are, Perry!" and "Perry Lays an Egg")
 * Dr. Doofenshmirtz's catch phrase, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!", is possibly a reference to the line of Zurg in Toy Story 2 and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, "Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!"
 * He wears a "grind guard" at night to keep him from grinding his teeth ("Traffic Cam Caper").
 * Despite being weak, Doofenshmirtz is very durable, as shown each time surviving certain doom (usually explosions). Also oddly in Raging Bully he was able to throw a normal cardboard party hat in to a steel pole and it made a hole and got stuck there.
 * Only two times has Doofenshmirtz escaped perfectly: In "One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" (the plan had failed however), and in "Hail Doofania!," was shown in the flashback where Perry the Platypus falls down in a sandpaper factory, allowing him to escape. Also in the episode "Leave the Busting to Us!", he shows a chart that tells how many successful attacks he had made to Perry and vice versa.
 * Like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, he seems to have a great deal of wealth, is physically weak, and had a difficult childhood.
 * He receives a large alimony check every month.
 * He wore braces as a teenager ("Out to Launch", "The Flying Fishmonger", and "At the Car Wash"). Perhaps to solve the grinding of his teeth.
 * He often mangles common phrases, such as "Dos vedanya! That's two 'vedanyas'." or "As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!". Which means that he has a "peculiar humor sense" as seen in "Spot the Diff" when he said"I changed it from cowabunga to cowaburger" (before changing "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror")
 * In "Swiss Family Phineas" one of his shoes is lost, and in the next episode ("Hide and Seek"), his shoes that he is wearing are slightly different with a small heel instead of being flat like his others, suggesting he had to purchase another pair to make up for the loss.
 * The reason he never got a doctorate, as revealed in "Oil on Candace", is because his teacher failed him out of Evil 101, his major.
 * In Raging Bully, Dr. Doofenshmirtz states that none of his parents showed up at his birth. However, in Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror, he states that his family was a proud family. (How he could he have been born if his parents were not present is unknown.)
 * Heinz may not be able to swim, as evidenced by the water wings that appeared when he removed his lab coat in "Are You My Mummy?", and gets seasick ("Toy to the World").
 * Heinz has an "Evil" tattoo on his left arm. ("Chez Platypus")
 * Heinz is more of a buffon and a clueless adult, much like Zapp Brannigan from Futurama
 * In Comet Kermillian his password to his computer is "Doofalicious".
 * He plays chess ("It's About Time!") and lied (though it was believable) about having a travelers' chess board in his bag in "Journey to the Center of Candace".
 * He uses a retainer. ("At the Car Wash")
 * He holds the cup stacking world record. (but it is later broken by Candace) ("Thaddeus and Thor)
 * He holds/uses his mouse in his left hand, showing that he is most likely left handed. ("Oh, There You Are Perry")
 * He was the "geek" of his class and marginated because he liked magic ("Leave the Busting to Us!") like "Luismi" the character of the spanish series "Compañeros" (1996-2001)
 * He may have to use reading glasses as seen in "Vanessassary Roughness".