Bowl-R-Ama Drama/Transcript

(Scene opens up showing a diagonal view of the Flynn-Fletcher house.)

Candace: (On her cell phone, in her room) Oh, my gosh, Stacy! Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh! Jeremy asked me if I could meet him at the fair later today next to the Ferris wheel. Oh no! I almost forgot I'm scared of heights! What am I going to do?

Linda: (Calling from downstairs) Candace, we're leaving now!

Candace: Mom, I'm having a teenage crisis!

Linda: Don't forget we're going bowling. We need you to keep an eye on the boys.

Lawrence: Preferably two.

Phineas: Bowling? That sounds fun. Hey, Dad, is it alright if we use that old lawn-bowling set?

Lawrence: Sure thing, boys. Knock yourselves out.

Linda: Toodles.

Phineas: You know, Ferb, with a few modifications, we could really zip up this old lawn-bowling set.

Baljeet: Hello, Phineas. Whatcha doin'? Ooh! I just sounded like Isabella.

Phineas: We're gonna build the world's biggest and best bowling-ball game!

Baljeet: Well, according to The Most Pointless Book of World Records... ( Fanfare) ...The world's largest bowling ball is four feet in diameter.

Phineas: Four feet? Ferb, we can beat that record in our sleep.

Baljeet: You know. the officials from The Most Pointless Book of World Records... ( Fanfare) ...Will be at the fair today at 3:00, handing out awards.

Phineas: Ferb, get the tools. We've got a record to shatter.

Baljeet: And then you will be in the next volume! ( Fanfare) (At Buford) Is that absolutely necessary?

Buford: Why? Does it bug ya?

Baljeet: Well, yes, a little.

Buford: Then, yeah, it's necessary.

Baljeet: All right. Fair enough. Hey, where is Perry?

( Fanfare)

Perry the Platypus!

(Perry falls out of tube with a missing part Carl was fixing)

Carl: Ooh, sorry about that, Agent P.

Herman the Hedgehog!

Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. We've tracked Doofenshmirtz to an old abandoned warehouse, and he's made some suspicious purchases; 10,000 packets of powdered hot chocolate, a hotdog vendor's cart, a medium-sized parka and a pair of red flannel long johns with a flap in the back. Don't ask us how we know. Get out there and kick some Doofen-butt!

(Montage of Phineas and Ferb building a gigantic bowling ball)

( "Morning Mood" by Edvard Grieg while Phineas and Ferb are shown sleeping)

Baljeet: Wow! That is one big bowling ball.

Phineas: Hey, look at that, Ferb. Told you we could do it in our sleep.

Candace: So, what do you think I should wear to the fair tonight? I'm thinking my favorite red blouse with my white skirt and red matching socks.

(Bowling pins crashing) Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back.

(Cheering)

Phineas: That was amazing!

Isabella: Wow, Phineas! Another strike!

Phineas: That makes four in a row. In your face, Buford!

Baljeet: (Laughs) Yes! What he said! In the face! (Laughs) Uh-uh, I mean... You will get him next time. Clearly.

Phineas: Ferb, did you get that strike?

(Ferb gives a thumb up then pushes the "Reset" button)

Phineas: Who's next?

Candace: Phineas, just what do you think you're doing out here?

Phineas: Candace, you're just in time. It's your turn.

Candace: Just wait until Mom hears about... But then again, you guys always seem to make everything disappear before Mom gets home. But if I take the evidence to her at the Bowl-A-Rama, then she'll have to believe me!

(Candace daydreams)

Linda: Oh, Candace, you were right about Phineas and Ferb this whole time. We should've believed you.

Lawrence: And just to express how sorry we are, here's my credit card. You have our permission to ruin us financially.

Jeremy: Candace, that is so cool how you busted your brothers like that! Will you marry me?

(Daydream ends)

Phineas: So, you wanna give it a try?

Candace: I do, Jeremy! I mean, uh... I'd love to give it a try.

Phineas: All right, I'll show you how it works. ''(Candace and Phineas inside of it) ''Well, first of all, the cockpit's on a gyroscope so it stays level. Here's your monitor, and this is the trackball you use to steer. Now, no matter what, never hit the gyro stabilizer lock button. It'll disable the gyroscope, and you'll spin around like a greased pig on roller-skates.

Candace: Yeah, yeah. Use the trackball. Don't hit the button. I got it.

Phineas: All right. You seem to know what you're doing.

Candace: Do I ever! This is a piece of cake. Bowl-R-Ama, here I come!

Phineas: Okay, Candace, try to take it slow at first.

Candace: (Giggling)

Phineas: Way to go, Candace! Where's she going? She's freestylin'! We've gotta follow her and see what she does! Let's go, team!

Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Self Storage!

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. Right on time. It seems like you've got quite a chill there. I want you to meet my latest creation: The Giant Robotic Penguin Icy Freeze Your Socks Off Breath-Inator... Thingy. First, I will unleash my giant penguins at the fair today so they may begin freezing the entire city! Then I will sell all the citizens of Danville my organic, yet highly addictive Doof brand hot chocolate. Because, you know, who doesn't enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate when it's so cold out? The first cup will be free, of course, but then the second... will also be free, but then the third will cost a million dollars! That way, I only have to sell three, and I will already be a millionaire. So, Perry the Platypus, as they say in Mexico: Dos svidaniya! Down there, that's two "Svidaniyas."

Phineas: She's headed for the Bowl-A-Rama.

Candace: (Giggling)

Linda: You know, dear, Candace hasn't called.

Lawrence: Oh, don't worry. I'm sure the kids are having a ball.

Phineas: Ooh! That's gotta hurt.

Candace: Oh no!

Phineas: So where does this lead?

Construction Worker: Huh. Heck if I know.

Phineas: Ferb, the map of Danville's underground. (Ferb pulls out aforesaid map) Looks like she's headed downtown.

Candace: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! (Sighs) Oh, good. It stopped. (Eyes widen) Wait! (Notices a train coming via monitor) Go, go, go, go, go!

Barry: That's one big bowling ball, Bob.

Bob: You betcha, Barry.

Phineas: Here she comes.

Buford/Baljeet: Go, Candace!

Buford: There she goes.

Phineas: All right, guys. To Seventh Street.

Baljeet: Go, Candace!

Isabella: Go! Go!

(Dinging)

Phineas: Hey, Baljeet, what's the world record for the largest pinball machine?

Baljeet: I am not sure, but I know we can beat it.

Phineas: Okay, everybody, split up, and let's keep her in play until we get to the fair.

(Song: Pin-bowlin')

Pin, pin, pin, Pin-bowlin' along

Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Yeah!

Pin, pin, pin, pin-bowlin' along

Candace: (Screaming)

Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

Put your quarter in and take me for a spin

But you gotta pull the lever back before we begin

We'll take the trip for two around the table

Before we drop...

Candace: I'm out of control!

Keep your fingers on the flippers and your eye on the ball

We'll be bouncing off the bumpers

And bangin' off the walls

Gonna run the score up so high

You'd think your ears are gonna pop

And we ain't never gonna tilt

'Cause, baby, that's not the way we will

Phineas: Woo-hoo!

We're gonna pin, pin, pin, Pin-bowlin' along

Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Pin, pin, pin, Pin-bowlin' along

Candace: (Screaming)

Pin-bowlin' along (X2)

Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Pin-bowlin'

Yeah!

Phineas: Way to keep it goin', Ferb.

Man: Oop, better luck next time, little man. (At Isabella) Isabella, darlin'!

Isabella: Set me up, Shady Joe. I'm feelin' lucky.

Shady Joe: Oh, that's my girl. You give it your best shot.

(Bowling ball rolling)

(Sound of pins crashing into the stand)

Shady Joe: Help yourself to anything from the top shelf.

(Last few items drop)

Announcer: Welcome, Danvillians, to the World's Most Pointless Records Awards. Let's meet some of our record holders. Here we have Cletus with the world's hairiest pig. Next to him is Margaret with the world's stinkiest cheese. And finally, we got little Timmy holding the world's fattest gerbil. Let's have a big round of applause for the most pointless world-record winners!

(Applause)

Phineas: Wait! We've got 2 more world's most pointless records for our own!

Announcer: Well, then, step right up, sonny, and tell everybody what they are.

Phineas: Our first entry is for the world's largest bowling ball, and the other is for the world's largest game of pinball.

Announcer: Wow! Well, let's see 'em.

Ferb: Wait for it...

(Dinging)

Announcer: Looks like we have two more world's most pointless records! (Gasps) Wait! 2 records in one day? That's another world record!

Doofenshmirtz: To the fair, my pets, where the freezing of the Tri-State Area will begin! (Later notices the bowling ball) Wait. Wait, what is that? A giant bowling ball? (Screams)

Candace: (Screams; Eventually lands next to Jeremy on the Ferris wheel)

Jeremy: Oh, Candace, you made it. I was thinking you weren't gonna show. Although, you know, usually we get on at the bottom.

Candace: (Giggles)

Phineas: (On microphone) We'd especially like to thank our sister Candace. We couldn't have done it without you, sis!

Jeremy: You know, your brothers are all right. Hey, are you okay? (Candace points to the ground) Oh, afraid of heights. Don't worry, I got ya.

Phineas: How about you, Perry? Is there anything you'd like to add?

(Perry chatters)

Credits roll

Shady Joe: Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, step right up! It's only a dollar to see the mysterious penguin-man. Is he man? Is he penguin? Or perhaps some logic-defying amalgam of man and penguin? A manguin, if you will.

Doofenshmirtz: I used to have goals. They were evil goals, but they were goals.