Phineas and Ferb Save Summer/Transcript

Act 1
(Song: Summer All Over the World)

(The show's logo with episode's title appears a black background, and the scene fades up into Danville Park where a concert is taking place. It is Phineas and the gang performing. Buford begins with his drums. Isabella comes in with the bass, followed by Ferb on rhythm guitar and Phineas on lead guitar.)

Phineas: Hot dogs, cotton candy,

Tire swings and barbecue,

In the shade, in the sun

Ev'rywhere's a rockin' view,

As long as we're together,

Doesn't matter what we do!

Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Bike ridin' down a hill,

Slammin' out a screen door,

Steaks sizzle on the grill,

Waves crashin' on the shore,

It's beautiful from here

And you know you want some more!

Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

Phineas: Come on!

Ferb: Come on!

(Cut to England where Phineas and the gang also seem to be performing in different costumes.)

Phineas: Get ready, ev'rybody!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Get up on your feet...

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

(Cut to Mardi Gras in New Orleans where Phineas and the gang are now on a parade float in different costumes.)

Phineas: And let your body feel the beat!

Band and Crowd: We're havin' a party!

Phineas: Come on and rock the curve!

All: 'Cause it's summer, summer all over the world!

Ev'ry boy and ev'ry girl,

Jump up and say,

Ooh! Yeah!

Ooh! Ooh! Yeah!

Well, if not the world,

Then at least in the Northern Hemisphere

The other half is in a different time of year

But they can still say,

Ooh! Yeah!

Ooh! Ooh! Yeah!

Phineas: Hello, world! Welcome to our musical tribute to summer! And if you're wondering what we're doing today...

Isabella: ...we're reaching out to everyone to share our love of summer!

Baljeet: Using Ferbographic technology, we are simulcasting our virtual selves around the planet!

Phineas: To put it simply, we're joining you to celebrate around the world, all from the comfort of our own backyard!

Ev'ry corner of the world, yeah!

Phineas: And now help us in welcoming a very special guest and the visual metaphor for the carefree days of summer, Perry the Platypus!

(Crowd cheers, then gasps as the Perry hologram disappears)

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

(Cut to a car driving.)

Carl: (offscreen) Gosh, sir. I've never been to a cadet graduation before. (Cut to inside the car to reveal Carl driving while Monogram and Perry are in the back.) I hope I'm not underdressed.

Major Monogram: No, you're fine, Carl. Not everything's about you, you know. (A beeping sound is heard. Monogram pushes a button on the TV monitor beneath him and a highly decorated colonel appears onscreen.) Hello, Colonel Contraction.

Colonel Contraction: Greetings, Major! I just wanna wish you good luck on today's event! I've got the cake, and I'll be on my way just as soon as I'm done skimming out my kid's pool.

Major Monogram: Very good, sir. This year's event will be held at the Knights of Danville Hall, Ballroom B.

Colonel Contraction: Ballroom B? Isn't that a shared space?

Major Monogram: Just another money-saving idea of mine, sir.

Colonel Contraction: I don't know, Major. What about security?

Major Monogram: Oh, don't worry, sir. No one will know it's us. We're registered as the "Capulet Bat Mitzvah".

Colonel Contraction: Hmm, well, you have my utmost confidence, Major. But it goes without saying, any mishap could cost you your position. Contraction out!

Major Monogram: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I've got a good feeling about this!

(Awkward silence.)

(Cut to an exterior shot of the Knights of Danville Hall.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Nice goin', Norm! (Cut to backstage where Doof is having a talking-to to Norm.) Next time someone asks for volunteers to host the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. Service Awards, say your own name, Mr. Blabbermouth!

Norm: But, sir, I made all the arrangements for you.

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, and a fine job you did, too. We are sharing the space with another event!

Norm: What's wrong with that?

Doofenshmirtz: What's wrong with it? What would happen if all the other evil organizations found out we were sharing? They'd be all, "Oh, look! There goes L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.! They share! They're cocky and uncoordinated and don't wear name-brand jeans!" "Well, maybe people can't afford designer jeans, Julie!

(beat)

Norm: Wow, that was...

Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard it.

Norm: Well, don't worry, sir. No one will know it's our event. We're registered as the "Hatfield Wedding Reception".

Doofenshmirtz: Well, let's hope nobody knows it's us. (walks off) Now, get out of my way, you perfunctory party planner.

(Cut to a panning shot of Ballroom B as it is revealed that both OWCA and L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. are sharing the space.)

Carl: (offscreen) Sir, may I offer you one of my budget-saver hors d'ouevers before you go on? It's an old family recipe. Strips of bologna and wadded-up white bread.

Major Monogram: Where exactly are you from?

Carl: Chula Vista.

Major Monogram: Hmmm. Nevermind, Carl. It's showtime! (Cut to the stage) Hello, everyone! Welcome to the O.W.C.A. Graduation Ceremony!

(All the OWCA agents make excitable noises. Cut to the other space. Doof walks onstage.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hello, and welcome to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s first annual... (The agents' cheering is still heard. Doof speaks louder.) I said, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s FIRST ANNUAL DISSERVICE AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!!!! So, who's ready to have some fun?

Major Monogram: What the heck is all that racket? I'm just gonna go over there and tell them to keep it down. I'll be polite but firm. (He opens the divider to reveal Doof, as a record scratch is heard, then he closes it up again.) Huh. What are the odds?

Doofenshmirtz: (reopening the divider) Wait, you're the Capulet Bar Mitzvah?

Major Monogram: You're the Hatfield Wedding?

(The agents and the villains make angry noises.)

Major Monogram: Alright, everyone, take it easy. Just calm down. No reason to get upset. We've got a massive security deposit on this place. So, everybody just...

Parrot: Rawk! Polly wants a streetfight!

(A huge western-style fight breaks out, which is interrupted by a man opening the ballroom door.)

Man: Hup! Sorry to interrupt, I'll come back when you're done.

(The man leaves and the fight resumes.)

Major Monogram: We are so gonna lose our deposit.

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house.)

Linda: (offscreen) Here's your stuff from the attic, Candace.

(Cut to Candace's bedroom.)

Linda (cont'd): I don't know why you couldn't find it.

Candace: I don't know, Mom. It must've been behind something. Heh heh.

Linda: Candace, you didn't go up there at all, did you?

Candace: Oh, Mom, I just couldn't go up there. It's all gross and webby.

Linda: Candace Flynn, don't tell me you're still afraid of spiders.

Candace: Pfft! Spiders? Are you kidding? Why would I be afraid of an itsy bitsy SPIDER!??!?! (jumps up to the top shelf) Aah! Ahh! Ew ew ew ew!

Linda: Oh, for crying out loud. It's a hair clip. That looks nothing like a spider.

Candace: (chuckles) I knew that! I'm just showing you how silly it is to be afraid of a little spider.

Linda: Mmhmm. Well, you got your box. Now I have to go.

Candace: Where are you going?

Linda: Your dad and I are going spelunking.

Candace: Spelunking? You mean, like, in a cave?

Linda: It's a journey of self-discovery while crawling around in a hole. Your dad found it on a group coupon website.

Candace: (sarcastically) Yeah, that sounds fun

Linda: Just remember, you're in charge, Miss Muffet.

(Cut back to the fight. Contraction enters carrying a cake.)

Colonel Contraction: Alright, Major, here's the ca--Oh! (He sees the results of the fight. The whole room is a mess and agents are groaning in defeat.) Ateahoo!

Major Monogram: (gets up and salutes) Colonel Contraction, sir!

Colonel Contraction: Major Monogram, I hold you personally responsible for turning one of our most sacred ceremonies into a grade A countrified debacle!

Major Monogram: Debacle?

Colonel Contraction: DEBACLE! Now normally, I'd be able to forgive this kind of thing because of your tireless dedication and spotless record to OWCA, but it's clear to me that you lost our security deposit and that is something I cannot forgive. I'm forced to relieve you of command. I'll take that... (rips off the first "M" on Monogram's uniform) and that! (rips off his mustache)

Monogram: Actually, sir, that mustache was mine.

Colonel Contraction: Not anymore. (leaves, then reenters) DEBACLE!!! Carl the Intern, until a replacement can be found, (puts mustache on Carl) you are provisionally in charge. (salutes) Congratulations, Provisional Unpaid Major-in-Charge Carl!

Major-in-Charge Carl: Major, I...I don't...

Monogram: Carl, be strong. I must step down. We must all do our duty. (The agents hum "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" under this.) And that is what our, I mean, your organization is built upon. People following orders.

(He leaves both with pride and shame.)

(Cut back to Candace's bedroom where she's going through her box.)

Candace: Oh, cool, my old tiara. Ooh, sparkly! (picks up a videocassette) Hey, I don't remember this. Hmm. (reads) "For: Future Candace!" Hey, wait a minute! I'm Future Candace! There's gotta be a machine around here that still plays these things.

(Cut to the backyard where Phineas and the gang are still doing their virtual concert. Candace approaches her brother.)

Candace: Phineas!

Phineas: Oh, hi, Candace! Nice outfit.

Candace: Nice glasses.

Phineas: Thanks! We're using them to simulcast ourselves all around the world.

(Cut to London where Candace is dressed as a royal guard.)

Candace: Sh-sh-sh-sh! No time! I need to watch this.

(Cut to Paris where Phineas is dressed in a beret and a striped shirt and neckerchief.)

Phineas: A videocassette? Wow, going old school, huh?

(Cut to the Swiss Alps where Candace is dressed like a Swiss Miss.)

Candace: Right? So how do I watch it?

(Cut to Phineas dressed as a Swiss yodeler.)

Phineas: Well, Dad has a universal video player in the garage.

(Cut to Japan where they are all anime characters doing the dance from Summer Belongs to You.)

Candace: Where in the garage?

(Cut to Mardi Gras.)

Phineas: 12 degrees northwest of the washing machine.

(In Soviet Russia, scene cut to you!)

Candace: Thanks. Carry on with your non-bustable activity. (She leaves.)

Phineas: Everyone, give it up for our sister, Candace Flynn!

(Crowd cheers.)

(Cut to a sign reading "Tri-State State Park Donkey Caverns. Zoom out to reveal the caves. Cut to inside the caves where Linda and Lawrence are wearing their spelunking gear with a rather nebbish looking tour guide.)

Tour Guide: Are you folks ready for a little adventure?

Lawrence: Oh, yes, we're ready for our journey of self-discovery while crawling through the belly of the Earth.

Tour Guide: Say what?

Lawrence: Well, like the ad said, "Inner Spelunking with Soul".

Tour Guide: What?! Oh, no, no, no! It's supposed to be "Saul", S-A-U-L. That's my name, Saul. There will be absolutely no self-discovery.

Lawrence: Awww.

Linda: You go on and self-discover, hun.

(Cut to the garage. Candace uncovers a tarp and discovers the universal video player. She puts the tape inside and sees a five-year-old version of herself onscreen.)

Young Candace: (onscreen) Keep the camera thteady, Thtacy.

Candace: Aw, look, it's me! Aw, I was so cute!

Young Candace: (on video) Thith ith Candathe Flynn. I'm five yearth old and it wath an awethome thummer! But I didn't get to do everything I wanted. Tho I made a litht of thingth that I want Future Candathe to take care of.

Candace: Oh, that's so cute. Of course, I'll take care of those things, Past Candace!

Young Candace: (on video) First on the list, invent an ice cream flavor, win a first-grade spelling bee, ride a unicorn. Tho if you're watching, Future Candathe, don't—

Young Stacy: (offscreen) Candace, don't forget number four, conquer fear of spiders.

Young Candace: (on video) Okay, that one creepth me out a little bit, but that should be no problem for you, Future Candathe!

Candace: But, but-but-but...But I'm "Future Candathe"!

(Cut to:)

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

(The doorbell rings, and Doof answers.)

Doofenshmirtz: Just a minute, I'm mopping. (opens the door) Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus, long time, no see. Say, that was some morning we had, huh? Too bad about Major Monogram, but the show must go on or a bird in the bush, eh-eh, I dunno. (Perry gets trapped in hardening foam.) Ha! You like that? It's a gift...foam-a me to you! Get it? As much as I like our little visits, you didn't need to come over. Actually, I'm not even trying to take over the Tri-State Area today. Y-You see, I have a problem. I am very fair-skinned. I don't know if you have noticed. I always have to use SPF 120 sunscreen even on a cloudy day or I'll burn. I mean, I'll actually burst into flames. And I got this whole crate on sale, and, and look, it's all 110 SPF! I thought I was getting 120! This is not gonna work. So rather than return this whole mess, which means I'd have to get in the car, drive down there, wait in line, then answer a bunch of questions about the delicacy of my epidermis, I'm just gonna move the Earth away from the sun just enough that the 110 will work. Simple. And to that end, I have created, tada!, my Shift-The-Earth's-Position-Further-Away-From-The-Sun-inator! Eh? I know. The name's a little cumbersome, but it's basically a tractor beam that uses the mass of Jupiter as an anchor to pull the Earth just slightly away from the sun to render my sunscreen effective. Eh. I guess my fortune cookie was right. I do tend to overcomplicate things. (picks up fortune) I wonder if that means these lottery numbers are--

(Perry punches Doof and the fight is on. Doof swipes his mop and Perry rides on it.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hmm? (Perry taps Doof's shoulder and grabs his nose.)

(Doof swipes the mop and Perry slides backwards on the crate and slams into the fire button on the inator. It works. It functions properly.)

Doofenshmirtz: Hee hee hee! You fired my inat-- (gets splashed by the wet mop)

(Cut to the virtual concert where the Earth is quaking. The crowd stops partying and starts screaming.)

Buford: Whoa! What was that?

Phineas: We are rockin' this place!

Act 2
(Open on the Earth being pulled towards Jupiter. Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. Cut to Candace's bedroom with Candace and Stacy inside.)

Stacy: Candace, what is that?

Candace: I don't know, but I can guess. (Shouts out the window.) Phineas, what is going on out there?!

Phineas: I don't know. It wasn't us. But we can find out. Irving, take over the concert for us!

Irving: All I know how to sing is one camp song.

Isabella: Then you rock that camp song, Irving!

(The gang leaves the virtual platform and Irving steps on and puts on his goggles.)

Irving: Um, okay. Here's a campfire song my mother taught me.

(Song: Irving's Camp Song)

Irving: Oh, never lick a tree below the dog line,

If it's brown and sticky, do not pick it up (Unless it's a stick.)

Banjo-playing hicks should be avoided,

And it's no joke, that poison oak is not a friendly shrub.

With a diddly-diddly-doo and a doodly-doodly-dee,

Something horrible will happen if you don't listen to me.

(The song continues under.)

Phineas: Well, according to the pocket barometer, the atmospheric pressure has lowered dramatically since this morning.

Buford: You checked the atmospheric pressure this morning?

Phineas: Yeah. I check it every morning. After I brush my teeth.

Buford: You brush your teeth every morning?

Phineas: Well, yeah.

Buford: Huh. (beat, to Baljeet) He thinks he's better than us.

Phineas: Oh, no! Duck! (the gang ducks) No, I mean, like, a whole lot of ducks. Look! (Cut to the sky to reveal a whole of ducks flying in their "v" formation.) They look like they're migrating south. Guys, I think something's weird with the weather.

Baljeet: We should monitor the conditions in the upper atmosphere. I have a weather balloon.

Buford: Why would you have a weather balloon?

Baljeet: Buford, you have full-sized molds of all of us.

(beat)

Buford: We should use Baljeet's weather balloon!

(Cut to Candace's bedroom.)

Stacy: Wow, I remember this list!

Candace: Yep, Stace, I promised five-year-old me that I'd do everything on that list.

Stacy: Well, let's see what you gotta do. "Invent a new ice cream flavor, win a first-grade spelling bee, ride a unicorn, and conquer fear of spiders." Ha! Good luck with that last one.

Candace: What are you talking about?

Stacy: Candace, everyone knows you're terrified of spiders.

Candace: Pfft. Spiders? Are you kidding? Why would I be afraid of an itsy bitsy SPIDER!?!?!?! AAAH! AHHH! GET IT! GET IT! EW EW EW EW EW!!

Stacy: Oh, I remember this hair clip.

(Cut to the caverns.)

Saul: Most people don't think life can survive down this deep, but most people don't know gastropods the way I do. Take a gander at this salamander. Notice anything unusual?

Lawrence: Oh, yes, his gills are on the outside of his body.

Saul: They are? Ew! Oh! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Lawrence: (to Linda) It didn't have any eyes either.

Linda: Thanks for not mentioning that.

(Song: Doof 'N' Puss (instrumental))

(Cut to OWCA Headquarters. Perry uses the retina scan and a robotic arm comes out and he performs the secret handshake with it.)

Computer: You may enter.

(The door opens and a chicken flies out. He walks inside the office and it is complete chaos all around. None of the agents are wearing their fedoras and are simply acting like their mindless selves.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: (whispering) Psst! Agent P, down here! (Cut to reveal Major-in-Charge Carl hiding in a kennel. Agent P approaches him.) Is that goat still eating out of the inbox? (Perry nods.) It's a good thing I hid the outbox.

Monty: Carl!

Perry: (chatters)

Monty: Oh, Agent P, what's going on? It's like a zoo in here. Where is my dad?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Your father's been fired.

Monty: Fired? Really?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yes! And all the animal agents are going crazy! (Monty opens the kennel and Major-in-Charge Carl crawls out.) On the upside, I've been promoted.

Monty: Yes, I see the mustache. (A printer is heard whirring. Monty takes out the paper.) Looks like you got a message.

Major-in-Charge Carl: It's intel from Agent Squab, our French surveillance pigeon. Hmm, there's a small shift in ambient temperature, there's civil unreasonableness at City Hall, and L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. is convening for a secret meeting?! Oh no! Why did this have to happen on my watch?!

Monty: Wait a minute, you got all that from this?

(Cut to the letter to reveal it is just slashes and foot markings.)

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yeah, that's how Agent Squab types, all hunt-and-peck.

Monty: Well, Carl, you're in charge. What are you gonna do about it?

Major-in-Charge Carl: You mean besides freak out?!

Monty: Get a hold of yourself. You know this agency as well as my dad. Maybe better. These agents just need leadership. Think: "What Would Major Monogram Do?"

Major-in-Charge Carl: You're right! (to the goat) Agent G, quit eating those memos and get out into the field! (to the dog) Agent D, go see what you can dig up! (to the owl) Agent O, go find out who's who! Agent Possum, play dead! (Agent Possum does so.) Excellent! (To the bear who is shredding documents) Agent B, go into the woods and...see what's out there! And the rest of you, get out there and fight evil! Agent P, I want you to go out to City Hall and get a reading on the situation there and then report back to me.

(Perry salutes and takes off.)

Monty: (puts on fedora) What about me, Carl? I can go spy on L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. if you--

Major-in-Charge Carl: Oh, no, no, Monty. I can't let you do that. That's...that's crazy! You're not even an animal.

Monty: We've got no choice, Carl. We're all gonna have to wear different hats today...and mustaches.

Major-in-Charge Carl: Hey, Monty?

Monty: What?

Major-in-Charge Carl: Thanks

Monty: No problem. Oh, and, uh, (takes off fedora) can I have a different hat? This one smells like a litter box.

Major-in-Charge Carl: Yeah, you should smell this thing.

(Cut to Monogram now working the drive-thru at Mr. Slushy Dawg.)

Monogram: Morning, your mission today: battle the forces of darkness and keep the Tri-State Area safe from evil-doers.

Driver: Uh, come again?

(Song: Slushy the Clown (instrumental))

Monogram: Oh, sorry. Force of habit. (gives the driver his order) Here's your order. Enjoy your Slushy Dawg. (The driver drives away. Monogram turns to Jeremy.) So, uh, how'm I doin', boss?

Jeremy: Yeah, this is the part of the job I hate the most, but...

Monogram: Yep. Say no more, sir. I completely understand. You don't have to fire me. (He takes off his uniform and gives it to Jeremy.) I resign.

Jeremy: But--

Monogram: (leaves, saluting, half-naked) Say no more. (hums)

Jeremy: But...but... I was just gonna ask him to clean the bathroom. (walks up to a female employee) Um, Dolores, this is the part of the job I hate the most.

Dolores: Oh, for crying out loud, just give me the mop.

(Cut to a newsstand where Stacy is reading off the list and Candace is riding a donkey with a horn on it and holding an ice cream cone in one hand and a trophy in the other.)

Stacy: Okay, let's see. "Invent a new ice cream flavor."

Candace: Grilled cheese!

Stacy: Check. "Win a first grade spelling bee."

Candace: Clover. C-L-O-V-E-R. Those stupid kids never knew what hit 'em!

Stacy: Check. "Ride a unicorn."...Of sorts.

Candace: Dreams can come true, Stacy!

Stacy: There's just one more thing on the list. Get over your fear of spiders.

Candace: No, I refuse! Quickly, Rainbow, we must away! Fly, now, fly! On, proud beauty! Fly, fly!

Rainbow: Aw hee haw hee haw!

(Cut to Danville City Hall.)

Gordon Gutsofanemu: Danville is in chaos. Summer has become slightly cooler. Some sources have gone far as to say, "brisk". We have word that the Mayor is about to address this slight drop in temperature. Let's listen.

Roger: (wearing a sweatshirt) Citizens of Danville, I want to assure you that your slight discomfort is of utmost importance to me and I will do everything in my power to...recommend you wear a cardigan or light sweater.

Woman #1: But all my sweaters are ugly and Christmas themed!

Roger: Well, then, just wear warmer clothes.

Man #1: Warmer clothes? Do you know how dumb I would look wearing socks with flip-flops? (to the crowd) Hey, his sweater looks nice and warm. Get it!

(The citizens become an angry mob and storm the steps.)

Roger: People, people. Look look look, take-take it easy. I'm still your mayor!

(Perry rescues Roger from the mob in his rocket car and places him on top of the roof.)

Roger: Thank you, good Samaritan platypus! (Perry leaves him there.) Although I'm not sure this is much of an improvement. I mean, I really don't know how to get down from here...and it's getting noticeably colder up here. Oh! It's a good thing I wore my sweater.

(Cut to Baljeet's weather balloon.)

Baljeet: Well, according to the conditions in the upper atmosphere...

(Cut to the gang now in their Christmas clothes outside the Garcia-Shapiro house.)

Baljeet (cont'd): ...we are in for a moderate cold front that shows absolutely no signs of subsiding.

Phineas: That's odd. I can't remember a single Danville summer where I needed to wear anything more than a T-shirt.

Isabella: Striped.

Phineas: And shorts.

Isabella: Blue cargo.

Baljeet: But the part that perplexes me the most is that, for some reason, the sun algorithm that I created keeps coming up with the wrong result!

Buford: 'Splain?

Baljeet: The diameter of the sun can be calculated from the distance between the Earth and the sun. Since we know the time taken for the Earth to go once around the sun, p=1 year, and the distance traveled by the Earth in this process, 2πa...

(During this, Buford starts to fall asleep.)

Baljeet: BUFORD!!!

Buford: Stop 'splainin'! Stop splainin'!

Isabella: So that would mean the Earth has moved?

Phineas: Apparently so.

Isabella: Well, that would explain why it's noticeably colder. (Cut to Irving still singing)

Irving: Your sinew's torn apart by a grizzly...  (shivers) Freezing!

Your large intestines wrapped around a tree... Does anyone have a sweater?

(Cut back to Phineas.)

Phineas: I think we're gonna have to run some more tests.

(Cut to an abandoned animal shelter. Monty is seen climbing up a pipe and into the building.)

Doofenshmirtz: (offscreen) Now, why do we always have to meet in drafty abandoned warehouses? I mean, why can't we meet in a drafty abandoned poolside cabana?

Dr. Bloodpudding: Oh ho ho ho! I'm bananas for cabanas!

Dr. Diminutive: Right?

Rodney: Okay, enough of that! Gentlemen, it's time we pooled our resources! Both OWCA and City Hall are in a panic and I believe now is the time to strike! Now, the last time we confronted those OWCA agents, we barely got out of there with our lives! (The villains agree.) It's time to play dirty! We'll stealthily capture them one at a time and imprison them here!

Villain #1: Yeah!

Villain #2: Gang up on them!

Villain #3: We can make it a musical number!

Rodney: Secondly, no one under any circumstances, is allowed to say "bananas for cabanas."

Dr. Bloodpudding: (offscreen) Noted.

Rodney: And third, which one of you moved the Earth away from the sun?

Act 3
Candace: Hey there, little fella. You're not such a tough guy, are you, mister spider? Aw, no you're not. No, not a bit. Ah, who ya kidding, Flynn? To face your fear, you gotta at least look. (gets creeped out by the spider) Ahh! Creepy crawly, creepy crawly, creepy crawly! Get off me, get off me, get off me, get off me! Ew, ew! I'm sorry, 5-year-old me. I tried. I really tried. (slaps herself) Snap out of it, current me! Summer's not over yet. (looks outside the window) Hey, wait a minute, summer's over? Who did th- oh... Phineas and Ferb. (runs downstairs) Phineas and Ferb, what did you do to summer?!

(cut to City Hall with the Evil Demands)

Male: Your fall is ruining summer.

Female: You made me buy a blanket with sleeves!

Male: My toilet seat's cold.

Doofenshmirtz: Ladies and gentlemen of the press, kindly put a cork in it. So you've probably figured out that the Earth has moved away from the sun.

Rodney: And we at LOVEMUFFIN are responsible. And now, we're here to extort you. And to that end, let me introduce you to Senor Killbot.

(Killbot walks in)

Killbot: (speaks in Spanish)

Rodney: You know, in case any of you extortees speak Español. We don't want to leave anyone out.

Killbot: (speaks in Spanish)

Audience: Awwww...

Female: Aw, that's cute.

Doofenshmirtz: And that's our new logo. Foreboding, yet comforting. So basically, if you want us to put the Earth back in its proper orbit, you have to meet our list of demands. Number 1: the minimum height to get on any roller coaster will now be this high. (puts his hand three inches over Dr. Diminutive's head)

End Credits
Irving: Everybody! Doodly doodly dee

Audience: Dengue fever!

Irving: Diddly diddly doo

Audience: Whooping cough!

Irving: If you go into the woods, then this will happen to you. (Audience cheering) Nature is gross. Thank you! Thank you very much. My mom taught me that song!

(World blows up in Buford's presentation)

Phineas and Ferb and the rest of the gang: Buford!