It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World/Transcript

Scene opens up with Phineas and Ferb playing with remote-controlled cars.

Linda: Hey, Boys.

Phineas: Hey, Mom!

Linda: So what are you up to today?

Phineas: We're racing our own remote-controlled monster trucks. [Remotes clicking]

Linda: I don't see any monster trucks.

Phineas: Oh, that's 'cause we rigged them to go light-speed. You now how those stock motors are. They never give you enough action.

Linda: You boys have such active imaginations. You must get it from your father.

Lawrence: Let's see... Green goes to number 5. [Laughs] I'm painting!

[Horn honking]

Linda: Oh, Charlene's here. I'm off to my cooking class.

Phineas: Bye, Mom. Final lap, Ferb. [Cars zooming] Aw man! Another photo finish. I'm never watching closely enough to see them won.

[Phone rings]

Candace: Despair speaking.

Stacy: Care to explain why Despair isn't picking up her cell phone this morning?

Candace: Because of a thing called PARALLEL PARKING! You see yesterday, Dad was teaching me how to drive...

[Flashback]

Lawrence: Okay, Candace. All you have to do is park between this plastic trash can, and that plastic trash can.

Candace: So I put it in reverse... AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

[Flashback ends]

AAH! AAH! AAH! [Sobbing] Then Dad said my parallel parking needs a little work! It means I'll never get my Driver's License! I'm such a loser.

Phineas: Oh My Gosh, Ferb. I can't believe it! I've never noticed how soft our carpets are. But more importantly, we have to help Candace get her confidence back. Any ideas?

[Ferb pulls out blueprint]

This is perfect! The Candace Crusher! Nothing says confidence like a monster truck. Hey, where's Perry?

[Slide squeaking]

Major Monogram: Oh, hey Agent P. So, get this: I got this memo this morning on Doofenshmirtz. And somebody abbreviated his name and it- Guess how they wrote it.

Doof! [Laughs] The Doof! [Laughs] It's times like these when you appreciate having a cool name like Monogram.

Carl: And Carl.

Major Monogram: I already told you you're name's not that cool. Anyway, do your stuff, Agent P, and stop that- DOOF! [Laughs]

Phineas: Take it all the way back, keep it moving, water follow the orange cones, parts, left to the garage, bleachers, right, um, Giant Baby Head... anywhere's good.

[Blow torch fizzing, rocks being scooped, drill whirring]