There's a Platypus Controlling Me

 is a rap song by Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the party members from "Brain Drain".

Lyrics
Vanessa: Dad?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Vanessa!

Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest, I don't really understand

But I fell down this hill now I got glue on my hands

And I got records on my fingers

Teens: Whaaaat?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers

I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop

Teens: Don't stop

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop, I got a platypus controlling me

Teens: Whaat?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me

Now let me sum it up

It was a strange set of circumstances

Teens: Strange set of circumstances?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands,

now I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop

Teens: Don't stop! Don't stop!

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able

there's a platypus controlling me, he's underneath the table

Teens: There's a platypus controlling him—WHAAAT?

Teen: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down!

Teens: Like corporations are a platypus

The government's a platypus

Your teacher is a platypus

Weird Teen: My teacher is a panda

Teens: Society's a platypus

My parents are a platypus

The media's a platypus

It's all just propaganda

Yeah we've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No, just me

Teens: We've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able

Teens: We've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically

the platypus controlling me is underneath the table

''Wait! Oh wait, no, he's gone!''

Heyyy! There's no platypus controlling me…

There's no platypus controlling me!

Background information
thumb|300px|right|Demo version
 * This song is included in Phineas and Ferb: Across 1st and 2nd Dimensions.

Songwriters

 * Dan Povenmire
 * Martin Olson
 * Jeff "Swampy" Marsh
 * Kaz

Continuity

 * A panda is mentioned which might be refering to Peter the Panda. ("It's About Time!", "Robot Rodeo")
 * Once again, someone thinks what is being said is a metaphor. (first was "She's the Mayor")
 * The kid who says his teacher is a panda was in the crowd of bullies during Go Candace Go.