S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants)

, is the name of the rap/hip-hop song in the episode "Comet Kermillian" by a group of rapping street performers called 2 Guyz N the Parque in the Danville Park. The song was improvised when Candace passed by the group, struggling to get two squirrels out of her pants. Immediately before, Suzy Johnson had used a croquet mallet to shoot an acorn into her pants and the squirrels followed the acorn.

Indented lines in all versions are sung at the same time as the line above it.

Broadcast version
Street Performer 1: Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!

Candace: ''AHHHHHHH! There are squirrels in my pants!''

Street Performer 1: That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.

Candace: There's squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Tell me what's making you jump like that!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats.....

Background singers: S-I-M-P,

Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P,

Then maybe you can be moving like me...

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, watering your plants...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence living in France...

Background singers: She can't see the-

Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: ''Squirrels! Squirrels!''

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Candace: AAH!

Street Performer 1: ''Wow! She had actual squirrels in her pants.''

Street Performer 2: We just got served.

Extended version
Candace: There are squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Tell me what's makin' you jump like that!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats...

Background singers: S-I-M-P,

Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1 and Background Singers: S to the I to the M to the P, Then maybe you can be movin' like me...

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers and Street Performer 2: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, waterin' your plants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence livin' in France...

Background singers: She can't see the-

Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singers and Street Performer 1: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: There's somethin' in my trousers, you know it ain't ants!

Background singers: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Yeah... Proletariat, bourgeoisie!

Background singers: Baby you don't need an academic degree!

Street Performer 1: Everybody's smellin' my potpourri!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singer, Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2: Down, down, on the ground... 'Cause you know I got it goin' on!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!

(I...) S to the I to the M to the P!

(M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: If you're losin' your hair get yourself implants!

Background singer: (I..) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: If you're wrestlin' a bear then you ain't got a chance!

Background singer: (M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!

Background singer, Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2: Ain't about love! Ain't about romance! I got squirrels in my pants!

Best Live Tour Ever version
Phineas: ''Hey Candace. I like your new dance moves!'' Candace: There's squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Tell me what's makin' you jump like that!

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Ain't got no chickens, Ain't got no rats...

All: S-I-M-P,

Candace and Background singers: Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1 and Background Singers: S to the I to the M to the P, Then maybe you can be movin' like me...

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P)

Street Performer 2: Step right over and watch me put it...

All: S-I-M-P!

Street Performer 2: Who you got back home, waterin' your plants?

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: How can I qualify for government grants?

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 2: Yeah... Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Got an Aunt Florence livin' in France...

Background singers: She can't see the-

Candace: Squirrels in my Pants!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: (S to the I to the M to the P,)

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

All: S-I-M-P!

Street Performer 1: If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: There's somethin' in my trousers, you know it ain't ants!

All: S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants!

Street Performer 1: Yeah... Proletariat, bourgeoisie!

Background singers: Baby you don't need an academic degree!

Street Performer 1: Everybody's smellin' my potpourri!

All: S-I-M-P!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it down...

Candace: Squirrels! Squirrels!

Street Performer 1: Step right over and watch me put it...

Background singer, Street Performer 1 and Street Performer 2: Down, down, on the ground... 'Cause you know I got it goin' on!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!

(I...) S to the I to the M to the P!

(M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!

Candace: (P!) Squirrels! Squirrels!

Background singers: S to the I to the M to the P!

Background singer: (S...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: If you're losin' your hair get yourself implants!

Background singer: (I..) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 2: If you're wrestlin' a bear then you ain't got a chance!

Background singer: (M...) S to the I to the M to the P!

Street Performer 1: Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!

All: (P!) Squirrels! (x 13) Candace: In my pants!

Background Information

 * In Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown, S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) was the 5th favorite song chosen by Phineas and Ferb fans.
 * The song is heard in Disney's Phineas and Ferb: The Best LIVE Tour Ever!, and is also used in the Phineas and Ferb's Rockin' Rollin' Dance Party show at Disney California Adventure.
 * S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) is also one of the eight songs that was re-released in the Phineas and Ferb Karaoke Soundtrack.
 * The whole song, Candace is "dancing" to try and get the squirrels in her pants out of them, but the street performers interpreted it as she was dancing, during the song. At the end, the squirrels jump out and the Street Performers find that they have been "served." The street performers are "served" again twice later. The second by Candace again, the third time the street performers are "served" with steaks instead of a comeuppance.
 * This may have been a parody to Goofy's music video in "Disney's House of Mouse" short "How to be a Rockstar" in which the song's lyrics consist mainly of the word "squirrel".
 * One of the street performers appeared again in the song Come Home Perry, Ain't No Kiddie Ride, Gimme a Grade and Candace Gets Busted.
 * "Proletariat" and "bourgeoisie" are words also used in the song Charmed Life.
 * The naming of the song may have come from the song "S.M.P." by Goldfinger.
 * In a video on NBA.com, the music for the highlights reel is Squirrels in My Pants. []
 * The tune may come from Nipple to the Bottle by Grace Jones.
 * In Take Two with Phineas and Ferb, Regis Philbin sang a version of this song.

Continuity

 * One of the street performers can be seen sitting next to Candace on the Mix and Mingle Machine before it starts in a later episode. He and another street performer appear later in the song during the grid of people. He was also in "Let's All Dance Until We're Sick", "Come Home Perry". And most of the dancers appeared in "A Real Boy (song)". ("Cheer Up Candace", "Nerdy Dancin'", "Oh, There You Are, Perry", "A Real Boy")
 * After the other sentences, "S-I-M-P, Squirrels in my pants" is heard by the background singers.
 * One of the performers can be seen in the far right during the chorus of Gimme a Grade. ("The Baljeatles")
 * Also in Gimme a Grade, one of the bystanders can be seen (the guy with brown hair wearing a green shirt with an oval on it). He makes numerous reappearances, including in "Not So Bad A Dad".
 * In Wizard of Odd, Candace runs screaming from the flying squirrels ("Comet Kermillian"), and tone when shouting "Squirrel! Squirrel!" matches the tone in which she shouts "Squirrels! Squirrels!" in the song.
 * Heinz Doofenshmirtz mentions the lyric "How can I qualify for government grants?" and points out that it has nothing to do with the song in the 2009 Radio Disney premiere.
 * The quote "Ain't got no chickens, ain't got no rats" may be a reference to the rat going into Doofenshmirtz's pants ("The Fast and the Phineas")

Songwriters

 * Michael Culross, Jr.
 * Jeff "Swampy" Marsh
 * Martin Olson
 * Dan Povenmire