History of the Tri-State Area

 is a song performed by Don, a city hall tour guide in the episode "Where's Pinky?", explaining the Tri-State Area's long history to city hall visitors.

Lyrics
(We see two glass boxes with miniature depictions of Ain't Got Rhythm and Impress My Professor)

Don: And over here are the spontaneous musical number dioramas.

Candace: The huh?

''Don: Ooh, Danville is known for its spontaneous musical numbers. For instance...''

(Begins singing)

A lot of people know that the Tri-State Area

Used to be a Bi-State Area with an Adjacent Area over there;

What people don't know is that originally it was three distinct

Single-State Areas, but people don't care.

The founders of the Area were independent thinkers,

Completely unaffected by bureaucratic hurdles

And that's why the Capitol building was moved here from Sri Lanka

On the backs of seven giant sea turtles.

It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,

Formed mostly from adobe and seaweed;

If you've heard it different elsewhere, that's historical hysteria,

So stop believing everything you read!

Over here's a diorama of the first diorama

Of Vincent Diorama, who lived right here!

When I say "right here", I mean in this very room,

'Til we moved him to a studio apartment last year.

It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,

Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss;

It's the birthplace of the onion and the Danville cafeteria,

And home of Bigfoot's hairless cousin, us!

It's the history of an area, the Tri-State Area,

Where planet Venus holds some office space;

Try to think of someplace better, well I double-dog-dare ya,

But if you can't, then get out of my face!

It's the

Don and male tour patrons: History of the Tri-State Area!

Background singer: History of the

Background singer, Candace, and female tour patrons: Tri-State Area!

Background singer: Area!

Don: ''And now, step this way for the history of the history of accounting. (All tour patrons groan.)''

Background information

 * The tour guide, Don, is voiced by Wayne Brady of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Let's Make a Deal fame.  Brady co-wrote the song as well.
 * This is the third Gilbert & Sullivan-esque patter song, after Atlantis and I Really Don't Hate Christmas.
 * At the beginning of the song, pictures from Ain't Got Rhythm and Impress My Professor are seen in glass boxes.

Songwriters

 * Wayne Brady
 * Eddie Pittman
 * Joshua Pruett
 * Robert F. Hughes
 * Jeff "Swampy" Marsh
 * Martin Olson
 * Dan Povenmire