Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror/Transcript

Ducky Momo Turns Evil
Candace: (on phone) No, Stacy, I have the whole place to myself. Mom and Dad are at the movies, and the boys are playing ping pong over at Buford's. Oh, so listen to this weird book I've been readin'. "If one repeats this incantation in the presence of a doll, then alive it shall be!" Ha ha! But check this out: "The light of a full moon will make it evil." Oh, (picks up Ducky Momo doll) I'm so totally doing it! Oh, relax, Stacy, it's funny! (says something in gibberish) I will you alive, Ducky Momo! (in an evil voice) "Candace, this is Ducky Momo! You must buy more of my memorabilia, like my 50th anniversary collector's item bobblehead!" (normal voice) But, y'know, I'm really concerned about its resale value. (puts the doll on her face) Aaah! Help! Help! Ha ha ha! Sorry, okay, just havin' a little fun! (leaves her windowsill) So, what's up? Y'know I just use this new exfoliating and moisturizing scrub in the bath, which is totally confusing because why exfoliate off all the cells if you just moisturized?...Weird. (hears something move) Hold on, Stacy. I thought I heard a sound coming from under the bed. (reaches under her bed and a black cat screeches and scurries from under it) Cheese and crackers! Hey, we don't even have a cat. (reaches back under the bed and gets her Ducky Momo doll) How did you get under there? (picks back up the phone) Oh, it's nothing. Ducky Momo must've fallen under my bed. (to the doll) Now stay put. (lightning flash as the doll moves) Okay, so let me tell you about my day with Jeremy. So he picks me up and the same song I've been playing in my room was the same song he was playing in his car! (The doll crawls onto the bed behind her.) The same song! I mean, what are the chances of that? (Candace drops the towel onto the doll.) And then he says, "You wanna get grilled cheeses at that place?" And I was just thinkin' I wanted grilled cheese so he gets one!

(Candace kicks the doll out the window and it lands in the yard. It rises up from under the towel like Frankenstein's monster. A raccoon approaches it and it growls at the raccoon, which scurries away. The doll then looks at the house and attempts to waddle up to it, but gets crushed by a fallen tree branch.)

Invasion of the Evil Platypus Clones
Phineas: Well, let's see what's in this weird book. "Make a Doll Come Alive," "How to Get Three Wishes," "Giant Floating Rest of Baby"...Hey, check it out! It says here you have to be careful not to spill grape juice on a platypus, or it will make an evil platypus clone. I'm not really sure why anyone would—

(Cut to Buford pouring some grape juice onto Perry.)

Buford: Keep readin'.

Phineas: Buford, stop! Aw, poor little guy. (dries Perry off with a towel and bundles him like a baby) Buford, you shouldn't pour anything on a platypus!

Buford: (offscreen) I just wanted to see what would happen.

(Perry chatters.)

Phineas: (unbundling Perry) Well, he's dry, but now he's purple. (The purple stain jumps off of Perry and creates a purple platypus.) Whoa!

Buford: Cool! It actually worked! (sticking a finger out) Who's my little platypus clone? (The clone snarls at Buford.) What was that all about?

Baljeet: What part of "evil clone" are you not getting?

Buford: Obviously, the "evil" part.

(The evil platypus clone gets hairy and snarls and runs out of the tent.)

Isabella: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit! It's the only way to be sure.

Buford: Cheese and crackers!

(Cut to outside the tent. Phineas unzips it and the gang walk out with Perry.)

Baljeet: Oh no! Look! They are using our grape juice box to make more!

(The evil platypus clones all snarl at the gang.)