The Klimpaloon Ultimatum/Transcript

Mr. Random: Flashback to fashion forward.

Mr. Random: Let's get the award done. Tick tick tick.

Mr. Random: Ooh, me so happy!

Mr. Random: [laughs]

Mr. Random: I do like the sound of my own voice.

Mr. Random: Nnnnnot gonna happen.

Part 1
(opens up on Candace's room. Candace and Stacy are fans of Klimpaloon.)

(Doof sneaks into a door labeled "wardrobe". Agent P follows him. Cut to the Wardrobe room.)

Perry!

Doofenshmirtz: Aha! Perry the Platypus, your timing is incredible! And by that, I mean, "Completely credible!!" (Traps Perry) No, no, I mean, you're completely credible. I would vouch for you. Anyway, you're just in time for my latest inator. (Takes out a spray bottle.) Behold! (Perry just looks at him unimpressed.) I know what you're thinking. And, no, I did not invent a spray bottle, Perry the Platypus. Just stay with me through my backstory, alright? You see, I was reading The Danville City Charter...again, when I learned an interesting fact.

(Flashback.)

Doofenshmirtz: (voiceover) Back in 1805, Danville actually elected a warthog as mayor. The public was fed up with the previous administration and thought, "Hey, what's the worst that could happen?" Nepotism, that's what. He filled the cabinet with his uncles and brothers and distant cousins and all of City Hall was full of swine. Except for one chair that they kept empty, so y'know it wouldn't be...

(End flashback.)

Doofenshmirtz (cont'd): ...so conspicuous. So it was decided to never allow another warthog to be in a position of authority. P-Perry the Platypus, are you texting while I'm monologuing?! (He is. Doof takes the cell phone away. Perry simply shrugs.) And how are you even getting a signal in here?

(record scratch)

Slamm: I object! The song does not belong in the fact-based song category! Klimpaloon is not real!!

Phineas: What?!

Ferb: What?

Lindana: What?

Sherman: What?

Danny and Bobbi: What?

Candace: What?

Everyone: WHAT?!?!!

Sherman: My nana told me stories about Klimpaloon.

Slamm: Well, that's not good enough. Seeing is believing! And no one has ever seen Klimpaloon!

Candace: Um, excuse me, but I have seen him!

Phineas: That's right! You tell 'im, Candace!

Mr. Random: (emerging from the shadows) I'm afraid that's not good enough either.

Max Modem: Ladies and gentlemen, Mittington Random!

(applause)

Mr. Random: Thank you, Max...errr...whoever. Mittington Random here, sponsor of the show and President of Random Swimwear. You're welcome. According to the rules, when a fact-based song is called into question, physical proof must be presented here within 24 hours.

Danny: How are we supposed to do that?

Mr. Random: Well, actually, you can't.

Danny: Wait, what?!

Mr. Random: Oh, Daniel, the rules clearly state that the band, along with the presenters, are to be locked in a soundproof room for 24 hours or until evidence is provided, whichever comes first.

Max Modem: Wait a minute, why the presenters?

Mr. Random: I can't hear you 'cause you're supposed to be in a soundproof booth.

(Love Händel, Lindana and Max are led offstage.)

Lindana: Oh oh oh...

Mr. Random: Move along.

Lindana: Candace, you're in charge.

Mr. Random: Okay, sorry for the inconvenience, folks, but it looks like we're gonna have to move this category to the end of the show.

(curtain closes)

Part 2
(opens up on The Tristies)

End Credits
(Song: New Look for Old Fashion)

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