Rollercoaster: The Musical!/Transcript

''The scene opens in the backyard. Phineas is lying under the tree and Ferb is beside him, reading.''

Phineas: You know, Ferb. One of the best times we ever had was when we built that roller coaster. We should do it again, but this time as a musical! What d’ya say? We’ll do all the same things except we’ll break into spontaneous singing and choreography with no discernible music source!

Ferb: Hmm, what assurance would we have that everyone else will also break into song and do the same thing?

Phineas: I don’t know. I think they probably will.

Ferb: Fair enough. I’m in.

Phineas: ♪ I know what we’re gonna do today, ♪

♪ Though it might sound just a bit cliché. ♪

♪ We can build a roller coaster, but this time with songs and dancing! ♪

♪ ‘Cause when we’re back in school come next September, ♪

♪ And they ask us we can both remember ♪

♪ Every cool and clever thing we did all summer long, and glancing ♪

♪ Back we’re gonna be so glad that we ♪

♪ Didn’t sit all day and watch TV, ♪

♪ I don’t think anyone can disagree thew world is possiblities ♪

♪ And that’s what makes me say: ♪

Phineas and Chorus: ♪ Hey, Ferb! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and Chorus: ♪ Hey, Ferb, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and Chorus: ♪ Hey, Ferb, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: Boredom is something up with which I will not put!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and Chorus: ♪ Hey, Ferb, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: Boredom is something up with which I will not put!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hey, Ferb! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Phineas, Ferb! I’m gonna go pick up a few things. You boys stay out of trouble, okay?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Okay, Mom.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''In the driveway, Linda is getting in the car. Candace sees through the window and rushes outside'' <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: I’m in charge, right? You did tell them I’m in charge?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Relax, Candace. No one has to be in charge.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: But what if there’s an emergency?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: …Like what?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: What if, uh…what if a wild moose—a whole herd of them—burst into the house and attack everyone?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: If that happens, you’re in charge.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Yes!

Candace opens the gate to the backyard <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Mom says I’m in charge…conditionally!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: The condition didn’t have anything to do with a moose, did it?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: You know it’s funny you should mention that—oh! (Realizing she’s getting distracted) I’m watching you! (She goes into the house, watching them when the phone rings. She picks it up) Hello? Oh, hi, Stacy! Mom, just went to the store, she left me charge…well, you know, conditionally.

Switches to Stacy, where she and Jenny are in matching outfits <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Stacy: Well, that’s better than not in charge at all, I guess.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: It’s all about the varying degrees of authority. First, you’ve got conditionally in charge; then you’ve got your basically in charge; your mostly in charge; and there’s just in charge, completely devoid of modifiers. That’s what I’m shooting for. Wait, what are my brothers doing right now? What do you mean you can see it from where you are? See what?!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt"> Outside, Phineas and Ferb are building the roller coaster <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Check it out, Ferb. We can see Stacy’s house from here!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Phineas! What is this?!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Do you like it?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Ooh, I’m gonna tell Mom, and when she sees what you’re doing, you are goin’ down!

Jenny and Stacy show up as doo-wop music begins to play <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ You’re goin’ down when I get Mom to see! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (Down to the ground) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ This ridiculous monstrosity ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ You’ll never get away with this again. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ You’re G-O-I-N-G-D-O-W-N! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Spread the news from coast to coast ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (Down to the ground) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ You’re goin’ down, your operation exposed ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ I could say more but I don’t wanna boast ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’ down) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Get used to butter ‘cause you both are toast! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ If a certain condition arises, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I’m the one to avert the crisis! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ You think you’re livin’ large ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ But you forgot that I’m the one in charge… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Conditionally! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jenny and Stacy: ♪ (You’re goin’) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Down, down, down, down, down… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ You’re goin’ down! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: (To Ferb) See? No descirnible music source.

In the driveway, Isabella is walking up as Candace, Stacy and Jenny are leaving <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Hey, Candace. Hey, Stacy. Hey Jenny. How’d the number go?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Pretty good, but I’m still angry.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Well, I guess I’m up.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: ♪ I’m just the curious girl, ‘cross the way ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Every day I come over, and here’s what I say… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ What’s the day’s activity? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ By any chance could it include me? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, (Fireside Girls: Whatcha doin’?) whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I don’t mean to disturb. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, (Fireside Girls: Whatcha doin’?) whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella and the Fireside Girls: ♪ You know it’s not really directed at Ferb, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ When I say-ay-ay-ay-ay… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: ♪ Don’t ya know, Phineas? You have no idea ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ That every day I’m just dyin’ to see ya… ♪

And say… <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, (Fireside Girls: Whatcha doin’?) whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I really wanna know ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’, (Fireside Girls: Whatcha doin’?) whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Can I be part of the show? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella and the Fireside Girls: ♪ When I say-ay-ay-ay-ay… ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Whatcha doin’? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Hey, Isabella.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Whatcha doin’?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Building a roller coaster.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Again? Cool! Hey, Ferb!

Ferb waves <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Still a man of few words, I see.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Naw, you missed it. Earlier he had two lines.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Wow, chatty.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Hey, where’s Perry?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Perry walks around the corner of the house. He jumps up, puts on a fedora and walks into a hole in the wall. He goes down a lift, into a lair, where he gets an "Incoming Message"''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Major Monogram: Good morning Agent P. The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. For reasons unknown to us, he bought up 80% of the country's tin foil. (He stops, looking a bit surpirsed) Carl, didn’t-didn’t he already do that?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Yes, sir. At the beginning of summer.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Okay then. Well, Agent P, go out there and do the same thing you did last time.

Agent P salutes and runs off <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Good luck, Agent P. Ah, the world of a field agent, out in the thick of things. Not like me…

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ My whole world is this screen ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Just four walls of a rectangle ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ But I can dare to dream-- ♪

The lights suddenly turn off

Monogram: Carl! <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Oh, sorry, Sir. I thought you were done. You want me to turn ‘em back on?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Naw, forget it, the moment’s gone…

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Agent P is flying in his platypus-themed hovercraft. He notices Phineas and Ferb and pulls his fedora down to hide from them as he flies past''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: So the way I see it, the solid fuel rockets kick in at the mall parking lot. Then we release the snakes during our corkscrew around the interstate. I’m gonna go get some snakes.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">He leaves and Ferb puts on his mask and uses the blowtorch.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace runs into the store <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Mom, you’ve gotta come home right now.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Let me guess, a herd of wild moose are in our living room.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: No. Besides, it’s mooses.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: No, I think the word “moose” is already plural.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Mom, trust me, it’s mooses…or meese. Do you want me to get a dictionary?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Is this what you came here for?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: No, Mom! You’ve gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing! They’re a building a roller coaster!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Candace, you’ve already used that one.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Mom, look, don’t roll your eyes at me! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Mom, look, just come over and see. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Mom, look, it shouldn’t be so hard! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Mom, look, they built it in the backyard. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Once they made it winter in June, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: I didn’t see it.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Built a rocket to the moon. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: I didn’t see it.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Mom, they cause me so much pain! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Now, Candace

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Once they even gave me Perry’s brain! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Oh, for crying out loud

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ They built a submarine, a time machine, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ A haunted house that made me scream, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Drove cattle through the mall, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Built a giant bowling ball, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Blew me up to fifty feet, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ A chariot dragged me down the street, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">(Candace stops to catch her breath)

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: ♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: ♪ Made their stupid clothes a fashion craze, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Shoelace tips a household phrase, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Shot me through a circus tent, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Always ask where Perry went, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ A lava flow destroyed my face, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ A giant roller derby race, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Thawed a caveman out of ice, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Built a roller coaster twice! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Candace, seriously, isn’t Phineas a little young to be a roller coaster engineer?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Well, yes. Yes, he is.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Switches to Phineas in a car factory with the manager <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Building Engineer: ♪ Aren’t you a little young to build a roller coaster? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ''Yes. Yes, I am.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Building Engineer: ♪ Well, I must say that I’m really quite impressed, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ But all your permits are in order. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Don’t forget the bricks and mortar ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And if you need a power loader, be my guest! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Though if I’m pressed, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I’d say you look a little young to drive a forklift. ♪ <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ''Yes. Yes, I am.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Building Engineer: ♪ It’s good to see a younger guy like you, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Who’s creative and ambitious, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ A little bigger than his britches, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And who’s got a fresh, exciting point of view ♪

Yes, it’s true <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ That you seem a little young to do the things that you do, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Even with all the moxie you’ve got. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Yes, you seem a little green to be controlling this machinery. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Yeah. I get that a lot. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The scene changes to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Where being evil not debatabl-

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">You know, I should really write the rest of that someday…

Perry jumps in from the window <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus, what a surprise. And by surprise I mean not a surprise at all. Let me show you what I’ve been working on.

Doofenshmirtz presses a button which activate arms that grab Agent P <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have covered the entire eastern seaboard in tonfoil…again. But this time when I put my giant magnet next to my ingenious Magnitism Magnifinator, I will pull the East in a westerly direction, thereby reversing rotation of the Earth. I know I tried this before but that was with a Magnifier this is a Magnifinator. See, I added the suffix –inator. It’s a completely different ball game. I know you’re probably expecting some tragic back story, explaining why I want to reverse the rotation of the Earth. But I’m not gonna go there. You know why? Well, I’ll tell ya!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ♪ Back in Gimmelschtump ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I always had to keep it real ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Cause when you grow up in Gimmelshtump ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Young Heinz: ♪ Your childhood is less than ideal! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ♪ So I don't dwell on how I'll crawled my way out of the gutter ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">No, I don't!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ When people ask me what I mean, I say ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ D-D-D-Do I stutter! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Suddenly changes to a broadway tune

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ♪ But I'm no longer a hater ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Cause I got an Inator ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And a over-complicated scheme ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I get a couple of checks ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Every month from my Ex ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ So I can finance my coming regime! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And though my past was a wreck ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I won't let it affect ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ My aspirations to cause mass hysteria ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ ‘Cause I'm as sure as can be ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ That it's my destiny ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ To be the ruler of the Tri-State Area! ♪

Yeah!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Dancer: So, uh, are we done? ‘Cause I gotta pick up my kid from school…

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: One secondjust wait ‘til it fades to black.

The screen goes black <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: All right, now you can go.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Back in the store <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: But, Mom, I’m telling you, they’re building it, and it’s huge!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: And I’m telling you, you’ve used this story before.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Yeah, but this time it’s a musical!

''Ferb puts up a poster. Candace goes over to it'' <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: “Phineas and Ferb present the Collest Coaster Ever, now open”? Mom!

She runs off just as three kids come over to it <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Pedro: Hey, the Coolest Coaster Ever! You think we’ll get in free with this flyer?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Another Kid: We didn’t last time. Maybe we should take it just in case.

They tear it down and go to leave when Buford steps in their way <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Buford: Hey, if anyone’s gonna ride this thing, it’s gonna be me. Not one of you lousy extras.

Candace pulls Linda to where the poster had been hanging <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Here, look, look, look, see? I told you I’m not crazy! I told you!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: And you’re not crazy because?

Candace looks to see the poster’s gone, she screams <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: I see your point, Candace. No crazy person would scream at a post like that. I’ll be in the dairy section if you want to come yell at some cheese. Would you like that, honey? Would you like to yell at some cheese?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: A little.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Well, c’mon, then.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">In Agent P’s hideout <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: I hope Agent P is having good luck like I told him to.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ My whole world is this screen ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Just four walls-- ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''He is cut off when the scene suddenly changes to the backyard where kids are gathered in front of a stage. Ferb walks onstage and taps the microphone. He stands there for a second before he suddenly dances but quickly stopping and stepping aside as Phineas come up from a trapdoor.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! May I present to you a spectacle most of the morning in the making! Mark your calendars because you will want to tell your grandchildren about the day you rode the Coolest…Coaster…EVER!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Ferb reveals the roller coaster. After the camera finishes panning up, a bird crashes into the top, falling down.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: And this time it’s a musical. <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">On the roller coaster <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: To fasten, insert the tab into the metal buckle. To release, just pull back on the- (He drops the seatbelt) oops.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: ♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Phineas, are you sure this is safe?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Of course!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background singers: ♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ It's like a leisurely drive around downtown, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ But it starts with a 3 mile drop straight down! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And now keep your head and hands and feet inside the ride, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Not a written rule but it's strongly implied. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Permanecer sentados, por favor! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Scream if you want more! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ That's right! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Cork screwin 'round the interstate, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ With peanut butter and rubber snakes! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Clear the way, move over, ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Look out, Bud. ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Here comes the mud! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: ♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Look out!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Right side up and upside down ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Don't ask me to talk ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Can't tell a verb from a noun ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And I'm screaming like a baby ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Who's afraid of a clown ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Buford: ♪ I'm glad I'm wearing trousers That are already brown! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ It'll twist your belly ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ It'll turn your gut ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Man, is this ride sweet or what? ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪We go: ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and passengers: ♪ Ah ah ah! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Ferb: ♪ We go: ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and passengers: ♪ Ah ah ah! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Ferb: ♪ We go: ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and passengers: ♪ Ah ah ah! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Yeah rollercoaster ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Buford: ♪ I got the poster! ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Background Singers: ♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ (Rollercoaster, roll, rollercoaster) ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Back with Doofenshmirtz and Perry

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: So now I’m left holding a ten gate house in a twelve gate neighborhood. My accountant wants me to walk away from the whole thing. But, like, I can’t do that. Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean I don’t care about my credit rate.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Agent P hits a screw toward Doofenshmirtz with his tail, but he ducks

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Ha! You missed!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''The screw bounces off the wall, flying up to the ceiling. It hits a line and bounces back, going into Doofenshmirtz’s foot''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Aaahh!! Ow, Ow, Ow, Aaaooowww!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Doofenshmirtz, as he’s jumping around holding his foot, accidently bumps into the button that controls the arm restraints, releasing Perry the Platypus. Agent P quickly attacks him. While they’re fighting, Dooofenshmirtz rolls a battery cart toward him. Perry jumps over it easily, and it falls outside through a window''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Outside the building

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Farmer’s Wife: I can’t believe you walked all the way to the service station to get the jumper cables, but you didn’t bring the battery cart! I mean, what did you think a battery cart was just going to fall out of the sky?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The battery cart lands next to the man

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Farmer’s Wife: Okay… (smiles hopefully) What did you think a million dollars was just going to fall out of the sky?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Farmer: It doesn’t work that way.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Farmer’s Wife: Well, how does it work then?!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Back with Perry and Doof, the scientist pulls a lever, activating the Magnitism Magnifinator

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Now you are too late! Quake in your boots and watch helplessly as the unimaginable electromagnetic forces pull the East in a westerly direction thereby reversing rotation of the--

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The tinfoil comes off of the buildings

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Well, that didn’t work.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The tin foil forms into a giant ball, flying through the air

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: And now we have a two ton ball of tin foil traveling two hundred miles an hour, directly at us! Quickly, we must separate the magnet from the Magnifinator before it is too late!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">He and Perry try to move the magnet and the Magnifinator before Doofenshmirtz stops

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: Is it just me or is this a serious déjà vu moment? I feel like I’ve been here before-you were there the tin foil and “Quickly, we must separate the magnet” Huh. Oh, well, weird. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Aaaahhh! (Resumes trying to move the Magnifinator)

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">In the store, Candace is seen yelling at some cheese

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Woman: Man, is she mad at that cheese!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Children screaming can be heard in the distance

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Wait a minute, what’s going on out there?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">She goes outside and sees that the roller coaster goes right through the parking lot

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Mom! Mom! (She runs back inside)

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">At Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: It’s no use! It’s no use, we are doomed!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Agent P sees a helicopter. He jumps onto the magnet and fires a grappling hook at it. He quickly wraps some of the rope around the magnet. The helicopter flies off, taking the magnet with it.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Doofenshmirtz: You did it! You saved us Perry the Platypus! You saved us-again, again with the déjà vu. You were up there I was saying, “You saved us.” And then, hm, and then somethng came from that direction- (The tin foil ball crashes into the building) Curse you, déjà vu!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The magnet pulls the Magnetism Magnifier onto it, and gets stuck on the coaster, which then follows the helicopter into the sky

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace pulls her mother into the parking lot

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Look, look, look! See?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda looks to see the parking lot just like normal

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: …Okay, I give up. What am I supposed to be looking at?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace looks to see it’s disappeared

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: No! It’s not possible!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: I’m gonna go get the cart.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: But it was right here and it was huge! (She sees the roller coaster being carried away by the helicoptor) Mom!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Time to go, I’ve got frozens!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the backyard, right?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Well, yes, that would be my guess.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace grabs the cart, running to the car

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Fine then. Let’s go home! Now!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Agent P sees that the helicopter is smoking and cuts the rope. He drops down onto the coaster and in the cart, right behind Phineas and Ferb''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Oh, there you are Perry.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Perry chatters

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Nice hat Isabella.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella takes off Agent P's fedora and looks at it, a bit confused.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The car goes to the end of the track and goes into a construction area, it eventually end up getting flung into the air

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Funny, I don't remember this in the blueprints.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">An airplane picks up the roller coaster by the plane's tail

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: And I'm sure this is new.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace sees the airplane from Linda's car and laughs somewhat psychotically, and blinks with one eye at a time

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: I worry about you sometimes, Candace.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''The coaster car drops down and onto the Statue of Liberty, bending it and throwing the car toward Mount Rushmore. The roller coaster circles in Theodore Roosevelt’s glasses before flying out and past a herd of moose''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: You know, if they break into our house, Candace is in charge.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The car lands on a pine tree which bends lowering them down toward a Mr. Slushy Burger stand

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Oh, hey, Jeremy.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Jeremy: Hey, Phineas. Anybody want fries?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Nah, we’re good.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''The tree straigtens out again and throws them to Paris France. The get stuck on the Eiffel Tower just like they had with the tree.''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">French Man: Crepe Suzette?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: What do you say, Suzette? You want a crepe?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Suzette: No thank you.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''The Eiffel Tower straightens out and the roller coaster is flung into orbit. Meap flies past and stops to wave to Phineas and Ferb, who wave back. The coaster suddenly falls back down toward the Tri-State Area. All the other kids scream while Phineas and Ferb merely look down before Phineas turns to Ferb''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: It was good to see Meap.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda pulls into the driveway and Candace jumps out of the car, laughing psychotically again.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Okay, we’re here now. Are you happy, Candace?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace opens the gate to see Phineas and Ferb are not there

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: Yes! See, Mom? I told you they weren’t there!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">''Linda pokes her head through the gate as well. She smiles after seeing the boys''

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Hi, boys.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Hi, Mom.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Come on, Candace, help me with the groceries.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Candace: But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but…

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Linda: Let’s go. (She pulls her away)

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">In the backyard, kids suddenly start coming out of the tree

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Kid: Hey, Phineas, that was great.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Pedro: Way too cool!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Third Kid: That was awesome! Can we do it again?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Sorry, only one ride per customer.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: That was great, Phineas! So, what’re you gonna do tomorrow?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Well, you know what they say: carpe diem.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Isabella: Excuse me?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Carpe diem. It’s Latin for “seize the day”.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Ferb: Or you could say “seize the day” was English for “carpe diem”.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Yes. Yes, you could.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: ♪ Well we hope you all enjoyed the show ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Hope it was not anti-climatic ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Now there's something we want you to know ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And we don't want to sound didactic ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas and entire cast: ♪ But if there's one thing we can say ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ I know it sounds a bit cliché ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ There's no such thing ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ As just an ordinary day ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And you don't have to build a roller coaster ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ To find your own way to make the most of ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ These days of summer ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ And dance to the beat of a different drummer ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Just grab those opportunities when you see 'em ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ 'Cause every day's a brand new day, you gotta Carpe Diem ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Fireside Girls: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The music stops

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Kenny Ortega: Alright, people, that was fabulous. But I want to work on one thing.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, world reknowned cheorographer, Kenny Ortega!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Kenny Ortega: Thanks, Phineas. All right now let’s make sure that when we sing the chorus we hit that straight arm. All right? Straight arm on both sides. Now. One more time, performance level. Five, six, seven, eight.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Entire cast: ♪ And you don't have to build a roller coaster ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ To find your own way to make the most of ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Every minute ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ No more waiting for the right time, you're in it ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ Just grab those opportunities when you see 'em ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ 'Cause every day's a brand new day, baby, carpe diem ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Martians: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.... ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Santa, Blay'n, Clewn't, and Agents: ♪ Ooh ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Love Händel: ♪ Every day's a brand new day, baby, carpe diem ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Ba-dink-a-dinks: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.... ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Professor Destructicon, The Regurgitator and entire cast: ♪ Every day's a brand new day ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Haney and entire cast: ♪ Baby, carpe diem ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Agents: ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.... ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">All: ♪ Every day's a brand new day ♪ ♪Carpe diem ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Perry chatters

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt"> Ending Credits

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">In Agent P’s hideout

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Oh, c’mon, Sir.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: No, Carl, the moment is gone.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Sir…

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: I got cut off twice already!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: But, Sir, you’re very good.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: I am?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Yes, Sir. I’ve heard you practice.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Well, I have been practicing.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: Yes, Sir. And, like the song says, carpe diem!

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Well, you can’t argue with Latin, can you?

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Carl: No, you can’t, Sir.

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">Monogram: Well, alrighty then. (He clears his throat)

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">♪ My whole world is this screen- ♪

<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt">The credits end, cutting him off.

Monogram: Oh, come on!