Disney's Phineas and Ferb: The Best LIVE Tour Ever!/Transcript

Act I
(Curtain opens, then scene opens up with Phineas and Ferb sitting under the tree in their backyard.)

Phineas: You know, Ferb, I cannot believe that this is our last day of summer vacation. Where did those 104 days go?

(Ferb clicks pen open)

Phineas: Oh, right. The rollercoaster, Mount Rushmore, blab, blab, blah. Okay, we've done a lot of stuff, but it's too bad that the sun can't shine in the sky forever. We've gotta think of way to make this the best day ever. Don't you think? (Looks at Ferb, who is staring at the audience) Ferb? Ferb?

Ferb: Have you ever noticed that audience there before?

(Pauses)

Phineas: No.

(Phineas and Ferb runs towards to the audience)

Phineas: There it is! An audience in a stage! Ferb, how do we get down there?

(Phineas and Ferb jumps, smack, then realizes that there is a barrier)

Phineas: Hm. Seems to be some kind of barrier. Okay, let's try this. We're gonna need two hydroic lifters, a small quantum fuel generator...

(Ferb points to Phineas, then Phineas turns with Ferb, revealing a slide right next to them while part of the slide slides onto the stage)

Phineas: Or that giant slide might work. I wonder why we never saw that before.

(Ferb shrugs)

Phineas: Come on!

(Phineas and Ferb runs to the slide, climbs up the ladder, then slide down the slide revealing the reality versions of Phineas and Ferb on the stage)

Phineas: Wow. Seems like the entire Tri-State Area is here. Wait a minute. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna put on the coolest live show ever for this audience.

(Song: We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: ''Are you guys ready to rock? (The audience expected to answer "Yes") Make some noise! (The audience expected to make noise)''

Ferb, I think I know what we are gonna do,

We got this stage, we got these lights, we got this audience too

With a little inspiration, we be ready to go

Well, inspiration and these dancers

Dancers: Yeah! (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Spotlight, footlights, music, choreography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: It's all live, there's no cinematography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Costumes, sets, theatrical machinery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Stagehands backstage moving all the scenery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

(Wait)

Deep Voice Singer: Put on a show

Phineas: It's the last day of summer, don't know where the time flew,

But if you share it with us, we're gonna share it with you

If you've nowhere to go

For like an hour or so, sit back and relax

Dancers: We're Gonna Put On A Show!

Phineas: Spotlight, footlights, music, choreography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: It's all live, there's no cinematography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Costumes, sets, theatrical machinery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Stagehands backstage moving all the scenery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

(The title sequence drops down)

Phineas: Not bad, man.

(The title sequence rises up, then stops at the top)

Diva #1: We take the top!

Diva #2: And you're never gonna stop!

Diva #1: We jump on the beat!

Diva #2: To make this show steep!

Diva #1: Diva 1!

Diva #2: Diva 2!

Both Divas: We're here for all of you. Have your fingers in the air and we'll be right there.

Phineas: We're Gonna Put On A Show! (X2)

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Spotlight, footlights, music, choreography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: It's all live, there's no cinematography

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Costumes, sets, theatrical machinery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas: Stagehands backstage moving all the scenery

Dancers: (We're Gonna Put On A Show!)

Phineas & Dancers: We're Gonna Put On A Show!

(Song ends, then holds for applause)

Phineas: That was a-mazing. And those random dancers really enhanced our production value.

(The random dancers leave and return backstage)

Phineas: But you know, if we're going to put on the coolest live show ever, we might need some more help.

(Isabella and 3 Fireside Girls wander onto the screen)

Isabella: Hi Ferb. (Dreamy look and voice) Hi Phineas. Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: Oh hi Isabella, puttin' on a show. Wanna help?

Isabella: You betcha'. Come on girls.

(Isabella and the 3 Fireside Girls crashes into the screen like Phineas and Ferb did earlier)

Phineas: Whoa, whoa! Hold up! That won't work! Try the slide.

Isabella: Oh, that's much more convenient.

(Isabella and the 3 Fireside Girls go up the ladder and down the slide revealing reality versions)

Isabella: Wow, you have a real audience and everything! What do you want us to do?

Phineas: Umm, I know! You can be our band!

(Instruments conveniently come out of nowhere)

Milly: Look everybody! Instruments!

Phineas: How serendipitous.

(Isabella plays a rocking tune on the electric guitar)

Phineas: Okay! Let's rock!

(Gretchen taps the drum sticks 3 times. Everyone starts playing the music of Follow the Sun)

Phineas: Nice!

(Everyone keeps playing and eventually, Baljeet and Buford wanders onto the screen)

Baljeet: Phineas? Ferb? Hello? I hear music.

Phineas: We're doing a live show!

Buford: Oh! I love musicals!

Baljeet: YOU like musicals?

Buford: You don't know everything about me!

Baljeet: Alright! Here we go!

(Baljeet is about to bump into the screen but is stopped and grabbed by Buford)

Buford: No! Don't run through the screen! You'll embarrass us both! There's a slide right over there!

Baljeet: Oh yes. It seems obvious in retrospect.

(Buford drops Baljeet and they climb up the slide ladder, but Baljeet stops)

Baljeet: This slide is a very steep incline. I do not know.

Buford: Various choices.

(Buford kicks Baljeet down the slide causing Bajeet scream going down, revealing him in reality. As Buford goes down, he gets stuck. Phineas and Ferb help him get unstuck, revealing him in reality too.)

Buford: Hey, who built this thing?

(Isabella and the Fireside Girls finish playing and the audience cheers.)

Buford: Alright, let's do this thing! What is this? '(?)' or 'Jazz Hands in a great (?)'.

Phineas: Actually, we were thinking something like this.

(Song: Phineas and Ferb Theme)

Phineas: There's 104 of summer vacation 'till school comes a long just to end it

So the annual problem for our generation

Is finding a good way to spend it

Like maybe!

Building a rocket or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower!

Discovering something that doesn't exist

All: Hey! Hey! Hey!

Phineas: Or giving a monkey a shower!

Others: Surfing tidal waves!

Creating nanobots

Or locating Frankenstein's brain!

(A green brain is tossed to Phineas and he catches it)

Phineas: It's over here!

All: Finding a Dodo bird

Painting a continent

Or driving your sister insane!

(Phineas tosses the brain away)

Phineas: As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before school starts next fall!

All: So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna, do it, all! (X2)

Phineas: Yeah!

(Song ends, then holds for applause)

(Candace suddenly walks on the screen talking on her cellphone)

Candace: I don't know, Stacy. I think records were ginat glass CDs you scratch with a needle. So, i need them together for Jeremy's coming over.

(Candace turns to the screen and sees Phineas, Ferb, and the others on the stage)

Candace: Oh, hey, guys. so, I kindly just--

(Candace looks in horror to see Phineas, Ferb, and the others on stage)

Call you back, Stace!

(Candace runs to the screen, then slams into it)

Phineas? Ferb? How did you get down there and where is there?

Phineas: To answer your first question we use that slide over there. As for the second, we're not sure, but it's cool.

Candace: How long has this been there? Wait right there, I'm coming down.

(Candace slides down the slide, revealing herself in reality)

Candace: Alright, what are you two up to?

Phineas: Well... we're gonna put on a show to all these live people in the audience.

Candace: Audience? They rode chariots and they did NOT GET CAUGHT!!!

(Song: Busted)

Candace: I can see the things you're doing

And you think that I'm naive

But when I get the goods on you

She'll finally believe

Well, she says it's all just drama

But every bubble's got to pop

She's gonna see just what you're doing

And then you're finally gonna have to stop

Don't think you're gonna win this time

Cause you better believe I'm gonna drop a dime on you

I’ll get you, I'll get you

And when I do, you're gonna be Busted! (Busted!)

I don’t wanna put the hurt on you

But you better believe you when I tell you

That I finally got the dirt on you

You’re Busted! (Busted!)

Yes, she's finally gonna see the light

This is how it's gonna be

When she finds out that I was always right

You're Busted!

There's a new cop on the beat

And I'm bringing down the heat

My eyes are wise to all your lies

Cause you're not that discreet

And I don't care what you heard

Cause there's one 6-letter word

It’s gonna set me free (Gonna set me free)

Starts with a B (Starts with a B)

Goes B-U-S-T-E-D

You are busted! (Busted!)

I don't wanna put the hurt on you

But you better believe you when I tell you

That I finally got the dirt on you

You're Busted! (Busted!)

Yes, she's finally gonna see the light

This is how it's gonna be

When she finds out that I was always right

You’re Busted!

(Song ends, then holds for applause)

Candace: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are putting on a live stage show!

(Jeremy strides onto the screen, stopping to talk to Candace. Romantic music starts playing)

Jeremy: Candace?

Candace: Hey Jeremy, where you going?

Jeremy: Wow, I don't know what you guys are doing out there, but whatever it is, I'm in!

(Jeremy climbs up the slide ladder, going down revealing a reality version)

Phineas: Hi Jeremy! We're puttin' on a show! Wanna join us?

Jeremy: Sure, sounds like fun! Don't you think?

(Candace bumps Phineas out of the way to talk to Jeremy)

Candace: Well of course I do! Hey, we're all in this together. You know me.... team player.

Linda: (In background) Candace? What did you say the boys are doing?

Candace: Uh, nothing! Everything's good here! Just spending some quality time with my brothers.

Linda: (In background) Aww, that's so sweet.

Busted!

Candace: Alright Phineas, now that we're all here, "Working as a team"...

Phineas: Wait! We're not all here! Where's Perry?

(Stage goes dark and Perry walks onto screen, puts on his fedora and chatters. He knocks on the tree and goes inside it)

(Song: Perry the Platypus)

Backing scat: Dooby, dooby doo-bah (X4)

(People from backstage come out with lights and Perry comes out from the right side of the stage going around the audience, saluting as the song plays with the people shining lights on him)

Female Singers: Perry!

Male Singer: He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action!

Backing scat: Dooby, dooby doo-bah) (X2)

Male Singer: He's a furry little flatfoot, who'll never flinch from a fray-ay-ay!

He's got more than just mad skill,

Female Singer: (Wah-ah-ah)

Male Singer: He's got a beaver tail and a bill

Female Singer: (Ah-ah)

Male Singer: And the women swoon, whenever they hear him say...

(Perry chatters and women faint)

Male Singer: He's Perry!

Major Monogram: You can call him Agent P.

Male Singer: Perry the Platypus!

Major Monogram: I said you could call him Agent P!

Male Singer: Perry! Perry the Platypus!

Agent P!

(Perry does a back-flip and holds out his fists as the song ends and holds for applause)

(Song: Everything's Better with Perry)

(Phineas and Ferb comes from backstage and Perry and the people with lights go away)

Phineas: You know, Ferb, Perry really is something special.

Ferb: He's the finest semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal on the Earth.

Phineas: We consider everyday a plus

To spend it with a platypus

We're always so ecstatic

'Cause he's semi-aquatic

Ferb: Our Ornithorhynchus anatinus

Brings smiles to the both of us

Life's never fuddie duddy

With our web-footed buddy

(Phineas and Ferb go back to back and go backstage when Perry is running through a alley, jumps over a trash can, punches some trash can lids out of the way and beats up 2 ninjas, and salutes to the audience)

Women: Perry!

(Perry runs backstage as Phineas and Ferb return with Baljeet, Buford and Jeremy and holding microphones)

All: When we're brushing our teeth

Baljeet: It's better

All: Tying our shoes

Baljeet: It's better

All: Combing our hair

Baljeet: It's better

Phineas: Like we're a cheese sandwich and he's the cheddar

All: Blinking our eyes

Baljeet: It's better

All: Breathing in and out

Baljeet: It's better

All: Sitting in a chair

Baljeet: It's better

Ferb: And taking a bath, just a little bit wetter

(All of them run backstage as Perry comes back out, in front of a building, kicks the ninjas out of the way, climbs up the ladder of a small structure making it look like he's climbing the building. Once he gets to the top, he grabs onto a hanging rope and swings down to the bottom and kicks the ninjas again, wounding them. Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Buford and Jeremy return again with the microphones again)

All: Everyday is such a dream

When you start it with a monotreme

He's duck-billed and he's beaver tailed and hairy

Buford: You know that he's hairy!

Phineas: Everything's Better with Perry

Others: (Everything's Better with Perry)

(Perry returns into the background, then runs through a construction site)

Ferb: Everything's Better with Perry

Others: (Everything's Better with Perry)

(Perry starts swinging on the bars as if he's climbing a construction bar)

Phineas: Everything's better and we just want to tell you Perry...

All: Everything's better with you!

(Perry drops off bar and one more ninja comes and picks him up)

Phineas: I wonder what Perry is doing right now. Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much.

Phineas and Ferb: Everything's better with you!

(Phineas and Ferb leave and Perry flips out of the ninja's arms and kicks him causing the ninja to run off. Perry runs towards the left of the stage, jumps on a small trampoline, doing a flip onto a pad and chatters as the song ends and holds for applause)

(Secret agent music goes on and Perry starts searching and does a cartwheel, followed by 2 back-flips and his lair chair comes out of nowhere and he sits on it. An animated screen with Major Monogram pops up)

Major Monogram: Good morning Agent P. We learned from one of our secret operatives, actually it was that kid in row three there, that Dr. Doofenshmirtz might be building some sort of Audience Control-Inator. We're not sure but we think it might have something to do with controlling that audience. The implications could be catastrophic or they might be relatively harmless, but we can't take any chances. So get out there, find him and stop him. Uhh, hold on Agent P, something looks, different about you. Have you put on some weight or maybe volume?

(Perry looks towards the audience and shrugs)

Major Monogram: Hmm, maybe it's just me. (Major Monogram stares at the audience) By the way, I don't know if you've noticed but there's like a thousand people sitting behind you, watching us. Weird. Anyway, get out there and find Doofenshmirtz.

(Screen goes static and Perry gets out of his chair and pushes it away and starts searching for Doofenshmirtz. He does a cartwheel and 3-in-a-row back-flips. Doofenshmirtz suddenly comes out of nowhere pushing the incomplete Audience Control-Inator)

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. You found me!

(Perry continues looking for Doofenshmirtz as if Doofenshmirtz isn't even there)

Doofenshmirtz: How does he not know I'm here? Hello? They been playing my theme song. Play it again louder, please!

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!

(Perry finally hears the theme song and spots Doofenshmirtz and holds out his fists)

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. You found me! I suppose you're wondering what delightfully evil device I built today. Well, let's jump right to the "Behold" then, shall we? Behold! The Audience-Control-Inator!

(The sound of crickets are heard in the background)

Doofenshmirtz: You know that would sound better with an echo effect, one more time, Okay. Behold! The Audience-Control-Inator-Inator-Inator!

(The audience is still not terrified by the beholding)

Doofenshmirtz: It's still not saying "evil" yet, how about lighting and thunderbolts, okay, you guys ready, lighting, thunderbolts, and the echo, here we go. BEHOLD! (Lighting and thunderbolts appear on the screen) THE AUDIENCE-CONTROL-INATOR-INATOR-INATOR! (The audience is now terrified, and the lighting and thunderbolts disappear) Aww, there we go, much better. So, Perry the Platypus, I bet your wondering why I want to control this audience? Well, there's a simple explamation, let's tone to the dramatic lighting, and heart wreaching music. (He pushes his inator aside and the sad music starts playing when the spotlight in on Doofenshmirtz) All my life I've had a dream, a simple dream. A dream to be the biggest musical theatre star in the entire Tri-State Area, but alas, there's just one teeny miniscule obstacle to achiving my dream. (The music scratches and stops playing) It's my complete and utter lack of talent. (The screen shows a big thumb down) But with my Control-Inator-Inator-Inator, (The lighting and thunderbolts re-appear on the screen, then disappear again) they will love everything I do, and all of my dreams will come true.

(Song: Dare to Dream-Dobdinob)

Doofenshmirtz: Because I dare to... Dream

(Song: I Feel Pretty-West Side Story)

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, I'm a man with dreams. And just thinking of being the biggest star in Tri-State Area makes me feel...

I feel pretty

Oh, so pretty

That the city should give me its key

(Song: One-A Chorus Line)

(Dancers come on stage and one gives Doofenshmirtz a sparkly lab coat and takes the plain lab coat away)

Doofenshmirtz and Dancers:  One singular sensation, every little step I take

One thrilling combination, every move that I make

One smile and suddenly nobody else will do

You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who

One moment in my presence and you can forget the rest

For the boy is second best to none, son

Ohhh! Sigh! Give me your attention

Do I really need to mention

I'm the one!

(Goon comes in with a cage like trap)

Ohhh! Sigh! Give me your attention!

(Doofenshmirtz grabs Perry's arm, puts him in the cage, and locks him. Perry just goes with it and keeps dancing)

Do I really need to mention

I'm...the...one!

(The dancers put their canes in the cage completing the trap that Perry suddenly realizes about. The song ends and holds for applause)

Doofenshmirtz: Well, well, well, Perry the Platypus, you're trapped! Cane you believe it? (Laughs) I'm a triple threat. I sing, I dance and I make painfully obvious puns. I'm unstoppable! Now it's time to complete the construction on the Control-inator!...inator, inator? Look, I had to make my own echo effect, are you guys even awake up there? (Lightning and thunderbolts hit and Doofenshmirtz cackles) There you go!

(Song: Quirky Worky Song)

Women in background: Suitty-up, Bootty-up, Dit-Dit-Dittly-Da, (X3)

Ditty, Ditty-Da, da-da, da-da-da

(Doofenshmirtz dances to the song and he, the dancers, the trapped Perry and Goon leave the stage and we go back to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Candace, Jeremy Milly, Gretchen and Katie in the Flynn-Fletcher Backyard)

Suitty-up, Bootty-up, Dit-Dit-Dittly-Da, (X3)

Ditty, Ditty-Da, da-da, da-da-da

(Song ends) Phineas: Alright everyone. We have this stage. We have this audience. Now all we need is an idea for our show.

Baljeet: But there is a lot of work! And there are sonials, plus these random dancers that keep showing up.

Isabella: Yeah, where do they keep coming from?

Buford: And more importantly, do they have a green room with snacks?

Baljeet: Focus, Buford.

Phineas: Well, we did build a skyscraper to the moon. But, for now, let's get back to what we are doing before. But, we have got to figure out what kind of show it's gonna be. Let's hear some ideas. On the count of three, everyone think out loud. One, two, three. Think!

(Everyone starts murmuring different ideas for the show out loud)

Phineas: Got any ideas for our show? Just shout it out.

(They continue thinking. Suddenly, Ferb comes up the front of the stage to say his idea)

Ferb: Beach party.

(Song: Backyard Beach)

Phineas: Great idea, Ferb! A beach party will help us think of an idea for our show!

Ferb: Actually, I was thinking the beach party would be the --

Jeremy: Hey, yeah, a day at the beach always clears my mind.

Ferb: No, what I meant was --

Baljeet: Oh, I would be able to come up with an excellent idea if we have a beach party.

Ferb: Oh, never mind! Give me the mic.

(One of the divas hands Ferb the microphone while the music plays. Everyone onstage prepares and grabs towels or coconuts or other things. Ferb warms up and starts to sing)

Ferb: Listen up people and I'll teach ya

'Bout Phineas and Ferb and the backyard beach-a,

Every morning, Phineas, he gonna say

Singers: Say!

Ferb: "Brother, whatcha gonna do today?"

Now you see we're having fun, playing under the sun,

And get in line, get in line, 'cause the wet ski's running

A backyard beach, a backyard beach

Nothing's outta reach, we got the backyard beach

You can change in the broken hut,

Drink out of a coconut, Three game for a token, but the rest is free

You got skiing, parasailing,

Surfing and a-flailing,

Your contacts need saline,

Or else, you can't see

Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach

Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach

Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach,

Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!

(Music keeps playing and every keeps dancing and doing things at the beach)

Ferb: Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach

Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach

Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach

Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!

(The music keeps playing as the song is close to it's finish)

Everyone: Hey! Hey! Backyard Beach!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ferb: Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!

All: Hey!

(Song ends and holds for applause)

Isabella: What about you Phineas? What idea do you have for the show?

Phineas: I was thinking something with miniature golf would be fun.

(Song: Phinedroids and Ferbots "instrumental")

(Construction workers come out with tools, blades and other things. The Divas also come to join)

Phinedroids and Ferbots (X4)

We're Phinedroids and Ferbots

And we're stomping our feet

To the electric, magnetic mechanical beat

We've got light bulbs for eyes

And aluminum noses

We're bustin' chillin' moves with our robot poses

(Bustin' chillin' moves with our robot poses)

(Everyone joins together and builds together a doorway. They dance along to robotic music)

Phinedroids and Ferbots (X4)

Baljeet: Hello? Keep building!

(Music speeds up a little bit and everyone starts working and building. Phineas, Ferb and the others come to the front of the stage with blades and hammers.)

Phineas: Come on guys! Let's do it!

(Phineas, Ferb and the others create banging noises and the audience repeat the noises by clapping their hands)

''Bang, bang, bang! Clap, clap, clap!''

Phineas: Good!

''Bang, bang, bang! Clap, clap, clap!''

Phineas: Keep going!

''Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!''

Phineas: Nice!

''Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang! Clap, clap, clap! Clap, clap, clap!''

Phineas: Way to go!

My arm was a gutter, my right shin was a drain

The whole thing is controlled by ti-titanium brains

But without imagination, everything we create turns out lame

(Imagination, our imagination)

Phinedroids and Ferbots (X4)

Phineas: Behold... the... idea... mash-up... machine!

(The whole building is now complete and ready for testing)

Phinedroids and Ferbots

Word (Song ends and holds for applause. Everyone poses and Candace stops, and walks up to Phineas and Ferb)

Candace: Ugh, alright already, make the thing work!

Phineas: Okay Ferb! Let's see what this puppy can do.

(Ferb starts tapping buttons on the control pad and the machine is put into work. Screws start rotating back and forth and couple of times and suddenly, the machine shuts down)

Candace: That was a bit anti-climatic, don't you think?

Phineas: Well, you see Candace. It occurs to me that the audience has been sitting for roughly 42 minutes. They might need a bathroom break. Time for intermission! You go do, what you gotta do and we'll be right here waiting.

Baljeet: But I have to use the bathroom... .too.

(Curtains close and a toilet flushes. The show has finished Act 1 and intermission occurs)

Act II
(The lights go off and the show is now in progress in the final Act of the show. Evil and dramatic music starts playing. The Goon walks on stage and faces the audience.)

Goon: Greetings, people of the audience. My boss, the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz, has finally completed his greatest invention ever, the Audience-Control-Inator! And to make sure his invention works, he requested that we find some test subjects from the audience. Unfortunately, we could not find any willing volunteers. So, to get some people up here, we told them they won the award for the "Least Vigity Audience Member", and they fell for it. So let's bring em' out!

(Game show-like music plays and Doofenshmirtz's dancers from before come on stage with kids from the audience)

Goon: Hello volunteers. Now it's time to tell you the truth. You were not the "Least Vigity Audience Members". However, you do get to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz's very first test subjects. (Thunder and lightning strikes and evil, dramatic music plays. The game show-like music plays again and Doofenshmirtz comes out with the finished Audience-Control-inator)

Doofenshmirtz: Hello there, members of the "Least Vigity Audience Member" award.

(Goon shakes his head no to Doofenshmirtz)

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, they know. Okay, sorry about that little white line but really? An award for sitting in a chair and watching a show, is that what you were expecting. And this one didn't even sit still. I was watching you from up here, fidgeting the whole time. Anyway, moving right on to my evil plan. You all stand right there and I'll test out the Audience-Control-Inator! (Thunder, lightning and echos) This is the first time I'm using this so if you feel all tingly afterwards or, you know, lose all your hair or, you know, my bad. (Doofenshmirtz presses a button and the Audience Control-Inator warms up)

Doofenshmirtz: After I fire the Control-Inator, I'll give you commands and you'll do whatever I say. Ready? 3... 2....... 1!

(Doofenshmirtz fires the Control-inator and it blasts the kids)

(Song: Gitchee Gitchee Goo "instrumental")

Doofenshmirtz: Alright, now dance!

Goon: Come on, that means all of you too. Everybody, up on your feet.

(Kids and dancers start dancing)

Dancers: Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!

That's what my baby says!

Mow-mow-mow!

And my heart starts pumping!

Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wap!

Never gonna stop!

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!

Doofenshmirtz: Show me your moves! Do the swim!

(Kids do the swim)

Do the monkey!

(Kids do the monkey)

That's right! Do the robot!

(Kids do the robot)

Do the robot, do the monkey!

(Kids dance like a robotic monkey)

Dancers: Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!

That's what my baby says!

Mow-mow-mow!

And my heart starts pumping!

Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wap!

Never gonna stop!

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!

Doofenshmirtz: Keep dancing!

(Kids continue dancing)

That's it. Now get funky! Dance like nobody's watching.

(Music stops for a second)

Except for all these people here 'cause they're probably watching you.

(Music continues)

Dancers: Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!

That's what my baby says!

Mow-mow-mow!

And my heart starts pumping!

Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wap!

Never gonna stop!

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!

Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow!

That's what my baby says!

Mow-mow-mow!

And my heart starts pumping!

Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wap!

Never gonna stop!

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! (X2)

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means...

That I love you baby, baby, baby!

Baby-baby-baby-baby...

Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you!

(Alarm goes on and smoke comes from the Audience-Control-inator and the song ends)

Doofenshmirtz: Heh, heh, well it comes to mind, oops. I think my Control-Inator might need just a little more work. At least you got your own formation back, so you could applaud yourself if you like.

(Audience applauds)

There you go. Give yourselves a hand. See you in a bit.

(Doofenshmirtz leaves the stage with the Audience-Control-inator. The Goon leaves to and the dancers take the kids back to their seats while the game show-like music plays again. Music finishes and the stage goes dark. Phinedroids and Ferbots music play as the stage curtains open and we go back to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Candace, Jeremy and the Fireside Girls who are in the same place as they were last time, and they are frozen. After awhile they move again and the music ends)

Baljeet: Oh no! I never got to use the bathroom! ????????

Phineas: Okay Ferb, let's combine Buford's truck drving idea with the Isabella's marshmallow roasting idea.

(Ferb starts typing on the controls and the machine starts working and the screws turn back and forth. Phineas and Ferb go backstage.)

Candace: '???' What about my pants show? Nothing is going to top that.

(The machine stops and there is a honking noise with marshmallows flying out of nowhere.)

Phineas: Lets go!

(Music starts playing and smoke starts coming out from behind the contraption. Candace is stunned and runs away from the smoke.)

Phineas: You ready? Let's do it!

(Phineas and Ferb are seen in mini marshemallow-combined go-karts. The smoke starts clearing and Phineas and Ferb start driving around in circles. Candace screams.)

Candace: I ??? on the marshmallow trucks!

(Phineas and Ferb keep driving around with Candace, Jeremy and Baljeet running around. Eventually they stop for a second.)

Phineas: You ready? Let's go!

(They continue driving again and they start slowing down as they're about to run into each other.)

Jeremy: Wait, watch out! Oh man.

(Baljeet and Candace start screaming. Phineas and Ferb run into each other and marshmallows start flying every where.)

Candace: Okay, marshmallows and monster trucks: It's different.

Jeremy: Yeah!

(Ferb goes over to go-kart and honks horn. He shrugs.)

Phineas: Oh those aren't the monster trucks.

(An engine in the backround start running.)

This is the monster truck.

Buford (in backround): It's show time! Make room for the marshmallow-truck drivin boy!

(A giant truck comes out with Buford inside driving it.)

(Song: Truck Driving Boy)

Candace: Oh no! A truck!

(Jeremy goes over to Candace and the start dancing. Phineas and Ferb back up the go-karts.)

Budord: Whoo! Yee-haw!

(Buford comes out of the monster truck and joins the others. Phineas and Ferb grab a cannon from the go-karts and launch "things" into the audience.)

Singer: Well now, let me tell you all a story about a truck driving boy.

He ???????? toy.

Now this speed demon is gonna have some fun,

Buford in the driver seat to get the job done.

A monster truck on monster roads are always of joy,

He's a truck driving boy, he's a truck driving boy.

(Music continues playing, Phineas and Ferb continue launching the "things" into the audience and Candace, Jeremy and Buford dance along to the song.)

When the shifts in the ???

If you had it all,

???????? fall

???????? toy

He's a truck driving boy, he's a truck driving boy.

He's a tire-spinning, gear-riding, punch-hurting, back-burning, make-trader?, ramp-flying, lower-???, ???, truck driving boy.

(Buford does a quick handstand and the song ends and holds for applause.)

Phineas: Hey Ferb, you know what else this show could use? A Baljeet-Bollywood-Builder. Mash that idea in there too.

(Buford goes back into the monster truck and dirves away and Candace and Jeremy go into the go-karts and drive away too. Ferb types on the machine and it does it's work again. The screws start rotating. Suddenly, a chair covered by a red sheet comes out of nowhere.)

Baljeet: Here I come!

(An elephant blows it's trunk. Ferb removes the sheet off the chair to reveal Baljeet in Bollywood clothing. Music plays and Baljeet laughs.)

Yee-haw!

(Singers are in the backround and start singing. Baljeet starts to dance. Isabella and the Fireside Girls come out with marshmallow plugged onto their hands and feet. Candace and Jeremy also come out with Bollywood drums. Baljeet is given drum sticks and starts drumming on the marshmallow hands of Isabella and the Fireside Girls. Candace and Jeremy drum on the drums they brought in. The music resumes and the singers continue. The song is coming to it's end.)

All: Hey! Hey!

(Song ends and holds for applause.)

Phineas: Alright, now it's time to mash up my minature golfing idea with Jeremy's disco idea!

Jeremy: Ha, ha! Yeah!

(Ferb types on the machine and it does it's work once again. The screws start turning and everyone leaves backstage. The machine finishes. 3 dancers come in with afros.)

All: Disco!

(Song: Disco Minature Golfing King)

(Disco music starts playing and the dancers dance along and eventually, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Buford, Baljeet and Jeremy come in with their disco versions of their normal clothing.)

Phineas: He's the Disco Minature Golfing King!

Dancers: He can dance and sing and really shake his thing.

He's the Disco Minature Golfing King!

In the sun, his ????

He's the Disco Minature Golfing King!

(Isabella and the Fireside Girls come out with giant beach balls that look like golf balls.)

??? from the disco ball, majesty.

?????

He can dance and sing and reall shake his thing.

He's the Disco Minature Golf..ing....King!

(The stage goes dark and the disco lights on everyone start glowing in the dark. Isabella and the Fireside Girls launch the giant beach balls into the audience and msuic plays. The audience bounch the ball all over the place. After awhile, the dancers go to retrieve the disco balls and bring them back.)

He can dance and sing and really shake his thing.

He's the Disco Minature Golfing King!

In the sun, his ???

He's the Disco Minature Golfing King!

??? from the disco ball, majesty.

?????

He can dance and sing and really shake his thing,

He's the Disco Minature Golf...ing...King!

He's the Disco Minature Golf....ing....King!

(Song ends and holds for applause.)

?????

(Ferb began typing on the machine once again for Candace's pants show. The screws rotate again. The machine stops and finishes.)

Fashion!

(A pants comes out. Candace looks at it.)

Candace: Nah! Next!

(A man comes out with mans. Candace looks at it)

So last fall. Please! Even Stacy wouldn't where these.

(Pants #3)

Nope, no way! Not my style. Not fabulous much.

(Pants #4)

Too fuzzy! Too blah! Move it along! Keep it coming!

(Pants #5)

Not even close! Come on! How hard can it be to find the perfect pair of pants!

(Music plays and pants 6 comes down. Candace gasps.)

The perfect pants!

(2 of the disco dancers come out and help Candace. She puts on the pants and music starts playing.)

(Song: Fabulous)

Singer: Your fabulous!

Candace: I'm fabulous!

Singer: Your fabulous!

Candace: I'm fabulous!

Singer: Your fabulous!

Candace: I'm fabulous!

Singer: You're the one, yes, you're the star!

With pants like these, you can't go far.

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're the one we all can see

It's all about you! (It's all about me!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

(The music continues playing and Candace walks on an esculator with people in the backround taking pictures of her.)

You're the one, you so, so are!

You're everything that fashions are!

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're the one we all can see

It's all about you! (It's all about me!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're fabulous! (I'm fabulous!)

You're fabulous!

You're fabulous!

(Song ends and holds for applause.)

Phineas: Okay, Candace. Now, can we mash your pants idea with something else?

Candace: Oh come on! My pants show is perfect! Except changing clothes in front of thousands strangers part.

Phineas: Well the Fireside Girls wanted to have the show with cute, fuzzy animals.

Candace: Oh, well that's fine! Who doesn't like cute, fuzzy animals?

Phineas: Take it away, Ferb!

(Ferb began typing on the computer and the machine works once again.)

Got for it!

(The machine finishes and there is a squirel noise. Soft, baby music plays and Isabella and the Fireside Girls come out holding little squirrels in their arms.)

Isabella & Fireside Girls: Small and cute!

We love them so.

Petting them feels like melting snow.

With fur so soft and eyes that lease.

We don't care if they carry disease.

(Audience laughs.)

Candace: Aww, look at the wittle squirr-els. You're so cute! Oh yes you are, yes you are! Who's so cute? You are! Who's so cute? You are! Who's so cute? You are!

(Horror music starts playing and the squirels chirp angrily.They go all over Candace. Candace screams.)

Evil squirels! Not cute! Note cute at all! Help!

(Candace screams and horror music stops.)

Wait, they're gone! Where did they go?

(They're on her pants.)

NO! Get off! Get away! No, no, no, no, no!

(Backround changes to squirrels where glasses and dancing. The audience laughs. Candace starts dancing trying to get the squirrels off. Music plays.)

(Song: S.I.M.P: Squirels in my Pants)

Phineas: Hey Candace! I like your new dance moves.

Candace: There's squirrels in my pants!

Singer: Tell me what's making you jump like that.

Candace: S-I-M-P: Squirrels in my pants!

Singer: Ain't got no chickens, ain't go no rats.

Candace: S-I-M-P: Squirrels in my pants!

Singer: S to the I to the M to the P

Then maybe you can be moving like me...

Step right over and watch me put it down

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

TBC